Voyage of Self Discovery Ch. 01

Picking up a little confidence I turned around, maybe slightly too quick as the short skirt flared out slightly revealing even more of my upper leg. Again though there wasn't even the merest chuckle at how much I was revealing myself. Deep inside I was actually starting to relax a little. As I was standing there Melodee came back into the room sporting a very similar uniform but this time with a red top. Our host explained that the red tops were for those given entertainment roles, theatre, sports and the like.

One by one the women disappeared and one by one they reappeared dressed in a version of the uniform. White, red and cyan were the colours on display, the latter was apparently for those who manned the information desks that were commonplace on the cruise liners. Apparently there was a black version as well to be worn in the evenings. This one was a little more low cut than the others and finished in a sort of body-clinging stretchy fabric. The boat motif had disappeared making this a fairly plain sexy black top apart from the words "LIBERATION CRUISES" and "WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE" which were tastefully embroidered in black thread over the left breast. It would be some time before I understood quite what this referred to.

With everyone dressed the same, my shame at being on show was very much reduced. For sure it would not have been the dress of choice but at least I wasn't the only one to have half my body on display. I could hardly think though of what my parents would say if they could see me now. It was just as well that I was on the other side of the world.

Day two was a virtual tour of the cruise ship. It seemed that they had several vessels but the layouts were more or less the same in each case. I had to admit that the names were a little strange but I guessed that was just a language thing. The one we were going to be joining was the SS LIBERATION XXX. Strange name for a boat I thought to myself, but I guess it was something to do with it being the third boat in the fleet. How naive I was.

So the layout of each boat was more or less the same. They were like floating palaces, with activities over several floors. The lower floors were set aside for general facilities such as restaurants, theatres and the various kids club areas. As you moved up the vessel you came to the accommodation floors, some designed for families and some for adults only. Finally came the top floor. This deck was split into two areas with open air pools and the like towards the stern of the boat and a more exclusive adult only leisure area at the front. Strangely the virtual tour didn't really focus too much on this leisure area suffice to say that it was a private oasis in which our adult guests could unwind away from the trials and tribulations of daily life. Anything else was left to your imagination.

The rest of the training was rather uneventful and by the end of the second week I felt fully at ease with myself, accepting of my state of undress and was ready to embark on a life on the open waves. By now I had even discarded the hijab in a bid to feel like I was fitting in.

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So the job wasn't too bad after all and I soon settled in to a routine. Yes I was missing Javed, but all I needed to do was while away the weeks before we were together again. I had his photo in my cabin as a reminder, so he was never truly out of sight.

As expected I had been placed in a team looking after the youngest group of children, which was a bit of a doddle for a mother of four. They were so sweet and enjoyable to be with. I did wonder though how any parent could choose not to want to spend these wonderful days with their cherished offspring. I for one couldn't do this but here on the cruise ship it seemed the norm, not every day but most days at least. They ranged in age from mere toddlers through to twelve years old, anyone older going to the teens club. Responsibilities were simple, just keep them fed and happy, nothing more. The day was long, but the work was hardly challenging and, for what they were paying me, I was one happy employee. Already I was thinking in terms of a year or so and then returning back to my old life.

In the evenings, if requested, we would double up as baby sitters keeping an eye on sleeping children whilst the parents continued to enjoy themselves. What I noticed more than anything was how happy life on the ship was. Whether it be guests or staff, everyone was happy. It was one of those moments where you wish you could bottle whatever was making this such a success. If you could then you would soon be a millionaire; a bottle of pure happiness for sure would sell loads.

There was one other thing which did surprise, not at first but definitely over time. It was just how friendly people were, with each other, with the staff, with total strangers. Everybody seemed so open with each other, so open, so relaxed, so liberated. If I didn't know better I would say there was an air of intimacy around every corner.

It was one late evening when I realised just how true that was. It had been a long day and to be honest I was tired but not really ready for turning in. The cruise liner was definitely luxury, none of the tight dingy corridors lined with cabins that you would find on most boats. Instead there were wide open spaces with cabins only on the outer edges, each with a sea view. The boat itself was more like a floating hotel. There was everything you could imagine and maybe a few things you couldn't. Over time I was to become acquainted with all, but that is a story for another day. The floors were also arranged in groups, some designed for families and others more for those without children.

That evening I had wandered up to the top floor for the first time. It was a beautiful starry night, and up here there was a glass topped ceiling to the central area allowing natural light in, whether it be sunlight or moonlight. The rooms up here were not permanently occupied and the whole area was definitely no children allowed. You could take a private rooftop room for a few minutes to a few hours, provided you were happy to pay the going rate, and for sure they were in high demand. I'd sat myself down on one of the comfy sofas which were clustered around on the top floor intent on just chilling out and watching the stars. Instead though I found myself intrigued by the comings and goings. Despite the late hour it was still fairly busy up here.

At the front end of the floor was an open bar area, thronging with people of all ages except for the lack of any non-adults. Drinks were flowing, the ambience was relaxed and jovial and most of all people seemed very uninhibited with each other. It was definitely a place to meet, greet and make friends. I glanced at the name of the bar but still didn't put two and two together. A large, but rather understated sign, welcomed you to Swingers Bar. In my naivety, and knowing the boat was American, I assumed that this was a baseball themed bar, albeit I had to admit that there wasn't as much memorabilia around as I had expected.

Over time people would drift away and others would arrive. It was a constant turnover of smiley happy people. My eyes followed a couple of young men, walking hand in hand as they headed off into one of the many rooms. The door closed behind them and my attention went back to the bar. A few minutes later a couple took a similar path. He was about my age but she seemed much younger. As he walked past I couldn't help noticing his hand groping firmly at the firmness of her bottom, hidden just under the short dress she was wearing. I almost turned away when her black lace knickers came into view as the hem lifted upwards, but something deep inside was intriguing me. Why was everyone so happy and why were they enjoying each other's company so much? What's more, why was I so interested in what these strangers were getting up to? Another few minutes, I promised myself, and then I was going back to my cabin for the night, which I duly did.

Another night and more time spent up on the top floor. Over time this had become my regular haunt, sitting up here under the stars and watching the world go by. It was people watching by any other name, and it was becoming more and more addictive. It seemed like I was almost invisible as nobody ever paid me any attention. I could sit for hours and the world would just carry on around me. Couples would still come and go, some hand in hand, others locked in an embrace. Some reminded me of myself and Javed, clearly husband and wife, whereas others seemed to be rather new acquaintances or maybe just good friends. Everyone though was so relaxed in the company of their partner for the evening.

My mind wandered away from the couples themselves and more to what they might be getting up to once the door to their room closed behind them. I guessed I had been away from Javed for too long as I would never have imagined having such thoughts back home. It wasn't just thoughts though. I could feel it inside, a kind of excitement as I watched them disappear, my mind flicking through images of what may be happening behind closed doors. Always though I convinced myself that it was nothing but a little private time, the chance for a little rest and relaxation in a luxury cabin under a starlit glass roof.

It was on one such night, again sat up on the top floor, that my naivety came to an crashing end. I watched intently as a couple were canoodling outside one of the rooms. He was fumbling with the keycard in the lock, his mind more interested in the gorgeous blonde wrapped around his shoulders than in what he was doing with the key. Finally the room opened and they almost fell inside. The door shut behind them, and all of a sudden I was simply imagining them continuing their embrace inside. There was something inside, just a little something, but definitely a part of me which wished it was me in that fervent embrace. I'd noticed it before on other nights, but the more time I spent up here the more aroused I felt and the more I wanted to be involved. I knew it was wrong to feel this way but I just couldn't help it. What started out as an odd half hour or so at the end of the day was now consuming an hour or two as I watched events unfold, fantasising over what may be.

I was broken out of my dream by another door opening at the side of the one where the canoodling couple had just disappeared. A man exited and headed off towards the bar. He was rather attractive, I guess mid to late thirties, smartly dressed in slacks and a shirt albeit the shirt itself was untucked from his trousers and his hair was just a tad ruffled. Physically he was relatively well built, his toned body radiating fitness without being overly muscled. The biggest attraction though was his deeply tanned skin. I was already pondering whether he would be the same colour all over when my eye moved back to the room itself. Whether he had realised or not, he had left the door open and what was a girl to do when a door was left open. Without waiting to be asked I was already peering inside.

The room was spectacular. There were floor to ceiling windows giving a perfect view out across the expanse of the ocean. Furniture wise it was almost a little boudoir, a four poster bed on one wall and a couple of sofas on the other. In between was a large furry rug. I was concentrating so much on the furniture that I barely registered the figure of a young woman appearing into view from inside the room. If I didn't know better I would have said she was wearing nothing but a large shirt, a man's shirt by the look of it. A moment later and she was accompanied by a man, maybe he was the owner of the shirt. He was dressed in nothing but his birthday suit.

I was engrossed, staring, as I watched the couple through the open door. The shirt didn't last that long as he simply lifted it up and over her head. I was right, she wasn't wearing anything else and boy was she one beautiful woman. I guess you could say she had the body to die for, ample pert breasts, well-toned body and long blonde hair. At least she had hair up top, as I quickly noticed she was shaved bare down below. Just like the previous couple, they too embraced in a deep kiss, their bodies practically fused together as they stood embracing each other.

The more I watched, the more I started to feel a little hot again. No, not hot in an uncomfortable embarrassing sort of way, but just hot. I could feel it inside, down below. It was a feeling I hadn't enjoyed for quite some years. I knew it was wrong but I was so wanting the feeling to continue . . . to grow.

She lifted her legs up, wrapping her thighs around his waist and her ankles behind his cute ass. Her lips never broke away as she draped her body around his. Dreaming, I found myself locked in that same kiss, my tongue gently tracing the outline of my own lips as I imagined his soft skin up against mine. My hand caressed my left breast, massaging the flesh gently through the fabric of my top. I could already feel my hard nipples straining at their confines as I became one with my fantasy.

Still locked in their embrace, the couple had backed up against the floor to ceiling window. She dropped her legs to the floor to steady herself before reaching down with one arm. I couldn't quite see what she was doing but her expression gave the game away. I could hear her gasp and watch her body almost lift off the floor as he forced his manhood up inside.

By now my hand had reached down my body and, having hiked up the short hem of my skirt, was starting to massage my heat down below. I was hot as hell with just one desire, which was to relieve myself before anyone paid me any attention. I never imagined that being a voyeur could be so arousing, but the show playing out in front of me was seriously hot and so was I. My gentle stroking through the fabric of my knickers was becoming a tad harder and quicker. I was sure I could feel the dampness seeping through from inside as I worked my pussy lips.

I continued to watch the passions in front of me. She had her legs wrapped back around his waist as her pussy was being pummeled, her back hard up against the glass window. From the view on her face she was close to the edge, and from the heat inside I wasn't so far off either. I was so engrossed that I barely noticed a stranger approach from behind until he was practically sitting at the side of me. I rushed to pull down my skirt suddenly ashamed at my brazen lust.

"Hot, aren't they," he whispered from the side.

I turned my head towards the stranger. It was the hunk who had left the room earlier. He sat there with a bottle of champagne in one hand.

"Don't stop on my behalf," he continued, looking down at my ruffled skirt. "I can see you were enjoying the performance."

I should have been shocked. My mind told me to turn and run, but there just was something about this guy. Something I had been missing for so long. I felt his hand gently cup my knee. I tensed, the feeling inside was reminiscent of that first time with Javed, and I found myself biting my inner lip. There was a nervous excitement and at the same time I was scared. Nobody had touched my bare leg before, other than my darling husband. Now though a total stranger had his hand on my knee.

"She's my wife," came the explanation "and I love her deeply."

His fingers slowly made their way up my leg as he continued to talk to me. I was enthralled with the story he was telling and without even thinking I spread my legs wider as he continued his gentle trail up my leg.

"But . . ." I whispered nervously "doesn't it upset you to see her like that? I mean, your wife with another man?"

He laughed, a quiet chuckle before continuing.

"That's what makes our love so much stronger. It is a matter of trust and freedom. We love each other so intimately but sometimes in a relationship you just need a little bit more. That's where the freedom comes into it. We are both free to be ourselves. together or apart, yet we know we will come back to each other happier and stronger."

"I don't understand," came my confused reply.

"So tonight she wanted it a little more primal whereas I prefer it a bit more sensual. I love to watch though, and it seems you do too. I could see the way you were working your own sex in time with their passionate lovemaking."

I shivered as his fingers touched the fabric of my knickers, gently resting across the dampness over my pussy. I pulled my legs together slightly, a bit late by now as this only pushed his fingers harder onto my damp pussy.

"Relax, don't be nervous. Let me help you continue what you started."

I looked him in the face and he smiled back at me. I watched as he leant in close and kissed me on the lips, gently caressing my soft lips with his. My heart skipped a beat at the feel of that kiss and I relaxed a little, allowing my legs to ease apart once more. His fingers were now massaging my sex in small quick circles, and my breathing was becoming faster as I felt the fires build within. I turned away once more, closed my eyes and concentrated on my own pleasure. He was drawing his small circles right over the hard nub of my clit, sending waves of pleasure up inside. At the back of my mind I could hear the screams from afar as the his wife came hard on her lover's cock, I assumed still pressed up against that glass window. It was almost subliminal now, as all I could focus on was the hard rub of his fingers as they continued to push me closer to the edge.

I could feel the gentle caress of his lips on the side of my neck and, eyes still closed, I turned towards him once more. Our mouths met, his spare arm around my shoulder holding me close. We kissed deeply, his tongue probing away at mine. My breathing was becoming ragged as we continued, the fire in my loins now reaching fever point. Then it happened. I gasped into his mouth as the big one hit. There was something different though in the way I came. Maybe it was the excitement of doing something which was wrong, maybe it was being scared at the thought that I could be caught at any moment or maybe it was just a wanton outpouring of lust as I threw away the shackles of Little Miss Conservative. Whatever it was, it just felt so good.

Finally, minutes later, we broke away from our embrace.

"Thank you," I whispered still breathing rapidly.

"No, thank you . . . " there was a pause before he continued. "I'm sorry, I never asked your name."

"Bablee," I replied.

"Thank you Bablee, sometimes it's giving pleasure which is more important than receiving. Another night will be just for me and my wife. I'd love it if you could join us. What do you say?"

I paused. I knew what I wanted to say but it still didn't seem right.

"I don't know," came my reply as I sat on the fence.

"Well, at least think about it Bablee. If you change your mind I'd be very happy for you to join us."

Another peck on the lips and then my lover of the last few minutes rejoined his wife. As he shut the door to their room he glanced back over his shoulder and blew me the gentlest of kisses. It suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't asked his name either. To me he would simply be that vision of tanned beauty.

This had been the first night of the rest of my life. I didn't know it yet but I was soon to reveal much more about myself that I ever could have imagined.

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I put the pen down for the night and closed up the notepad. Javed had already turned in and it was probably about time I joined him. Writing about my adventures was almost as big a turn on as being there, and I had a naughty twinkle in my eye as I made my way up to the bedroom.

For now, continuing my tale of self-discovery could wait until another day. I had another pressing issue to take care of. I just hoped Javed wasn't asleep yet.