Walt's Gift Ch. 02

[Walt's Gift was submitted by Scorpio44 (me) in 2007. Reading it will answer lots of the questions that might arise from reading this chapter. Quickly: Walt was my Dad. When he was dying he asked me to take care of his apartment building and the women who lived there. I discovered he loved them and they loved him. I decided to love them too. That meant moving to California. This chapter begins on the flight from California to Newark to get my stuff. The woman with me is one of the women from my apartments.]

The flight was long. In my head, I kept reminding myself it wasn't quite five hours, but my head, back and legs also reminded me the seats were built for people who were five feet six and weighed less than a hundred and thirty pounds. I'm six foot three and weigh a little over two-thirty. After ninety minutes of flight I got up and walked the aisle three times. Ninety minutes more and I walked to the back and used the head. I then walked the aisle two more times. I asked Pat to let me know when we were an hour away from landing. She let me know and I walked the aisle twice more. In between Pat and I talked. I asked a lot about her childhood, her young adult years and what was important to her.

She had grown up in a family full of boys. Three older brothers and two younger. Everyone was athletic. Two brothers went to college playing baseball. One brother played pro hockey in Canada for five years. She lit up telling me stories about her brothers. She told me about her mother and it was as if she was telling me about a servant. Her memories were of the service she provided, not of anything personal. Her mother was a good cook, kept the house clean and catered to all the men around her.

When I asked about her Dad she slowed down, almost became cold.

"Dad was my biggest fan until my senior year. I played volleyball and I swam. Dad came to the meets and my games. He cheered for every player but loudest for me. At an away game my senior year he arrived late and sat in the stands away from the people he knew. Someone in the stands commented that I was the lezzie leader of the team. The comment was echoed by three other people. It crushed my Dad. He wasn't a liberal man. He had been raised in a strict Irish Catholic home and me being different wasn't ever going to be Ok."

"What happened?" I held her hand.

"After the games were over we showered and were ready to go home. I didn't know anything about what someone had said. I came out of the locker room ready to ride home with my Dad. He was gone. I caught a ride with another family and when I got home my bags were packed and I no longer was his daughter. Until I rented apartment two from Harvey I've been basically alone."

"No short term relationships, long term?"

"Until 1988 I kept hoping and praying he would let me come back. I couldn't have him come to offer that to me and find someone there. I wore out more than one rosary praying for his heart to soften."

"What happened in 1988?"

"He had a heart attack and died. He was sitting in the stands of my youngest brother's baseball game."

"Did that free you?"

"No. I thought it would. But I believed he could see me better after he died. He could hear my thoughts and feel my feelings and they were not the thoughts he believed were right. I moved away, hoping he'd stay in Detroit. I became a trucker, drove thousands of miles a year. On a run to Los Angeles I met someone and she helped me get a local driving job in L.A. We rented an apartment down near the beach. I was forty-two and had my first romantic live in relationship."

"And?"

"We rented number Two. Harvey had owned the place about a year when we rented from him. He was a good friend. He knew we were more than roommates when he rented to us. He was a good listener. We both trusted him and liked how he treated all of us. Bonnie drove bob-tails and loved it. She saw herself as every bit as good a trucker as any man. Swore as loud and as often. Could drink as hard, spit as far and do things with a truck that most men wouldn't even try."

"Where is she now?"

On the second Friday of August 1999 she came home late. We were supposed to go to an event at the gay and lesbian center in Hollywood. It started at eight. She came in, drunk, at midnight. I was dressed to go out and asked where she had been. A fight started. She broke a beer bottle on me, broke my collarbone and cut me pretty badly. Harvey heard it and he and the cops pulled her off me. I haven't seen her since. Harvey took me into his apartment for over a month. He got me patched up, took care of me and loved me. It wasn't about sex. It was love."

"Dad said Harvey was special."

"I was healing when I met Walt. He came by to help Harvey fix some things. Harvey was spending lots of time with me. They were like brothers. Harvey was the older brother."

"So, you never left."

"At first I told myself it was that I had nowhere else to go. Then I realized that Harvey was my best friend. Walt was my other best friend. We were hanging out with Walt to see if we could cheer him up. His wife had died and he was lost. One night the four of us were having dinner on the patio and..."

"Four of you?"

"Helen was there too. Harvey stood up to go to his place to use the bathroom and he took three steps and collapsed. He stayed unconscious all the way to the hospital. The next day he and Walt started planning for Walt to move to the apartments. He moved in and we all took care of Harvey . He lasted longer than the doctors thought he would. By the time Harvey died Walt was here and Walt was alive again. Helping Harvey and us gave him a purpose. He had adopted us as his new family. He promised Harvey he would be here for us."

"When... maybe I shouldn't ask."

"When did it become more than friends? I can tell you exactly. The night after Harvey 's funeral we sat outside very late and we talked. All of us. I held Walt's hand and Helen held the other one. When it was very late Walt said, "Maybe I'm just old, but... I don't ever want to sleep alone again." He looked at me and said, "Would you sleep with me? Allow me to hold you close and share the loss of Harvey tonight?" I helped him up and we went to bed together. It was the first time I had ever been in bed with a man. He held me all night. When we woke up I knew I would love him for the rest of his life and mine."

On our side of the airplane there were three seats together. I had the aisle. Pat sat beside me, holding my hand. When she stopped speaking the woman sitting next to her put her hand on Pat's arm. It was not an intrusion or an invasion of our privacy, exactly. Something about the way the woman did it made the act a simple "I heard you and I am touched." Even though we hadn't included her in the conversation overtly we knew that she was there inches away all the time we were talking. Pat took her hand and for quite a while none of us said anything.

The pilot did a great job of making the transition between being airborne and rolling on the ground toward the terminal smooth. As we taxied Pat turned to our seatmate and asked, "May I know your name?"

"People call me Nan. It's short for something. Should I apologize for listening? I attempted to mind my own business but I failed."

"Assuming we had privacy in a small room with a hundred and sixty other people in it must be an illusion. No apology necessary. Something I said resonated with you?"

"Yes. I doubt we have the time or the privacy here I would like for me to say more, but yes, something in me resonates with things you shared."

She hesitated and I spoke. "If you can join us for dinner, I know a wonderful restaurant that serves delightful food in a private, quiet atmosphere."

"I have never been here before, so I accept. I need to get to the Holiday Inn on Frontage road at some point. I have a room reserved there for three nights."

"No problem. I know where that is. My roommate is picking us up. Oh, I should correct that. My soon-to-be-ex-roommate is picking us up. We can all go to dinner, then take you to the Holiday Inn." I said.

Pat asked, "Aren't you meeting someone? Are you here on business?"

She smiled and answered, "I'm here for a job interview. At nine tomorrow morning I will be being interviewed and perhaps changing my life."

"I'm nosey. If you don't want to answer any question I ever ask just tell me it's none of my business. I'll back off and not be hurt or angry. What kind of work are you applying for?"

"For the last five years I've been managing the payroll department for a corporation in Fresno. They are about to change to a whole new payroll system and the company I'm interviewing with tomorrow likes the system I already know."

I gathered our carry-on bags and the ladies followed me off the plane. On the walk to baggage they talked, I guided them and listened. At baggage I called John my roomie and he was ten minutes away. He brought the minivan that belonged to the company where he worked rather than my Mustang. With our bags and now four of us the minivan was a great idea.

We got our bags and met John at the curb. Introductions were made. Pat motioned me towards the front seat and she sat with Nan on the bench seat of the van. John and I decided on our neighborhood Italian restaurant. In fifteen minutes we were parked and inside. During the fifteen minute ride I had called and Geno at the restaurant had set a table for us. John and I had been steady customers for six years. As we walked in Geno asked, "Would you like menus or are you adventurers?"

Pat said, "Adventurers!" I nodded. Geno's Dad is the chef. He loves when people let him play. He came to our table and quizzed the ladies about foods they like, wines they like and things they don't like. Geno brought us antipasto and a nice wine. When the entrée's arrived the chef, Poppa, delivered with his son and two daughters. All four plates sat on the table at the same moment. John said, "It is our custom that when the food arrives we do not eat it. First you feast with your nose. Smell the aromas. Savor the blends of smells and the warmth rising from the treasures before us."

I had memorized Poppa's speech too so I continued, "Then you may feast with your eyes. See the way the food is presented. It is art. Turn the plate. Look at it from every angle. Blend the sight with the smells." I paused and Poppa finished.

"Take a small bite from near the edge of your plate. Hold it in your mouth for a few moments. Then chew. Notice the different flavors, the blend of textures, herbs, spices and taste the special ingredient. No other restaurant on the east coast uses that secret ingredient." He smiled and watched as we did as we were instructed.

Pat spoke first. "I taste it! I know what the secret ingredient is!"

Poppa stepped to her and said, "Do not say it! Whisper it to me." He bent near her and she whispered in his ear. When he stood back up, tall and proud he smiled and said, "She cannot pay for her dinner. She tasted it. She recognized it. Enjoy!"

He strutted back to the kitchen. Pat beamed. It had taken me many meals before I tasted it. It was there, in every meal Poppa ever made.

Nan asked, "What is it?"

Pat answered, "When you were little was there something your Mom or Dad made, special, for you?"

Nan lit up. "Yes! Mom made a special custard dessert for me. I loved it."

"Did you ever get the recipe?"

"Yes, but it never tasted as good as when Mom made it."

"You left out the ingredient only she could put in the custard. It wasn't on the three by five card. It wasn't in the cupboard. It isn't on a shelf in Poppa's restaurant."

Nan started to speak. Pat raised a hand and said, "Take another bite. Hold it in your mouth and close your eyes. Feel what's there."

John was looking at Pat with wonder on his face. Neither of us had ever seen someone get it so quickly and deeply. We waited and suddenly Nan's eyes popped open. "I know what it is. I can feel it." Her eyes filled and sparkled. John put his hand on her shoulder and said, "I don't care what he charges. This is the best restaurant on the east coast because he puts that much love in every bite."

Nan took another bite and closed her eyes. When she swallowed she said, "I feel like eating this is like a religious experience. We should whisper. It's like eating in church."

"Get ready." I said, "The hymn is about to begin."

Geno and Poppa came out of the kitchen, singing. It was a duet from an opera. I have no idea what the words are or what opera they are from. They sing from the same place they cook from. The passion, joy and full expression are complete. They wander through the tables, singing, touching people and loving every breath, every moment of being alive. We stood and clapped and when they came to our table Pat kissed both men. While she kissed Geno, Poppa sang. When she kissed Poppa, Geno sang.

Geno stood near Nan and when Poppa sang again Nan kissed Geno's cheek. Geno answered his father's words and she kissed Poppa. Everyone clapped and they moved on to another table. In ten minutes the singing was over and Poppa was back in the kitchen.

We got to the restaurant at eight. It was well after ten when we left. I stopped John from putting keys in the ignition and I asked, "Nan, can we talk for a few moments?"

"Yes." She was suddenly serious. They joy we had seen for two hours retreated and she was pulling back again.

"I want you to close your eyes and picture the room at the Holiday Inn." She closed her eyes.

"You close and lock the door. Put your suitcase on the floor and feel the room. What do you feel?"

"I'm alone. I'm cold. The room is cold. The only sound is from the fan in the heater."

"Ok. Now, open your eyes. Look at each of us for a few seconds." She did as I asked.

"Close them again. Picture being in our apartment. Two bedrooms, a living room, two bathrooms, a balcony. The door closes. Your suitcase is on the floor. What do you feel?"

"I can feel all three of you, close to me. I can still feel the laughter, the taste of our evening together. The apartment is warm."

"Open your eyes. Where would you like to spend the night? We have plenty of room at the apartment. Or, you can go to the Holiday Inn. Your choice."

She looked at Pat. Pat said, "Can you boys give us a minute to talk, privately?"

John and I got out and stood in front of the van.

"What do you think they're discussing?" John asked.

"If I was to guess Nan wants to know who she will be sleeping with. If she chooses to sleep with you can you not be a macho man? Can you just hold her and not make a move on her?"

"You're serious? She's beautiful! How am I supposed to not hit on her?"

""Ok. I can promise she will not be sleeping with you. She will either be in bed with me, with me and Pat, with Pat or alone on the couch."

"I don't get it."

"She doesn't need or want shagging. She needs and wants the closeness, the love."

"Oh." He was quiet for a minute. Pat knocked on the window and motioned us back inside. He said, "I can do it! If she chooses me I can give her the closeness and the love."

We got back inside. John still didn't start the van.

Nan said, "I want to go to your apartment. I need it understood that I'm afraid of both of you. I don't have a pleasant history with men. I like both of you and your apartment for the night is scary." She took a deep breath.

John spoke. "I'm worried too. When I drove to the airport I figured Nick and Pat would be sharing Nick's bedroom and I would be alone. When you joined us I figured you would be going to a hotel. But, by the end of dinner I was hoping you would come home with us. But, I'm conflicted. I think you're beautiful and any red blooded American heterosexual man would want you in his bed. I do! And, here's the conflict, I don't want to have sex with you unless and until we're a lot closer friends. What I want is to hold you, savor you, and wake up with your energy right next to me."

Nan said, "Then start the van. I'm ready." John started the van, winked at me and drove us home. Nan called and asked if she could cancel her reservation. They charged her for the night but cancelled the next two.

John winked at me again.

As soon as we were inside the apartment we turned the bathrooms over to the ladies and they informed us they only needed one. They picked mine. John and I took turns in his.

When they came out into the living room both were in big t-shirts. John was in his bathroom in the shower. Nan went in and closed the door to their bedroom. Pat grabbed my hand and led me to my bedroom. She took off the t-shirt and helped me out of the clothes I'd been in since California. We showered. I shaved.

In bed I was gentle and as we joined we talked.

"If John told the truth Nan will ask him to join with her before breakfast."

"He told the truth about his behavior. He wants her. He's willing to wait."

"If she gets the job she might just take your half of this apartment."

"John will give her a good deal on the rent."

"He'd better."

We were too tired, too emotionally exhausted to actually mate. We fell asleep during foreplay. At about dawn I woke up needing to pee. I had to wait. Pat was already seated when my number came up.

When we got back in bed we resumed our joining and it went much better. We giggled and did our best to stay quiet enough to not wake John or Nan.

I heard John's alarm at seven. We decided to get up and get the sale started while John took Nan to her appointment. Our apartment was number 882 of 2155 apartments. The signs had been up for a week saying we were unloading things because I was moving. The signs said the sale started at eight. At seven-thirty-three the doorbell rang.

When I opened the door there were three people standing there. "I have to leave for work in half an hour. Could I look?" The first one said. I opened the door and from that moment until noon there was a steady stream of people walking in and carrying stuff out. At noon I closed the door with a sign on it.

"Everything is gone. I even sold a sack of trash before I could throw it out. Thank you all. Nick"

I called John on his cell and he said they were on their way home. He volunteered to bring sandwiches and things from the deli. He sounded happy.

When they walked in they were laughing. The apartment was pretty empty. We sat on the floor and ate sandwiches and pickles from the deli. Nan gave us her news.

"I had been told to expect a ninety minute interview. Twenty minutes into the interview I was taken to another room where four people were doing payroll. Mr. Johnson asked them if there was a problem. One woman said yes, and explained the problem. He turned to me and said, "Take it, please." Ten minutes later the problem was fixed and the woman, Barbara, knew how to fix it herself when it happened again. The interview was over. I have the job!"

"Wow! That's great!" We both said.

"They upped my starting salary too. But that's not all."

I asked, "What else?"

"I already have an apartment! This one!"

"Seriously?" Pat asked. Her face asked a dozen questions.

"Yes! I talked with John and he understands about me. He's willing to have me be just as I am, and that's a good place to start."

"Maybe I'm denser than I thought." I said, "But what are you talking about?"

"Nan is an untried Bi-sexual." John said. "Last night was the first time she has ever slept with a man, willingly. She has some experiences with women but as of this morning she has never had sex with a man."

She wrapped her arm around John's, looked up at him and said, "That probably won't be true by morning. Tired?"