Zinger

Teddy was not. As I rested against the wall, he moved behind me and started eating me out. When he had had his fill, he stood and finally started to push into me. I pushed back. I was tired, but I also wanted - needed - to hold him inside me. We had not sexed like this in a long time, and I did not want it to be over.

Teddy entered me easily, then took my hips in his hands, steadied me, and started fucking me. He had been hard for a long time, and I could tell he needed to come.

"Fuck me harder," I demanded, urging him on. He did, slamming in and out of me with abandon. He grunted as he came. I could feel him filling me. It was one of my favorite feelings.

Teddy could not or would not stop. He stayed hard and kept fucking me, his cum working as lube in my sore ass. Quickly, he came again, his grunt just as loud and as deep as the first one. He put his face to my back and relaxed, holding me as he did.

When he pulled out of me, I turned my back to the wall and slid down to the corner. I was emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Teddy collapsed onto the shower floor next to me, pressed his forehead to mine, and put his hand to the back of my head. I locked my arms around him, and put my chin to his shoulder. I do not know how long we stayed like that, but the warm water and the love washed over both of us.

I wanted to sleep. I used Teddy to steady myself, then pulled him to his feet. We stepped out of the shower, barely rubbed a towel over our bodies, and went to bed wet. Teddy laid on his back, and I laid next to him with my head on his shoulder and my hand in his chest hair. We were both quickly asleep.

Part Thirteen

Kyle shook me awake.

"It's late, and we're hungry." I opened my eyes to find the Ks staring at me. I raised up and looked at the clock. It was 8:47, and the Ks had not had dinner. I shook Teddy awake.

"We need to make dinner." Teddy looked at the clock and bolted up.

"It's late."

"Yes, and the boys are hungry."

"So am I."

Teddy looked to Kurt and Kyle and told them to go downstairs and get the eggs and pancake batter and bacon out of the refrigerator. "We're having breakfast for dinner."

When they had cleared out, Teddy and I quickly slipped into shorts and t-shirts. I stopped him as he headed toward the stairs, pulled him into me, and apologized into his chest.

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"I know. And, I know we have some things to work through. But, I can't fight you, Melissa's parents, and my boys all at the same time. I need someone on my side."

We held hands as we headed downstairs to the kitchen. We listened to Sinatra as we made breakfast dinner. We ate in the family room while we watched some mindless movie that 12 years olds find hilarious when they are twelve and that does not stand the test of time when they re-watch it later. Teddy sat in his chair, and we three Ks sat on the sofa. When we were done eating, the boys snuggled into me. I put my arms around each of them, and they burrowed into my chest.

I had never wanted to be a parent. After all, I had found a cat overwhelming. But, I was overwhelmed by how deeply the Ks had insinuated themselves into my heart and my psyche. I ached for them when I was at the office, and I thought about them whenever they were not around. I could not imagine how Teddy had sent the "candy boys" to New England; the Ks had been around only a few months, and I could not have survived sending them away. They were too important to me.

Teddy and I had been concerned they would miss their older brothers terribly, but they seemed to be happy to be out of the shadows and finally catching some sun. They no longer had to defer to M&M, and they were becoming more confident and assertive in their absence. I adored them, and - to my great surprise - they adored me. They did not fear my judgment as much as they feared their father's, so they shared bits with me that they did not share with him. Often, the three of us would laugh conspiratorially or share looks and smiles that suggested Teddy was the lone adult on Hastings. When we watched TV, they snuggled up to me. When they needed advice, they came to me. I was their conspirator and confidante and, sometimes when Teddy was out, their confessor.

We had kept the Ks out of school for the Spring semester as well. Teddy decided to home school them. We would start them in 8th grade the following Fall.

Time marched to the beat of our routine. When Teddy explained to Melissa's parents that their feelings on his life were inconsequential other than jeopardizing access they to their grandchildren, they decided to suppress their judgment, at least in their dealings with Teddy. I am sure it did not hurt that it was by now clear to them that if Kurt and Kyle had to choose between them and me, they were sure losers.

Teddy told his siblings why he was in Evanston. Their reaction was confused. They loved their brother, but his marriage to Melissa was an obstacle to their understanding of us and what we were doing. For whatever reason, they could not get their arms around Teddy's new normal, even though they had known me way back when Teddy was Zinger and I was "dork."

Kurt and Kyle turned 13 on April 20. To celebrate, we took them to the Cardinals/Cubs game that night at Wrigley Field. We sat Teddy, Kurt, Kevin, Kyle. The boys seemed jittery, and not just from too much soda and way too much cotton candy. They kept glancing at me, glancing at their dad, and then glancing at the scoreboard. If it had not been so furtive, then I'm not sure I'd have noticed. But, they were acting like they were on drugs.

During the 5th inning change-over, I discovered their "drug." As the grounds crew swept the field, the P.A. announcer interrupted the slight buzz of the crowd, "Kevin Michaels. Kevin Michaels. Please turn your attention to the jumbotron in center field."

I had heard my name, but the instructions had not registered. Kurt and Kyle grabbed my arms and snapped me out of my ignorance.

"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, look at the jumbotron . . . look at the jumbotron!!"

I followed their fingers. The jumbotron bore a simple message: "I want to marry you."

I furrowed my brow. I did not understand what was going on. I turned to Teddy. He was down on one knee with his hand out. I put my hand in his, and he said "I want to marry you."

I felt thousands of eyes on me. When I said "I want to marry you more," Teddy stood up and wrapped his arms around me. As I wrapped my arms around him, the crowd - at least the part that mattered to me - erupted. As Teddy kissed me, Kurt and Kyle jumped on us from behind. Both of them were hanging from my neck as Teddy engulfed the three of us and buried his face in ours. We were a bundle of pure joy, and we all started to cry. The Cubs played Train's "Marry me" over the P.A. system.

I choked "I love you, Teddy" through my tears. He choked "backatcha" through his. The Ks were too overwhelmed to say anything. I have no idea how long we stayed huddled like that, but it was certainly too long. When we finally separated, the folks in our section were still standing and still applauding. The world had changed dramatically in the last 15 years, from the scare-mongering of 2004 to the validating cheers a stadium of Cubbies.

I was too drunk on emotion to stay for the rest of the game. We headed home. As we did, Kurt spoke for Kyle.

"Kevin, you can choose either me or Kyle for your best man. Dad gets stuck with the other one."

I did not even think of Thom or any of my other friends. "I cannot choose between the two of you. So, you can just switch sides halfway through."

"Awesome," said Kyle. "I told you he wouldn't pick you," he said, glaring at Kurt.

We were all holding hands - Teddy, Kurt, Kyle, and Kevin - as we walked to the train. I had never been happier. I had the love of a good man. Correction, I had the love of a great man. Correction, I had the love of three great men.

Part Fourteen

Although marriage was legal everywhere, we decided to get married in Ogunquit, Maine, the second weekend of June. I loved Ogunquit. I had been going there since 2000, spending a long Fall weekend at the Beachmere Inn, Five-O Shore Road, MC's, Amore, and the Front Porch.

Teddy had stalled in telling the "candy boys." When he finally did, their reaction was predictable. They were appalled and insisted they would not attend. I no longer cared, but their father certainly did. The rupture was deepening. As we lay in bed that night, I told Teddy I did not need to marry him, if it was going to further the breach between him and the M&M.

"I am not going to let them determine my happiness," he insisted, indignantly.

"I'm just saying . . . . I know what we have and what we are . . . . And I know it's forever. I don't need some state's imprimatur to confirm that, especially if it is going to make M&M hate me more."

Teddy chuckled. "Like that's possible."

I was wounded, but I tried not to show it. I looked Teddy in the eyes. "We don't have to do this."

"Yes, we do. It's important to me. It's important to Kurt and Kyle. In fact, it was their idea."

"What do you mean?"

"Kurt raised it. I was in bed next to him months ago, and he said 'You should marry Kevin.' I asked 'You think so,' and he responded 'I know so.' I had not really thought about it before, at least not in any kind of concrete way, but I realized then and there that he was right."

"He was right."

We did not talk about M&M again. We knew they were isolating themselves, but we figured they had to work through this on their own. If we pushed, they would only push back.

* * * * *

The four of us flew to Boston on June 7 and then headed up the coast to Ogunquit. Our guest list was limited: my clerks, my assistant, my decrepit parents, Thom and a small group of my Chicago friends, Teddy's sister and her family, and Teddy's brother and his family. Invited and missing: M&M and Melissa's parents. M&M were boycotting out of intolerance. Melissa's parents may have preferred to be, but we knew they were too infirm to travel. Their days were measured in weeks, not months.

It rained all day on June 8. Not regular rain. Sideways rain.

That night, we took the second floor of MC's in the Cove and had a perfect evening. Everyone was excited and got along. We carried our revelry down Shore Road to the Front Porch for showtunes. We talked Kurt and Kyle in, even though they were only 13. We had a blast.

On Saturday, we awoke to more rain. We were supposed to get married at 6 p.m. on the lawn by the Marginal Way, but we could not defy the rain. Just after lunch, the rain stopped. The sky was still grey, but at least it was not open.

My family showed up at 4 for pictures. Teddy and I wore tan seersucker suits with orange ties, his traditional and mine bowed, and orange orchids on our lapels.

After pictures, we headed to the fire pit for drinks with our guests. It was raucous and electric.

Just before six, Teddy, Kurt, and Kyle and I joined hands and headed down the hill to the site. The string quartet welcomed us with Etta James' "At Last." Just as we took our place before the arbor, the sun came out. It was either serendipity or a sign. I took it as a sign.

As our first act, we lit candles for Melissa, Teddy's mom and dad, and my little sister, who had died years before in a car accident.

Then, we read poems to each other. I started with W.H. Auden's "If I Could Tell You," slightly modified:

Time will say nothing but I told you so,

Time only knows the price we have to pay;

If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,

If we should stumble when musicians play,

Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,

Because I love you more than I can say,

If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,

There must be reasons why the leaves decay;

Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,

The vision seriously intends to stay;

If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose all the lions get up and go,

And all the brooks and soldiers run away;

I will always love you more than I can say.

Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Teddy followed with Sonnett 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove,

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wand'ring bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken,

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Lover alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me prov'd,

I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

Kurt and Kyle switched sides before we followed with our personal vows. I started.

Before you, I was in love with the promise of you.

With you, I am in love with the promise of us.

I promise to spend our married life becoming the man

you see when you look at me.

I promise to spend our married life becoming the man who

deserves who I see when I look at you.

I promise to spend our married life loving you with all my heart.

Always and forever.

I promise.

Teddy followed:

Kevin, today is a very special day.

I get to marry you: The person I love more than anyone else.

30 years ago you were just a fantasy, an ideal.

But here I am: Marrying just that person.

You make me happy.

You support me, you challenge me to be a better person,

you have taught me how to love.

We have waited such a long time for this, and now that we are here,

I get to promise to be your friend and life partner no matter

what life brings to us.

I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you,

caring for you, nurturing you, being there for you in all life

has for us, and I pledge my commitment to you,

secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend,

and my one true love.

We exchanged rings and promised eternal love. I cried as we did.

When the ceremony was over, we had a brilliant dinner at the Beachmere. We laughed about what was, we cried about what wasn't, and we tried to figure out the gap between. Kurt and Kyle seemed to be the happiest of all of us, and that made me happier than I had ever been.

When the night had run its course, Teddy and I retired to our room. There was no novelty, only familiarity. But, even the familiar can be different. We had never made love as a married couple. That night we did.

I was on my back, and Teddy was hovering over me and kissing me and teasing me about being his "wife." I wanted to protest, but our positions left me, well, in the wife role.

We kissed and kissed and kissed as he hovered over me and I ran my hands over his smooth back and ass. Our future was apparent and evident in those kisses. I moved my hands to the hairy chest I loved so much. As I did, he pressed his hard dick at my taint. We both knew where this was headed, so I decided to end the suspense.

"Fuck me."

"Gladly, Ms. Azinger," he joked as he pressed his dick at my ass.

His Ms. Azinger made me want to turn the tables.

"Never mind. Ride me, Ms. Michaels."

Teddy laughed as he called my bluff. "Gladly," he said as he positioned himself over my hard dick. As he slid down me, I gasped. His legs spread wide, he stayed perfectly upright, his hands on my stomach. In this position, I was able to rub his chest and stomach as he rode me. As I got close, I put my hands on his hip bones and tried to slow him down. I failed. He rode me fast and hard until I came powerfully in his ass. My head and back were arched off the bed as I did. I collapsed into the pillow, spent and sweaty.

Teddy pulled off and leaned over me, his beautiful dick in my face. No matter what I wanted, I wanted him in my mouth more. I cupped his ass and drove him in and out of my face. I opened my throat and took him all the way down. When I did, he exploded, filling my mouth and throat. I took all he had to offer. I refused to stop, sucking him until he could not take any more and had to pull out of my mouth.

Teddy collapsed onto me. I locked my legs around him and tried to pull him through me. I squeezed him as hard as I could until he pulled his head back and stared at me.

"I love you, husband."

"I love you, too, husband," I responded.

He kissed me. I kissed him back, trying to pour myself into him. When the kiss finally broke, we had almost nothing left. Teddy rolled off of me, and we turned into each other. I put my right hand around his neck, and he put his left hand around mine. We pulled each other close until our mouths and chests and dicks were touching. I took his big toe between my toes. He put his left leg over my legs.

I opened my mouth, and he pushed his tongue in. I circled his tongue with mine. I have no idea how long we kissed, but I was the one to break it.

"I still want you to fuck me."

"Gladly," he said.

I rolled onto my right side, and Teddy moved in behind me. He gripped me with his left arm as he pushed at my ass. I hooked my left leg around his, and pushed back into him. He bit my neck as he pushed at my ass. I rolled onto my stomach, pulling him on top of me. Quickly, I had both of his hands in mine, his head was in my neck, his chest and stomach were in my back, his dick was in my ass, and his feet were covering mine. We were two as one. We laid like that, neither of us moving, each of us soaking the other in, breathing in the same rhythm.

When I thought it could not get more intimate, Teddy started to move inside me, slowly pulling out and pushing back in. His thick dick paralyzed me with pleasure. I lay perfectly still as he fucked me, every part of our body touching that could. When he whispered he was close, I insisted he stop. When he pulled out of me, I rolled over, spread my legs, and wrapped them around him. He re-entered me. Our mouths met. As I hooked my legs around his, he started to move in and out of me again. I used my legs and arms to pull him closer. He sped up as he pressed his mouth to mine, his chest and stomach against mine. I whispered "make love to me" as he pushed in and out of me. We were moving as one. I was totally, completely at his mercy.

We went on like that, slowing down and speeding up to make it last as long as we could. Finally, I could not take any more, and I arched my back. Teddy read me perfectly, raised himself up, and started to drive into my more powerfully. I came, shooting arcs of cum over my stomach and chest and onto my face. Seeing me cum, Teddy could not resist. He filled me, his warm cum filling me as he stared into my eyes before collapsing onto me. We were soaked in sweat and covered in cum. I kissed his bald head. He raised his face to mine, and we kissed, deeply and truly. He licked some of the cum off my face, then kissed me again, letting me taste myself.

Teddy broke the kiss, falling off of me onto his right side. I rolled over to face him, pressing my lips to his. We fell asleep kissing . . . married . . . happy.

Part Fifteen

We took Kurt and Kyle and headed to the Amalfi coast for our honeymoon. We invited Matthew and Mark, but they, of course, declined. They'd rather eat a bucket of wet hair than spend two weeks with me in Italy. So, they stayed in New England with their friends/D.C. with Melissa's parents.

We loved the Amalfi coast, especially Positano. The four of us had a great trip. It was fueled by the euphoria of Maine, and Kurt and Kyle were riding the highest.