Two of a Kind

"That will be twenty two eighty seven, plus tip, Hercules," said Chris lazily.

"What?" sacked the guy. "We didn't order any fuckin' pizza. Beat it, Spiccolli."

"Look Mr. Hand, or in your case Mr. Dick," said Chris angrily. "I have an order here for someone name Peters. And someone is going to pay for this pizza!"

The hulking guy turned away and started shouting to someone in the warehouse. He was probably asking if Peters had placed the order. As he stepped inside, Chris, instead of staying in the doorway gestured for me to move in and followed the guy inside.

Just as I got to the doorway, I heard Peters yelling, "We didn't order that shit. We're busy. Get rid of him."

"You heard him, Pal," said the huge guy. "Hit the bricks. Hey who told you to bring your skinny little ass in here?"

As I watched Chris placed the pizza on a table and grabbed his chest as if he was having a heart attack. The big guy watching him was shocked. Then Chris started to stagger and I recognized what was going on so I just smiled and watched.

"Are you okay?" the guy asked. Chris staggered again still holding his chest. The guy reached for him to keep him from falling and as his tree trunk like arms reached out, Chris moved like lightning. One hand came off of his chest. As if he was flailing uncontrollably as he tried to breathe. The flailing hand delivered a ridge hand blow to the hulking bodyguard's throat that stopped him in his tracks. Chris twisted drunkenly in a half circle ending up behind the guy. He clapped his hands together over the guy's ears shattering his eardrums. Then he grabbed the back of the man's collar and delivered a low kick behind his knees at the same time sending the near giant crashing to the floor.

The back of the giant's head hit the solid floor with a cracking sound. From the initial attack, it had taken Chris less than three seconds to knock the hulking man out cold.

As I looked down at the man, I was awed. "He's going to have a hell of a headache when he wakes up," said Chris. "But he WILL wake up." I think his words were really meant in reference to my gun. I think it was his way of telling me that what we were doing wasn't worth anyone dying over.

"Come on. I really need to get home," he said. We walked into the huge main room of the warehouse.

As we walked in I saw Peters behind a camera while a naked woman cowered in the corner. Three more huge muscular men lounged around while a couple of fully dressed women rubbed the men's genitals or sucked at them.

"But I don't want to," whined the naked woman. She was so beautiful it made my eyes hurt.

"Bitch, get your skinny ass on that bed now," demanded Peters. "Do what I say or you won't live to see two months. And I'll just get someone to replace you."

The woman reluctantly stood up, but she froze when she saw Chris and me enter the room.

Peters noticed her shock and got a pissed off expression on her face. "Where the fuck is that imbecile? Is he just letting anyone who comes to the door in. First the fucking pizza guy and now you two." he shook his head in exasperation.

"Look, guys, the tryouts for amateur porn stars is NEXT week. I'm trying to shoot a film here. Although if you can perform you two might make it. I like the laid back surfer style," he said to Chris nodding his head. "And you, Pops," he said looking at me.

"Shit, if you can get it up, I can make you a star. Do you have any idea how big the senior citizen porn market is? Fuck! Oldie porn is huge with all of the baby boomers retiring. And all of those old fuckers want to imagine someone their age crushing some young pussy. I can make you a God in porn."

"But for today, I'm shooting the debut of my new girl. I've got three of my best starring with her. You boys will learn a lot from watching them." The three huge, muscular guys nodded at us.

"Are you guys porn fans?" asked Peters. "If you are I'm sure you'll recognize the mighty Guy Whyte," he said pointing to the man on the left. He was the shortest of the three. He had a barrel chest and a thick mat of chest hair.

"Look," he said glaring at us. "That's just my porn name. I ain't no white guy. They put me in every fucking ethnicity they can find. Last week I was an Indian, the week before that, I was a Mexican. I'm an Israeli, get it straight."

"Next to him is the man with the supposed biggest white dick in porn," screamed Peters with a little smirk on his face. "The cream machine himself, Redd Neck."

"What do you mean supposed?" asked Neck.

"And finally the Cajun persuasion from the deep dark south. The invincible Sam Beaux," said Peters pointing to a huge black man who was reading a thick book. He looked up at us and told us that he was just doing porn to pay his way through college.

"Well Hugh," I said. "Since you're so busy, you could just give me Frank's adress and I'll let you get back to it." His eyes narrowed and he glared at me.

"I don't know any fuckin' Frank," he sneered.

"Doctor Franklin Nathaniel Stein," I said slowly. "He has a PHd in genetics and another in Biochemistry and BioEnngineering."

"Sounds like a smart damn dude," he smirked. "But what he doesn't sound like is someone I would know. Strippers, hookers, strumpets, sluts, gas bag steroid abusing lunkheads, I would know but..."

"Hey," interrupted Redd Neck. "We prefer to be adressed as Same Sex Americans or Neutral Gender."

"What the fuck are you bitching about, Neck?" asked Peters.

"You called me a fag steroid abuser and a lunkhead," said Neck.

"No, I said Gas Bag steroid abusing lunkheads," clarified Peters.

"Oh, my bad," said Neck. "I think I have too much dairy in my diet."

"Look, you three gorillas or in your case, Neck, girl-rillas, beat the fuck out of these two so we can get back to the film," said Peters in an almost bored voice. He was sure of the outcome before the first blow of the fight had been struck.

The three started to move towards us. "Chris how should we handle this?" I asked. This was why I hated working on the fly. We had no battle plan and no worked out strategy.

"Handle what?" asked Chris yawning. "Oh them, I've got this one. You're getting the plane. Just make sure the super model doesn't slide her slippery ass out of here."

Chris suddenly jumped up and ran towards the three porno guys. Just as he got to them he slipped and fell almost comically. He landed right in front of Sam Beaux. As he tried to regain his balance his foot flew out and caught Sam right in the nuts. Though seemingly accidental the blow was solid as evidenced by Sam's nearly soprano scream. Chris got up go his knees in front of Sam who was still screaming and had tears in his eyes from the pain on his gonads. Chris started apologizing but even as he straightened up, his fist caught Sam Beaux on the chin and the big guy went down like a sack of potatoes.

"What happened?" asked Chris in confusion. He took up one of those archaic boxing stances like they did in the 1800's with both fists aimed at the ceiling. He jumped up and down in front of Redd Neck who was still stubbed at how easily Sam Beaux had hit the ground.

Chris launched an exaggeratedly slow left punch at Redd's jaw that was so slow and so clumsy that Redd laughed as he leaned backwards away from it. The momentum that Chris had put into the punch carried his arm in a circle past Redd, who was getting ready to counter punch Chris.

But Chris had played him. The exaggerated slow punch was a feint. Like lightning, Chris twirled on his feet completing the circle as his right elbow arced around and caught Redd Neck in the back of his red neck.

Redd went down like a pole axed ox. He dropped to the concrete floor prone. "If you live by the sword," said Chris taking a little hop and skip before burying his foot in Redd's crotch. "You die by the sword." Redd's body spasmed from the pain and actually lifted off of the floor. "Or at least get knocked the fuck out by the sword." said Chris. His head pivoted until he faced Guy Whyte.

Guy now found himself alone. He looked at Chris and then at the only exit. That was the door behind us. "Not my nuts," he yelled. He abandoned his menacing advance and out both hands between his legs to protect his family jewels. Chris stepped over to Guy. His right foot stepped onto Guy's knees. His left knee caught Guy under his chin so hard his head snapped backwards. I swear I heard the sound of Guy's jaw snapping. Guy hit the floor dazed. Gravity brough Chris down on top of him with both feet landing on Guy's now unprotected nuts.

Guy couldn't even move his injured jaw enough to scream. His pain hissed out like air going through a pipe and he rolled there as Chris just looked at me.

Peters and the girl stared at Chris as if he'd just come down from mars.

"Hugh, how are your nuts feeling?" I asked. "Are you starting to remember him now. Franklin Stein. Franklin Nathaniel Stein. Frank N. Stein."

"Tick tock," said Chris to me. "Come on Rebecca," he said, holding out his hand. The woman looked at him and smiled. She took his hand. "Let's get you back to your husband."

"What's a husband?" she asked.

"Where's her Russian accent?" Chris asked me. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"You were serious, weren't you?" he asked. I nodded. Peters didn't try to fight us he took off.

Chris pushed the woman into my arms. "I've got him, Clyde," he said. A few seconds later Chris reappeared dragging a now unconscious Peters behind him.

"You can interview him on the plane or when we land," he said. "We have to go."

* * * * * *

Sarah

The feeling I'd had since this case began suddenly intensified. There was just something wrong here but I couldn't put my finger on it. As I say there in front of my computer trying to put all of the pieces together I drew a blank. Maybe Chris was right. I couldn't go by feelings. I am not Savannah. I don't have the psychic gift. Or maybe I do, I just don't know now to use it.

On the other hand, maybe I was already using it. If Savannah actually had any kind of power or ability, she had clearly only used it on Greg. Maybe that was what linked the two of them together so fiercely. And then if that was her power, maybe I had it too. Maybe I'd used mine on Chris, because the two of us were so closely linked that we completed each other's thoughts and words and at this very moment I knew that he was working on something that was very odd. I just wished he'd had the time to tell me what was going on. More than anything though I wished that this baby was out of my belly so I could be there with him.

My phone rang then. I picked it up. "Ms. Price, this is Sally Hawks," said a voice. "I'm an attorney and we share a client. I just finished looking at a rather disturbing video that your husband apparently took and you e-mailed to our client. I'm just trying to cover all of my bases. Is it possible that in the event that this case goes to a judge, your husband might be able to testify under oath as to the authenticity of his video?"

"Of course," I said. "We offer to accompany any of our clients to court whenever necessary," I said. "But it won't happen. I don't think there's going to be a divorce here."

"Well you'd better convince Mr. Temple of that," she said. "We just sent a process server to his home to serve papers on his wife and..."

I hung up on her and called Will back. I couldn't get him on the phone. I jumped into my car and drove to Will's house. I tried to fight my way through traffic. I had no idea what I would say to her. Hi, Mrs. Temple, I'm one of the PI's who spied on you for your husband. Just this once I was throwing the book away. I was ignoring the facts and the evidence and going on a gut feeling. I still believed somehow that I could fix this. I just needed to tread water until Chris got back to me and I could feel in my soul that my man was on his way.

I broke all records for getting across town. I pulled up in front of Will's beautiful house just in time to be...too late.

Even as I got out of the car and hustled my pregnant butt towards the front porch I saw a tall slender blond woman step down from the porch. She cracked her gum several times and then looked at me. "Hey, Sarah," she said.

"Hey back, Eliza," I replied. "Eliza Howell is a process server. She's one of the best in the business.

"A friend of yours?" she asked.

"Kind of," I said.

"Good, because she's going to need you," she said. "I really don't ever get emotionally involved in these things. It's just a job. But I felt bad about this one. That woman is shattered. She was totally blindsided. Usually the reaction is surprise that their spouse found out about something they were doing. Or surprise that their spouse decided to dump them. But this lady had no idea that this was coming. Sarah she's going to need you."

I hustled up the black granite stairs and went to comfort a woman that I had never met and whom all of the evidence told me was one of the most unrepentant cheaters I'd ever met.

* * * * * *

Becca.

I heard the doorbell and went to answer it. I got excited. Maybe Will was sending me flowers to make up for not calling me. No more business trips for him without me. I missed him too much. When I opened the door there was a tall slender blond woman standing there. She was looking down in a briefcase. She looked up when she saw me standing there. Something went off in my head. She was too well dressed to be a Jehova's witness. My next thought was that she wanted to sell me either life insurance or a time share, but she looked too young for that. She was chewing gum and cracked it a couple of times then looked up to face me.

"Are you Becca Temple?" she asked.

"Yes," I said and her eyes met mine for the first time.

"Holy Shit, you're pretty," she said. Then she tilted her head. "Oh my God that's your real name isn't it? You're Rebecca Miranova. Oh my God, I'm sorry, but...You've been served," she said handing me a bunch of papers.

I wondered who the hell was suing me this time. I was always being sued for one things or another. Every famous person is. But normally these things went to my management. If I said that I believed in some cause or other, the people behind it often took that as me saying that I'd do something for them or agree to be their spokesperson. In a lot of cases that meant they expected me to appear in a commercial for them or at a dinner that I had no idea about. Then they'd try to sue me for breach of a contract that I had never signed.

I looked at the papers and almost passed out. I dropped to my knees on the hard granite surface and just started crying. I felt like my soul had been ripped out of my body. I had trouble breathing. The woman chewing the gum dropped her briefcase and tried to help me. There had to be some mistake. Will could never divorce me. We loved each other far too much for that. I kept telling myself over and over that it was a cruel joke.

After she was sure that I was breathing, the blond woman walked away. I wondered what gave her the strength to do her job. What kind of job is it anyway? And what kind of woman could spend her day ruining lives?

I tried to get to my feet, but I couldn't. I had no reason to do anything. Sitting there on my steps...our steps was as good a place to be as anywhere else. After a few minutes of just sitting there, I realized that it had all fallen apart. Will had somehow found out about what was going on. He knew about my decision and had decided that we just didn't want the same things. I had to call him and let him know that if it meant that much to him, I would keep working.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of footsteps on the granite stairs. It had to be that awful gum chewing blond. She' discovered a mistake and come back to apologize for scaring the life out of me.

I looked up and shook my head. This had to be the day for beautiful women. Slowly making her way up my stairs was another woman with long red tinged blond hair. She wore those little square glasses, kind of like the sexiest librarian ever.

I noticed as she got closer that she was pregnant and that started me crying all over again. She sat down on the steps beside me and just hugged me. It was a nice gesture, but it didn't come close to easing my pain.

"Shhhh," she said. "Becca we're going to get through this. I know it looks bad but I have a feeling in my gut that something weird is going on here. Will loves you. He loves you more than anything. He's just hurt right now and he's striking out in his pain."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"My name is Sarah Price," she said. "I'm the best there is at what I do. My husband Chris and I kind of helped to mess up your marriage. She told me everything she knew about what was going on."

* * * * * *

Sarah

"Cheating!" she said. "He's out of his fokkink mind. I would never EVER do that!" Her Russian accent got even thicker and she was getting angry."

"I believe you Becca, but we're going to have to stop him from leaving town until my husband gets here. As sure as I can breathe, I know Chris has found a way to convince Will that this is somehow wrong. Maybe you were drugged or something and just don't remember doing it."

Before the words were out of my mouth my phone rang. It was Sophia.

"Sarah, I put a tail on your client. I also intercepted a fax that went back and forth between him and his lawyer. He's gone. Tim tried to keep up with him, but his car is too fast and apparently he doesn't care about speeding tickets. Chris probably could have kept up with him, but according to Tim her was going faster than a buck thirty on the freeway. That's a felony."

"Thanks Soph," I said.

"What is problem?" asked Becca.

"Our luck isn't getting any better," I said. "Will has left town to try to get over you. He's letting his lawyer handle the divorce and running away."

"No problem," she said. "You said you know your husband like you know your own breath. Well so do I. We have a cabin in the woods that we go to sometimes. I think he will go there. But just in case, come into the house." She took me into their home office.

She booted up the computer and launched a program. There were five glowing dots on a screen. She pulled up a map over lay. She looked at the dots. Four of them were together. "These four dots are my BMW, My Range Rover, Will's Shelby GT 350 and his Jeep. The fifth dot is Will's other Mustang and as I said he is heading for the cabin," she told me.

She left the room and started throwing things into a bag. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to be with my husband," she said.

As she headed out to the Range Rover, I followed her. My phone rang again.

"Honey, I'm on my way in and you're going to be shocked," said Chris.

"Chris, don't come home," I said. I gave him the coordinates of the cabin that I'd copied from the map in Becca and Will's house. "Meet me there ASAP."

We drove for about two hours to get to the area around the cabin. I got Becca to stop in the little town that was about a ten minute drive from their cabin. We had a talk. I explained to her that Will was distraught. He was hurting as badly as she was, so she had to be careful. He might say some things that he didn't really mean and she had to be smart enough and strong enough for the both of them.

"Why would he believe that I would do that?" she asked. "He knows that I love only him."

"Becca all men are really just little boys. My husband Chris is so much like your Will that it's crazy. They became friends as soon as they met. Both of them have a couple of Mustangs, they're both as shy as hell. I'm telling you it's crazy. A big part of what you like so much in Will is that shyness and the way that he treats you like you're the only woman in the universe, right?" She nodded and smiled for the first time since we'd gotten together.