Too Close for Comfort B

"Grant, I'm so sorry," I said. "Can I please explain?"

"We'll talk later," he said. And then he left the room. I fell asleep once more and when I awoke again I was alone. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I had just started sobbing when the door opened. My mother walked in.

"Oh, you're awake?" she said. "I wasn't expecting that. You've been asleep for three days."

"Three days?" I said. I felt stronger. Whatever they were doing to me must've been working. But the question on my mind was where my husband was.

"You've been in and out of consciousness since I got here," she said.

"Mom, why ARE you here?" I asked.

"Grant needed someone to watch the girls while he was out of town," she said. "Even though we both know that Lilly is more than capable of taking care of herself and probably of taking care of her older sister too. I love those girls. They're my favorite granddaughters."

"Mom they're your only granddaughters," I reminded her.

"So ... they're still my favorites," she said.

"Mom where's Grant?" I asked.

"He went out of town on business," she said. That started me thinking. Grant and I no longer worked in the same area of our company. I worked in the sales division and Grant had moved into marketing. He already began moving up the ladder there. My boss, the Vice President of our division was in charge of both sales and marketing. He mentioned Grant's name several times at the last manager's meeting.

It still seemed unlikely that Grant would have to travel for work though. However, wherever he was I wished that he was with me. But in the meantime, I needed to figure out what I would say to him when he returned.

I drifted off to sleep with those thoughts in my head. When I awoke my mother was still there. She was looking at me as if I was a bug that she wanted to scrape off of her shoe.

"Where did I go wrong?" she asked quietly.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Dahlia, I've been hearing some things that bother me," she began. "None of these people will tell me the whole story. They keep talking about elephant or Hippo or some kind of hospital animal. Whatever it is it means that they won't tell your own mother why the hell you've suddenly been hospitalized," she said. "And I'll tell you something else. I know you and Grant. That man would quit his job before he would go trotting off on business with you in the hospital. So why don't you fill me in on what's going on."

"Mom just let it go," I said.

I felt awful. Thinking back on it, I could break my pain into three different categories of both intensity and importance.

In the Bronze medal position was the pain caused by my mother's disapproving looks. She had been after me for an explanation. Ever since she got to the hospital. I hadn't told her anything. She had gotten her information from the rumors swirling throughout the hospital.

None of the hospital employees would say anything. They'd ne fired for violating the HIPPA rules. But a word here and there, between visitors about the condition of anonymous patients and their reasons for being here, coupled with my mother's ability to put two and two together were informative. Add to that my mother's knowledge of Grant, and she knew everything she needed. In some cases my silence spoke more eloquently than any words could have.

"Why the hell would you ever have an abortion?" she asked. "Your daughters are almost grown women, aren't you a bit old to even be considering having another child?" I said nothing and she continued to push.

"Grant looks like a ballon with all of the air drained out of him," she said. "The funny thing is that from talking to him, I got the idea that he had no idea that you were pregnant. Grant is a damned good father. He loves kids," she continued.

"Mom, drop it," I said.

"The funny thing about all of this isn't the fact that you won't confide in your own mother," she began again. "It's Grant. He has always been the ultimate family man. If you or either one of your daughters was sick, that man would stay home from work and take care of you. It's surprising to me how calm he was about a child of his being terminated. I can only think of two reasons why that would be true."

"Drop it, Mother," I said.

"One reason would be if having the child would threaten your life or your health," she droned on. "But your nurse said that except for complications from the abortion, you're fine. Of course she only told that to another nurse. I just happened to be passing by while they were talking. It's strange that a stranger will tell another stranger more about my own daughter's condition than they'll tell me."

I just glared at her. My mother was far smarter than I gave her credit for. Most older people are good at playing dumb and are usually far wiser than we give them credit for. She'd been acting as if she had information, when all along she had been fishing.

"The only other reason I can think of that Grant wouldn't be upset would be if he thought that he had no say in the matter because the child wasn't his," she said.

That was when I noticed that even though she was giving her words out in that half senile tone that most sixty plus year old women use, my mother's eyes were locked on me with laser-like focus. I tried to keep my face composed and unresponsive. I didn't even allow myself to blink.

"How could you?" she said quietly. "Where did I go wrong? she repeated.

I looked away from her. At that moment I couldn't bear her scrutiny. Everytime she looked at me it felt as if her eyes were lasers and they were cutting me to shreds.

In the silver medal position was the actual physical pain. It was like a dull ache in th pit of my stomach. The drugs and pain killers they were pumping into me had mitigated it down from the mind numbing agony I had felt just before Grant caught me when I fell in our driveway. But even through the drugs I could feel that pain. The drugs took the edge off and blunted it, but I knew that iit's as just out of reach. I knew that if the pain killers stopped, I would be screaming.

By far though, the gold medal winner in the pain sweepstakes was my husband's continuing absence. There had never been a time since we met that Grant and I had been apart. Unless of course you counted my foolish trip to Jamaica. But this was the first time that he had ever left me while I was sick, injured or in any kind of pain.

I lay there pondering what it meant for the future. Did Grant really not love me anymore? Had I hurt him so bad that I no longe mattered to him. I wondered what his absence said about our divorce?

Was the pregnancy just one straw too many? Would Grant go back to court with the new evidence and demand to be freed immediately? I didn't think that he would do that. The reason Grant had agreed to the unusual arrangement for our divorce had nothing to do with me or our relationship. It had everything to do with our daughters, especially Lilly. Rose would be living in her dorm at college for the next four years. She would only be home for the summers. But Lilly was still in the house with us. She was just about to start the most important four years of her life. Grant would never deprive his daughter of family stability during her high school years.

The question was about something that I had come to treasure. I was thinking of the easy way that Grant and I had been spending our evenings. While it was true they hadn't been romantic, they had been much better than I had any right to expect.

Grant had been friendly and very gracious considering how badly I had hurt him. He had also refrained from throwing what I'd done in my face. I'd expected for Grant to treat me well while we were in public, especially around our girls. But he was very nice to me when we were alone as well.

I'd been very encouraged by that. I was sure that with time, I could win him back. For the last few weeks I had been looking at something I once took for granted, as if it was the treasure of the ages.

I'd been fighting for my future. I'd been fighting for my dreams of retiring and spending my later years with my husband. I had four years to accomplish it. I had planned it all out. For the first six months I would just enjoy what we had. I would let Grant's pain diminish before I tried anything. After that I would begin to very slowly win my man back.

He had fallen for me once. I was sure that he could again. And this time, despite the fact that we had my betrayal between us, it should be easier. I already knew everything that he liked and everything that he liked about me.

But my mother couldn't seem to let go of it. What did she want me to do, admit to her that I was a whore and didn't deserve to have my husband and family? Fuck her, I'm a human being. I don be pillaried or thrown on the scrap heap of humanity because I didn't live up to her moral standards.

Since I refused to crucify myself, she just sat there glaring at me and giving me angry looks. I looked away from her and the old lady actually got up and moved her chair to a position where she could look directly in my face and mean mug me some more.

However, right in the middle of one of her nasty looks, Grant swept into the room, like a bolt of sunshine.

"Thanks for watching her for me, Lyla," he said to her. "I'll take it from here."

"I didn't expect you to actually come back, Grant," said my mother. "The good lord knows you have a reason not to have ever come back."

"She made a mistake, Lyla," said Grant. "It's in the past."

Grant took me home a few days later. He waited on me hand and foot. Lilly helped out a lot, but as a teenager, she quickly got bored with the job and left it to her dad except when it was unavoidable.

It took time but I got stronger. After a while I returned to work. My first day back, I had a confrontation with a woman who was sitting at Grant's desk. It got so bad that security had to intervene. I ended up sitting down in the office of my boss, the Vice President of operations.

He explained to me who Veronica was and why she was sitting at Grant's desk. While I was gone the company created several new positions including an assistant director's position. The assistant directors were the level between managers and the Vice Presidents. Basically what he was telling me was that Veronica was my boss.

The next thing he told me was that Grant had done so well in his new department that he had been made an Assistant Director as well. Grant no longer needed his desk in our area and he wouldn't be back there.

The thought that my husband had received a substantial promotion and had not even told me, hurt. But not as much as finding out that a blond bimbo who was at least ten years younger than I was, had just become my boss.

At home, it had taken a while for things to settle down. Grant and I barely spoke unless the kids were around. I did as much as I could to keep Lilly home in the evenings, so I could spend as much time with Grant as possible. Another problem I had was that I felt so much guilt about destroying my marriage that I was eating far too much. I had begun to put on a bit of weight after I stopped running and working out with Grant, but I seemed to be packing on the pounds even faster.

Grant was always up and out of the house as quickly as he could awaken in the morning. So there was little chance of me going out to run with him. When I had mentioned it to him once in passing, he reminded me that it was outside of the parameters of our deal and if I wanted to run, I could always go alone.

My daughters had also noticed the changes in my figure. Rose had rather pointedly commented on it one night at dinner.

"I think she looks great," Grant had told her.

"You're only saying that because her boobs are bigger," said Rose. "Boys always like things like that."

Grant didn't reply. He put his head down and busied himself eating. Over the next few days I did catch him looking at me when he thought I wasn't looking.

I started wearing less and less to bed and walked around the house in just a tank top and shorts or panties when we were alone. He was definitely watching and he was absolutely interested but he never touched me.

When I looked in the mirror, it only confirmed what my daughter had said. I think it was a mixture of the hormones flooding my system during the disastrous pregnancy and my uncontrolled eating. But, I no longer had the body I'd grown used to. My boobs were definitely much bigger and so was my ass. It was huge. My belly had a jiggle to it as well. I almost cried. All the years of running and working out had been erased by a few months of over-eating and an unplanned pregnancy.

My depression worsened daily. I awoke one day and realized that it was my birthday. I rolled over in bed to look at Grant and noticed that he was already gone. I was really hurt. Our custom was to stay home on our birthdays and spend the day together.

We would usually have a morning quickie, then shower together, take the girls to school, and come home to have breakfast and then spend the rest of the day in bed. Usually by the time we picked the girls up, we would both be exhausted. We'd order food or stop by and get something on the way home. Then we would give the birthday person their presents and go to sleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Apparently that was no longer the case. I woke Lilly up and took her to school. She smiled at me, but didn't say anything. I felt like shit. I could understand Grant not caring about my birthday. I had hurt him badly and I was lucky he even spoke to me. But I expected my daughter to care about my birthday.

As she got out of the car she just smiled at me. It was the kind of smile that teenaged girls always give you when they think they know something that you don't. Usually it's only about some stupid singer or a new dance.

My day got worse before it got better. I decided to take Grant to lunch. I drove to the building we worked in and went up to his office. I had never been there before. I got two surprises. The first came as soon as I opened the door with his name on it. I expected to breeze in and see him. It didn't happen. A woman, who wore far too much makeup, stood up quickly and blocked my path from the inner office.

"Where ... do you think you're going?" she asked in a voice so high pitched it was comical. From the tone of her voice and her attitude; I got the impression that the pause in her sentence between "where," and "do," was just long enough for her to have inserted the words "the," followed by "fuck."

I think that she probably wanted to end the sentence with the word, "bitch!" But her professional decorum had prevented her from doing either of those things.

"I came to see Grant," I said. "It's okay. I work here." She looked down her long nose at my jeans and sweatshirt.

"Is this business or ... something else?" she asked suspiciously.

"I think with me, it's always going to be something else," I said. "I'm his wife."

Her expression changed and she bit her tongue trying to offer me coffee and juice and fruit. "He's in there," she pointed. "It's his office. He's having a meeting."

My second surprise came when I got near the office and heard the sound of a woman laughing loudly. I recognized the voice instantly. It was that bitch, Veronica. There was no way I would let her steal Grant from me. I stormed into the office and almost made a fool of myself.

Beside Grant and Veronica there were two other men in the office. Veronica looked up at me when I walked on.

"Dahlia, I thought you were taking the day off," she said. "I'll be back in the office in about an hour. We're trying to brainstorm ideas for those cost cutting moves the big bosses want. Can whatever you need wait until then?"

"Actually, I came to take my husband to lunch," I said. Veronica looked shocked.

"Dahlia, I'm not taking a lunch today," said Grant. "I'm working through it so I can leave early." My face fell and my disappointment must have been really apparent.

Even though I had given him every reason to hate me, Grant refused to let me suffer. "Dahlia, I'm leaving early so I can take you and the girls out for your birthday," he said. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

My face lit up the room after that. "If you open the box in the bottom of my closet, you'll find the first of your presents," he continued. I kissed him and then took off for home. I didn't want anyone especially Veronica to see me crying.

For the first time in a long time I actually had hope as well. If he still cared about my birthday, he had to still care about me just a little bit too.

I went home and found the box. Inside was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. All I could think about was how much I loved Grant.

A few hours later Grant came home. He brought both Lilly and Rose with him. Boy was I surprised. Seeing Lilly was normal, but Rosie was supposed to be on campus almost a hundred miles away.

The girls got dressed up and so did Grant, but they were unprepared for the sight of me in my new dress. Obviously, Grant had picked it out. It was cut lower than anything I had ever owned before. It was also very tight around the waist and very tight across the ass as well. I didn't care. If the dress was what Grant wanted to see me in, I would wear it to church. There was also a tiny, "above the waist," jacket that came with the dress. I put it on to keep my boobs from spilling out of the dress. I think it was the only thing that did.

Grant took us to my favorite restaurant. It was the same one where he had proposed to me. It was also the place where I summoned the courage and told him that I was pregnant the first time.

Grant had ordered for both of us, while the girls picked out what they wanted. He did the same thing he used to do when we were younger. When we couldn't decide between equally good meals, we each ordered one and then sampled each other's plates. He ordered the lobster for me and the steak for himself. We shared bites of each other's food as the girls rolled their eyes at us.

As much as he seemed to like it, Grant fed me the last bite of his steak then he handed me a box. I nervously opened it and lost my breath. It was the most beautiful diamond pendant I had ever seen.

I took off my jacket and asked Grant to put it on me. He stood behind me and his hands were shaking so much that he was having trouble with the clasp. I looked up and noticed that he was staring down my dress at my tits. The thought of Grant being turned on by me, after all of this time, really turned me on. I lifted my arms and took his hands in mine. Raising my arms lifted my boobs and gave him an even better view.

As Grant sat back down, I pushed my shoulders back which only emphasized my breasts even more. The diamond suspended in my cleavage, nestled between my breasts, and glittered brightly, sparkling every time light hit it.

"Really Mom?" said Rose. "What were you thinking, leaving the house in that dress? You look like you were poured into it. And some parts of you are trying to escape. Obviously, Dad picked it. But why would you wear it?" She turned her fury on her father then.

"Daddy, you know she's picked up some weight lately. What were you thinking buying her a dress like that?" she asked.

"I don't remember what I was thinking at the time, but right now the only thing I'm thinking about is how much I would love to be that necklace," he said. Rose clamped her lips together angrily.

"Rosie, your mom isn't a school girl anymore," he said. "She's a sexy mature woman. She isn't supposed to be bone thin. Men love curves. I love her body."

Hearing my husband say that he loved my body and calling me sexy was the best part of a perfect birthday.

When we got home, Rose drove back to school and Lilly like most fourteen year olds barricaded herself in her room with her iPod and her computer. I don't think she would have realized it if a herd of elephants had paraded down the hallway.