There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 20

"That could put a damper on the language you use. The helicopter will be here at 1 o'clock. We'll see you then."

"You bet your ass you will."

"It's funny you should mention that, my husband says the same thing."

"It's even funnier, so does mine."

***********

His tormentors didn't let him go as he climbed out of the pool.

Cassie said, "I thought it would be bigger."

"It shrunk because of the cold water."

"Excuses, excuses, excuses; Junie does it get bigger?"

"I don't know, he always hides it under a blanket."

"I will get you for that Junie. You are lying and you know it."

"It must be because of sleep deprivation."

Everyone laughed.

Anna said, "I've given blowjobs to dicks bigger than that Laura. I'm terribly disappointed. After all the rave reviews we heard about him, I expected much more."

"Little girl, if you would like me to pop your cherry, I'll be more than glad to show you how big it actually gets."

He got hit in the back of his head, and he realized what he said. He didn't bother turning around to see who hit him it was obvious.

"Junie, do you have tape? My mouth seems to be malfunctioning today. If it continues someone is going to kill me."

"You mean someone like me Callum?"

"I've been awake for about two hours. So far, I've insulted Cassie, Patti, and you. That leaves Laura, Anna, Sabrina, and Jemma. At the rate I'm going, I won't make it to lunch."

"I know a better way to keep you safe, and to keep your that mouth of yours busy at the same time. You are already undressed for the occasion. However, if you would rather pop Anna's cherry, you can have your ring back, and go on your merry way. I'm going back to bed. Are you coming with me?"

"Yes dear."

Junie grabbed him by the nose and led him away. The cheers and laughter would register as an earthquake on the Richter scale.

In all the years Cassie knew him, no one ever did this to Callum. He was always in command. He always led; he never followed.

Yet here was this tall willowy girl who had not only stolen his heart but she was leading him around by his nose.

Cassie loved it; she loved the change in her 'best' friend. He would make a wonderful husband, and a great father.

102. Ummm Dad!

"Hi mom, how bad is his attitude today?"

"I don't care about him; let me have Teddy so I can see how beautiful she is."

"Hello grandma, can I see grandpa?"

"You certainly can Newton although he is grumpier than a bear."

"Bears aren't grumpy. They get that reputation from humans who annoy them. You would be annoyed too if someone bothered your babies."

"Newton remind me to put my thinking cap on the next time we have a discussion. You are much too smart for me."

"I like our discussions grandma. They are never about math or science. They are always about something different."

"I'm pleased I can be of service to you."

"You're welcome grandma. I'm going to see grandpa now."

"When did he turned thirty, Delicious?"

"We've decided he's the same age as Gray. It's easier to keep track of birthdays that way. He is amazing mom, and you haven't heard the best of it yet. Let's go into the bedroom and you'll see it all."

"What's going on Delicious?"

"Gray nearly broke his neck when he heard about it. Please keep calm and try not to hurt yourself."

"Should I take a sedative, or get drunk?"

"In this case mom, probably both."

"I think I'll lie down by your father. I don't want to fall down and break my legs."

***************

"Hi dad, how are you?"

"I'm getting bed sores on my ass that's how I am. They let me out of here for thirty minutes a day, isn't that kind of them?"

"With an attitude like that I would put a ball gag in your mouth and keep you quiet."

"If Newton was not in this room I would tell you exactly what to do, where to do it, and how long to do it."

"Shut it dad. I have news for you, and if you're not nice I won't tell you."

"Nothing you have to say to me would interest me, except if the nuclear engine has arrived."

"The nuke is not here and you know it. Suck it up dad, if you don't get better, this project is going to fail."

"Go suck an egg. I want to get up and walk, and they won't let me. They keep telling me "It's too soon, it's too soon, it is much too soon."

"They can't stop you from thinking while you're in bed dad. They can bring you a laptop that is connected to Big Blue over a secure network. You don't have to be bored unless you want to be bored."

"Why didn't anyone tell me this? Why did everyone say it had to be a desktop computer, which I couldn't have next to me because of the monitors I am attached to. Who am I going to kill first?"

Jennifer tapped me on my shoulder. "I believe that would be me. I was not going to allow you to get caught up in your work, and suffer a relapse. I was more interested in keeping my husband alive, then getting the spaceship off the ground on time."

I looked into those eyes that can frighten me, or love me passionately. "You and I will discuss this later, much later."

"Gray call Stephano and get me the best scientific laptop there is please."

"I'll do it first thing in the morning Even."

"So what is this fantastic news you have for me?"

"Dad ask your granddaughter a question."

"May I hold her while I do it?"

"Absolutely."

"Hello Teddy, how are you this afternoon?"

Newton began laughing.

"Grandpa, Teddy said, "It's afternoon already, I must have slept through lunch."

"Newt are you playing with me?"

"I would never do that grandpa. I never lie. Teddy and I have been talking since she came home from the hospital. You can ask mommy."

"It's true dad, are you strong enough to take something big, and I mean really big."

"I may not be strong enough to walk according to my captors, but my faculties are where they belong."

"Newton tell grandpa what Teddy told you about him."

"When Teddy grows up she is going to be smarter than you are, and she is going to be your replacement."

Everyone around me thought I was going to be horrified by this news, but I was wasn't. I was overjoyed by it. It meant I would meet my Christmas deadline. We would find somewhere in this wonderful universe of ours to settle down and live a happy and fruitful life. It meant the seventy people who were coming with us were going to join together and make meaningful progress on this new world of ours. I didn't know if we were going to meet any of our otherworldly neighbors, but it would be nice. I always hoped in this gigantic expanding universe of ours we were not the only living creatures who looked up at the stars at night, and wanted to visit one of them. Our goal was now in sight, and this beautiful little creature in my arms had just given me that news.

"Grandpa, Teddy said, "Stop being nasty to my mommy."

I looked into my granddaughter's eyes and smiled. "Teddy before she was your mommy, she was my daughter. She is as beautiful as you are, but more temperamental than an active volcano. You can ask your father about it. He has to live with her."

"Dad that's not funny."

"I didn't tell Teddy it was funny. I told her the truth."

"Gray if you say one word to our daughter I will cut it off."

"Do you see what I mean little girl? Your father didn't do anything wrong, and your mother jumped all over him for no reason. He is an innocent bystander who got in the way of a truck traveling at high speed. I tried to warn him before they got married, but he was in love, and love blinds us all."

Newton said, "Teddy understands now grandpa. You are forgiven."

"Give me my baby back, you're a bad influence on her."

Newton started laughing again.

"What did she say Newton?"

"She is very funny mommy. She said when she is nursing, and she has teeth she is going to get even with you for yelling at her."

Jennifer said, "Ouch that is going to hurt."

I just laughed and laughed. My lousy mood was gone. If this wasn't the weirdest family known to man, I didn't know which was.

In the middle of all this wonderful family warmth and feeling, in walks Janice with my medication.

"I'm sorry everyone he's going to sleep for a little while."

"Grandpa, Teddy said to tell the nurse you don't want any pain medication. That's what putting you to sleep."

"Janice, I don't want any more pain meds. I don't need them anymore."

"Doctor Luck, you can't go off them cold turkey. We have to reduce them a little at a time."

"I'll take full responsibility for it Janice. I'll put it in writing for you, I don't want any more pain medication."

"Alright, I strenuously object to you cutting it off all at once, and I'm going to call the Doctor and tell him about it. I'll bring you a paper to sign releasing me from all culpability."

"Thank you Janice, whatever you bring me I will sign for you."

"Grandpa, Teddy said you will have one bad night, and tomorrow you will feel like a new person."

"Thank you Newton, and thank Teddy for me. Why don't you go play with Richard and Holden for a little while, before mommy and daddy have to take you home."

"Thank you grandpa, I'll see you again soon."

"You can count on it, I love you little boy, I love you a lot."

"Jennifer what did we do to be so blessed?"

"It wasn't me Even, I told you what I was like there's a young girl. It has to be you. Whatever you've done with your life, God has looked down on you with great favor."

"If I ever complain again, would you please hit me, and remind me of moments like these. The only thing that comes close to this is when I hid the peanut M&Ms from Divine on Easter Sunday, when I was eleven years old.

My parents were out, and she chased me all over the house for over an hour. All I did was laugh as she screamed at me. She was furious. We had chocolate rabbits. Yellow, pink, and white marshmallow rabbits, Cadbury eggs, and jellybeans. If it was in an Easter basket, we had it.

However, all my sister wanted was the jumbo size bag of Peanut M&M's my mother bought, and I hid it from her.

When she finally got tired of chasing me, she started crying and went to her room. She threw herself on her bed, and as her head hit her pillow, she heard 'CRUNCH!'

Instead of being happy she found the M&Ms, she screamed, "You bastard, I'm going to kill you," and the chase was on again. The only difference this time was we were both laughing.

"You should see how your face lights up when you talk about her. It is very evident how much you loved her."

"I didn't do enough for her when she was alive. I could have paid that idiot of hers $1 million to get him out of her life, and if he wanted more I would've paid him more just to set her free. I don't know what held me back. I don't know if it was because I thought she had a child by him, and she didn't want to break up the marriage because of it or not, but every time I asked her she would say no.

I could've arranged for him to have a deadly accident at work and no one would've missed him. You have no idea how many things went through my mind to try to help her, and I never did a thing. I never sent her a penny, and I was sitting on millions of dollars. How do you explain that to your conscience?"

"I know it's hard Even, but in her diary she told you she didn't want you to interfere."

"How do you know about Divine's diary?"

"I'll give you three guesses but you will only need one."

"My daughter has a big mouth."

"I told you one guess was all you would need. She idolizes her mother. Divine kept her safe from the asshole she was married to, and helped her get the books she needed from libraries all around the country. She was not only a marvelous sister to you, but she was a tremendous mother to Delicious."

"Yes I know, but I should have been a better brother."

My sister popped into my head.

"Even if you don't stop this I'm going to give you diarrhea the likes of which you have never seen. I am not going to allow anyone to clean it up but you. You didn't mess up my life, I did. I did something foolish and because of it, you are paying a price for me on earth. Stop mourning for me and get yourself together. When you wake up in the morning, I expect you to start working."

"I'm not buying you anymore peanut M&M's if you keep using that tone of voice with me."

"Here, all we have to do is think about them, and we have all the taste without the calories."

"Bitch!"

"Confession is good for the soul brother, and you have missed it for quite a while."

"They won't let me out of this damn bed. I can't even get to church."

"It's on television every Sunday for invalids like you."

"I didn't know that."

"Ignorance is not an excuse."

"I'll look it up in the newspaper this week, and I'll watch it this weekend, I promise."

"Go to sleep Even, you are tired."

Apparently, I had been sleeping, because when I turned over to tell Jennifer what my sister said she wasn't there. The room was dark and the bedroom door was closed. I must be wonderful company. I closed my eyes again and began to dream:

Gordon and I discussed opening a wormhole in space using the mathematical theory called "SUPERSYMMETRICS." It's part of the Open-end String Theory he said I used to get out of the Time I was locked in, and shortened the space between two points in Space by creating a Wormhole. Now I was wondering if we could do it in Real Time and in Real Space for the first time.

After we passed Jupiter, we would no longer need the Gravity defying power of Delicious' engines. We could use her engines to generate three megawatts of electricity, which should be more than we need to power ourselves through TIME. I needed Big Blue to verify the numbers, but I was sure I was correct.

The Exascale computer would have our planetary destination locked in, but the Heteroic Superstrings live in ten dimensions, and they do not like to be tied down to just one at a time. We would pick an 'Open Ended String' and verify if that was the 'String,' we wanted to hitch a ride on to open the wormhole.

The 'Strings' are 'Harmonic,' and if you miss by one 'String,' instead of stopping in Andromeda, you could be 1160 light years away in Dwingelo 2. Even worse, if the 'String' you get caught in is a 'Closed Loop Superstring,' and you can't develop enough power to break through it, and into another dimension, you are going to go around the 'Closed Loop Superstring' for the remainder of time, never getting a day older than the day you entered it.

"What a horrible thought."

There is always one other possibility, you could go back in time. Einstein did develop a theory on that possibility, but even he considered the highly improbable. I didn't want to be the one to test it.

However, using the 'Supersymmetric Theory,' our flight time to our new planet would decrease from the matter of years down to a matter of months. This was something worth working diligently on. Tomorrow morning I would begin that quest with pen and paper, while I waited for my laptop computer.

My mind switched off from the deeper part of its analysis to something closer to home. I wondered what my son was doing in Georgia. I hoped he was having a wonderful time, and that Zoie and he were learning about the best parts of one another."

***************

Zoie was wearing a big floppy straw hat under a huge beach umbrella at a resort on Kiawah Island.

Gordon was forty feet from shore powering himself through the waves using his arms and legs as powerful machines. He made the distance in no time at all.

She started screaming at him when he was a few feet away from her.

"Don't you even think about it Gordon. I just put suntan lotion on and I don't want it to get blotchy. Gordon don't do it. Don't do it."

As he towered over her, all the water from his body dripped onto hers, and she started beating on his legs.

"You bastard, I'm going to have to put lotion on my body all over again."

He smiled at her and said, "Well if that's the case..."

He dropped down on top of her forcing his wet body on top of hers. His mouth sought hers, but she turned away. He went after her neck, ears, and throat, before she gave in.

"You beast, you don't deserve me."

"There's that cute little redhead over there, who seems to be interested. Do you think she just wants me, or is she interested in a threesome?"

"Touch her and you'll never touch me."

"We are getting possessive, aren't we?"

"Mister Luck, your ass belongs to me."

"Okay, but I don't think she's interested in my ass."

"Gordon you promised no more arguments."

"I thought we would just having fun. Do I look like I'm going anywhere? I have a beautiful young woman lying beneath me. She's wearing a bikini that barely covers anything, and if she went into the ocean, the waves would wash it away. I wouldn't have to remember how to use a hook and eye, even though the remedial course was helpful."

"Where did you get a bathing suit like that Gordon?"

"They are the height of fashion in Texas."

"I guess Texans wear boots with them."

"Boots with spurs to keep little heifers in line."

"Did you just call me a cow?"

"I most certainly did not. I answered your question."

"I'm going to need a tape recorder for my questions, because it certainly sounded like you called me a cow."

"Would you like me to repeat your questions and answers?"

"I'm sure you can, but no, it won't be necessary. I have to go to school tomorrow, what are you going to do while I'm there?"

"I thought I would tag along and see what they're teaching. I know I have to stop in the office to get permission, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"I'll have my dad call and tell them that you going to join me. It should smooth the way considerably."

"I would think so. He probably built one of their buildings for them."

"Are you going to continue laying on top of me until I'm part of the sand, or you going to get off sometime soon?"

"I am very comfortable. I think I'll stay here."

"Where would you like me to put this handful of sand I have?"

"You're probably not thinking of the same place I am, are you?"

"More than likely the answer would be no. If you're not off me in five seconds you'll find out where my first choice is."

"Why is it that women always ruin a perfect Sunday?" He rolled over and pulled Zoie on top of him.

"Are you happier in this position dear?"

As she pushed the sand into his face, she said, "Yes!" She got up and ran away.

Gordon spit the sand out of his mouth. He wiped it off his face with a towel, took a drink of water to rinse out his mouth. Then he looked for his misguided angel. He saw her running down the beach as fast as her feet could carry her. He decided to let her go. He change the angle of the beach umbrella to protect himself from the direct rays of the sun, fixed the blanket they were laying on, put on his sunglasses and lay down. She would wonder where he was and why he didn't chase her. She would return, and then he would take his revenge.

It was the same thing here in Georgia that he had to put up with in Texas. They were constantly shadowed by guards. As Zoie ran down by the beach's edge, a man and woman were running along the sea grass keeping an eye on her. His agents were discrete distance away doing crossword puzzles to pass time. As far as he was concerned, these men and women were never paid enough. To stay vigilant hour after hour, when they should be bored to tears is an art form unto itself. When he spoke to Monty about it, she always told him it was training. It all came from training. You train the mind to be aware of everything around you, and you never become bored.