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Talia's hands weren't idle, softly stroking the exposed part of his shaft and lightly running her nails across his ball sack. When she felt it start to tighten, she stopped moving, staring at her lover until he lifted his head to meet her eyes. She winked at him, then lowered her head again. This time, when he ran into her throat, she kept going. He groaned softly as his cock was forced into her throat, until her nose pressed into his pubis. She swallowed, and the rippling feeling travelling down his shaft set him off. The first pulse of cum went straight down her neck and she moaned in pleasure, which in turn drew a louder moan from Alex. She withdrew, her hand resuming its position and pumped him as she held his head in her mouth. When he had nearly finished, she took him out of her mouth and kissed the tip; the last couple of strands splashed over her cheek and ran down to her chin.
Alex looked down at the gorgeous elf in front of him with unadulterated lust in his eyes. She blushed and her ears fluttered under his attention. She turned her head away and smiled shyly as a long finger scooped the cum on her face into the corner of her mouth, where she swallowed it audibly. He extended a hand and pulled her into a tight hug.
"There is no way," he said, squeezing her, "There is no way I was ever good enough in a previous life to deserve you. I'd say I must have been a saint, but I'm having some pretty unsaintly thoughts right now."
She giggled, and the two of them made their way over to the bed. They curled up naked together, and he made some of those thoughts reality.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 4 years agoI was halfway through this chapter before I realized that I wouldn't be seeing what I hoped I'd see.
From where I'm standing, Murray isn't behaving like a modern-battlefield military officer at all. He was too quick to put himself under that general's leadership, and he's already behaving like he has completely accepted his position among the outcasts. He doesn't even ask for any tactical info like any special operations soldier would do - and you did say that mech soldiers were special.
So, basically, it's definitely not the setting I had hoped for. From one point I could understand - I could view it as him trying to find a way to first find a safe harbor to heal, and then to use them for intel in order to get into contact with his squadmate, Anna - but he doesn't really do that, and there could have been much better ways in which this could have been achieved. Becoming a part of a medieval fantasy army is not the way to do it, and frankly it's just not my cup of tea. It's even worse when you include the band of Tolkienesque misfits.
If you had wanted him to interact with other species, then you should have done it differently. It would have been a billion times better if it wasn't a large lordly army, but a multi-species mercenary company a couple hundred people strong. The company could have been a bunch of professionals who accepted all kinds of strange and exotic specialists, and thus Murphy would have fitted in much better, and many more interesting opportunities and roads could be opened. What I'm getting here instead is a social-justice-warrior vibe, which is frankly making my stomach twist.
As for sex, it came on way too sudden. It was just a sudden jump-in-the-sack with no buildup, and the only explanation that is given is "well, it's magic, and now I'm bound to you." I'm sorry, but that's just lazy writing. With Anna, there had at least existed history between them and as far as anyone was concerned, they could have hit the sack in the very first chapter and it wouldn't feel weird. With this elf girl there was nothing.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoI really like the story but I must have missed how the main character is able to communicate with aliens. Does everyone in the universe speak English?
JC_The_Continuerover 7 years agoTad to fast.
by this I mean that your springing to muscle points of plot to quickly and not enough detail is going into the skin itself.
think abou thte underlying plot as the bones, then you fill that in with filler points, like a sex scene or a fight, that would be the muscle. that's the part everyone really enjoys and its what makes a good story line into a good story. what makes it great is changing the details of the skin. more details on that, moving between fight to sex to history. bring in the scenery, bring in the smell of the air the humidity in the air. stuff like that.
if you need an editor then i'd be happy to consult
JC
Anonymousover 7 years agoVery well done. Just added another shortcut to my desktop. No pressure but I suspect this story will win awards. (Best new author?) I placed it in the third spot of stories to follow. Very enjoyable. I normally reread the previous chapter to get my head back into the story and enjoyed the second reading (of the first posting) more than I did the first time around.
