Who Will You Run To?

Hi Folks, Thanks for the reaction to last week's story. The weird thing was that although the story got the usual number of comments, between Friday and Sunday, I got more than four hundred e-mails most just wanted to know where they could find the rejected story from the previous week, but a lot of them just wanted to talk about cars or stories or whatever. It was nice. It took me nearly the entire weekend to answer all of them which is why this one is a little late. This story isn't so much burn the bitch as it is about the results of bad choices and how they change lives. I promise the next one will have a little bit of fire in it. SS06

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My fiancé, Summer, was my whole world. We were sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria of the college we both attended. She looked nervous. Her nervousness made me nervous.

Summer wasn't the nervous type. Summer was as free and easy as her name would imply. Her parents had been hippies, hence the name. And she'd actually been born when they'd lived in a commune.

The only time that Summer got nervous was when she had to tell me something that she thought I wouldn't like. It was like that when she told me about meeting her parents. That first meeting had been awkward. It had taken a few dinners and cook outs for us to gel, but now I loved them and felt like a part of the family.

"Ted," she began. She was looking at the table instead of at me and wringing her hands. I was concentrating on my burger. I figured that whatever else happened, I may as well face it on a full stomach. I had an idea that whatever she wanted to talk about was yet another complication in our wedding plans. We'd had several already. My parents had arranged for the ceremony to be held at their local church. Her parents wanted to do it on the beach or in the forest.

Even as Summer began to speak though, I noticed something at the next table. One of the women in my English class was having a problem. I didn't know her name but I recognized her. She was a tiny woman with honey blond hair. She was less than five feet tall but thin and curvy. Her proportions were ridiculous.

Summer was close to six feet tall and had next to no breasts. The tiny woman's chest was in the generous to large range. They both shared the same tiny waist, but it seemed to be even smaller on the little woman because her ass and chest were proportionately larger.

At any rate, she was wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts. Even though the shorts weren't actually very short, they were stretched over her rounded ass as she bent to pull something out of her purse.

One of the guys at the table behind her reached out and gave her ass a resounding smack. She straightened immediately and slapped him across his face so hard that it must have rattled his teeth. All of his buddies at the table started laughing at him and I could see him getting angry. He was a bigger guy and as his arm swept backwards to return the blow, I moved.

I'm not the Flash. I can't move with super speed. I couldn't cross the distance between the tables and grab his arm so I just threw myself across the distance and tackled him.

When we got ourselves untangled he was ready to fight. "Say goodbye to solid food," he grumbled.

"Say no to steroids," I said. A couple of his friends grabbed him and pulled him away from me.

"Justin, Ted just saved your ass," one of them said. "If you'd actually hit Melissa, you'd be off the team and out of the school, dumbass."

Justin just nodded and walked away. Some other guy grabbed Melissa and dragged her away angrily before she could say anything to me, but it was just as well, because Summer wasn't very happy.

"I have to get to class," she hissed. "Maybe we'll talk about this later."

Fun and breezy, hot and steamy, both were accurate descriptions of the girl I loved. Her moods could change as quickly as the weather in the season she was named for. I was sure that whatever she had to say could wait. Summer had a tendency towards being overly dramatic.

Four hours later, she showed up at my dorm. She walked in and sat down. She sat on her hands as if to keep them from fidgeting the way they always did. I began to realize that this time whatever she wanted to talk about was serious.

"Ted I have something to tell you and you're not going to like it," she said. I smiled because I was sure that it was just another thing she wanted to change about the wedding. I didn't care what it was as long as we stepped down that aisle together.

"Do you remember the people we met in the park a couple of weeks ago?" she asked.

"Which people?" I asked. "Which park?"

"You remember them, the guy with the three women?" she said.

"Oh yeah!" I said pointedly.

"Ted, I know you're not going to understand this but something happened when I met them. My parents spent a part of their lives when they were younger living in a commune. It made them the people they are today," she said.

"Your parents own a successful business and live in the suburbs," I said. "They did what we planned to do."

"Yeah but they had their wild times," she said. "And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want mine."

"By wild times what you really mean is that you want to go to their commune and fuck that guy, right?" I said. "You want to go out and try the whole free love, free sex thing, but mostly you just want to fuck that one guy, right?"

"It's not like that, Ted," she said. "It's about sharing and working together for the common good. It's about truly exploring the spiritual aspects of life with a group of other like minded people. Sex is a part of that but not a really big part of it."

"Besides," she continued. "The two of us should be bound by our love for each other. Not by being possessive and jealous."

"So basically you want us to have some kind of open marriage, right?" I asked. She bit her lip. "How long do you think you need to explore your whorish side?"

She gasped. "I..."

"So are you changing your major to agriculture or eastern studies or what?" I asked.

"Actually I'm dropping out of school," she said. "It all seems so pointless. I'm not sure what I want to do anymore. But I think we'll figure that out as we go."

"Who's WE?" I asked.

"You and me," she said. "There are things there for you too, Ted. Didn't you see how beautiful some of those women are? There wasn't an ugly one in the bunch. Even though while we're in the community we won't exactly be in a relationship, because there are no possessive unions allowed, we'd still be together. It's just that the way that things are right now...the way we're living is killing me. I can't do it anymore. Not for any amount of time. But who knows maybe it's just something I have to go through. And like with my parents maybe in time we'll just leave there together. I still want you in my life. I still L..."

"You're not sure what you want to do with your life, but you sure don't want me in it," I said.

"That's not what I said," she whined.

"Yeah, the life you're living with me can't go on one single minute. But there's a new one waiting outside the door and it's time for you to begin it," I said.

"It's just something I want to try," she said sadly. "I want to live and experience things."

"You found a new world and you want to taste it," I said smiling. And she nodded.

"But that world can turn cold and you'd better face it."

"Ted you don't understand," she said. "This isn't permanent. It's just..."

"Who will you run to when it all falls down," I asked. "Who's gonna pick your world up off of the ground?"

"Ted don't be..." she began.

"Who's gonna wipe away the tears you cry?"

"I'm not going to be crying Ted," she said.

"Who's gonna love you babe as good as I?" She had no idea that I was quoting lines from a song.

"Ted, why can't you just see this from my pers..." she began.

"Summer, just get out," I said.

"But Ted, I still want us to...I mean someday we're..." she said. I just shook my head.

"We'll still be..." she said in a small voice. I shook my head again.

"Summer, I loved you with all of my heart. There's nothing I wouldn't have done for you. Our life together was going to be great. But I guess I never really knew you. If this is how you really are, I should probably thank you. In the long run, I'd have been a lot worse off if you'd done this after we got married. We'd have had to get a divorce and all of that crap," I said. "Right now I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach through my nuts. But I'll get over it. You run along, now."

"But we don't have to..." she began. She looked as if she was about to cry. "I changed my mind," she said suddenly. "This was just a mistake..."

"Summer, tell me the truth," I said. "No one just jumps up and decides on a whim to do something this drastic. You had to have a reason to do this. You already fucked this guy didn't you?"

Her eyes dropped immediately. "It just happened," she said. "I'll make it up to you. I swear it."

"There's no need Summer," I said. "What you just told me makes getting over you a lot easier. If you cheated on me while we were engaged and planning our wedding, our life together would have been hell."

"Ted it's not really cheating. We're not married yet," she whined.

"Summer you're twenty two years old. We've been together for three years. We have...or had, a committed relationship. What exactly would you call it?" I asked. She again found something on the floor extremely interesting.

"Goodbye Summer," I said. She stood there with tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. I reached out and turned her around and gently pushed her through the door.

"Summer, this is what you wanted. Now you don't have to worry about me anymore. Now you can go on off to the commune with nothing to hold you back. Someday you'll be a successful...uhm...communist and you won't even remember me. You'll probably laugh if you do."

I closed the door then and launched myself towards my bed. I grabbed my iPod and cranked the volume all the way up. I didn't even care what was on it. I just needed music that was so loud that I couldn't think.

Over the next few weeks, I concentrated on my studies. I worked hard and my grades which had always been middle of the pack, began to improve. My friends began to comment on my absence from the places we hung out and the things we usually did. A couple of Summer's friends, Beth and Lisa, tracked me down to talk.

"Summer is gone. She dropped out of school," I said.

"We know that Ted," said Beth. "We also know why and we know how stupid she was too. Did you know that after you threw her out, she really wanted to change her mind, but it was like some kind of compulsion or genetic thing was driving her. Did you know that her parents spent time on a commune when they were about her age?"

"Yep, they grew out of it though and became fully functioning normal members of society," I said.

"Maybe this is just something that she needs to go through," said Lisa. "She dropped out of school so she could explore it, but she loves you. That's why this is so hard on her. You do know that she loves you, right? She's tried to call you several times over the last few days to talk. You know that right?"

"Lisa, Summer didn't just drop put of school. She dropped out of ME at the same time. If a guy you were going out with came and told you that he needed to spend some time fucking another girl, would you take him back?" I asked.

The anger on her face at the question left no doubt in my mind about the answer.

A couple of days later, it was a bright, sunny, spring morning and I decided to go out for a run. I put on my worst running shoes, because even though it was sunny. The trails hadn't really dried out from the melted winter snow. I was still depressed about Summer even though it had been nearly a month since we'd broken up. Three weeks and four days to be exact.

I hopped down the stairs and was almost to my ancient 1987 Mustang GT. the car was all black outside and in. I had black Cobra R rims on it, black brake calipers, crossed drilled rotors and a MagnaFlow exhaust system. I had even replaced the 5.0 badges and the running pony emblem with black ones. After Summer, that car had been my favorite thing. Since she was gone it had moved up to the number one spot.

I thought that I heard someone calling me and when I turned around, I saw Summer's parents. I walked over to them although my first instinct was to pretend that I hadn't heard them and get into my car.

"Ted, are you busy? Can we talk?" asked her dad.

"I was just about to go out for a run," I said.

"This is important. It's about Summer," he said. I turned and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"If it's about Summer, it' no longer my business," I said. I'd tried really hard to keep the pain and the anger out of my voice. Among men anger transfers quickly.

When Summer's dad heard the anger in my voice. He got pissed too. "Wait a God damned minute," he said. I turned back to him and the anger that flashed in my eyes was at least equal to his. Luckily, Summer's mom was there to calm us down,

"Both of you calm down," she said. "Steve, if you want him to talk to us, using fowl language and screaming isn't the way to go." She turned to me then.

"Ted, you're not even angry, son. I can tell by looking at your face that you're on the verge of tears. You just want to hit somebody to avoid crying and you figure my husband will do. I have the feeling that my daughter lied to us. Why don't you go out and do your run. Then meet us back here in...two hours and we'll take you to lunch and we'll talk. Can we do that?" I nodded reluctantly.

I got into my car and drove to the trails that I usually ran on. Lunch with Summer's parents wasn't something that I was looking forward to. The timing sucked. Just as I was getting to the point where I didn't spend most of my time thinking about her, I ran into her parents who wanted to talk about her.

As I ran through the damp and muddy woods, I found it difficult to relax and enjoy the run. Instead of looking for sights and sounds of the forest, or smelling the fresh spring plants and the musky smell of decay from plants or animals that hadn't survived the winter, my mind was on Summer.

I wondered why I suddenly hadn't been good enough for her. I wondered if she had ever really cared about me or if everything we'd done together had been a waste of time.

Far too quickly, I found myself heading back for my car. I drove home, feeling like there was a piano hanging over my head and at any second it might come crashing down on me.

Despite the situation Summer's mom was her usual chipper and cheerful self. Her dad had calmed down somewhat too.

After a few moments spent ordering food and making small talk, her dad kicked off the conversation.

"Ted, I know you're a young guy and you're just beginning to explore your life," he said. "I also appreciate the courage it took to tell her. But why did you wait so long? Do you understand how much money we spent renting and reserving halls and buying flowers? We even had to put a deposit on the beach that you guys were going to say your vows on."

"Shouldn't you be asking Summer those questions?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Summer is the one who caused you to waste your money," I said.

"Bullshit, she said that she was willing to marry you and you..." he began.

"Summer came to my apartment and told me that she'd been cheating on me with a guy who started some sort of commune," I said. "She told me about how the two of you spent some time living in one. She said that it was something she needed to explore. She gave me a bunch of crap about not being in a restrictive relationship, but what it really meant was that she had the hots for the guy running the commune and she wanted some time to screw him and then maybe we'd get back together."

Her parents looked at each other and their mouths dropped open.

Her dad put his hand out and patted my shoulder. "Ted, I had no idea," he said. "She told us that you'd dumped her and she needed some time to get herself together so she was dropping out of school. she wanted to try out a commune because it worked out of her mom and me. She doesn't belong in a place like that. This isn't the sixties and seventies. Most of the guys in those places are just after sex and money from stupid young people. The real era of sharing and communing died over thirty years ago. We were there. It was usually ruined by hurt feelings and one or two guys who wanted to share everyone else's women."

"I told you," said his wife. "Why the hell do you think he was about to cry. He loves that girl. And Summer played us. I've always been able to tell when she was lying, even when she was a child."

"I know this must've been hard on you Ted. But don't worry," said her dad. "As soon as we knock some sense into her, you two will be back together."

I shook my head. "As much as I loved her, I just don't see that happening, sir," I said.

"I do," he said. "Even with all of this craziness, she loves you, Ted."

"Maybe so sir, but relationships are based on two people who want to be together," I said.

"So you're saying that you don't want to be with her anymore?" he asked.

"Would you, under the circumstances?" I asked. He hung his head and then looked at me.

"No son," he said. "I guess I wouldn't either."

Later on, after they left, I managed to get myself together enough to go over to the library to do some studying. I had my head buried in one of my textbooks and had read the same paragraph three times. I heard the sound of someone putting down a book bag or a purse on my table. I didn't bother to look up. I just figured that the library was filling up, so I'd have to share the table.

"So ya fell off of the beanpole, huh?" said a very resonant female voice near me. I didn't recognize the voice so I looked up.

It was her. Not Summer, but the tiny woman I'd rescued over a month before.

"Hi," I said before looking back at my books.

"Uh Oh," she said. "I think I miscalculated." I hadn't been paying her much attention but I looked at her again.

"Excuse me," I mumbled glancing at her again. She smiled and I had to look at her again. As I looked for the first time I noticed how thick her hair was and how shiny. It was difficult to tell if it was more blond or more brown. It was some hybrid of both. Her eyes were a deep cornflower blue. She leaned back and put one hand on a rounded hip. Her tiny waist exploded outwards both above and below the waistline. She was truly tiny but perfectly proportioned. Summer's taller lankier form had never shown any hints of curves like hers.

Succulent was the only word that came to mind when describing or trying to describe the lips that curled into a smile when our eyes met.

"Are you even listening to me?" she asked.

"Huh?" I asked.

"I asked if you'd recovered from falling off of the beanpole yet?" she smirked.

"What beanpole?" I asked.

"Your tall, skinny, evil ex-girlfriend," she said. I looked at her in confusion.

"You're a hard one to figure out," she said. "Normally if a guy gets dumped, he mopes for a day or two and then goes out pussy hunting to prove to himself and everyone else that he's still got it. He also wants to make sure that his ex knows that he can get someone else. He usually wants to make her feel bad about dumping him. On the other hand if he dumps her, there's usually another girl already in the picture so he doesn't even wait the two days."

She sat down in the chair across from me. One of the librarians shushed her and she shushed the old lady right back.