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Click hereTwo small white houses are perched on a hilltop
A Greek Sistine chapel of painted windows
Huddled together like safety in harness
Look out oe’r the white onyx snow
No one has seen a priest coming or going
Nor small congregation to kneel down and pray
No one has told them about the great furnace
While they sit in their houses alone
Across the red cauldron with beads of desire
A vista of tranquility
Wiping the dust from their doorsteps of fire
Trying so hard to be clean…
Mudded and lonesome and sat upon haunches
A small squatting hippo of black pumice stone
Posing forever as snapped on safari
Sinks in to the white onyx snow
No one has seen him roll over or wallow
Nor stand and be counted, no tear in his eye
No one has told him about Serengeti
As he lies upon haunches alone
Surrounded by candles of fine jasmine scent
An odour of tranquility
Wiping his eyes with the flames of torment
Trying so hard to be seen…
Perched on the clifftop live three little puffins
Nurturing eggshells while one stands on stone
Watching and waiting the clowns of their faces
Look out oe’r the vista below
No one has seen them fly out from their eerie
Nor dive in the water, no fish to bring home
No one has told them of Atlantic places
As they perch on the clifftop alone
Little Greek houses and hippos of stone
Majestic birds of the seas
Serenely with beauty I look at them now
The objects, on my mantlepiece.
© Gaia_Lorraine 2006
A nice little poem that took me back to my holidays in Greece but with something not quite right that wasn't resolved until the end.
A delightful resolution and the poem has a nice meter and rhyming pattern.
Very enjoyable.
From MyNecroticSnail...
an aha moment at the end, not quite enuff ride in the middle to get there.
it is "eyre" not "eerie" if you use the right word, it is play enuff.
Why "oe’r"?
and probably needs a few commas.
That's enuff nits for now.
From the author...
Replace oe'r with over and insert a few commas then the beat disintegrates. The poem is pure rythm, feel it in your soul as it was written.
Enough nits for now implies more to come. Keep 'em coming O great master of poets.
Words are both a joy and a toy to me, read "Spine of a Penis" or "Fetus" and you will see. I will choose the words, the reader can choose the meaning.
an aha moment at the end, not quite enuff ride in the middle to get there.
it is "eyre" not "eerie" if you use the right word, it is play enuff.
Why "oe’r"?
and probably needs a few commas.
That's enuff nits for now.
This poet continues to grow and impress. A wonderful transformation of the mundane into the magical. Hope to see more soon.
Had me wondering
Where you were going with this
Till resolution in last strophe;
An 'ah ha!' moment,
Now to reread it...