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Click hereHe made his announcement at the dinner table after dessert. He had been accepted at the one university he most wanted to attend and while, yes, it was a thousand miles from home, it was really important to him because it was the school with the best faculty. When he finished he looked first at his father, then his mother and when he looked at his sister he gave the shocked face a surreptitious wink. Though disturbed and wanting to learn more, Jill did as directed. She hurriedly left the table.
The pieces fell into place sooner then Jake had ever hoped. Whether it was the way he made his announcement or his conviction that this was the most important school for his future, the parents soon agreed and then it was just a matter of logic. Yes, they had made it a rule that both children would take their first two years at the local community college, but if Jake was given the freedom to move away, Jill should have it too. It was his overly-cautious, overly-protective mother's idea but the father made it unanimous: Jill should transfer to the same university and they would room together in an apartment their parent's would choose.
To his parents, Jake's grimace, so carefully practiced in the mirror, reinforced the wisdom of the decision.
Jill wasn't nearly so convincing. Jake had only moments to coach her, "Act like you're excited but really disappointed, too."
"To what?" She was grabbing at him but he just turned and led her back to the dinning room.
But when the decision was announced to her she showed only joy, total uninhibited, unconditional joy, with not a trace of disappointment.
And then the parents made their announcement. They were leaving Friday for a nine-day Christian cruise. The two could use the time to get used to living alone with each other.
Here the reader will find a story, layers of emotion. This is not the poor writing of so many others, with its gradual build up it keeps the reader engaged. Your work could serve as a template to others who think they can go from first flush of desire to the obligatory act of Sodomy and threesomes with Mom or Dad in 4 paragraphs. Well done.
This was a great beginning to a beautiful sibling love story. It cries out for another chapter, or perhaps many more.
The commentary by "boring" is stupid . This is a wonderful story .
The siblings are going for the gold.
There is always more room for love in the world.
congrats!!!!
I really like the story, only if there is a part two or a proper ending. It great until that point, then all of a sudden. You rat.