You Can't Just...

So it would be accurate to say that the something wrong, was that something was not there that should be!

Clear as mud yes?

Melissa seemed to pick up on that because she piped up, "You always said this room was a work in progress, you would experiment with different layouts and things." I just nodded as I looked around. We made small talk and she went downstairs to her room. She seemed reluctant to leave, and the room suddenly felt that it was missing even more when she left.

Life continues on as it always does.

I would meet Melissa in the morning for breakfast and then we would go off on our separate ways. She taught at the local University. I would go in to work, or I did until she found out and per the doctors instructions and threats of locking me in the downstairs office at home...I decided to work from home.

Leslie was a constant source of help. I began to remember more of her as she would come by to visit if she was in the area. Also Skype was handy for checking out color schemes. She actually was a very good worker! I had found a copy of the letter of recommendation I had written for her, and actually sent some amendments on to her next potential employer. In fact, I was thinking of asking her to stay with me and offer her a better benefits package!

What stopped me was the last time she came over and we were looking at a set of swatches spread over the dining room table. I was standing next to her and had just pointed down at a color called Aurin Gold which would be the perfect color for the rims of the bone china we were ordering for the client. She had turned her head toward me as I leaned down to point, and for some reason my body continued to lean and I found myself kissing her lips, softly and gently.

A tiny voice was telling me that I should not do this, but at the same time her lips were rich and full and warm! I missed this feeling! My arm came around her waist and she threw both of her arms around my neck and attacked my mouth with hers!

I pulled back a little and she began to nibble my chin and was trying to get at my lips again.

"Leslie...wait a moment!" I panted. She quit trying to kiss me, instead her little nose was poking the front of my neck, and her warm breath was sliding along my collarbones. This felt wonderful but was very distracting.

"You still work for me, Leslie..." I began. She cut me off, her eyes bright.

"I quit! As of right now I quit!" She smiled at me mischievously. I raised an eyebrow and she had the decency to blush.

"You still work for me, Leslie and so I will not date you, but I would like to take you to dinner and we can see if this is a possibility? Then when you get accepted in your new position elsewhere we will see how this goes. Does that sound fair?"

Obviously she said yes. I told Melissa the good news and it made her stumble once and I could have sworn I saw anger in her eyes for a brief moment, but then she smiled and wished me a good time.

She even helped me straighten my tie before I left on my date! Still I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

My memory had been coming back in bits and pieces. Like hearing Melissa sing in the kitchen reminded me of sitting through the boring high school recitals. The only nice parts there had been hearing her sing in her strong alto voice. She would never become a pop sensation but it was always wonderful to hear her sing.

Hearing her talk on the phone, or playing cards with her. Riding along with her and shopping for groceries together I was piecing together doing things with her in the past. There were still a lot that was missing, but I knew it would come back to me eventually.

Her straightening my tie caused me to remember taking her to Prom. No we weren't nominated Prom king and queen. But I remember dancing with her all night long and eating ice cream tacos in our good clothes on the hood of my old impala by the Willamette River. Something so important was missing but I was damned if I knew what.

"I won't drive drunk." I told her. She just smiled that tight smile that had been her common look since I told her about my date.

"Be safe Dougie." She told me as she smoothed the lapels of my jacket."

"I will be Missie." I told her and hugged her tight.

Then off on my date I went.

Chapter 3

As dates go, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that great either. Oh the physical connection was there. Just...nothing else. We talked about work, her upcoming possible new job (that I was sure she was going to get!), and...it seemed the conversation would just dwindle and die on the vine.

It wasn't that she wasn't smart or that I was cold, it was just...awkward.

We finished up dinner, and danced a few times. We even kissed again at her door before she went back inside her home. It all felt vaguely familiar somehow.

I got back in my car and began examining the feelings in my chest as I drove home that night. This strange familiar feeling of déjà vu was disconcerting to the extreme. It was at that point a car taking the corner too fast swerved into my lane! It's headlights seemed to be bearing straight on toward me in a head on collision! I sharply turned the wheel, my hand on the horn as the other driver corrected their steering and continued on past.

I pulled over to the shoulder of the road and put on my hazard lights. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt short of breath. I tried to settle down, and get a handle on my lungs.

"Short quick breaths are not good. Nice loooong slooow breeeaaths!" I thought to myself. I wiped a hand over my forehead and looked at my sweaty finger tips, surprised I didn't see blood.

Blood?

Yes blood...I saw blood on my finger tips staining my fingerless riding gloves. Flashing red lights from the ambulance as my body was laid on a stretcher. My broken bicycle helmet with my emergency information written on the inside, Melissa said it was a good idea to do that...just in case. Lying on it's side, blurry eyes reading the inside of it as it lay there.

"Name: Douglas Comstock

Blood type: A+

Emergency Contact/Relation: Melissa Comstock/Spouse."

Melissa Comstock...not Shelton! That was her maiden name before she married me. Wife...not Roommate! Why would she...? But?

I remembered.

I was riding my bike, nice evening ride. I hit some pea gravel that had gotten on the side of the road near the old cemetery along Skyline. I had fallen and been hit by a car. Melissa always told me it was dangerous since there was hardly any bike path and the corners made it difficult for driver who travel too fast. I should have listened.

My wife. Melissa, Missie...is my wife. Why would she hide it from me? What would be the point? We have been living together for months now and she never told me! My head began to ache, but I ignored it and started remembering. It was fuzzy at first, but like an old engine that just needs to get some carbon worked out of it it began to pick up the pace.

I remembered evenings playing together in the backyard as neighbors. Being so excited when Dad finished putting up the tire swing and slide play structure. Her getting her thigh cut open and tearing her pants on a loose screw that worked up on the slide. Melissa being brave and not flinching when Dad cleaned up the wound. A scar that I loved to touch as my hands would find her hips as we lay together in bed.

Her being my best friend until I started dating Dianna Simpson, and after we broke up she still was mad at me! Until I figured out it was because she had wanted to date me. Our first real kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend behind the church in the small rose garden. I had picked her a rose and only found out later she had pressed it in her Bible to save it.

Our wedding night at a hotel in Astoria, and walking the beach together in the early morning wearing coats and pants with bare feet since it was a chilly overcast with a hint of rain in the air. Her getting her teaching position and me starting up my own business. Slammed doors and shouting matches, sweet whispers and spilled drinks on the couch, hosted parties and quiet nights alone...just the two of us.

I dried my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket automatically, I didn't even know I had been crying! My breathing was mostly settled. I was not at all feeling peaceful, but I was good enough to drive.

I had to be.

I needed to know why my wife, my Missy...lied about being my wife.

I got home later than I had wanted. I drove slower than I normally did, being extra cautious now. Wouldn't that just be the perfect tragedy? I just get back my memory and on the way home to tell my wife the good news I die in a car crash! So I drove like a nearsighted old lady.

I pulled into the garage and thought again about how to approach her. It was late, she was probably asleep. Wait until morning?

I walked into the house and saw her, Missy...Melissa...my wife...asleep and sitting upright on the couch. The TV was still on, the DVD she was watching was replaying the main menu loop over and over again to the Princess Bride. One of our favorite movies growing up. I walked in and took the remote from her hand. She stirred a little as I bent down and softly, almost tentatively touched my lips to hers.

I knew these lips! The soft arch just under her nose, the bend at the corner of her mouth. How she liked to close her mouth a little bit so that her lower lip would present itself to be sucked. And I took the offer and gently slid my tongue into the sweet texture found there. Melissa gave a soft groan and her hands came up to my chest and tried to grip me. Then her eyes flew open and she pulled back with a gasp!

"Doug!" She cried out. Then she just kept staring, a hand over her mouth as I sat down next to her on the couch. I glanced and then did a double take at the rubbish left on the coffee table. An empty bowl that from the remains appeared to have been filled with an excessive amount of ice cream. At least 5 snack size Snickers wrappers. A small box of chocolates and an empty mug of what I knew would be hot cocoa. This definitely was Missy comforting herself!

I looked back at her, I could see her mind racing as I watched her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. I wanted to say something to start this but I didn't know what to say. I knew she could tell something was different but she also seemed at a loss. I didn't even know exactly what I was feeling anyways. On one hand I was relieved to have my memory back. On the other hand I was pissed as all hell that this gorgeous woman was my wife and she had lied to me! So, if you don't know what to say, then don't saying anything.

Melissa fidgeted for a moment, looking down at her fingers. A sudden thought occurred to me, and it seemed a good way to break the ice.

"When did you move out of our bedroom?" I asked suddenly. She flinched, but I don't think it was from the question, but rather the break in the silence.

"A couple days before you got home. I had my brother help me move the furniture." Melissa replied, looking back up into my eyes. She took a deep breath and looked to be about to speak but I spoke first.

"Was everyone in on it? Keeping me in the dark?" I said the last sentence a little harshly, maybe too harshly as I saw my wife's eyes begin to tear up.

"Yes. The doctor said that your memory would come back in time, but we shouldn't push it." She stopped and started holding her hands out to me, her lips quivering.

"Dougie? Do...do you rememb...?"

I cut her off again. I was too tempted to take her in my arms because I needed to know. I wanted to understand!

"How could you DO that to me?" It definitely came out harsher than I intended.

"You let me know bunches of other things I didn't remember? The trip to the Grand Canyon? Our families? Was telling me you were my wife really pushing my memory that much? One would think that I would get used to that pretty quickly! I might even have gotten my memory back sooner in fact with that handy little nugget of knowledge being a lynchpin for all my other thoughts!"

Melissa began shaking her head and mouthing the word "no" over and over as she reached for me, but I caught her hands by the wrists before she could touch me.

"Was there another reason you didn't want me to remember so soon? I had been in a coma for about half a year. Maybe you wanted a little more time to enjoy the single life? Even sent me out on a date! I kissed her, another woman! I could have cheated on you! What am I supposed to think!?"

Her reaction to that last statement made me think I had gone a little too far with my words as her eyes went wide and her tears began to fall. I almost thought she might have been sad except now she appeared to be trying to claw me!

"No! NEVER! You are my husband and I want you! I want you so much and I waited and waited for you to wake up! You didn't see what you looked like! They kept saying things about swelling and trauma and time for your body to heal. You may have been asleep all that time but I was awake and I had to go without you! Then you woke up and you didn't remember me! You didn't remember me at all! The way you looked, your eyes..."

She stopped fighting to get at me and just sagged like a marionette in my grip, her body leaning towards me. Snffling softly and whispering quietly.

"You didn't recognize me, the doctor was sure your memory would come back, so I thought I could wait a little longer since I had waited all this time for you to come back to me."

I lowered her wrists and gripped her upper arms. I still didn't understand and tilted her back a little bit so I could see her eyes. She looked exhausted and her eyes looked tired and red rimmed as her tears kept falling.

"I still don't get it Melissa. Why not tell me you were my wife? Why not tell me?"

Her tears began falling faster and her voice broke as she tried to talk. I pulled her into my arms, her face buried in my shoulder as she cried. I heard her trying to speak but all I heard was her saying over and over again,

"You can't just...you can't just..."

I stroked her hair as I embraced her and I felt her settle down a little. She pushed back from me a little and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her T-shirt, having to raise her arm up to do it. Melissa sniffed once and sighed. Her eyes met mine and she said sadly.

"You can't just tell someone they love you. It's not something that can be told, it can only be felt." Her face began to scrunch up again, "If you never remembered, I don't know. I couldn't even think of what to do! I just knew that I wanted you to be with me because you loved me!"

I sat there stunned! She had been without me, she had lived as a roommate, let me go on a date with another woman even! She...

"I love you Missy..." I whispered. My wife froze.

"I love you Melissa Comstock." I said more firmly.

Her eyes were staring into mine, piercing me. Looking for..."Ooomph!"

She was kissing me hard! With a ferocity that can only come from someone who was starving and had a complete meal set before him or her. In between kisses I could hear snippets of words like "love you" or "missed you" and "Dougie" along with various squeaks and moans.

We made it up to our room, since the couch wasn't nearly comfortable enough for us.

Now to end this story? It hasn't ended. We are both very much alive and very much in love. I thank my lucky stars for Missy, and the love she has for me.

So I guess I could end this story in the usual fashion.

"They Lived Happily Ever After!"

*****

Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant