The only son of Sir Edward Todger and Lady Clytemnestra (known as Clittie), I lived with my maternal grandfather, Major Hardon, after being sent down from Eton for sodomizing the headmaster's wife. Grandad's mail-order Russian bride proved to be most committed to my sexual education: A commitment that sadly resulted in the stroke that widowed her. In hindsight, I feel a bit bad about that. We should have made sure the bedroom door was locked. Since then, I've been living off the old coot's money and trying in vain to find a perversion I don't enjoy. If anyone can help, I'm looking for a girl who'll dress up as a sheep and doesn't mind me cross-dressing as Bo Peep. If you're up for it, send me a picture. | 
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