The World Made Yonder

Celia barely slept that night and when she saw Joey make Stephen his breakfast, he looked just as tired. Stephen was oblivious to any tension, babbling on about why Spider-Man was better than Batman. Joey listened to the boy, but without the usual friendly arguing or pushback. When he put a plate of toast and marmalade before Stephen, he was like a robot.

'You forgot to ruffle my hair, Daddy,' said Stephen.

'Sorry,' said Joey.

He gave the boy's hair a cursory ruffle and went back to the kitchen worktop. Celia left the room, unable to watch any more. She locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and burst into tears. A few minutes later, she heard her husband shout from downstairs:

'I'm off now!'

'Fine!' she yelled back, her voice hoarse.

There was a pause, then she heard the front door open and close. Celia washed her face and retouched her makeup before going downstairs to join her son. Their son, she reminded herself. Stephen was sweet and adorable; how could Joey be such a pig? Celia had a sudden fantasy of smashing Joey's head in with the pressure cooker.

Celia drove the boy to school, then continued to the office where she worked as an account manager. She was trying to concentrate on an email when her phone pinged. It was a text message from Joey, asking if she could do the school pick-up that afternoon. She texted back, 'Why???' and Joey sent a reply saying he and Jeremy had to work late on a web commercial. Celia was tempted to call Jeremy but resisted. Jeremy would probably cover for Joey on principle. Men always stuck together, even if one of them was being a prick. She texted back 'Fine!' and tried to get back to work.

It was no good. Celia went out for a walk and while she stood in the car park looking up at the cloudy sky, she suddenly remembered how effective Joey's line 'I'm considering divorce' had been against her.

Maybe two could play at that game.

***************************

It was past nine o'clock when Joey arrived home. Stephen was already in bed, having asked his mother over and over, 'Where's Daddy? Can I say goodnight to Daddy?' The old Joey would have gone upstairs to see his son, but this evening Joey went straight into the kitchen-dining room, his computer bag still slung over his shoulder. He found his wife standing before a bare dining table, her hair tied back, dressed entirely in black. The only objects were a bottle of whiskey and two glass tumblers. Celia cleared her throat.

'Not going upstairs to say goodnight to your son?' she said.

'Not tonight.'

Celia nodded, her face sour, as though expecting this contemptable behaviour.

'Sit down, please, Joey,' she said. 'There is something I want to say to you.'

Even in the dim light, Celia saw Joey's face turn pale. 'Good,' she thought. Joey carefully placed his computer bag on the floor against the wall and came over to the table. The chair scraped on the floor as he pulled it back and he winced. Celia sat down and poured two whiskeys. Joey took his seat and she placed a glass in front of him. Somehow, her hospitality was more worrying than hostility.

Celia picked up her glass and swirled the amber liquid, trying to work out where to begin. She had thought of coming right out with the line about divorce, but she didn't quite trust her ability to pull it off. She needed to work up a bit of indignation first.

'Joey,' she said. 'Ever since we saw that movie, you've been acting weird.'

'Celia...'

'Let me finish, please. I want to say what I want to say, and then you can respond. Agreed?'

Joey frowned. He nodded and took a sip of whiskey.

'As I said,' went on Celia, 'you've been acting weird since that movie and it's not difficult to guess why. Especially when I saw you this morning with Stephen.'

Joey fidgeted on his chair, forcing himself not to interrupt.

Celia said: 'The movie showed a husband unknowingly bringing up another man's child as his own. That clearly triggered some kind of insecurity in you.'

'Wrong!' said Joey.

'Joey, you agreed to let me finish!'

'Fine! Please go on with your incorrect hypothesis!'

Celia stared at him, furious.

'Joey, it's obvious you were triggered by the movie!'

'Not by the movie! By your reaction to the movie!'

'What do you mean? What reaction?'

'You loved it!' cried Joey. 'You were in tears by the end! You would have jumped into the screen and given that woman a hug if you could!'

Celia was stuck for words. Joey was correct, but she knew admitting it would be a terrible idea. But she couldn't deny it either. In the end, she resorted to:

'It was just a movie!'

'A movie with a very clear message!' said Joey. 'It said that a man who doesn't inflame a woman's passion doesn't deserve to father her child. In fact, Fate punished the husband for presuming that providing for her and even fighting her lover's cause merited any kind of loyalty! The woman not only cuckolded the man and lied to her son, but the film made it abundantly clear that it didn't think she did anything wrong! In fact, the message was: "She stayed true to her heart!" That's why she got everything she wanted at the end!'

Celia was silently mad with frustration. She was supposed to be the indignant one and Joey had gazumped her. She finished her whiskey and poured herself another one.

'Listen, I really don't give a crap about the film!' said Celia. 'What I care about is that you don't seem to trust me!'

'Would you trust you?'

'What kind of question is that?'

'A pretty straightforward one,' said Joey. 'Would you prefer not to answer it?'

'Don't try to twist this around!'

'I love how women refer to straight questions as "twisting".'

Joey shrugged and finished his whiskey. Celia glared at him, baring her teeth in what was almost a snarl. How did Joey keep doing this? She almost always got her way with small stuff, but when things got serious, he had an almost preternatural ability to make her feel like the unreasonable one. Yet, even as she contemplated her husband, his own words ended up being her salvation.

'Joey, you once told me that you couldn't be married to a woman who found you sexually repulsive,' she said. 'Do you remember that?'

Joey became very still. He saw the trap and was looking for a way to avoid it. It was important Celia didn't give him the time.

'It's a simple enough question,' she said. 'Or would you prefer not to answer it?'

Joey smiled.

'Well played,' he said.

'I'm not playing games!'

'No, of course not.' He poured himself another whiskey. 'All right, the answer is yes. I do remember.'

'Then I'm sure you understand that I cannot be married to a man who doesn't trust me. No, it's more than that: I cannot be married to a man who thinks I'm capable, not only of cheating on him, but of lying to our son about his father!'

Joey nodded. He took a mouthful of whiskey. Celia was shocked at how unshocked he was.

'Did you hear what I just said?' she demanded.

'Yes, I did.'

'Then what the fuck, Joey!?'

'Celia, you don't have to shout. I understand the situation.'

'What does that mean?'

'It means I understand that I am expected to accept your word that Stephen is my son. And that any alternate suggestion—such as a paternity test—would be regarded as a breach of trust. Is that correct?'

Celia glared at him, so enraged she was gnashing her teeth. Joey considered.

'All right, let me say it another way,' he said. 'I do agree with you that the possibility of Stephen being another man's child is too horrible to contemplate. I believe that a woman who does that to her husband is a piece of human dog shit. A woman who does that to her husband is lower than the lowest whore. In fact, a prostitute who fucked a thousand men has more integrity than a woman who—'

Celia was on her feet, walking to the door. When she got to it, she turned and said:

'Joey, you're sleeping in the spare bedroom until you either convince me that you trust me, or until you find somewhere else to live. It's up to you.'

Without another word, she left the room and went upstairs to bed.

***************************

Jackie Warren stomped into the Starbucks and groaned at the length of the queue. She looked around to see if Celia was already here somewhere, but of course she wasn't. Celia was always late. Still, thought Jackie, Celia was the one driving a hundred miles to meet up, so she waved her annoyances away and joined the queue.

Jackie was almost at the counter when Celia appeared. Jackie waved and watched as the other woman made a beeline for her. Damn it, how did she manage to stay so thin? Jackie and Celia had been friends at art college—Celia was the dreamy blond waif to Jackie's sturdy rebel with a fuck-you mohawk. Jackie had long since exchanged her studded leather outfits with long wool coats and large shawls—the better to disguise her steadily growing bulk—but her hair was still dyed black and spiked, making her look like a human rights lawyer. Celia, on the other hand, still wore her hair long, albeit without the fringe, and her clothing was elegant but conservative. Jackie also noticed, with a twinge of envy, that her friend still got half the males in the room turning their heads to glance at her as she came over.

'Darling!' she said as she gave Celia a massive hug. For a moment, the two of them gazed at each other, overwhelmed by emotions and memories. Then a barista asked what they wanted and Jackie ordered for the two of them.

A few minutes later, Jackie and Celia were settling into a relatively private corner around a small circular table for three, the third chair being used for coats and bags. Along with coffees, Jackie treated them both to some overpriced cheesecake. As they caught up, Jackie's cheesecake disappeared within seven minutes, while two-thirds of Celia's would remain on the plate for the duration of the conversation. 'Just like old times,' thought Jackie wistfully.

'So how's married life?' asked Jackie. 'You still with that loser?'

'Jackie!'

'Sorry, but I never liked him.'

Celia sighed and said, 'In that case, you'll be happy to know that things are terrible. Joey's got it into his head that Stephen is not his biological son.'

'How did that happen?'

Celia told Jackie about The World Made Yonder and the events which followed. Jackie listened, her face like thunder. When Celia finished, Jackie got up from the table and gave her friend a big hug. Celia let Jackie hug her, putting her hand on her friend's arm.

'Thanks,' said Celia.

'You're too good for him,' said Jackie, going back to her seat.

'I don't know about that.'

'Of course you are! How dare he accuse you of such things!'

'Jackie, stop!'

At the nearby tables, people looked over. Celia winced and leaned forwards, keeping her voice low.

'Jackie, you know perfectly well that everything Joey suspects is true.'

'What, that you're a "piece of human dog shit"?' hissed Jackie.

Celia put her face in her hands. Jackie pushed the plates aside and reached across the table. She gently took Celia's hands and brought them down so she could look her friend in the eye.

'Listen, Celia, my darling,' said Jackie. 'You were presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You did what any woman in her right mind would have done.'

'What, cheat on my husband?'

'With Bjorn Eklund! Come on, Celia! Every girl at art college wanted to fuck him!'

'Practically every girl did!' said Celia. 'It was a nightmare being his girlfriend!'

'Not after you broke up. He was always coming back to you.'

'Yeah ... for sex.'

'I didn't hear you complaining.'

'Even so, Jackie.' Celia shook her head. 'It was a mean trick to invite Bjorn to your birthday party all those years later. You know how I felt about him.'

'That's precisely why I did it! Be honest, Celia ... did you really want Joey's kid?'

'My God...' murmured Celia. 'You really do hate him, don't you?'

'I don't hate him,' said Jackie. 'I just find him a mediocre man and the world already has enough of them, thank you very much.'

'That's not fair.'

'Nature isn't fair! And men like Joey know it! That's why they're such rabid supporters of marriage and monogamy!'

'What are you talking about, Jackie?'

'Men know perfectly well that women prefer to have sex with guys like Bjorn rather than guys like Joey. That's why the Patriarchy came up with monogamous marriage, so that men like Bjorn would get partnered up and force women to choose from the leftovers. The whole system is designed so that men like Joey can get a wife and reproduce. And Celia ... you're a victim of that system.'

'I don't know.'

Jackie reached across the table and took her friend's hand.

'Celia, do you believe you have the right to choose the father of your child?'

'Yes, of course!'

'And is Joey entitled to take that right away?'

'No, of course not,' said Celia. 'But he didn't force me to marry him, did he?'

'No, but he expected you to have his biological child, right?'

'Well ... yes, obviously.'

'So, how is that not taking your rights away? How is that not a form of coercion and oppression? How is that not a man blackmailing a woman into putting her body at his disposal?'

Celia didn't have an answer to that. She felt her hand being squeezed.

'Trust me, Celia,' said Jackie. 'You have done absolutely nothing wrong.'

***************************

On the edge of the city centre was a three-storey Victorian townhouse. It had been built by a wealthy merchant nearly two hundred years earlier and was now rented out as office space. J&J Animation Ltd took up half of the first floor, its doorway on the right-hand side as you went up the oaken staircase. The company's sixteen employees were spread through two huge rooms with high ceilings, creaking wooden floors and tall windows. Meanwhile, company founders Joey and Jeremy shared a medium-sized room overlooking the rear garden, although neither saw it much as the window blinds were almost permanently closed.

Jeremy sat before three huge monitor screens, two of which currently had shots of the latest film he was working on. The images were crisp, detailed and colourful. Jeremy himself gave the impression of someone slightly out-of-focus, with shapeless limbs, pudgy face, a sharp pointy nose and unkempt hair. Everything he wore was a shade of grey, from his almost-white undershirt to his not-quite-black jeans. Even his skin seemed less pink than a normal human's. He made Joey look like an athlete.

Joey had two monitor screens which were large rather than huge and he was currently on the Internet. At roughly the same moment as Jackie and Celia were taking their first bite of Starbuck's cheesecake, Jeremy glanced over at his business partner's screen. Even across the tables, he recognised the page Joey was staring at.

'Haven't you sent off for that thing yet?' said Jeremy.

Joey said nothing. Jeremy stared at his own screen, his electronic pen moving across the pad, the tiny white cross on the screen moving in tandem. He knew his partner was pretending not to hear and said:

'Doesn't it take a month for the results to get back?'

'What's your point?' said Joey.

'Well, if you really want peace of mind, isn't sooner better than later? What's in a DNA test kit anyway? Can't be much.'

'Cheeks swabs and sterilised plastic bags,' said Joey. 'Most of the expense is the laboratory fees.'

'Cool.'

'Cool? Jez, if I do this, I'm basically admitting to myself that I don't trust my own wife!'

'Well, of course you don't trust her. A man who trusts his wife doesn't look for DNA tests on the Internet.'

Joey groaned and pushed himself away from the monitor screen. His swivel chair had rollers and it carried him three metres across the floor—a feat made possible by the vinyl floor tiles covering the old wooden boards. Jeremy smiled, recalling how he'd insisted on those tiles so they could roll their chairs around. Then he remembered Joey was upset. He clicked SAVE on his work and swivelled his own chair to face his business partner and friend.

'Joey, what's the real problem?'

'I'm scared,' said Joey, his face in his hands. 'I'm absolutely terrified of what I might find out.'

Jeremy nodded solemnly. He wanted to put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, but scooting his chair across the floor seemed inappropriate given the situation and he didn't feel like getting up and walking over. He offered Joey his respectful silence.

There was a tap on the door and a round-faced woman wearing a huge green blouse looked in. She clutched a tablet before her like a miniature shield.

'Excuse me, do you have a minute?' she said.

'Not now, Lorna,' said Jeremy.

'Joey! Are you all right?'

'Lorna!'

'Sorry.'

The woman looked reluctant to leave. She opened her mouth, probably to ask if she could bring tea, and Jeremy gave her a look. She closed her mouth, glanced sadly at Joey and left, closing the door quietly behind her. Joey still had his face in his hands and Jeremy decided that it was now okay to scoot across the floor. He manoeuvred his chair next to Joey's and put his hand on the other man's back. The touch seemed to bring Joey back into the world. He sighed and looked at his friend.

'I know that I have to know,' he said. 'But I don't see any way it can end well. Either Stephen is not my son, which means Celia cheated on me and the marriage is over. Or he is my son and Celia will divorce me for not trusting her.'

'Can't you do the test without telling her?' said Jeremy.

'She'll know,' said Joey. 'I've been distant with Stephen—poor kid—and if I find out he's really mine, she'll notice the change. You can't hide something like that.'

'She managed it.'

'If she cheated on me, Jez. I don't know that for sure.'

'But she must have had the opportunity, right? I mean, nine months before Stephen was born, was there a situation when she might have cheated?'

'Yes.' Joey sighed and stared at the closed window blinds. 'Celia went to Jackie Warren's birthday party and didn't come home until the following evening.'

'Who's Jackie Warren?'

'A friend of Celia's from her art college days. They kept in touch.'

'Weren't you invited to the party?'

'Yes, but she knew I'd say no. Jackie and I couldn't stand each other. She's the kind of feminist who says men and women are equal, but then talks about men like they're cockroaches.'

'Well, that's just ... normal feminist,' said Jeremy.

'Yeah, well Jackie made it clear that she thought Celia was marrying beneath her. If my wife did shag some other guy, Jackie would have been in the next room popping the champagne.'

'Sounds like a charming woman. How about Celia?'

'What about her?'

'Was she different when she came back from the party?'

'Yes, but I thought that was just nostalgia. She said that Jackie had invited some old friends, people she hadn't seen for years...'

Joey's voice tailed off.

He got up from the chair and stood, staring at nothing. Jeremy hesitated, reluctant to move, then stood up himself and looked at Joey.

'What is it?' said Jeremy.

Joey looked at his business partner, a horrified despair in his eyes.

'I think I know who Stephen's father is,' he said.

***************************

That evening, the family sat around the table having dinner. Joey had cooked spaghetti bolognaise at the stainless-steel stove and Celia had come in still wearing her work clothes. The grown-ups drank wine while Stephen drank fizzy water with a splash of lime cordial. There was silence, aside from the clink of metal cutlery against china and the hum of the fridge-freezer in the background. Joey cleared his throat.