Watery Eyes

"You may wear it, Ana, but you need to put on a cardigan," he said as he got up and moved past me. His thick hard cock brushed against my thigh, inches below my wet pussy, and I thought I was going to cream my tight panties right there. I was sure my cheeks were a bright shade of red as even I felt surprise at my excitement level after such a brief touch.

He held his place, knowing that we both felt it—and I was sure he enjoyed the added bonus of teasing me with his hard cock after not letting let me cum in several days . The last time, about three weeks ago, he used me on the Saint Andrew's cross for the first time. I closed my eyes and remembered the cold hardness of the metal around my ankles and wrists as my body was locked into place. For several days prior, he forbad me orgasms, building my sexual tension before that exhausting, long session.

Please. My wet pussy begs you. When I service you it brings me so much pleasure and pride, regardless if you allow me to orgasm or not, but my body is different. I ache and plead to cum hard. It can be around your fingers, your cock, your tongue...honestly, I will cum any place you want, just as long as my body gets some relief.

In my excitement, my plump pink lips involuntarily parted just a bit as he looked at me, holding his hard cock against me. I cannot explain it, but the hunger I saw in his eyes was breathtaking. He leaned into me a bit more, his crotch better nestled between my thighs, and I felt the entire length of his hardness. I held my breath, waiting for him to kiss me. My lips parted more and the tip of my tongue poked a bit further outside my mouth, waiting to be engaged.

I fidgeted. My thigh moved against his hardness, making my pussy wetter. I listened for a change in his breathing, a twitch in his face, or shift of his weight—anything to give me a clue on a next step.

Silence.

Impatience got the best of me and I said with some sass and cockiness, "Always such an appetite Sir. I swear that after two times this morning I thought you would be good until bed."

He looked me in the eyes and trailed his fingertips up my arm.

I let out a sigh of relief and smiled. My lips moved out of sheer eagerness and desperation. Just as he moved his fingers over my shoulder, across my collarbone, and up my neck, I went to speak and immediately stopped. All that came out was a short shallowly held breath.

The smile on his face turned stern. He pressed his forefinger across my throat with the rest of his large hand resting at the base of my neck.

I closed my eyes.

My whole body tensed as I realized my second mistake of the night, and to make it worse it was a repeat of my first just an hour ago. I cringed and winced—not in pain or fear but in anger towards myself.

Shit. You cannot be so stupid, Juliana. He was quiet to see if you learned your lesson in patience.

His hand wrapped around my neck and backed me up against the wall, not hard but with a controlled pressure that got my attention. My back pressed against the cold wall caused me to shiver. My nipples hardened from the unexpected cold, and other reasons against the will of my mind.

"Juliana," he said, followed by a silence long enough to make me conscious of my beating heart that we could both hear and the tease of his throbbing cock against me.

"Whose are you?" he asked.

I quickly replied without even needing to have thought about it, "Yours".

His pursed lips and lowered eyebrows said enough and I realized my latest infraction that evening.

"Yours, Sir," I said with an uneasy voice.

Silence. His body did not move and the tightness with which he pressed his body against mine allowed no movement of my own. I felt the tautness of his stance. His eyes fixated on mine, staring right through me, locking my gaze though I desperately wished to avoid his glare. Though stern, he exemplified a stoic calmness contrasted with my frenzied thoughts.

I cannot believe I fucked this up. Patience. Patience is all that is asked of me. How can I not have learned this already? Maybe I am not the true submissive I thought I was. Sure he has reassured me that I am one of a kind, submissive in a way he has only imagined but never seen, but he has to be wrong. A true submissive would not be this disappointing. Even if he decides to use me tonight, I will not have deserved it.

I took a deep breath, felt my chest try to expand against his, to fight the urge, but a sole tear slid down my face. A hunger rose from the pit of my stomach, a desire for him to use me, so I could feel worthy to stand in his presence, to feel of some use, but the first tear was followed by several others and yet no new movement from either of us. I opened my mouth hoping he would take advantage of the availability...but no. The urge to please him mixed with the terrible guilt and disappoint in myself.

Glistening streaks ran over my high cheek bones as I gave way to the spiral of self-flagellation. He stepped back several feet and I immediately took a few deep breaths. My erect stance shifted as I hunched inward, hands hiding my face as tears continued to flow. He reached into his pocket and took out a handkerchief. The gentleness of his touch as he wiped my cheeks comforted me. His cold glare shifted to a warmth and nurturing beyond words.

"Yes," he finally responded. "You are mine to use and push as I see fit," he said, "as well as to love and to care for." The back of his hand replaced the handkerchief for his last stroke against my cheek.

With that he turned to walk out the door, pausing briefly and requesting, "Please collect yourself and join me in the living room." He paused again and dipped his head in clear disappointment. "You may kneel, knees together and head down, to the right of the chair tonight. I realize it is your favorite show, but you obviously need to be reminded of your position, yes?"

I nodded and whispered, "Yes, Sir." He left the room without any reaction, so that I could take a few minutes to collect myself.

Once I heard him turn the corner, I sat on the bed and stared at my hands in my lap.

I know that he is trying to shape me—free me from myself—but why does it have to be so hard? I cannot stand this rollercoaster of emotions that I have been on lately. I am stronger than this...and yet I can I cannot shake these feelings or settle in for the ride. His intensity has not changed, but my need for him and my commitment to him has changed. It has grown.

I find that his needs now come before my own, and when they do not...it saddens me for I have failed to trust him to care for me. I place a limit on us.

I heard him clear his throat and I immediately went to the living room. Never making eye contact, I knelt on the floor beside him. My head was down and my eyes to the floor as I listened and he watched our favorite show. It is what I deserved...

Moments before the show ended he looked down at me and said, "Prepare for bed Juliana." I frowned, though thankfully he could not see me, because I did not even get to hear the ending.

"Yes Sir," I replied. I slowly got up and walked towards the bathroom as my feet dragged and my head stayed down. I prepared myself with the same ritual as I have for months.

...

Once we were both in bed he pulled me close. Being about six inches shorter than him, I fit perfectly underneath his chin. His strong arms gently held me and all the bad in the day washed away.

I felt my hard nipples press through the thin lace against his hairy chest. As I wiggled to get comfortable in his arms his hard cock settled against my pussy's lips. He leaned his upper body away from me. I looked up at him to see his wide eyes staring back at me with his right brow and the corner of his mouth raised.

He wrapped his hands tighter around me and starting low at the crack of my ass, he slid his hand up the small of my back. I shivered under the light touch of his fingertips trailing up my back tickled my spine and then firmly gripped my neck from behind.

Immediately I tensed up as I felt his sizeable hand put pressure on my breathing. This time felt different from earlier, less about getting my attention and more about controlling my breathing—something we both enjoy. The first time he tightened his grip around my throat I was nervous, but the constant and steady pressure made my breathing shallow. The uniformity of pressure caused me to never completely lose my breath—until he made me cum harder than I had ever done before. Between the memories and the moment, pure and utter excitement coursed through me. My pussy quickly became wet.

My hot breath hit his chest repeatedly. He grabbed a handful of my black curly hair and pulled my head back. Slowly, I opened my eyes to lock with his. My plump lips instinctually parted and I watched him smirk as if he thought my excitement and need for him comical.

I tilted my head up to get my lips closer to his, but he tightened his grip and jerked my head forcibly back. As I let out a moan, a mix of pleasure and minor pain, he moved his head down. His tongue tickled my earlobe with his tongue before slowly licking down my neck. The contrast of his rough grip and the gentle touch of his mouth was too much to bear and I let out a soft moan. But that quickly changed to a whimper as he sunk his teeth into my delicate skin. Where my neck meets my shoulder is such a sweet spot for me...and he knows it. I bit my lip to keep from crying out into his ear.

With my eyes squeezed shut, I concentrated on him piercing my skin. The pain felt like he might have broken skin, but my body did not care. My neck told me to use my safe word, but I was the wettest I had been all day and the combination of his hand and mouth on my neck was too pleasurable to have him stop.

He must have sensed my dilemma. He released me from his mouth and pulled me away from him. I gasped for air as he freed the hold around my neck. My chest heaved up and down as I caught my breath—though I did not remember holding it.

I looked up at him and immediately was held by his stare—unable to look away. He looked at me and then the floor several times. He gripped my hand, guided me off the bed with his lips straight across sternly and pointed to the ground. Quickly I got into kneeling position facing him.

He stood beside the bed and looked down at me. I followed his gaze and realized he was staring at my erect pink nipples. He gave a short nod and quickly moved his eyes further down to see the wetness between my legs. My cheeks reddened as I felt self-conscious. The silence was irrelevant as the scent of my wetness spoke volumes. I looked down at the floor and squeezed my legs together.

He leaned down, put his fingers beneath my chin, and tilted my head up. I expected a small smile, perhaps a glimmer of affection and endearment towards my shyness, but I was met with a harshness I am not used to. Not breaking his gaze, he took his foot and parted my knees—moving his foot further down my leg to ensure they were adequately separated.

"Now is not the time for modesty, Juliana, show me what you have been practicing." His voice made me tremble and my breathing quickened—but I was not scared. Every inch of my body reacted in fear, but my pussy's aroma and dampness proved otherwise.

I bit my lower lip and looked down to the ground to ensure I was directly in front of him. Then I clasped my hands behind my back, letting my prominent breasts swing free, my pink nipples hardened with excitement. After a deep breath, I took a quick look upward to see him, hoping for a more eased expression but I still met his unforgiving look, a coldness in his eyes that I had yet to see. My misstep in making eye contact made him glare down at me even more severely.

Immediately I lowered my head and closed my eyes. He preferred them closed—felt that better focused my senses on his cock.

Finally I will get some relief. Even if he does not touch me tonight, pleasing him is all I need. I smile slightly, still staring at the floor, as I realize how far he has brought me.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Good girl," as he stepped even closer between my legs. His big toe grazed my outer lips, picking up some of my fluid. I started to moan, but quickly stopped. He chuckled, "I can smell your sweet scent from here; you must love kneeling for me, slut."

"Yes, Sir," I quietly replied. I kept my head down but did open my eyes to see the glistening wetness on his toe.

Then he reached out to touch the puffy skin from his bite. I took a sharp breath in and held it; he knew it must hurt and be tender. Again I feel the paradox of pleasure and pain, not knowing whether to whimper or moan.

Instead I say, "Thank you, Sir, for marking me, my body is for you..."

Quickly he leaned down, and without a word forcibly opened my mouth. His thumb and forefinger held down my jaw. With his other hand, he undid the sole button on his boxers, pulled out his cock, and slapped it against my face several times. I paused with sudden shock, but my body instinctively reacted.

My tongue slid out of my mouth—eager to get a taste of his throbbing cock. I stared at the veins lining the outside as he thrust his cock into my open mouth.

Finally. After days of being denied, he is allowing me to taste the slight saltiness from the soft skin of his cock on my warm tongue. I cannot help but love the slickness between us.

Both of his hands suddenly grabbed my head and forced it back and forth over the length of his cock. I closed my eyes quickly—not wanting him to notice that I had opened them to catch a glimpse of his pulsating veins.

With my lips firmly circling his thick cock, I heard low guttural moans above me. The head of his cock hit the opening of my throat repeatedly. I squeezed my eyes shut. He taught me early on to focus all of my attention on the feel of his cock and the sounds of his pleasure. Being so in tune with his enjoyment, feeling his hardened cock inside my mouth made me wet. I moaned as well, showing him how excited he made me by fucking my mouth with his cock.

My tongue remained flat as his cock slid back and forth in my mouth—the head hitting the opening of my throat repeatedly. I wonder if he feels the slight vibrations from my moaning around his cock. The natural slick smoothness of the back of my throat increased with more of his pre-cum. While he pumped in and out of me I gagged several times, but this only seemed to motivate him to thrust faster and deeper. Tickling the back of my warm slippery throat, he paused with just the head of his cock in my mouth.

I took this as an opportunity to readjust my lips—firming them up around the tip of his cock perfectly at the ridge where his shaft met the head—and take a few deep breaths to instead of gasping for air as I had been. The tip of my tongue circled his throbbing head repeatedly. With my eyes still closed, I focused on the feel of his skin and the taste of his pre-cum. My pussy started to ache and rocked my hips back and forth to dissipate the pain from clenching deep inside my pussy. I moan louder and leaned into him.

"Eager are you?" he questioned. I heard the smirk in his voice. Usually I would be embarrassed, but I was too excited to care. I nodded slightly and leaned forward even more, attempted to claim more of his cock in my mouth.

With a swiftness that surprised me, he grabbed the back of my head and thrust his cock in deep. His balls pushed firmly against my chin and my nose pressed hard against his skin.

I cannot breathe. Relax...disappointing him is not an option. Breathe—ok, that is still not working.

My heart started to race as I struggled to not break position and squirm in front of him. I kept my mouth and throat open as the tip of his cock curved down the back of my throat and continued to block my airway.

"Breathe Juliana. Breathe," he said.

Breathe. It is ok. I have to breathe.

As I listened to his voice and repeated the words in my head it clicked. I started breathing through my nose and immediately the pounding in my chest started to subside. Every day for about fifteen minutes I have 'Dildo Training' as an assignment—five minutes in each hole. For my mouth I am to hold it as deep as I can and breathe from my stomach through my nose. Needless to say practice and application is very different—his cock is bigger and in deeper than I was ever able to push the dildo.

I felt the caress of his hand on my head. While his cock stuffed inside of my mouth blocked my airway, I assumed it was his signal to me that I did well. Internally I sighed in relief.

After a few moments, he shifted from tightly clutching my head with his hands to a gentler caress, again moving my mouth along his length. I settled back into position and relaxed my mouth once again, allowing him to push his way into my throat with ease.

This is what he expects from me, complete freedom to fuck my mouth knowing I will accept it without hesitation.

I tried to take a few deep breaths as he moved back and forth in my mouth. Looking down to see my chest heaving, I made the most of this time to try normalize my breathing—he never gave me long. Just as my breathing settled back to a normal tempo, he increased his pace, moving my head rigorously back and forth, not even pausing at each exit to allow me a breath.

He pulled me back until only the head remained in my mouth. I sucked the head as my lips moved over the ridge where it joins the shaft. He pulled my head back more, forcing me to glance up at him, as I watched him watching me as I hungrily sucked the tip of his cock. He moaned, and I tasted more pre-cum. While looking up at him, I licked my lips to ensure not a drop of his pre-cum escaped. The look on his face let me know he was nearly done.

I swallowed hard.

With fervor, he grabbed the back of my neck and pushed his cock deep into my mouth. He held my head still for a moment before moving quickly back and forth inside me. I glanced up to see the muscles in his chest and forearms tense. His head tilted back as he groaned. Between the strain of his muscles and the hardness of his cock, I knew that he was close, and trying very hard not to cum.

The movement back and forth caused me to struggle to stay upright. I moved my hands to his thighs to steady myself as he quickened the pace, but he swatted them away. "Keep your posture," he growled.

I fought to resume the pose with my hands folded behind my back but the feeling of his throbbing cock fucking my mouth motivated me. I did not want him to leave my mouth simply because I could not sit up straight—and I knew from experience that he would pull out of my mouth and cum into his hand if I did not maintain my posture. Believe me, I did not want to miss out on him filling my mouth with cum after everything that happened today. I needed his release.

He pushed his cock deep with each thrust and I felt him hit the back of my throat repeatedly. With my lips pressed against his groin at the base of his cock, his balls slapped against my chin again and again. I gagged. My eyes watered and he stared down at me, focusing on the wetness.

Immediately I sensed his veins pulsate.

In a gravelly, breathy voice he said, "Your training is finally paying off, girl."

He moaned, "All of those breathing exercises." He paused. I saw waves of ecstasy move across his face as my lips firmly squeezed around his cock, "and daily dildo practice ...it shows."

A deep ache in my pussy grew as I heard his words.

His praise is all I want, all I need.

He did not seem deterred at all by my tears as one slid down my cheek. I struggled to stay in position as he forcibly moved me back and forth. His moaning pushed me further and his pleasure challenged me to accept every thrust eagerly.