There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 25

"Okay Mister James, I'll wait out here."

"Thanks El; I will try to keep her is calm as possible, but if you feel an earthquake, it will be because she is so happy."

"Go give her the good news, you don't need me around you anymore, I'm going back to work. I'm going to have a lot of it, because of this accident. However, I know that you didn't cause it. Take care."

Rory walked into the room, and found Lucy laying comfortably on the examination bed. As he pulled the chair closer to her he whispered, "I'm about to tell you something that you're probably not going to understand. However, you must act as if you are overjoyed, overjoyed to the 10th degree. Don't ask me why."

He sat down and handed her the bouquet of flowers, kissed her, and said, "Lucy darling, you are still pregnant. You held on to the baby. I cannot tell you how proud I am of you. You are the love of my life. I do not know what I did to deserve you."

He kissed her again, placed his arms on either side of her, and whispered, "React you bitch!"

Lucy reacted alright. She started screaming and hollering, while beating Rory on the chest and head. He took it good-naturedly otherwise he would have killed her.

The technician was looking at them through the large window and so was the chief of police, Archie Bunker. They were both laughing, thinking that the outbreak of hysterics in the room was one of joy upon hearing that the baby was safe.

Rory grabbed Lucy's hands, brought them down to her chest, and asked her, "Is it mine?"

"I knew all men were dumb, but I didn't realize they were all stupid at the same time. We've been going out for three months. The only thing I want to know is how you beat my birth control pills."

"That doesn't bother me. I just want to know if you want to get married. I've told you often enough I love you. Do you love me enough to give me a chance?"

"Yes I do, but what is the Colonel going to say about us working together?"

"Who said anything about you working after this? You're not packing a gun and protecting other people, while you're carrying our child inside you."

There was a knock at the door, and the technician stuck her head in.

"I know this is a happy time for both of you, but I need to do her test because I have others coming up behind her."

"As long as I can have her back when you're finished, you can have her for two minutes."

"I'll see what I can do."

"I'll be outside dear if you need me."

"You better be; I want a milkshake, with pickles." Lucy held onto her flowers during the entire test.

Rory said, "Oh God, it's starting already."

As the technician was doing her work, she said, "Lucy would you like a picture of your little boy?"

"It's a boy? This machine can tell you it's a boy?"

"It's bigger than the Ultrasound Machines doctors have in their office, and it's also more powerful. I would say this little guy is two months old, with all 10 fingers, and all 10 toes. I'll print one out for you so you can see him. How solid is your husband's head?"

"Thicker than concrete."

"Good, then show him this in the hallway. It will save the hospital money on testing its strength."

"I enjoy the way you think."

The technician handed Lucy the picture, and all she could do was gape at it. All it looked like was gray on gray, but you could see the eyes, nose, fingers, toes, and the appendage that signified the sex. Lucy was happy she was lying down, and couldn't wait to see Rory's reaction.

The aide came in the room, assisted her onto the gurney, and rolled her into the hallway. He left her there, while he assisted the next patient into the room.

"Rory would you like to see our child?"

"They could see it already? How can they do that?"

"It's very simple. She stuck her head between my thighs and looked."

"Listen lady, don't start with me. I'll buy you a milkshake without pickles."

"Here, look at this."

Rory took the picture, and started turning it by its corners. Around and around the picture went, and Rory gave no indication he could see anything.

Lucy was getting to the point, where she was going to get off the gurney, and hit him, when Rory said, "I was just fooling around with you, lie down. She's going to be blonde just like her mother." His arms came up to protect his face immediately from flying flowers. Lucy was neither blonde, nor was their child a she.

He put his arms down, and asked for a truce. He leaned over the rail and kissed her, only to hear Paul say, "Dammit Colonel, it's not the money, but how do you always know?"

"Paul how many men do you know that come to work in the morning smelling of the same perfume as a particular woman, or their clothes reeking of the same fabric softener.

Then there is always that old Shakespearean line that goes something like, "I think the woman doth protest too much." Every time she is close to him or has to do something with him, she always complains.

"How far along is she Rory?"

"We just found out, how did you know?"

"Tell them Paul."

"My dear Colonel not only bet me $2000 that you two were an item, but he gave me 5 to 1 odds that Lucy was pregnant. I couldn't pass that up. I figured I might lose the first half of the bet, but there was no way that Lucy would get knocked up. I now owe the Colonel $12,000."

"I owe half my wealth to my bets with Paul."

"So you had no idea Lucy was pregnant until I told you."

"Nope not a clue. However, you didn't answer my question, how far along is she?"

"She is eight weeks gone sir."

"Lucy, you are on desk duty from this point on."

"I hate your guts Rory."

"Colonel, Paul, you are invited to our wedding, as soon as we pick a date."

"That is the smartest thing you can do for your son. The son of a one parent home starts out life with a deficiency he can never overcome."

Lucy asked, "How did you know it's a boy?"

"Lucy, I can only be wrong 50 percent of the time."

"Colonel if I had my gun I would be tempted to shoot you."

"Let's get down to business. If anybody sees us talking, I'm looking for the Wheelers. They checked in about three hours ago. Lucy what's your status?"

"I have pain in my right side that will not go away, but other than that I am operational. No headaches, no dizziness, I can walk on my own without any problem. If I can get a hold of the x-rays, I could tell you what's wrong with me. I wouldn't be surprised if I got hurt when my future husband tried to cover me when the second pair of cars came our way."

Lucius said, "That was my fault, I should have had Jack close the road for at least 20 minutes after the initial accident. Sharon would not have been a problem if she woke up, but I never expected two more racecars coming down the same road moments after we left. I was caught bare-assed, without a fallback position. I won't make that mistake again."

"How could you know Colonel? It could've been two minutes later or two hours later, the result would've been the same. The police would've checked the heat of the engines, and both of them would have been ice cold. They would have figured out something was fishy sooner or later, and now the police are on our side."

"Explain that one to me Rory."

"They allowed me to go into the blood lab while they were testing my blood. I was with the Chief of Police, Archie Bunker, and the District Attorney, El James, and I played it up to the hilt, about the baby. After they finished testing my blood, and it came out super clean, they went to test Lucy's, and I told them I would sign a paper giving them the right to shoot me if they found anything in her blood that wasn't supposed to be there. Naturally, there wasn't, and then they ran two other tests, at my request, because I wanted to know if the baby made it through the accidents. I fully expected a negative readout, and I was prepared to cry. When they handed me the result, and it was positive, I was ready to cry. When I didn't say anything El yelled at me, "Dammit man, say something."

I said, "According to your test she still pregnant and went into a song and dance about how happy everyone is going to be. All the while I was wondering how I was going to tell her she was pregnant and get her to be happy about it instead of wanting to kill me, because I was probably the father, and she was on the pill. It was a very interesting conundrum."

"Getting back to the police, the District Attorney and I are probably on a first name basis for ever at this point. He knows what we were doing in that particular position, why we were there, about the broken GPS, and everything we were doing that evening. Sharon won't be able to talk about any of it, unless she remembers coming around that turn. After saying our numbers, and running them against hers, we are going to have the upper hand in that accident. The other two adolescents that came around that turn afterwards, are up shit's creek also, because they came around it side by side, and there is no defense for that type of driving on a single lane road at that speed."

"Very good Rory, I want you two to set up residence here for at least the next two months. Lucy I want you to play up that injury on your right side, and pains in your legs. No neck or head pain, unless you really feel it. Any spinal discomfort, you get yourself back to the hospital immediately.

Find the finest OB/GYN in town. Listen to his advice, and follow his instructions.

Open an account in a bank, and advise them that a large deposit will be made to it from an out-of-state bank. They are to call you as soon as it comes so you can make the appropriate disbursements.

Do not buy a car. The insurance company on your last vehicle will pay you in full very shortly. One of William's attorneys will contact you to handle your court cases. Do not worry about your background checks. Both of you are Army brats, and you know how difficult it can be getting information out of the military, especially now, during times of congressional sequestration, when civilian support staff has been cut to the bone. For the time being, Lucy, you were born in Berlin. Rory, you were born at Subic Bay.

I'm going to leave this attaché case with you. It has $200,000 in it. When you go to the bank, put $150,000.00 in a money market, and $50,000 checking account. When the other deposit comes, instructions will come with it."

"Yes sir. Is there anyone in particular you want me to get in touch with here, or become friendly with?"

"When the deposit hits, your friendly banker will do that for you."

"Yes sir."

122. Confusion

"Doctor Thyme, this is William in the parts department. We just opened a couple of boxes with very confusing names on them, and no codes directing them to a specific construction area. I spoke to Doctor Luck about it and he told me to ship them back to the vendor. I wanted to check with you, because he has been out of contact with everyone for a long time due to his illness."

"What do the invoices say William?"

"Milli-Band Assembly: Boxes 1-8."

"Did you open any of them?"

"Yes Doctor, we opened box 1. Inside was a wiring guide and at least 600 feet of shielded wire with wiring bolts, and connectors. It told us nothing."

"Send them back William."

"Yes sir, I'll begin repackaging them immediately."

I said just loud enough for my son-in-law to hear, "Idiot."

"Did you say something dad?"

"Why did something slip out of my mouth?"

"You said the word idiot."

"I would never call you an idiot Gray, unless you were sending back your Millimeter Band Radar to the manufacturer, instead of installing it onto the Mickey Mouse ears of our spacecraft"

"I hate you dad. You let me walk right into that one with my eyes wide open."

"It was almost as good as the days where you were chasing Gordon all around the lab. I think you should call William and tell him to start unpacking those boxes and tell him where to put them."

"I have someplace for him to put them, but you might object."

"Son, after some of the things they've put up there, I wouldn't be surprised if those boxes fit. Just give them to Hannah, and she'll figure out a way to do it."

"Dad, you are insane, but the best father-in-law, and scientist I have ever known."

"Thank you Gray, I take a special joy hearing that coming from you. How is motor mouth coming along?"

"Which one dad: Delicious, Newton, or Teddy?"

"That's true; you do have a problem in that department now. Let's start at the top of the food chain, and work down. How is the big motor mouth doing?"

"Teddy is talking a blue streak. After she passed dada and mama there was nothing to stop her from talking. She is almost a year old, and she's talking in baby sentences. She tells Delicious when she has to go to the bathroom, and when she's hungry. It's hysterical, when she gets them confused. She'll run to the bathroom, while Delicious is walking towards the kitchen. By the time, Delicious gets to the kitchen, and realizes Teddy is in the bathroom trying to rip her diaper off. She still finds it easier to talk to Newton telepathically, rather than verbally, but he scolds her, and tells her she'll never learn to speak properly unless she uses the words out loud. She knows how to play checkers, and she's good at it. She watches Newton and I playing chess and understands it. I made a bad move a few weeks ago, and she shouted out, "Blunder!" I said thank you Teddy. She said, "You welcome." I wanted to kill her.

Newton is as happy as a clam, now that his mother and I are getting along. The three of us talk about what happened any time he wants, and sometimes when we see that unsettled look on his face, we ask him to join us in our conversations. He has led an idyllic life, being with like-minded children and family nearly all of it. He has never seen adults act like Delicious and I did. It's going to take him a little while to understand that these things happen, and why. I don't think the pediatric psychologist helped him that's why we decided to stop his visits. He's more comfortable with us, and talking with us, either one-on-one or together. He's a very bright boy, and we both love him very much. The best part about it is he knows it, and he's happy about it."

Delicious is out of her mind, in a very good way. She goes over and over the data from our first flight trying to find something that went wrong. She gets so angry when she can't find anything that went wrong. She looks at me and yells, "Something should have malfunctioned, but nothing did. That's not normal." I hide behind a wall and yell, "Neither are you." For the next few minutes, she'll chase me around the house, calling me all sorts of names, until I let her catch me. Then I'll throw her on the floor, and start kissing her until she surrenders. She's been surrendering a lot lately."

"Is that's why she smiling at work?"

"She is smiling at home too."

"Good work Gray, keep it up."

"It's not that hard to keep it up with your daughter around, dad."

"What are you two old men talking about?"

"Dad and I were talking about the days were I used beat the crap out of you at work."

"That's funny, I don't recall any of those days."

"Gordon, be good, or you will spend all night practicing with Monty, instead of playing with Zoie. I could arrange that for you if you want."

"When did you become so mean dad?"

"I think it was when you became smarter than I am."

"No one is smarter than you are dad. Everyone listens to you. Then they go off and use what they've learned from you, to invent something new using that knowledge. I've done it, so has Gray. Most of the scientists in this room have expanded our knowledge of the universe by listening and learning from you. All you have to do is look at the learning output for the time you weren't here. Even though everyone was working hard to pick up the slack left by your absence, the learning curve was down, even though our output was higher. There were no new patents filed while you were not here. Two months after you returned, we filed five new patents. That has to show you the confidence we all have in you."

"Do you see what I mean Gray? You can't even yank on his chain without getting a lecture on how good I am."

"Dad, when I yank on his chain, the only thing that happens is he goes into his monkey dance."

"It's not a monkey dance. It's a baboon showing indifference for an invader."

"Wait until I tell the baboons about that; they will be insulted."

"Let's go outside Gray, I've wanted to knock your head off for a long time."

"Wait one minute boys, I have to get you a referee."

I took out my cell phone and called our buildings operator.

"Hello, can you get Monty on the phone for me please, this is Doctor Luck."

Gordon yelled, "Dad, I'll do anything please don't tell her."

"What don't you want me to tell her Gordon? You don't want me to tell Monty that what she's been training you to use as a method of self-defense, you want to use to beat the crap out of Gray. Isn't that what you said you wanted to do?"

"I wasn't going to hurt him, too badly."

Moments later, He felt her presence behind him.

I asked, "What's wrong Gordon, do you have a frog in your throat?"

"No dad, shortly someone's going to have her hands around my throat, and begin squeezing until her fingers meet. Hello Monty, please don't kill me."

"Would you explain to me why I shouldn't kill you, you obnoxious little turd?"

"Our argument got a little overheated, and my mouth lost its' temper."

"Doctor Luck is this moron necessary for the operation of this building today?"

"Yes dad I am I'm in the middle..."

"Monty, he's all yours, and the ice machine is full."

"That's good to know sir, because he's going to need a lot of it."

"Dad, I'm not kidding. My experiment is seven weeks old. I've put a lot of work in it. I don't want to see it ruined. Please, can I stay alive for one more millennium?"

"No, I'm sort of an 'In the moment type of guy.' I like to see punishment meted out as soon as possible after the insult is given. I will move over to your desk and keep an eye on it for you."

"It would be much better if I did it, dad."

"Monty would you take that whining, terror filled little boy out of here, and teach him how to control his mouth, by controlling his brain."

"I haven't looked forward to anything like this in months Doctor. I think I'll have Steve help me."

"Steve, I'm not ready for Steve. He'll wipe the floor up with me."

"In that case, you won't have to clean it up after our exercise period is over. You get a bonus, before you get an ice bath. "

"Dad, I'm sorry. Gray I apologize. Don't let her do this to me. I won't be able to use my arms for a month. I may have to crawl to work. This is not going to be fun. Me and my big mouth."

Monty grabbed him by his belt, and lifted. She marched him down the aisle towards the exit. The scientists, assistants, and technicians stopped what they were doing, stood up, and applauded Gordon as he tiptoed past them.

They shouted, "Have fun Monty. It's been nice Gordon. Make sure he can't sit down tomorrow, or for the next month." All sorts of nice things were hurled at Gordon until he made it outside the security doors.

"You have a lot of friends in their Gordon, don't you?"

"Yes, we are all very friendly, and we would do anything for one another."

"Why didn't it sound that way to me?"

"I don't know, but we often joke around with one another that way."

Gray asked, "Dad should we give him a break?"

"Yes, just tell Monty which limb you want broken, and she will take care of it for you."

I opened my cell phone and called home.

"Hello honey, what's happening at work?"

"I just sat down at Gordon's desk to watch over one of his experiments."