Trivial Pursuits Ch. 20

For a time, he seemed content to just gaze down on her, smoothing her hair back, running the back of his fingers along the smooth skin of her cheeks and neck. He traced the contours of her open mouth with a finger, and then gave a little groan when her mouth parted more, inviting the digit in. In and out he slowly moved his finger, her tongue laving it from inside her moist cavern, suckling it so he could feel the sensation deep in his cock. Not able to take the torture for long, he replaced his finger with his mouth, his tongue sensually sliding against hers.

Denny couldn't stop touching her body, couldn't get enough pleasure with just his hands, and so pulling away from her, looked her in the eyes as he shifted his hips. The crown of his shaft slid down the length of her wet slit until it nestled at her entrance. Denny reached down to grasp his throbbing cock and hold it steady as his hips slowly pushed forward, sliding him deeper and deeper in. He had to pull out a little before proceeding farther, repeating the slow and steady invasion until she had stretched around his fat girth and he was completely embedded in her.

For a moment, he was content just to feel her tight walls slowly clench around him, adjusting to him. Alessa bent her legs, drawing her knees up so her feet were flat on the floor. Denny reached back and drew one to hook at the top of his butt, opening her up, deepening the connection. She groaned when she felt him sink that much farther into her. Her hands were touching every part of him she could reach, and when she drew him down for a kiss, he began to slowly move, pulling out and then falling slowly back in.

But Denny didn't kiss her for long as he still wanted to watch her face, watch her expressions as he once again produced pleasure in her. Their pace was unhurried, lacking the frantic pace of many of their past encounters. It was slow and measured, deliberate and powerful. A deep flush again rose up her cheeks, now marking her with the flame he created in her.

When Denny felt her deep walls begin to flutter once more, he stilled, denying her the oncoming orgasm. Alessa whimpered in response, and he leaned down to kiss her in comfort. When her body had seemingly calmed, he drew back once more, this time coming up to sit back on his knees and drawing her thighs to lay over his and hook behind him. The position caused Alessa's lower back to arch up as her hips rose up to lay on his thighs and her shoulders and head rested on thick fur. Denny put a hand in the arch of her back to support her and placed the other on her lower abdomen right above her mound.

He then moved his hips back and then forward against her, driving himself in and out. Positioned as they were, Denny's shaft was angled to scrape along the front inner side of her passage, perfectly hitting the deep bundle of nerves as well as providing his hand a chance to feel him move inside of her. It was the hottest fucking thing he'd ever felt. Alessa lay back watching him slowly drive into her, her fingers grasping onto his knees and the sides of his legs, though they weren't really able to find purchase.

She groaned as that deep fire was kindled and began burning low in her gut. It felt amazing to be so open to him, to be able to do nothing more than accept what he offered. Denny drove into her like that, until again he brought her near the dark precipice. When her moaning gave her impending climax away, he stopped the thrust of his hips and drew her up to sit on top of his thighs.

Alessa's arms immediately circled around his shoulders to cling to him. Their foreheads touched as they stared at each other, panting with the intense pleasure coursing through them. Alessa readjusted her legs to bend back at the knees so she could use her feet for leverage. With Denny's arms around her, she began moving on him, sliding up and down and back and forth on his cock.

Denny wasn't going to hold back any longer, knowing he'd kept her from her much deserved climax long enough. He was ready to come himself, and so together they began seeking fulfillment in earnest. She could hear the sound of her wet body being invaded with each thrust, but it was soon drowned out by her own growing moans. Again she was gasping his name as her hands pulled him in for endless kisses.

She was crying out now, a constant, desperately needy sound echoing into his mouth. He could feel the vibration all the way through his body. Her pace was furious against him as she could feel how close she was. He leaned away from her, his hands leaving her back to cup her face and stare at her. And peering into her eyes he flung her deep into reeling pleasure as her body tensed and shuddered around him.

Watching the intensity of her orgasm completely possess her, he felt himself tip on the verge, and pulled her to him for a fierce, greedy kiss. With her tight walls crushing his cock as she convulsed around him, he felt free to let himself find his own blinding release. The ripples and waves and eddies overtook their senses, and for several minutes they could only gasp and cling to each other.

When he could see again, when thoughts began to emerge in his mind and return him to reality, Denny maneuvered them to lay down on the rug. Their skin was flushed and covered in sweat and bathed in the golden light of the fire. Alessa was still breathing heavily and slowly stirred back to the present with the tender kisses Denny placed on her face and shoulders. Her eyes fluttered open to find him leaning on an elbow above her.

They were silent for several moments as they stared at each other, Alessa trying to understand what was passing between them. "What was that?" she asked at last, her voice soft and uncertain.

Denny's smile was gentle and filled with...

"Today's a good day to celebrate, to be mindful of what we're happy for in life, right?" She nodded slowly. "Well, I'm grateful for my family, for my success. But, at this moment, I can't think of anything I'm more thankful for...than you," he whispered. He slowly bent his head down to caress her lips with his, pouring all his emotion into the kiss.

When he pulled back again, he cupped her cheek and summed up the courage, knowing there wasn't going to be a more perfect time than this.

"I'm thankful that you've given me a chance, that you've given yourself a chance. I'm thankful for your dry sense of humor, which always makes me smile. I'm thankful for your expressive eyes. I'm thankful for the strength that has kept you going, for your insight and your bravery and your loyalty to your nightly runs. I'm thankful that you fight with me for what you believe and that you haven't made it easy, but I'm thankful you've given in, if only a little. I'm thankful for your friendship. And I'm thankful that a day doesn't go by that I don't get to see you, if only for a little bit. Because, you see, there isn't anyone I want to see more. There isn't anyone I want to hear from more, be with more. Because, my sweet heart, there isn't anyone I love more than you."

Alessa had grown increasingly tense during his speech and could only hold her breath when he admitted that he loved her. Denny could tell instantly by her reaction that her brain was in overdrive, but he held her gaze steady and unflinching, not willing to be afraid of how he felt, certain she must feel the same.

She lay like a stone statue below him, her mind cranking to process his confession and to analyze her own reaction, to decipher her own feelings. And mingled in with the fear and surprise and pleasure was that old familiar guilt. And having recognized it for what it was earlier, she now realized the full depth of it; she felt guilty that not only was her life a success, but that she was loved by a great man. And she loved him in return.

Alessa blinked back tears, overwhelmed by her own revelation and fearful of what it all meant. She couldn't say it back, even if it was true, for it was covered and held down by so many other things. She did the only thing she could, and lifted her hands to his face and pulled him down for a passion-filled kiss.

Denny wasn't quite hurt that she said nothing, but more relieved that she was at least reaching for him, kissing him and not running screaming into the night. When she shivered from the cold, they moved to the bed and held each other, kissing and touching and whispering late into the early hours.

As her mind was weighed down by all that had transpired between her and Denny the night before, she reluctantly spent Friday with the women of the family shopping the after-holiday deals. Katrina was gearing up to finalize the items she needed for the new baby, and most of the day was spent in and out of baby boutiques.

"You're awfully quiet today," Pima observed as she looped her arm through Alessa's as she walked through one of the stores. "Don't enjoy baby-stuff shopping?"

"Hm? Oh, I suppose I never really thought about it."

"Don't you want kids?"

Alessa thought for a moment, wondering what to keep hidden, what to confess. "Honestly, I've always been so focused on succeeding, on doing well and finding a job and a career that I could excel in, that family never really entered my mind."

"But something's changed?" Pima pried, picking up a small pair of pink baby booties.

"Oh," Alessa stuttered, realizing now for the first time that what she had imagined and planned for had been reshaped just by Denny's presence in her life. "Well, I suppose, perhaps a little."

"I don't mean to pry, but can I share a little insight?" When Alessa nodded, she proceeded. "Denny's brought girls, women home in the past. Usually just for dinner, but once or twice for the weekend. But he has never brought anyone to a special family event. He's never looked at any of them the way he looks at you. He's serious about you. He's serious about what you two are together. Now, you have to decide if you feel the same way, and then make how you feel understood and live true to it. It isn't enough to be greatly loved by someone, if you don't feel the same."

Alessa turned to her. "Pima, I..." but she couldn't confess her love for Denny when she hadn't said it to him yet, when she didn't know how it would change her life, and so simply stated, "I'll think about it." And together, the two women walked arm in arm, thoughts of a man and his future weaving through their minds.

*****

A/N:

The author's take on it all...

I don't want to say too much in fear of overtly foreshadowing things to come, however many of you clearly have an issue with the scenes in the last chapter, and I decided to share my perception of the underlining issues at hand in hopes you would better understand Denny's actions.

First and foremost-and this is a problem I had with my other story Possess Me that many readers did/do not seem to intuitively grasp-this is NOT a BDSM story. Sure, he ties her up in this scene, but he himself does not really know anything about BDSM and all the many 'rules' that go along with it, such as safe words. BDSM and being tied up in one scene are not mutually inclusive; one CAN exist without the other, and therefore, just because he ties her up in one instance, doesn't mean that all the very well formed and clearly outlined guidelines for BDSM interaction apply.

Denny only has an idea to create an allegorical sexual encounter with her to illustrate her maladaptive coping mechanisms, he's not looking to make her a submissive. He simply wants her to come to the feeling that she's not in control, at least for a few minutes, and readjust her reaction to that from being afraid and needing to run, as has been her pattern, to remaining calm and strong so she can make the choice she really wants. He's bringing awareness to this unhealthy habit and giving her the opportunity to grow from it. As someone has pointed out, sure, perhaps it's a little patronizing, but they wouldn't be where they are if he wasn't a little pushy with her.

And for those of you who are a bit squeamish with how 'reluctant' Alessa has been and how much Denny must coerce her into participating, I can appreciate that this story does straddle the line of romance/non-consensual, though if I were to publish it in the non-con section, they would argue that it wasn't non-con enough. I find that this story is ultimately a romance, though due to the past damage of our heroine, she would have preferred to forget that love and lust exist, and therefore, if he is to win her, the hero must be a little forceful, at times shocking her into realizing just what possibilities lie in a relationship.

As to the story being one-sided with only Alessa's issues being addressed...well, that was the whole premise for this story, to explore her transformation as she develops the mentality and skills needed to be in a healthy relationship. When I began to visualize it was about Alessa finding growth through the sexual escapades her partner put her through. It wasn't about Denny-though I think he is far from perfect and will demonstrate growth by the end of the story. But he gets her; he applies his power of analysis to peel back the layers of her behavior to find the root cause deep inside. He's made a few mistakes here and there, but ultimately, that is his role in this story, to guide her to understand herself and find the courage to face it and change it.

And as for all the claims that Denny believes Alessa isn't good enough for him, or that he is trying to change her, I don't think that is the case at all. It isn't as if he is guiding her interests, or telling her who she can spend time with or advising her that her political philosophy is wrong...he only addresses all those maladaptive and fear-driven behaviors she developed over the years, and which are strangling her chance for a love and happiness. He likes Alessa very much, but the poor girl needs therapy. And true, to one reader's point, she would best be served in actual therapy with a trained therapist. But then that wouldn't be an erotic story, would it?

I hope my explanations have helped ease some of your concerns, for those of you on the boarder. As for the rest, I get it, that's fine if this isn't your cup of tea. No one expects you to stay and keep reading.