TJ Ch. 10

"I just want some answers. First, why didn't you erase any of his pictures or messages? I trust you. I promise, I do. But seeing you still have every picture he sent you, so you can look at any time you want, puts a little voice of doubt in my head. I hate it's there, but it is.

"Second, why didn't you tell him to stop flirting with you and stop sending you pictures after Christmas? It's obvious from the messages that's when you lost interest. I know you didn't encourage him, but you didn't stop him either.

"Finally," I had to swallow a lump in my throat when my eyes started stinging, "why are you allowing him to say shit about me to you like he does. It fucking hurts, Sean. For two weeks, you've let him call me hateful names and say tons of shit about me and you haven't said anything to him. You know I would never, NEVER, let anyone say anything remotely nasty about you. Even if I didn't have proof and it was only he said, she said, he said bullshit. I would confront anyone who supposedly said anything about you. However, you have proof and you haven't said a word. And that's because you've been too...I don't know, whatever your reason for burying your head in the sand."

"What are you talking about Teej? John hasn't said anything to me about you. Hell, I haven't even talked to him for the past two weeks. What have I been burying my head in the sand about?"

I handed him his phone.

"Read the fucking messages he's sent over the past two weeks. They are all marked as read. So either you've read the messages and haven't said anything about them by choice, which if that's the case I'm gone, or you've been ignoring him, hoping the problem will go away. I want you to know, I'll believe whatever you tell me. Just please be honest with me. But right now, between the pictures of him on your phone and the messages he's sent, I just don't know."

Sean opened his messaging app as soon as I handed him his phone and was reading the messages from the past two weeks while I spoke. From his reaction, he's either an extremely talented actor or what he told me next was the truth. At first, I heard sharp intakes of breath, the occasional, "What the fuck?" and then, "I'm going to kick his fucking ass." When he read the last message, he threw his phone. I guess between the fact he threw it with his left arm and he really didn't throw it very hard, it landed at the foot of his bed. He awkwardly scooted over so he could sit in front of me. He reached out his left arm and pulled me into a tight, one-armed hug. There wasn't anger in his eyes when he finally looked up at me. They were filled with tears, fear, and regret.

"I'm so sorry, Teej. I swear to anything and everything I can I didn't know what they said. I thought he was just sending me flirty texts and I honestly never considered deleting them. Everyone has a weird, quirky thing they do. I like to keep all my messages, emails, voicemails, chats, and any other kind of communication I get from someone. Look in my closet, there's a box on the top shelf in the back right corner. Can you get it out for me?"

I did what he asked and brought the box to him. It was an old stand-mixer box I could tell was filled with papers. I sat on the bed next to him and he opened the box. Inside was full of old birthday cards, letters, Valentine's Day cards, and little hand-written notes. As he went through them, he handed them to me. It looked like he had every birthday card anyone gave him from when he was five till now. There were some letters written by his grandfather, telling him about El Paso and everything going on out there. He explained his grandfather always told him sending someone a letter was more personal than just calling them. Some of the notes were little one-line, hand-written things like "Ran to town, lunch is in the fridge, be back around 2:00. Love, Mom." His eyes watered when he saw those.

There was even a cute little note from a girl that said, "Amber thinks you're cute. Do you like her to?" He told me Jenny gave it to him in the second grade. He said she gave it to him while Amber was trying to hide around the corner. Castro read the note over his shoulder and Sean said neither knew how to react. He said he told Jenny to tell Amber he thought she was nice and they could be friends. Castro then made fun of him by singing "Sean and Amber sitting in a tree."

After we went through some of the box, he showed me his phone. His messaging app had incoming texts from the day he got his phone till now.

"You see, I can't bring myself to throw anything in this box away; so, I've never thought about deleting messages from my phone. I let the phone delete old ones when new ones arrive automatically, so I don't have to do it myself. You're right, I was trying to ignore John, hoping he would stop texting and the thread would eventually be lost in the list of old messages. I wouldn't have to think about it again. I stopped reading his texts after the party at your place the other night. So, I promise you, I had no idea the shit he was saying. Right now, I think I would kick his ass if I saw him.

"That answers two of your questions. Honestly, I'm not proud of the answer to the last one. Part of the reason I didn't ask him to stop flirting and sending pics is because I liked feeling wanted. The other part is because," he paused, took a deep breath, and sighed, "I didn't want to cut off the opportunity for maybe hooking up with him when he came to town. I hate how it sounds and I know it's pathetic, but, I'm a teenager who likes sex now I've had it and I didn't know any other gay guys my age. He was gay, wanted me, and would be available. Now that I've said it out loud, I feel like a pig."

"Hey, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing", I chuckled.. "Between you and me, the only reason I totally cut off everything with Scott, even after knowing about Kim, was because I was moving down here. If I had stayed up there, I know I would have eventually gotten over it and listen to what he wanted to tell me. The sex was good. I get what you're saying. But, just so you know, neither of them is a possibility for either of us. You're mine just as much as I'm yours for as long as you want me."

He smiled at me and drew me down to lay next to him. He placed a kiss on my forehead. "I." A kiss to my left cheek. "Love." A kiss to my right cheek. "You." A kiss to my lips that lasted for a few moments. "So much. I ran out of places to kiss before I ran out of words."

I laughed and pulled him closer to me. We started making out and I'm not sure how long we were at it. We finally pulled apart when someone cleared their throat. Josh stood in the doorway grinning at us.

"I guess y'all talked everything out and it's okay now, huh? You've been up here talking for almost an hour."

Sean looked at Josh, blushing a little.

"I forgot you were coming too Little Buddy. Sorry I've been a shitty host."

"Don't worry about it. I sat downstairs, did my homework, and listened for any signs of yelling or cussing from up here. I was making sure that one," he pointed to me, "didn't lose his shit. You know how irrational he gets. Everything is okay, right?"

"Hey," I exclaimed, "I don't get irrational. I'm just an emotional person."

"Teej, remember a few weeks ago you accused Dad of basically stalking you after he switched your schedule around?"

Sean looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "What? What's he talking about?" I could tell he was trying not to smile.

"Robert told me he switched my schedule around before school started and I might have said something about him trying to keep tabs on me, so he knows what I'm doing all day. Josh pointed out the fact all he would have to do is tap my name into his computer and know where I was anytime during the day." I turned to Josh. "That wasn't being irrational, it was jumping to conclusions."

"Yeah, from not thinking things through like a normal, rational person would."

"Shouldn't Kevin be here soon? Why don't you go wait for him in his room or something?"

Josh, the little shit he is sometimes, laughed and came into the room.

"But bubba, I wanna spend time with you and Sean. Please." He smiled one of his patented dimpled smiles he knew would win me over. I'm such a fucking sucker for his dimples. They are almost the cutest thing in the world. They make me want to grab each cheek in both hands and pinch the shit out of them.

The three of us sat on Sean's bed for a few minutes until we heard the doorbell ring. I told Sean I would go get it, but he stopped me and said, "I think I want to go downstairs and lay on the couch for a while. I've slept almost all day." He grabbed his phone and the three of us headed down.

Josh and Sean headed for the living room while I answered the door. Aaron stood on the front porch in his uniform and I didn't think about anything until he finally chuckled.

"Are you going to let me in, or stare at me open-mouthed all evening? You better be careful, there's a bit of drool on your shirt."

I shook my head. "Sorry, I spaced out for a second?" It sounded more like a question than an excuse. He laughed louder, and I stepped aside.

Sean heard his uncle laughing and yelled, "Teej, who's there?"

I walked into the living room with Aaron right behind me.

"This pig. He was standing on the porch looking all Aaron-in-his-uniform-like and you know how I get." I turned to Aaron winked and asked, "When are you going to let Sean borrow your uniform, so I can take it off him? Actually, I think I'd rather him leave it on and we can work around it. You might not get it back in the same condition, unless you're willing to wait till we get it dry cleaned."

Aaron and Josh laughed while Sean sighed. "Dammit Teej. You cannot fantasize about my uncle when we have sex."

"Fine, whatever. Come on in and have a seat if you can find one. Lazy-bones thinks he has to take up the whole fucking couch, leaving everyone else to fend for the two-seater loveseat or the chair."

"I'm supposed to be resting and recuperating. I'm an injured man. Besides, aren't you supposed to be helping me or some shit or do I need to tell my dad to fire you and hire me a sexy new nurse? Hey, do you think we can order you a sexy nurse costume? That would be hot."

I went to the couch and sat on the edge next to him. I glared his way and muttered, "Asshole."

Aaron asked if Kevin was home yet and when we told him no, he looked at his watch. "Do you know when he should be here? I'm on a break and wanted to let him know something."

Josh looked at the time and said, "He should be here in about ten minutes or so. What's going on? Is everything okay?"

Aaron sat in the chair. "Everything's fine. It's something I need to talk to him about."

We sat around talking for about fifteen minutes. Kevin walked through the door. His hair was slightly damp, looking like he just got out of the shower. Aaron stood up and walked over to him. "Hey Kevin. I need to speak to you for a sec. We can do it in here or we can go in the kitchen. It's something about your dad's case."

Kevin sounded a little apprehensive when he said, "Okay. I think in here is fine. Is everything okay? I haven't heard anything about what's going on."

"Everything's fine. The DA's office knows you're staying here with my brother, so they asked if I would come by and see if you wouldn't mind going to their office and answering some questions for them. You know he's been charged. Now they're building a case against him."

Kevin looked relieved, but there was still a hint of fear in his.

"Am I going to have to testify in court or something?"

Aaron shrugged. "I can't answer that. All I know is they want to ask you some questions. I would suggest asking Mr. Landrum to go with you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind doing it and that way you have someone who knows the law to help you."

"Do you think I'll need him? I don't know why."

"They're going to ask you to give a statement. The defense will be given a copy of the statement. We want to make sure there's nothing in the statement the defense could use to help their case, even if unintentional. Also, the defense may issue a subpoena to Jacob to bring you down and answer their questions too. The DA doesn't want to subpoena you, they would rather you come in voluntarily. So it wouldn't hurt to ask him. Anyways, my break's over. I'll talk to y'all later." He handed Kevin a business card. "Just give them a call and set up a meeting. Bye."

Kevin looked shell-shocked after Aaron left. Josh walked over to him and grabbed his hand. "Hey Big-guy. you doing alright? You want to sit on the loveseat with me? Come on."

Kevin followed Josh to the loveseat where Josh forced him to sit first. Josh situated himself so he was sitting in Kevin's lap, looking straight into his eyes. "Talk to me, please. What's going through your head?"

Kevin looked at us and then at the clock. "Do you mind if I wait till Mr. McNair gets home? I don't want to discuss everything I'm thinking twice. Will your dad mind if y'all don't go home yet?"

I pulled out my phone to call Robert. I let him know what was going on, and that Kevin wanted Josh to be there. He asked if we were going to stay for dinner, so I asked Sean what he thought. Sean cursed.

"I don't even know what we're eating for dinner yet. For the past few weeks, Kevin or I would make dinner for the three of us before Dad got home. He'll be here in a few minutes. Hopefully, he thought to grab something on the way."

Robert overheard this and laughed.

"Lori and I will grab a few pizzas and head over. Let Jacob know we're coming over with dinner and we can all sit down and help Kevin. I told him I would be there for him, and I plan on keeping to that promise. Has he called Patrick Landrum yet?" I told him no, and he continued. "I'll call him and ask if he's willing to take Kevin on pro bono. I think he will. We'll be there in about 15 minutes. Lori's ordering the pizzas now."

I hung up and relayed the news to the rest of the group. About five minutes later, Jacob came in through the garage door. He looked in the kitchen and then at all of us sitting in the living room.

"Hey, I guess I didn't think about dinner. I'll be right back with something for us. Are Josh and TJ joining us?"

Kevin spoke up. "Actually, Mr. Kennedy and Ms. Simmons, Lori, are on their way over with pizzas. There's something I need to talk about and I want everyone's opinions on what they think I should do."

"Alright, is everything okay?"

"Everything is okay right now. I just have some things on my mind and some other things I need to make decisions about."

"Alright, son. I'll run and change and be back in a second."

He left the room. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. I told everyone I would get it, thinking it was Robert. I opened the door to find Mr. Landrum standing there wearing shorts and a polo shirt.

"Mr. Landrum, we didn't expect to see you tonight. I guess you spoke to Robert."

"Yeah, Teej," a voice from behind him said, "I called him and filled him in on most of what's going on and he agreed to come speak with Kevin and Jacob."

I moved out of the doorway to let Mr. Landrum, Robert, and Lori into the house. Jacob entered the living room the same time we walked in from the foyer. When he saw Mr. Landrum, he shook his hand.

"Patrick, this is a surprise. What's going on? Kevin, are you sure everything's okay?"

"Why doesn't everyone grab some pizza and meet up back in here and I'll explain everything."

We all agreed and five minutes later, we were all gathered in the living room. Jacob and Mr. Landrum sat on the couch, Robert and Lori sat on the loveseat, Kevin and Josh sat on the floor, and finally, Sean sat in the chair with me sitting on the floor between his legs. Kevin relayed them everything Aaron had told us. When he finished, Jacob asked him what he wanted to do.

Kevin looked lost for a second, so I leaned.

"Just tell us everything you're thinking right now. Talk it out. We're all here for you, bub."

Kevin nodded and began.

"I haven't really thought about my dad much in the past few weeks. You know, since my mom left, it's just been the two of us. He took care of me the best he could, but that doesn't make him a good father. He was always drinking and insulting people. Always telling me I had to strive to be the best. I couldn't be second-best at anything. Sports, school, it didn't matter. If I wasn't the best, I needed to practice more or study more. If I failed at something, he would yell and call me a stupid failure. If someone got past me on the field, I was a slow-assed, pansy faggot." He chuckled and continued. "That was one of his favorite words when I was growing up. Kind of ironic, huh?

"I knew he wasn't a good dad, but he never physically abused me, so I never said anything. I know emotional and psychological abuse exist, but they're always hard to prove. I never really let him get to me too much. I'm a good student and a good player. Besides, it's kind of hard to get past someone my size." We all laughed. "Uncle Ronnie knew how my dad acted and would always ask me if everything was okay at home. I never lied to him and it caused a few fights between them. I heard him and my dad arguing a lot about how he was drinking too much and how he pushed me too hard sometimes.

"When he showed up that night, I was scared shitless of my dad for the first time. I think he wanted to kill me. Why else would he bring a gun? He got shot that night. I know y'all knowthat, you were there with me. My dad got shot because he refused to drop his gun, saying he wouldn't leave without his faggot-ass son, so he could 'beat the fag out of him.' Now, I'm going to have to tell the DA all of this. I will possibly have to talk to the sleazy defense lawyers, and maybe testify in court. Actually, if I know my dad, he'll hold out for a good plea deal. I'm afraid what's going to happen when he gets out and he knows I'm the one whose statement put him there. In his mind, I know he thinks he's innocent. He should be able to raise his kid the way he wants, and the government shouldn't interfere with that. I know the right thing to do is go to the DA and give my statement, but part of my mind is telling me to wait for the subpoena, so I can tell him I had no choice."

He turned to Mr. Landrum. "I can't afford to pay for your services, and don't want to ask Mr. McNair for any money. I have some in my savings, I can pay a little. Can you give me some legal advice?"

Mr. Landrum shook his head. "I'm not taking one damn penny from you or Jacob. I make plenty of money off my clients, ask Robert. I'm going to help you out pro bono. I agree with Aaron, I think you should voluntarily speak to the DA's office. If the defense wants to interview you , we'll make them subpoena you. I will be present for both meetings to make sure everything goes smoothly. I want to help you out. And don't think of this as charity. I like to do pro bono work sometimes. It feels nice to give back after I take so much from my normal billing hours." He winked at Robert.

Robert laughed and responded, "You're nothing but a dirty thief."

Kevin looked like a weight had been taken off his shoulders and he visibly relaxed. After a few more minutes of talking, Mr. Landrum asked to speak to Robert outside before he left. He said goodbye, and he and Robert walked outside.

Sean and Lori started talking and I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but they were essentially speaking right over my head. She asked him how he was doing and when he told her he was alright, she told him to cut the bullshit and be honest. He looked down at me, and said, "Actually, there's something I need to do. I need to make a phone call, I'll be right back. Teej, will you come with me?"