Until Death Does Us Part?

After a few second pause, he asked, "Uh, Mary, here's the question no gentleman should ask a lady. But here goes. I'm sixty-seven, how old are you?"

"I'll be sixty-nine in January. How do you like being with an older woman?"

"Oh, you mean a 'cougar,' don't you," he joked. "Age is not the issue it used to be, now is it?"

"No, it's not. Now I need to get that last dish out of the oven. I'll be right back."

Bill took the opportunity to look around the room. On the mantle over the fireplace were a whole bunch of family photos. He recognized Dave who appeared to be a robust, smiling fellow who had his arm around a younger Mary. Bill thought they were an amazingly attractive couple. "Just like Estelle and me at one time," he mused. He could figure out their children and saw pictures of many kids, probably grandchildren.

"You have a lovely family," he said.

"Thanks, I appreciate that. I've invited them to visit over the holidays, I hope they can all make it."

"My kids have both promised to come. Brian and Lisa will be here on Christmas Eve and will stay for two or three days after that."

"That should be nice. I know my daughter is OK seeing her dad, but my two boys hate it. They just don't do well visiting Dave. I think the whole thing scares them."

In a few minutes she brought the food to the table and he opened the small bottle of wine. They each had one small glass and as they sat down at the table Mary looked at him and said, "A toast to a good friend, a friend who shares with me the same burden and knows what I am going through. Thank you, Bill."

"You're welcome. I only know that without your being there my journey would have been much worse."

With that they had their meal. It was quite modest for Thanksgiving but they enjoyed it fully. After the pie was consumed Bill went into the kitchen to wash dishes while Mary neatened up. She thanked him for making short work of the clean up and invited him to the living room. There they sat at opposite ends of the couch talking and listening to soft music she had on the stereo.

Mary sat turned to Bill and had her legs tucked up under her exposing a few inches of thigh to him. He avoided staring but found himself wondering why he was even looking. It had been several years since he had been intimate with his wife and he had since closed his mind to anything of a sexual nature. He realized he rather enjoyed looking at Mary's thigh and for the first time in years he found himself actively thinking about sex. He was, however, slightly ashamed of himself. "She's married, and so are you," he thought to himself. With great concentration he forced himself to think about their conversation and not her thigh.

After an hour or so he indicated it was getting late and he would need to go. As he got up, she escorted him to the door.

"Thanks for having me over, Mary. I can't believe how much fun and relaxing it was."

"The pleasure was all mine. I wanted to celebrate the holiday with someone and not be alone. You fit the bill perfectly," she chuckled.

As he got to the door, he turned to her and suddenly she was in his arms. She gave him a generous hug and he gingerly responded with a nice squeeze.

"I won't bite, Bill. I just needed a hug. This is only the second hug I've had since Dave left and I need the energy that this will give me." With that he wrapped his arms a bit tighter until she gently pulled back.

"You're right. It does feel pretty good. Thanks again for dinner. See you tomorrow for a walk."

After telling him good night Mary turned back into her living room while Bill drove home with a bit of a warm, pleasant feeling. He figured the hug was just as Mary indicated, an energy booster. Still, he admitted that it was wonderful having a woman in his arms again.

Over the next couple of weeks they spent quite a bit of time together, both on the walks and after their visits at Our Home. On a particularly cold day at the park she leaned towards him and asked, "Would it be OK if I slid my hand in your arm?"

"Uh, sure, that'd be nice," he said. They finished out the final half mile of the walk with her arm in his and her leaning slightly against him. At the cars she turned to him and said, "Bill, I'm getting greedy. Another hug, please." They then stood a few minutes together just holding each other as he gently rubbed her back.

"Thanks. Much appreciated. See you tomorrow."

"Sure, Mary. Tomorrow."

The following Wednesday was a horrible day at Our Home. Both Dave and Estelle seemed to be particularly agitated. Estelle sat hunched over in her chair rocking back and forth and when Bill greeted her, she cursed him loudly. Dave actually struck at Mary when she tried to help him with his meal. The nurse's aid eventually came to them and quietly suggested that they leave. "Some days people here get unruly and we've found it is easiest just to remove them from the stressful environment. Maybe it's the full moon, who knows? It's nothing personal..."

"Oh, believe me, I know. Thank you," Mary said as she went to get up. "Bill, are you coming?"

Bill hopped up and they exited together. Again, they sat in the foyer talking about the spouses' episodes. As they got up to leave Bill suddenly asked, "Mary, would you like to go out to dinner with me this evening? Nothing fancy, just a chance to be together a bit more."

Mary looked at him for a few seconds before answering. "Sure," she nodded. "That would be nice. I insist on going Dutch. Where should we go?"

"You know, I hadn't planned on this, it was a sudden thought, so I really don't know. How about we dress casually and I'll pick you up at six."

"But I can meet you there."

"I know, but being in the car gives a few more minutes together..."

"Bill, is this a 'date'? 'Cause if it is, I'd feel guilty that I might be considered unfaithful..."

"Look, let's be honest here. I enjoy your company. I look forward to meeting with you. Those walks are the highlight of my week. I want to spend more time with you, but this is not a romantic 'date', it's two people having a meal and talking, sharing, nothing more."

"OK, then I'll see you at six."

He arrived just a few minutes before six and rang the doorbell. When she opened the door, he was struck how attractive she appeared. She had a nice dress that stopped just at her knees and a woolen scarf around her shoulders that just covered what appeared to be a rather low neckline.

"Wow, you sure look nice this evening. Maybe I should've dressed up a bit."

"Bill, I rarely get to dress up anymore and I felt like it. You look fine, really, and I am eager to get to the restaurant. Let's go."

He took her to a small vegetarian restaurant that had quite a reputation in the community. Bill was not a vegetarian, but he did enjoy their food occasionally. They were led to a small table in a rather dark corner. Once seated their knees bumped into each other's a few times. The waitress brought the menus and lit a small candle on their table as she informed them that this particular table was called the 'Lovers Table' by the staff.

"Oh, we're not lovers," said Mary. "Just good friends."

"Darn it. I just lost a dollar bet to Niles over there. He said you weren't involved and I said you were. My bad."

"Don't worry about it," laughed Bill. "That'll teach you to gamble."

They enjoyed their meal and each had a glass of wine. In order to share their dessert of lemon sorbet they had to scoot their chairs closer together. By alternating turns they were able to finish it fairly quickly. He was just getting ready to scoop up the last bite when she attacked his spoon with hers and stole the last of the sorbet.

"What?"

"Just a warning to you: Don't get between me and my dessert," she laughed. "Cappuccino?"

"Sure, but I'm getting my own cup. I can't have you stealing mine," he joked back.

After the waitress brought the drinks and the bill she bent down over the table and looked at both of them. "Are you sure you're not lovers? You two certainly act like it."

"Honey," said Mary. "You could go out and earn fifty bucks in tips in the time it would take me to explain how and why we are together tonight. Sorry, Niles gets to keep his dollar."

"OK, thank you for coming in tonight. Hope to see you again soon."

In the car they were both quiet, seemingly lost in thought. At her house Mary started to get out of the car when she turned to Bill and asked if he wanted to come in for a few minutes.

In the house she offered him a drink and he requested seltzer water. They sat again on the same couch, again with her thigh barely showing. All of the talk at the restaurant about lovers got his mind going. He really liked Mary and, if the circumstances had been different, he could have seen himself getting involved with her.

As he finished his drink and got up to go Mary informed him that she wanted another hug before she'd let him leave. Smiling he took her in his arms. They held each other for quite some while and suddenly he felt her lips lightly kiss him on the neck. He pulled back a bit, stared in her eyes and then bent down to her face. They stood there, arm-in-arm, and slowly their lips closed the distance.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Umm-hmm. Don't talk, please."

Their lips started to slowly caress each other's and they then softened into a full, warm kiss. His tongue gently stroked her lips until she responded by opening her mouth and allowing him access. After what seemed like hours, but was no more than thirty seconds or so, they pulled apart. When he opened his eyes, he noted hers were still closed and she has a faint smile on her lips.

"Thank you, Bill. Good night," she murmured as he broke the hug and turned to the door. All the way home he kept playing the whole scene over and over in his mind. The hug and the kiss were, well, he couldn't describe it, but he knew it was beyond phenomenal. At the same time, he felt pangs of guilt thinking about Estelle. He knew he was cheating and felt bad about it, but it still felt perfectly OK. As he slid into bed, he decided to send a quick text to Mary.

"Thank you. Sweet dreams." There was no response.

Their next time together was the walk on Friday. The weather cooperated and Bill was enjoying the crisp air when Mary drove up. He noted she seemed a bit subdued when she got out of the car. She responded to his greeting with a fairly flat "Hello." A few minutes into the walk she slowed down, stopped and looked at him.

"Bill, we have to talk."

"OK, what's on your mind?"

"We just cheated on our spouses. You know that don't you? I feel so guilty for starting it..."

"Yes, I guess we did."

"Guess!?"

"OK, I know we did. But if you were to go to Estelle right now and tell her you had kissed her husband, what do you think she would say or do? Or if you told Dave? Hmm?"

"They don't even know our names half the time. Is that an excuse?"

"No, it's not an excuse, it's just the facts. I admit I enjoyed it, very much so. However, if you want to consider this a one-time indiscretion, then we can put it behind us."

"I think maybe we should..."

"OK, issue settled. Let's walk."

They then did their one-mile walk around the lake and at the end agreed to meet at Our Home the next day as usual. Estelle and David were no better and no worse that next afternoon and when Bill and Mary left, they agreed to a quick Starbucks run.

There they discussed the kiss again. Mary had tears in her eyes as she described how her emotions were torn between how nice it felt and the guilt that followed. "Bill, I really like the hugs. I get so much energy from them. I don't think they are really sexual so much as emotional support. But the kiss..."

"Mary, we agreed to not do that again, didn't we? So why beat yourself up time and time again? It's over and done."

"But, Bill, I like you. And I liked the kiss. I really, really did. And, truthfully, I want to do it again," she whispered.

"Yeah, me too," he whispered back. "So, what are we going to do?"

"How about we set limits? Like, say, no more than one kiss per meeting, only in private, no more than thirty seconds..."

"Ninety is my final offer," he joked.

"OK, I'll agree to sixty seconds and no hands!"

"Now haven't I been a gentleman this whole time?"

"Yes, damn it, you have. Unfortunately, I find myself wishing you weren't, at times."

"Now, wait a sec. I'm getting confused. You say you feel guilty, but want to do it again, ask me in so many words not to respect boundaries..."

"Bill, I don't know what I want with us. What I really want is Dave to be better. I want him. But I'll never have him again. And I do so like you. You've become a rock I can lean on. In my confused mind I guess I have to agree that life isn't perfect. Our lives certainly aren't. So, I'm going to go on with my head held high. I'm going to go out with you. I'm going to hug you and I'm going to kiss you. Most importantly, I'll try and push away any thought of guilt. You?"

"OK, I can agree to that. I would suggest that we be discrete, however."

"Oh, sure, only in private. Look, I'm going to run. See you Monday for our walk, OK?"

"Sure, but would you like to get together tomorrow afternoon? You could come over to my place and we could watch a game or play cards. You choose."

"Yeah, that'd be great. Give me your address and I'll be there around two."

He spent the rest of the day and some of the next morning cleaning up his house. The bathroom and kitchen were spotless when he was done. He neatened up in the rest of the house and put a bottle of wine in the fridge. When Mary arrived, she seemed a bit nervous but loosened up with the wine. They agreed to watch the game, but ended up keeping it on mute so they could talk. He teased her when her team fumbled the ball on its own six-yard line and gave up a touchdown on the very next play. She laughed back when two plays later a seventy-five pass-run play brought them back even. A bowl of chips was between them and at one point when her team intercepted a pass, she jumped up so quickly that the bowl spilled onto the floor.

"Oh my god, Bill. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's nice to see someone get excited about the game. No problem. Let me get the vacuum and we'll get it cleaned up in no time."

Eventually they had a pizza delivered for dinner. By late evening Mary indicated she should be going. "Now, Bill, let's get this straight. Hug, sixty second kiss, then I leave. Right?"

"Well, when you put it so clinically, I guess that is right. Come here and get your hug."

They stood there for several minutes wrapped up in each other's arms. She pulled away and looked up at him and pulled him down for a wonderful kiss, even nicer than the previous one.

"I think that one was only fifty seconds long," she teased. You owe me another ten seconds. With that they resumed their kiss but it too lasted nearly a minute.

"Umm, nice. I'd best be going. Thank you."

Over the next week they continued to meet for walks and at Our Home. They became a bit bolder and would give each other quick hugs at the end of the walks, but never near the memory unit. Eventually at her house one evening after they had held each other on the couch for more than ten minutes she turned to Bill and said, "My kids and grandkids will be here for a few days at Christmas. I would like you to meet them. Do you think it would be too weird or uncomfortable?"

"No, not really. Why don't we all plan to meet at Our Home? My kids can come also. I know they want to see their mom and maybe we can reserve the day room and have our own little family get-together? We can tell them that we've all become friends and want to celebrate together."

The two of them agreed to set this up and they reserved the room for Christmas day afternoon. Each of them told their families of the plan. Bill was going to host his two kids and spouses in the house and let the grandkids sleep in the RV in back. Mary's family was a bit bigger and her kids' families went together to rent a large house online.

When she was making the arrangements with her daughter Mary mentioned having two families together. Her daughter asked just who was the other family. Mary said that Dave and Estelle had arrived around the same time and that she and Bill had simply become friends over the past few months. She mentioned it was nice to have someone to talk to about Dave and the issues at the unit.

Bill's daughter was a bit more inquisitive. She even went so far as to ask if Mary was more than just a friend. He told her that Mary had helped him overcome some of his sorrow after Estelle had been placed and that Mary was a great person to share stories and worries with. He denied that there was anything more than a friendship between them.

The two of them decided to have a private little Christmas celebration together before all the kids arrived. On the twenty-first they went to dinner at a little steak house out of town. When they returned Mary invited Bill in. They exchanged a few small gifts before he rose to leave.

"Bill, please don't go just yet. You still owe me a hug and kiss. This may be the last opportunity for awhile."

He smiled at her, sat back down and they wrapped their arms around one another and listened to carols on the radio. Finally, he felt her nuzzling along the side of his neck, kissing him lightly. He pulled back and teased her that that was more than one kiss whereupon she pulled him to her and gently began to nibble on his lips. Their kiss was gentle and soft before it began to be a bit more urgent. Their tongues swirled together and both seemed to be breathing harder. Eventually they broke apart and he took in a deep breath as he spoke.

"That was very nice. I don't know how I will be able to stop at kissing if this keeps up."

"Oh, but that's our agreement, remember?"

"I remember, but Mary, I'm developing some pretty strong feelings about you. I feel pretty guilty about it, but still..."

"I know what you mean. Let's get through the holidays and deal with this a bit later, OK?"

"Sure. Night Mary, sleep tight."

They did not see each other for the next several days. The various kids came to visit and each family celebrated much as they had in the past. Bill's family opened presents Christmas Eve and Santa visited that night. His grandkids enjoyed getting presents from Santa and were amazed that he could find them even when they traveled.

Mary's family had their presents on Christmas morning. Things were a bit rushed as they wanted to have their Christmas party with their dad as scheduled that afternoon.

Eventually around two pm the two families converged at the day room at Our Home. Estelle and Dave were sitting together in wheel chairs near the back table and they both seemed to understand that something special was going on. Neither was very vocal however. The kids attempted to talk with their parents with varying degrees of success. The grandkids were too young to really understand what was going on.

Bill and Mary greeted each other's kids and eventually all the adults were seated around a few tables sharing stories of their parents and growing up. There was lots of laughter and not just a few tears at times. Bill and Mary did not sit together but each escorted their spouse to their rooms when they became obviously tired.

When Bill came back Lisa blurted out, "How did you meet Mary, Dad?"

"Well, Honey, we each come here regularly to help with Estelle and Dave. We just started to talk and have found that it is really nice to have someone who understands what we're going through."

"Does Mom understand that you two have become friends?"

"I really don't think she does. You know there are days when she doesn't even recognize me anymore." Just then Mary returned and Bill turned to her. "Mary, what about Dave? Do you think he understands that we're friends?"