Total Destruction

With the money from our settlements, Myra and I started our own engineering consulting company. We would provide administration and engineering expertise. Within six months, we had five people working for us, travelling the country and helping out on large engineering projects.

What was surprising was that one of our first clients was Peter Pembrook. He took both Myra and I out to dinner and apologised to us. Once everything came out, he understood that we had all been played, admitting that the project almost failed without my engineering skills coordinating the delivery. After that, every year, Myra and I got an invite to any significant Pembrook event regardless of whether we were working on their projects. Peter was a good guy, put in a bad situation and wanted to make amends.

We also sold Myra's little home and bought a much larger house not too far down the road with an amazing view of Kings Park. It was an older five-bedroom, three-bathroom home, and we spent over two years restoring the place. It was a fun time. We only took breaks for some family holidays, to get married and for the birth of Grace and Tilly's little brother, Byron.

Life was better, I still had some bad dreams now and then, but Myra was my rock and was there any time I needed her.

Over a decade later, Byron was now a precocious ten-year-old. Tilly was at university following in the footsteps of Aunt Regan, studying to become a lawyer. And it was one lazy Saturday afternoon, Grace and John were sitting with us on the front deck of our home overlooking Kings Park, Byron was playing x-box with my seven-year-old grandson Bruce, and they were trying to ignore my five-year-old granddaughter, Hope, when Grace brought up her mother.

"Dad, I got a letter from mum this week," she said casually but cautiously. Kelly wasn't a taboo topic around the house, but everyone proceeded with caution when they mentioned her. I had received a few letters from Kelly over the years and had even visited her a few times. I knew she was in therapy, and she had a little community within the prison. Even though she still had eight years on her sentence, she was well respected as a model prisoner.

"What did she have to say?" I asked.

"Among other things, she let me know that she got the news that Roger was released last month," Grace said as everything went quiet. I quietly sipped the Kraken and coke I was drinking.

"Last month?" I asked, concerned.

I felt Myra's hand on mine suddenly.

"Did she say anything else?" Myra asked Grace.

Grace nodded. "Yeah, she said that he came to see her. Mum says he didn't look well. Life on the inside for Roger wasn't laidback if the letter was to be believed. Next week, I'll go visit her and find out what happened, but she noted it wasn't a peaceful conversation with him."

We spoke on it a few more minutes before I excused myself and called David Roundlight. Over the years, he had become a friend. David was now leading a team in major crimes and had solved quite a few complex cases to no small amount of media attention.

"Bart, how are you, my friend? How's your beautiful wife?" he said in a friendly tone as he picked up my call.

I smiled despite myself. "Myra is great." I paused, "David. I just heard Roger was released."

I felt David drop his cheerful manner.

"Yeah, I got the report yesterday. I was going to let you know at bowling next week." He said. David and I bowled Tuesday evenings on the same team.

"From what I read in the report, he's gained approval to move to Adelaide. Apparently, he has managed to land a role with a small company over there. In his probation interview, the panel asked about you and if he planned to have any contact. He told them that you could rot in hell for ruining his life but knew he had to move away as no one would hire him here in Western Australia with his record."

I sighed; Peter continued.

"The report notes that life on the inside for him was difficult. He got into several fights, losing most of them. In the end, he became a librarian to keep out of the way of most prisoners. I don't think you will have any issues with him if that's what you worried about."

"Thanks, David, that was my concern. If I do hear anything from him, I'll let you know." I replied, releasing a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

We spoke about Bowling and an upcoming barbeque for a few minutes before I walked back to the table. As I sat down, Myra looked at me.

"David?" she asked. I nodded.

"He confirmed that Roger is out and is moving to Adelaide. But, of course, he hates my guts. I have to say the feeling is mutual." I told the assembled family.

The rest of the afternoon was a little subdued, but I was with my family and they make sure I felt supported.

That night I woke sweating and screaming from the first nightmare I had had in years. In it, Roger had come in the night tying us all up. He held a gun on us and told me that he would shoot Myra, Tilly, and Byron unless I used the straight razor on myself. I had picked up the razor and was about to do what I had once done when I woke up screaming.

Myra was awake in an instant. I was sweating like a swine and couldn't stop rubbing my wrists as she tried to calm me down. Without asking, Myra called my therapist, who was very gracious in accepting a call at two in the morning. Mind you; it's why we paid him so much money. I explained the dream as Myra cried, gently holding onto me for dear life. While it upset my wife, just talking it through made me feel better.

My therapist listened as I talked through the dream, noting it was very likely triggered by the news of Roger's release and the anxiety that I had surrounding everything I went through during that time over thirteen years ago.

We made a follow-up appointment, and I thanked him for picking me up so early in the morning. As we settled back down, Myra checked on Byron, who surprisingly was still asleep. Tilly had woken up, but she headed back to bed when she heard us on the phone, she had told her mother to tell me that she loved me.

I laid down after a visit to the bathroom, and Myra snuggled into my chest. Her ever-impressive bust stirred me awake, and before I knew it, we were coupled together. My need for connection to her body was as hot as her body. Now in my fifties, my libido had slowed a little, but Myra's late forties body still had the curves in the right places, we made love for almost thirty minutes before my final release came, and after a brief shower, we got back into bed.

"Do you really think there will be an issue with Roger?" Myra asked, slightly concerned.

"No, I don't," I said. "I think he's going to move away, and we will never hear from him. And even if we did, you know that we have protection." I hinted at my hunting gear stored securely in our walk-in wardrobe.

Myra nodded in the dark, "Good, I'm sorry, my love, that hearing about it set you off. Are you alright?"

"Kind of," I replied. "Unfortunately, I think there is always going to be a shadow there. I don't think too much about those days anymore, but it will always be a part of me." I squeezed the sexy naked woman who loved me so much. "But when I do think about those times, I tend to dwell on the beautiful blonde woman who swooped in and saved my life."

Myra raised her head and looked at me.

"I'm serious my love." I told her, "I felt so helpless back then that I thought there was no way to go but to end it all. I might have done so again if you weren't there for me when I woke up. I've come to understand that there is no getting better from this. Ignoring it won't help. The best I can do is make sure that I have those that I love around me as much as possible, reminding me of everything I have to be thankful for and talk with you when I need to so I don't end back up in that place again.

Myra nodded.

"I love you Bart." She said.

"I love you too Myra," I replied.

With that, we fell asleep, and while we didn't always live happily ever after, there were both good and not so good days. Yes, there were fights and disagreements, there were more nightmares. But I learnt through it all more than anything else, I had unconditional love from a woman that made all things possible, I had friends that accepted me for who I was and family that was there for me regardless of life's storms.

[::: Fin :::]

[::: Authors Ending Notes ::::]

Thank you for reading Total Destruction. This became a bit of a passion for me as it was based on a thought, I had waking up one morning when I was feeling a little overwhelmed by life. After talking with my wife a few minutes wanted to write, and this story was the result.

I did kick around adding one last scene with Kelly, but with Grace's reference to Kelly, I think we all know that Kelly had burnt herself and, while regretful, was doing her time we didn't need any more of her. Kelly was a complex character for me. She was seduced and convinced to break her husband. But I would like to think that if she knew what Bart would do that it would have shocked her out of her behaviour. I also want to point out that for me the scene after the court was not reconciliation but remorse. Kelly knew she had destroyed everything and went to prison, knowing her happy life was over.

As you saw, this story had a considerable theme of suicide within it. That people feel so lost and so hopeless they feel the need to take their own lives is a sadness of the highest order. Here in Australia, an average of nine people take their lives every day. In my view, this is nine too many. In addition, every year, over 65,000 people attempt to take their own lives because they feel there is no way out. We can all do so much better to help people in this situation.

I wrote about the pain of someone fighting these feelings in this story, outlining a plot that made our main character feel that he had no way out. But if you notice, I also wrote hope for him. As I wrote the dark scenes, I recalled my brushes with hopelessness and depression, but I also thought of those who helped me up. Our MC was the same. He just needed someone to look past circumstances to show him another way. As a society worldwide, we are more aware of mental health issues than ever before. If you see someone struggling, then reach out to them and be the support they need. Check out RUOK for more information on how you can help.

If you're reading this for any reason and struggling in this area, I want you to know that you are not alone and that you can reach out for help. If you feel trapped and the people around you are not your conversation piece, there are lots of places you can go. For example, in Australia, we have places like Lifeline to help people who care for strangers without knowing who they are. In other countries there are services that can be there for you. From the bottom of my heart, I wish the best for each of you that have taken the time to read to this point.

Thanks, everyone.

See you in the next story.

Regards

John Other.