When I Think About Cheatin'

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How a young couple deal with a cheating spouse.
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DG Hear
DG Hear
5,680 Followers

Thank you to Techsan for editing my story and making it a much better read. Not a lot of sex in this story.

Note from Jake Rivers:

DG Hear and I worked together doing the "Back Up Buddy" and "Hey, Joe!" stories and then collaborating on "Wish Me Luck, The Sequel." This was in addition, of course, to our stories in the two writing invitational's I put together on "This Bed of Rose's" and "El Paso."

So we decided to try it again. DG is writing a story based on Gretchen Wilson's great song, "When I Think About Cheatin'" and I am doing one on Tanya Tucker's classic, "Almost Persuaded."

The theme is temptation and how two women deal with it. We hope you enjoy the stories.

Why do so many marriages fail? I read a lot of stories and there are a number of reasons. I went to the Internet to see what a divorce web site had to say. Here was their opinion.

Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others.

They are:

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity

There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above. They are:

Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution

I realized after reading this list that cheating is a part of almost all of these. It's like which came first - the cheating or the poor communication? The cheating or the financial problems? Cheating or failed expectations? I think you get the idea.

We live in a world where sex is out there 24/7. Drugs, alcohol, immorality, sex is everywhere. Every magazine, almost every television show, the Internet is loaded with it. For a marriage to last, a couple has to work extremely hard at it or accept the consequences. Last I heard fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Second marriages don't fair a whole lot better.

Look! I'm not preaching to you. I'm one of the statistics; my marriage is on its way to ending and I'm still trying to save it. She was the best thing that I ever had and I fucked it up. I was one immature idiot who couldn't keep his dick in his pants.

I was married for seven years to my girlfriend from high school. I guess we were too immature to get married in the first place. She got pregnant at eighteen; I was nineteen. Our daughter Stephanie was born and, even though I loved her, I guess I kind of held her responsible for having to get married. How stupid is that? I blamed a little innocent girl for being born. I also blamed her mother for not using protection. I tried blaming everyone but myself.

I found a job in a local factory and did make decent money, thanks to my dad for getting me the job. Diane, my wife, was a sweet woman. She wasn't what you call gorgeous or beautiful but she was like the girl next door, the kind that grows on you. In fact she was the girl next door.

In my junior year of high school her family moved here. We just became friends at first. By our senior year we found out we liked a lot of the same things. We both were going to go to college but the pregnancy ended that thought. For me it was all right. I wasn't book smart to begin with. I was only going because my parents wanted me to go. Diane, on the other hand, wanted to become a nurse.

The first couple years of our marriage were pretty good. I worked and she stayed home and took care of Steph. We had sex all the time. I guess being two young kids it was on our minds all the time. She was a pretty willing participant.

Diane got pregnant with our second child and things seem to change. She was never feeling good and sex was pretty much off the table. In her sixth month of pregnancy, she lost the baby. She really felt bad. I was a still too immature to handle it even though I tried to comfort her. I said something stupid like, "It will be okay; we still have Steph and we can try again for another kid if you want."

God! How dumb can I be? I now realize how stupid and immature I was.

She yelled at me and called me names. Neither of us handled it well. We began to spend more time apart. I would start going out more after work with the guys. I was on the afternoon shift, which meant I didn't get off work till after eleven. Of course we went to bars and I started messing around with other women. Most of them were older bar type women who like younger men. I worked in the factory with a couple of them. Don't get me wrong here. Not all women that work in a factory are looking for guys, but there are some. The first time I took a strange woman to her house and she invited me in, I was a bit nervous.

She started undressing and there was no question in what was about to happen. She undid my jeans and dropped them to the floor and started giving me head. I have to tell you it felt great. This woman knew her way around a cock. When I started fucking her she told me to slow down. We weren't in a race. It was so different from sex with Diane. This woman showed me what to do to make her get off. Of course I enjoyed it too.

I felt bad after leaving her house and headed home to my family. My euphoria ended and I started feeling guilty. I had just cheated on my wife. When I got home Diane was asleep. I took a quick shower to get the sex smell off of me and went to bed. I promised myself that it would be a one-time thing but that only lasted about a month and I was doing it again. After that I was having sex with different women at least once a month or more. I wasn't really sure why I was doing it … I think part of it was getting away with it.

After losing the baby, Diane started night school to become a nurse. Her parents were footing the bill so it wasn't costing me anything. She went to school in the evening and her mom or my mom would watch Steph.

Diane and I argued all the time about me coming home late. She accused me of having affairs but of course I denied it. Then I began wondering about Diane and whether she was being honest with me or whether she was having affairs also.

Diane started exercising regularly also and was dressing nice for school, not necessarily sexy but she was looking pretty good. I had been wondering if she was having affairs. It's funny when I think back about my cheating. I honestly believe that men and women who cheat on their spouses are more paranoid that their spouses are cheaters also.

I watched Diane's movements and actions all the time. I went on the computer and checked the web sites she went on and e-mails to see if she was being faithful to me. How stupid is that? I was being unfaithful and making sure she wasn't.

We didn't go out together very often, but when we did I always kept my eye on her. I watched who she talked to and if she spent time with anyone in particular. I'd have too much to drink and almost accuse her of having an affair. She would yell and scream back at me whenever we got into an argument. She wasn't afraid to speak up but at the same time she could be this warm, gentle human being that was growing on me.

When Steph was five years old and started school I switched to the day turn. I was there in the evenings to watch her while Diane went to school. I began to love this little girl. I mean really love her. I looked forward to getting home to play with her and take her to the park. In her earlier years she was just a cute baby who ate and cried. Of course I had strong feelings for her because she was my daughter but now I realized how much she meant to me. She was my flesh and blood. I helped make her.

I felt bad not being a bigger part of her life since her birth. I realized we only go around once and I had wasted those first few years. Steph didn't care about the past, she just liked being with me now. I'd pick her up from school and we would eat out at some burger joint or order in a pizza whenever Diane had school.

Diane and I got along but we always seemed to argue. After one big argument I walked out and went to the bar. The cause of the argument was that she didn't come home after school. Instead she said she went out with her friends just like I always do with my friends.

Of course as I mentioned, I would go find an easy fuck so of course I applied the same actions to Diane. I accused her of having an affair. The shit hit the fan. She threw her books at me and I walked out the door. I went to the bar and picked up this bar sleaze that I knew would spread her legs if I just bought her a few drinks. We left together and I went to her apartment. It was a whole in the wall a couple of doors down from the bar.

She took off her skirt and I went right to fucking her. Her pussy was sloppy wet and all I wanted to do was get even with Diane for what I thought was cheating on me. This woman meant absolutely nothing to me. I just fucked her hard. I didn't care if it hurt her. I was thinking about Diane fucking someone at the time and my jealousy was all that was on my mind.

I looked up and at the door there stood Diane with tears running down her face.

"You fucking worthless bastard. I knew you were cheating on me for years but I can't believe you were willing to give up your family for this slut. You fucking son-of-a-bitch. I'm going to a lawyer tomorrow and apply for a divorce. If you show up at my door tonight, I'll blow your fucking head off with your own gun."

I didn't say anything and neither did the woman I was with. My cock just died and I pulled it out of her sloppy pussy and fastened up my jeans. I told her that it was my wife and I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I apologized to her and left. I rode by my house but was afraid to take a chance on going in. Diane had a temper bad enough that her threat could be for real. I wasn't about to take that chance.

I stopped by my parents and slept on the couch. I told my dad that I had made a stupid mistake and Diane caught me. There was no use lying about it. I'm sure if anyone asked Diane she would be telling them the truth.

---------------------------

The next morning I called Diane from work and she said that we were through. She said that I have cheated on her for the last time. She wanted nothing more to do with me. At the same time I knew she was crying. I always hated hearing her cry.

I asked her if we could talk about it and she said that she knew it wasn't the first time, but it definitely was the last. She was going to the lawyer and start divorce proceedings. There was nothing more to discuss. When I asked about Steph she told me she would never take Steph away from me. I could call the next day and we could set up some type of visitation schedule.

It's true that you really don't know what you have till you lose it. Diane would hardly talk to me the first couple of weeks. She said I could stop by twice a week and see Steph. I could also have her every other weekend. It was fine for a start. Whenever I would stop by the house Steph came running out to see me. We would take drives and I would take her over to see my mom and dad.

I would always ask her about her mother and she would always say she seemed sad and ask me when I was coming home to stay with her and mommy.

"What did Mommy say to you, Sweetheart? I asked Steph.

"She said you were a bad boy and she didn't want to see you anymore and then she started crying. What did you do, Daddy?"

"It's something between me and your mommy. You just keep loving her. She needs you right now. We're both here for you. If you ever need me, just call me; you know my number."

Life went on for the next few months. I rented a cheap apartment close to our house. I wanted to be as near to my family as possible. I saw more and more of Steph while her mom was finishing night school. Our divorce was going to be final in about a month. Diane never talked to me about the cheating. Anytime I talked to her it was only concerning Steph. It was like she was writing me out of her life. I wasn't even invited to her graduation from nursing school but I went anyway.

I was so proud of her crossing the stage and getting her degree. She started working at the local hospital full time. Either her parents or my parents watched Steph when I wasn't available. I wanted my family back so much but it didn't look like it was going to happen.

I was on my way home from work thinking about Diane and Steph when I got broadsided by another vehicle.

When I woke up I couldn't move my head. I was scared shitless. I looked up and out of the corner of my eye I saw my mom there waiting beside my bed.

"What happened, Mom? The last thing I can remember is being hit by a car. I can't move my head."

"Jim, you're awake. Take it easy, Honey. The doctor will need to talk to you. Let me call the nurse. You've been out for over two days. God, I'm so glad you're awake. We prayed and prayed for you."

The nurse came in. "Mr. Moore, welcome back to the real world. I know you have a lot of questions and they will all be answered. Right now I don't want you to speak."

"I can't move my head," I whispered.

"Please don't try and talk. We need to get some liquids into your throat. I will tell you that you broke your neck. Now don't get too worried. It's not as bad as it sounds. You have a broken vertebrae in your neck. You can't move your head because you have a halo on to hold your head in place. It's a gadget that is screwed to your skull to make sure your head is still.

"You'll probably be here for a few more days, maybe a week, but you'll have to wear the halo for a good three months. We're hoping that your vertebrae will fuse and keep you from having to have surgery. You also had some other internal injuries but it looks like you're coming along well. You broke a couple of ribs also."

I felt like I was in a fog. I knew it was from all the medications that I had been given. I looked up and I thought I saw Diane standing there crying. I wasn't sure because I fell back to sleep.

Was I dreaming or hoping? I was lying there and felt like someone was holding my hand. I woke up again. It was hard to see to the side since I couldn't turn my head.

When I was finally able to make out the figure it was mom holding my hand. I was saddened that it wasn't Diane but also happy to know my mom sat with me.

"How's it going, Honey? Are you in a lot of pain?" asked Mom.

"I feel numb, especially my head. I think I keep hallucinating too. I'm sorry, Mom, but I kept seeing Diane in my dreams. Does she even know I'm here?"

Mom had tears in her eyes. She always loved Diane but still was there to support me. She knew what I had done. Dad had told her and she told me she would have left me too if she was my wife.

"She's been here everyday to be with you. She works in this hospital, you know. Her parents have been watching Steph so she spent the whole night here both nights. She would go home and clean up and then come back to sit with you. She really is a good woman, Jim. You screwed up big time."

"Where is she at now, Mom? God, I miss her so much. I wish I could take everything back and live my life with her all over again. I honestly didn't realize how much I loved her till I lost her. Do you think we'll ever get back together? Being in an accident sure changes your perspective on life. All I want is to get well and do my best to get Diane back. I need my family, Mom. I need Diane and Steph."

I know I had tears running down my cheeks. After all I felt my world crashing down around me. A hand with a tissue wiped my tears.

"I'm right here, Jim. I've been here all the time listening to you talk to your mom. She and I had a long talk this last few days and I think it's about time for you and I to talk," stated Diane.

-----------------------

"I talked to the doctors and you are going to need a few months to recuperate," Diane said. "He also said you are going to need someone around to help take care of you. Your mom said she would sit with you during the day. I volunteered to help you in the evenings. Steph and I have an extra room as you know and you can stay in there."

"You're taking me back? You're giving me another chance?" I asked.

"I didn't say that, Jim. I said I will help you during your recuperation. Steph misses you and it will give her a chance to be around you. I'll work during the day here at the hospital and help you in the evenings. As far as what happens in the future we'll just have to see."

I was released a few days later and Mom and Dad took me to Diane's house. We were renting it - not buying it. Anyway, I cried when I saw my little girl come up and kiss me and welcome me home.

Things were progressing pretty good and one night after Steph went to bed I asked Diane if she would talk with me.

"What about, Jim?" she asked.

"I want to apologize for being such a lousy husband. You deserved much better. I wish I could take all that time back and live it over but we both know that it isn't possible. I was a fool and I'll admit it. I really did wonder if you ever had an affair. Knowing I did would have given you enough reason to."

"Jim, when we got married I took my vows seriously, unlike you. I'm not going to lie and say I never thought about it. I had a lot of chances but never did. I think that song ‘When I Think About Cheatin' by Gretchen Wilson, explains my thoughts."

I've never done anything

That would bring a tear to your eye

I've never crossed the line

Or needed an alibi to cover up a lie

But, darling, I'll admit

There've been times when I could have.

The thing that kept me strong

Is the one thing that is always on my mind.

When I think about cheatin'

I just think about you leavin'

And how my world would fall to pieces

If I tossed your love away.

Even when I'm tempted by some stranger

Oh, there's never any danger

I just think about you leavin'

When I think about cheatin'.

"That's how I felt about you, Jim. I was afraid I would lose you if I ever cheated on you. I was hoping that you would outgrow your cheating ways but you never did. I remember us watching ‘The Sopranos' together and you would smile every time Tony bedded down some woman. It hurt me, Jim, it hurt me bad.

"Then I come home from a night out with my friends and you accused me of being unfaithful. You left the house and picked up that bar slut. I drove to the bar that you always went to. I wanted to have a talk with you but you weren't there. The bartender said you took Maggie home and he told me where her apartment was. When I saw you fucking her it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm not Carmella and you're not Tony. I wasn't going to put up with it any longer.

"Some women told me that I was stupid for not having affairs. They don't understand. Sex isn't as important to me as love. I loved you, Jim. The first time we had sex in your car it hurt. It really wasn't very good. It wasn't at all like other girls told me it would feel like. I gave you my virginity because I loved you. I never told you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I loved you too much to make you feel bad.

"Then one day you came home and you were doing things to me that made me feel good. I figured you talked with other guys or read stories on the Internet that told you things to do that make a woman feel good. Now I have to wonder if it was you having affairs and other women telling you what they liked and then you came home and tried it with me."

Damn for such a young woman, she could read me like a book.

"I didn't want affairs with strangers. All I ever wanted was to make love to my husband. There isn't anything that I wouldn't have done for him if he just asked."

I had to wonder if she was talking to me in the past or present. I just came out and asked her. "Diane, can we draw a line and start over from this point on. I promise you that I will be the best damn husband I can be. I want there to be an us again. If you don't do it for me then do it for Steph," I said.

DG Hear
DG Hear
5,680 Followers
12