Wingman

Peggy's smile went away and a look of concern crossed her face.

"Unless I am completely wrong, she's starting to show a baby bump."

At that time, that was new information. Peggy looked embarrassed.

But I could not resist.

"Verónica's showing a baby bump? All I did was kiss her."

"No, ass!" Peggy said while swatting me on the thigh.

"I'm talking about Malibu Barbie. One of the gossip sites had a bikini picture of her at the beach somewhere. They resurrected the story and had a snide suggestion about 'On a sizzling hot day like today, a former sexy local weathergirl looks like she might have a bun in the oven,'" she said shaking her head.

I was doing the math in my head and headed off Peggy's question.

"I am willing to bet 5 Euros it's not mine. Ever since March, I used a condom and shot on her tits. I told her I had read that her brand of birth control pills was not that reliable, and I was worried about how she'd look on TV, if she got pregnant. At that point though, I was really worried that she was running a time-share between her legs. I'm not saying it's impossible that a swimmer didn't make it upstream, but I don't think it's likely. It's either D'Sean or one of her other admirers who's the baby-daddy."

I was actually surprised she was not making this argument in court to slow the divorce down, but she seemed to be relying on just ignoring everything instead.

My mother finally called me after the baby-bump pictures started appearing online. My sister had told her and my father to back off because the last thing I wanted to hear was a bunch of I-told-you-so's. Before I left the States, my sister had been gracious enough to tell me I-told-you-so herself in a way that made it seem to have come from three people. My mother had just sounded relieved when I assured her it was unlikely to be mine. Mom was not ready to be a grandmother in her early 50s, especially if "Blondie"--her name for Lori--was the mother.

**********

Back in the café in the States, I said to Peggy, "Lori just told me that she's going to have to get the 'big guns.'"

Peggy looked at me with confusion.

"The 'big guns?'"

Then she looked at Lori and back at me.

"Does she own a battleship?" she asked me with an expression of absolute, innocent seriousness, which I knew was fake, as she turned to look at Lori again.

Lori now nearly had steam coming out of her ears as her face reddened. I lost it at that point and had to bury my face in Peggy's neck as I convulsed in silent laughter. I resurfaced to see that Peggy was smirking.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT INTRODUCING MY HUSBAND TO HIS SON AND DAUGHTER!" Lori yelled.

A look of Christmas-morning surprise spread on Peggy's face.

"A son AND a daughter? Twins? Well, congratulations, Esteban! I didn't know you were that virile, although I can't say that I'm surprised after that steamy European summer we shared right after you got your freedom from Malibu Barbie here."

She then turned to Lori.

"How old are they? When are their birthdays?"

Lori ignored Peggy but answered the question at me.

"Four and a half years old. They were born the January after he left me."

Peggy looked up and began counting with her fingers ostentatiously. She looked back at me when she got to nine.

"That would be April before our summer together. What do you think?"

"Condoms ending with cumshots on the tits that month. You owe me 5 Euros," I said to her.

To Lori, I said, "Bring on the DNA tests, Barbie..."

I had not meant to, but I was copying Peggy with the "Barbie" dig.

"..., but when Maury comes back with the results that show neither one is mine, what's the story going to be then when they get you out of the sound-proof booth? That Lloyd raped you?"

I said this flippantly. My lawyer had already found out that Lori had left the father's name blank on the birth certificates. Lloyd was her cameraman when she did location shoots. He was short and partly hairy. Partly hairy because his head was bald except for a fringe of hair above his ears and a walrus-style moustache, but his body was covered with hair. He was heavy, too, with substantial man-boobs and a beer belly. I'd seen him in the shower at a gym once. Lori's station was doing some charity thing that she had roped me into that involved all sorts of silly sports. That's the only reason that I would ever shower with the guy. I only said his name because I knew from the deposition testimony from the divorce that she had not started fooling around with D'Sean at the time any kid would have been conceived, and Lloyd seemed the most implausible candidate.

Lori surprised me though. First, she slumped in her chair. Then, she suddenly sat up, pushed the seat back, and leaned forward with her head between her knees as though she was going to vomit. Deathly pale and sweating, she finally sat up and hugged herself.

"He didn't rape me," she said in a small voice. "We just got drunk one night when I was horny and mad at you, and things got out of control. You were right after all. The brand of birth control pills I was using then was not that reliable. And I also got sloppy about taking them back then. How did you find out? Did he tell you? I was trying to keep it quiet. The last thing I want is to have to see him regularly for visits. I didn't even think he knew that they were his. He must have guessed."

Peggy was just staring at her. She reached for her half-drunk vodka and gave it to me. I downed it.

"Wow," Peggy said.

Lori was looking at me with pleading eyes.

"I found out," I told her, "Just because I was pretty sure that any kid you had could not have been mine. We hardly touched each other in the last few months we were together. Everything else I said was a bad joke. And then you confessed. That's how I found out."

Lori fell back in her chair. She looked like she was about to say something, but we were interrupted.

"Get off my man!" a pregnant, dark-haired fury half-yelled at Peggy.

Peggy looked over my head and answered with a matching tone.

"It's just sex. It didn't mean anything! You won't lose anything by it. He'll love you even more when we're done."

Peggy's expression as she said that was mocking. Lori stared at them both, confused. I kept my mouth shut.

The fury was Verónica. She wore an expression like murder about to happen.

"Up," she demanded.

"You know the rule," Peggy responded. "You've got to tag in.

They suddenly high-fived, their frowns turned into broad smiles, and Peggy jumped off my lap to hug Roni, who hugged Peggy back and promptly took her place on my lap. Peggy sat down in an empty chair.

Fricking lucha libre.

**********

Yeah, I did wind up hooking up with Verónica. I know. "Faint heart never won fair maiden" and all that, and I would like people to think that I was a romantic lover who lost no time at all and locked onto the love of my life like a heat-seeking missile, mariachi serenades melting her cold heart, even though those are Mexican, not Spanish, but that would be what British understatement would categorize as somewhat untrue.

The reality is that a wiser mind than my own decided that I was incompetent to manage my own emotional affairs, needed specific direction, and particularly needed to hurry up. That wiser mind belonged to my wingman. I won't say that she was entirely wrong.

What had happened was this. After a few pleasant days in Barcelona, we made our way down the Mediterranean coast of Spain to a town called Oliva in Valencia. We had gotten incredibly lucky when Peggy somehow managed to rent an Airbnb apartment close to the beach during the height of the season. This was a bit of improvisation. We knew that we wanted to spend a few days on the beach before heading to Madrid but had no specific destination in mind. Peggy somehow got the idea into her head to go to this specific town and worked out the logistics. And it was really her timeline driving us anyway because she was the one who had to get settled for school soon. Me, I just had to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, but I had no schedule.

The new plan was to stay for a week on the coast now before finally heading to Madrid. We had been there for a day and half already, spending the first day, a gorgeous, clear day, sunning on the sand with the summer tourists. Since our first night in Barcelona, we had not had sex. Peggy seemed a bit moody but would put on a brave front when I asked her about it and denied anything was wrong. We had strolled around town on the morning of our second day, had lunch, and gone back to the apartment. She seemed agitated for some reason, but she asked me to cuddle her in bed while we had a fully clothed siesta. I was happy to oblige. I dozed a bit, but I don't think she did. We said almost nothing to each other. I just started trying to savor every one of these last moments together before we went our separate ways.

At around 3:00, there was a knock on the door. We were in an apartment on the upper floor of a two-story building. To get to our door, you needed the four-digit code for the lock on the ground floor. Whoever was knocking had to be a neighbor.

Peggy just looked over her shoulder at me. She had a small smile on her face, which I assumed was because I had to get out of bed, and she could stay in it. So, I got up and went to answer the door.

A little sleepy still from my dozing, I did not think to use the peephole first. I opened the door and saw Joanna and Alexandra, the two hot blonde girls from the London hotel, the ones who were always working at the reception desk, standing there. They greeted me with huge smiles. I promptly shut the door. In that brief second, I had decided that I had gone insane or was badly drugged.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Peggy yelled behind me as she ran to the door, shoved me out of the way, invited the girls in, and immediately began hugging and greeting them.

"That's a fine welcome," Joanna said to me as she stood in her arm-akimbo pose in front of me.

I said nothing. I just pointed my right index finger and pressed against her shoulder. She seemed to be real.

"Just checking that I am not hallucinating," I said.

Joanna frowned for a moment, then realization hit.

"She didn't tell you?!"

"Nope."

"Oh, poor baby," she said with a pout, and pulled me close.

I assumed it was for a hug, but she gave me a tongue kiss. I did not do a good job of resisting. We were only interrupted when Alexandra pulled us apart.

"My turn! Hello, Mr. Pinky," she said as she took Joanna's place sucking on my tongue.

That was interrupted by Peggy pulling me away and maneuvering me to the sofa in the living area. I had not noticed that she had gotten out the Spanish brandy bottle and four glasses sometime when I was not looking. The girls sat one on each of my sides. Peggy filled the glasses and gave each girl two before she straddled my hips, facing me. When she settled down, she got a glass from Joanna and gave it to me and took one from Alexandra for herself.

"Salud," she toasted.

We repeated the toast and clinked glasses.

Peggy looked me straight in the eyes.

"Surprise," she said with a smile.

"You don't mind if they stay, do you?"

I knew sex was off the table now with other people close by, but I was determined to be a good sport about it. I frowned.

"I don't know. It's the height of the season. The rates are very high. Can they pay?"

They all smiled at each other and started to giggle.

"Maybe we can think of something," Alexandra said, wiggling her eyebrows.

My brain stopped working at that thought, but my sexual organs went into overdrive. My cock shot up into Peggy's shorts-clad naughty bits.

"He likes the idea, girls," she announced as she wriggled on top of me.

"Are you serious?" I asked Peggy.

"Maybe."

I drained my brandy.

"Fuck," I said. "Now it's medical school and Somalia."

"What are you talking about?" Peggy asked.

I looked at her and then each of the girls in turn, and back to Peggy.

"Unless I really have gone insane, I thought I heard you suggesting the possibility of maybe potentially me having some fun with these young ladies."

"Is that a problem?"

"Hell, yeah! Back in London, I decided that the only way that I could be worthy of either of them was to go to medical school and then spend twenty years deworming Somali orphans. Now, you're talking both. That's even more time in Somalia."

Joanna and Alexandra were both laughing at my announcement while Peggy sat up on my lap.

"And what did you need to do to be worthy of me?" she asked.

"Buy you a cup of coffee in some seedy bistro," I said, as she began to slap my shoulders.

I had to pull her in tight to get her to stop as Joanna and Alexandra laughed harder.

"Asshole! OK! Now I don't feel bad about telling you this!" Peggy announced with fire in her eyes. "They're here for me, not you!"

That caught me by surprise.

"Say that part again."

Peggy by now had blushed fire-hydrant red all over her face, her neck, and her shoulders.

"They're here for me," she whispered.

"Oh, fuck! I turned you lezzie! One woman left me for a Black guy. And a WOMAN. And now we end with you leaving me for TWO WOMEN! What a track record I have! Being with me turns women gay."

I had closed my eyes and placed my hands over my face as I said this. Peggy grabbed them and started to shush me, obviously concerned that she had hurt me. I opened my eyes and smiled. When she realized I was teasing her, she started to move to slap me again, but I kept a grip on her wrists.

"Just tell me what's going on, please," I said.

Peggy relaxed and looked at me, her face completely open and vulnerable.

"I've always wanted to try it. The girls and I have been keeping in touch ever since London. We've talked, too, when you've been out in the afternoon. They told me that they're in a relationship. I told them I was curious. Then, we planned this week at the beach so I could try."

Joanna leaned into my right side, began stroking my arm, and breathed into my ear. Alexandra mirrored her on the other side.

"The thing is, Esteban," Joanna said, "she wouldn't agree to do it unless you were there as her wingman to watch her back. You make her feel safe."

When it looked like I was going to argue, Alexandra took over with the erotic whispering into the other ear.

"We told Peggy that it would be a waste for you to just be watching."

"I thought you were lesbians."

"What we are," Joanna announced, "is horny. And without any time to date because we are always working so much back at the hotel to save money."

That statement raised a question.

"Then how'd you afford this?"

"I'm paying," Peggy proudly said. "I've saved tons of money travelling around with you. And they've got cheap flights on those budget airlines here."

I refrained from saying that what they were doing was cut-rate lesbian sex. I'm not a total idiot.

Instead, I said, "So, to summarize, you're willing to give me a few pity-fucks in between the time the three of you spend the rest of the week having nearly constant lesbian sex. Is that it?"

"Yes," Peggy said as Joanna and Alexandra nodded.

It took me about a second to say, "I can live with that."

And that's what we did. Not right away. That's the annoying thing about lesbians. Or bi-curious girls or whatever. At least the ones that I happen to know. They were all about the build-up. The slow, erotic mating dance that cranks up the tension, which is then satisfied sexually. First, we had to go out to get something to eat, then something to drink, all with being close and talking and touching. The girls with each other, not me. It was all a turn-on, but come on. Where was the payoff? Then, we went back to the apartment, and they wanted to get quick showers. Not together. Not yet. Then, it was more touching and then lots of light kissing. I liked watching, and my Faithful Soldier stood at attention. Perhaps my demeanor was radiating, "Cut to the damned chase!" because Joanna peeled off to give me a very competent blowjob while Alexandra finally started eating out Peggy. I lasted about thirty seconds, which seems to have been what Joanna expected, because she was back in what became a tribbing scrum in no time.

Admittedly, when Peggy's orgasm came, it was pretty intense, and it was only one of several. The best part was that she looked at me while she went over the edge. That made me feel nice. And somewhat useful.

After that, for the next several days, after lazy mornings, it was trips to the beach from late morning to early afternoon. They wore indecently small bikinis and hung close to each other. I went swimming and would usually duck out to meet them for a late lunch. Then, they went back to the apartment to clean up and have sex and then a nap. I gave them space. It dawned on me that Peggy was so focused on her sexual explorations that we had not been running in the mornings since Barcelona.

It's not to say that they did not take care of me, too; they did. I got my first two-girl blowjob, and then my first three-girl blowjob. I had my first threesome, and then my first foursome. Joanna and Alexandra both liked licking my cum off and out of Peggy and each other, depending on where I had shot it. I had multiple turns with each of them individually, most frequently while watching the other two. But I was a lot like a fourth wheel on the tricycle, or like the weird dinner guest that the hostess or her friends have to take turns talking to so he doesn't do anything embarrassing. Peggy obviously no longer needed me to watch her back.

In a moment of clarity, I realized: I was bored at the lesbian orgy.

Don't get me wrong. The sex was good--great, even--but Peggy was right; I needed an emotional commitment for the sex to ring my bell. Peggy was clearly throwing herself heart and soul into this little adventure, and I liked to see her happy, and Joanna and Alexandra were nice fuck-buddies for me, but nothing more. On the positive side, I was not longer worried about having to go to medical school and then to Somalia to deworm orphans. On the negative side, I was pulling back a bit and trying to figure out how to leave a few days early and maybe try to find Verónica, even though I was still married. She was occupying my thoughts more and more.

With all that in mind, I was sitting in a little coffee place by the beach late one afternoon. The girls had gone somewhere. I was just thinking about exit logistics and working out some possibilities, when I heard a female voice ask, "Excuse me, sir, but is this seat taken?"

Looking up in surprise at the familiar voice, I saw Verónica standing there with a wide straw hat on her head and large sunglasses, which she had down low on her nose so that she could look over them at me. She wore a light sun dress that allowed me to see a silhouette of her body, which was, as Peggy had observed when we first met, pretty good. Her smile was brilliant. A million would-be witty comments fought in my head to come out first, but none succeeded. Instead, I stood up, walked close, and looked down into her face. She took her sunglasses off and looked up at me expectantly. We kissed.

Sitting down, I asked, "How did you find me?"

Then, I thought for a moment and was overcome by self-doubt.

"You were looking for me, weren't you?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Of course I was. Why do you think I'm here? And I found you because Peggy told me that you were here. She used Find My Phone."

That answered the how. Peggy and I had paired phones back in the beginning to keep track of each other so no one would get lost or kidnapped and tortured in some Slovakian snuff hostel. That left another question unanswered, however.

"Why are you here?"

Verónica took my hand.