All Comments on 'Amy Finds Her Muse'

Nice work, Jake. This story felt real and I particularly liked how you paced it slowly and gave us every day details of life. The sex scenes were good and also believeable. The revenge was subtle, but complete

The author was able to paint the terrible pain of losing his love one. The anguish of seeing your child suffer is a burden that no parent want it repeated again and again. The need to move on is so important.

Though the story moves slowly, yet it provides a real happenning in such a situation. The ending was just right too. As they say, what goes around comes around.

Jake, this story was very different from a lot of your stories. Your focus on the husband and his growth was a nice change from a lot of the stories on the site.

Even though the relationship with Barbara was predictable (and you telegraphed that it was coming), your story is a great read from start to finish.

Even though you probably didn't intend this, your characters are developed enough to support a complete sequel. Amy could go back to Paris and do a Bobbitt on Peter, as he's going to keep deceiving and using other women. In the mean time, John and Barbara could kick out four or five rug rats to keep Amanda company. I also liked Lynn - I could see her, Mark, John, Barbara, and the rather nice in-laws having some fun on a cruise or in Vegas (living well is indeed the best revenge)...

Long, and sometimes a bit more slow-moving than it needed to be, but very powerful and emotional.

ohio

When you find a good well written story,it is a pleasent supprise.Thanks!

You did telegraph the ending a bit too much and some of the sections were a little slow, but it was still a very good story.

Some people will bitch about it being a revenge fantasy and that he was mean to the ex but thats horse shit imo. He didnt go out of his way to do anything to the ex (except stopping her from seeing the kid and that wasnt to hurt her). The ex was totally without merit as a person and totally believable at the same time. In fact its depressing to know there are really people like her around. Dumb, self-centered and shallow.

Nothing wrong with getting divorced and falling in love with someone new (starting to look/act while you pretend to still be happily married makes you a lowlife parasite though) but her behavior/expectations after it all fell apart was what really bugged me about her. She was still the same as when she left him for the smarmy sweet-talker. She was still a useless lump and a drain on those around her who expected others to make everything all right. That she had the nerve to come see him and start sniffing around like she wanted to come back home was enough to make me dislike her even if I hadnt already (for being dumb - not for leaving him).

Its also depressing to know that many people are so dumb that they are easy marks for guys like the art teacher. Nothing to do with gender really either. Dumb women may fall for different things than dumb guys but both are easily lead by scumbags who are willing to tell them what they want to hear. Guys are just as likely to fall for a bimbo who tells them what a manly stud they are as women are to fall for used car salesmen types who pretend they are interested in them as a person. Just a byproduct of our culture of entitlement and everyone believing they deserve more imo.

Anyway, a nice happy ending for everyone who deserved one. Guy gets a better wife. Child gets a better mother. Friend gets a nice guy. Business is doing well. Only one out in the cold is the ex. Just how I like my fictional stories.

quite a long story but i found it an easy read. good job.

But your story focused on what has happened in many marriages. Amy was sick . Peter was sick. People like them are always looking for something to stimulate their lives. Raising another human being is hard work. It's necessary work. Without it we would fall in to total anarchy.

Being married and a parent isn't the easist thing to do. John was fortunate that Amy was the only defective one in the family. Your story was long and arduious. I had to plod through the mundane things that go with raising a child. Amy didn't like the mundane and now she has had reality slap her in the face. Too bad soo sad. Tough luck and all that. She brought it all on herself. Sorry to ramble on but you obviously spent a lot of time bringing this tale to me...Thanks.

kudos on a good story well written!

there were a couple minor tweaks i would like to see, (less telegraphing and more complex people with faults), but they are so minor and really my problem rather than a problem with the story.

an excellent work!

... but at least good. I agreed with Anonymous from Ohio. The story would be more better, you may cut the lengths. The story wins.

Nucleus

*excuse my bumpy english

...but it could have been much better. Learn what needs to be taken out, what must be left in a page of text to advance the story line. I think this could have been told very leisurely in about 2/3 the number of words. As it is, it gets tedious.

Also, Jake, it’s getting very boring for the betrayed husband to become rich, influential, and darned near a perfect kind of guy while the wayward wife fritters her life away somewhere else. It’s not just you; it’s been in lots of stories lately. Find something new and unique, Jake.

This is one of the better stories in "Loving Wives." I see no major faults with the story. A minor point is the considerable details given about how John have to organize his life and coordinate it with Barabara's and her parent's lives, during the first half of the story. But even that convincingly demonstrated how he and the other three all worked together to care for Amanda and run the household. The result is an excellent story that is worth reading later a second time in order to pickup things not caught in the first reading. The story's end is outstanding. To me it has all the essential elements that make for a tear producing finale. Congratulations, Jake1960.

RAG

Excellent read!

story,it kept my interest the whole way.It was obvious who he was going to marry(I'd have strangled him if he had'nt).We do not need a sequal,and it had just enough words.

Well done and very entertaining. I hope to see more of your work

very well put together,,,, though we blood thirsty audiencee would have liked to see the suffering suspended in mid air longer --- watch such a heartless woman suffer (not just going into "shock", which prevents them from really really feeling the acute pains a normal person is capable of) --- it is enough that John and Barbara have pulled that Las Vegas stunt, seemingly just in time to make it clear to "first mommy" that she's a shallow human being who doesn't deserve the little girl's love or devotion,,,

it's good to see the little Holmes girl, after hugging the "first mommy" perfunctorily, ran to grab the young women who raised her as a loving and devoed mother, saying, "Mommy, come and see first mommy," all the while holding on tight to Barbara's leg, Barbara who was standing tall as a poised, mature young woman whose love and devotion towards both John and her niece Amanda had finally earned her the father and daughter team their deepest love and appreciation,,,,,

good story with the good, the bad and the ugly characters and how they eventually play out their roles,,,

the parent's POV. They seemed to be very warm, very stable, very solid folks. Barbara seemed to have modeled herself after them, imagining a good life with John and her niece/daughter, Amanda,,,,

Some readers do not like long stories but I love them when they are detailed and rich in content like this story. I prefer the complete story filing because if it runs late I can always stop and pick it up the next day. When authors break their stories up in parts I just want for the final part to read all of them as a whole. That way I can assess the whole story for any comments.

Clearly, for a mother to leave her one year child and husband speaks that there was something wrong with her. At first, I thought you were going to have John investigate and expose Peter thereby winning her back. However, her actions indicated that she really had little regard for her child let alone John. She burned her bridges with John and her family when she surrendered her parental rights regarding Amanda.

When you introduced Barbara I suspected how this story would end and I was ok with that. You portrayed very well a normal guy in a single parent situation so surprises at the end would drive the story toward fantasy land. For example, suppose that Amy had rushed back shortly after John had hooked up with Lynn why would he take her back? Suppose Peter had turned out to be a prince then Amy would still have to face the issue of her abandonment of Amanda. If she had gotten what she wanted initially she still would have been a mother 4 weeks or 8% of the year.

What I liked most of this story was the fact that John was an adult who moved on with his life. This is exactly what most people do when a tragedy or a brick hits them. While most husbands do not marry their ex-wife's sister after a divorce it is good to see a mature response to John's loss.

Another title for this story could be "Amy's Choice".

SleeplessinMD

Jake,

I really liike this one and can't wait for the next. True talent is showing through, both in this one and your first effort. Keep up the great work.

Thanks for a fine story.

Decent quality writing though the author's style makes a long story like this a bit wearying to read in one sitting.

The tale is rather too long for my taste and there were a number of scenes that didn't add much to the storytelling. A good precis pass or two will help.

The character descriptions are reasonably well-done. We understand who John, Amy, Barbara, and Lynn are. The author shows us in word and deed their traits, the strengths and their weakness. All except for Amy. Her character is a mystery. We see the facts of what she does (divorces her husband, signs away her parental rights, abandons her child and marries a three-time loser) but not the motivations why. The author doesn't explore her thoughts much except to show her as a selfish person interested only in her art. Either she is the coldest bitch alive for abandoning her daughter or mentally unstable. Amy's the impact character in the story and the author doesn't use the literary element to good advantage.

John and Barbara don't come across as realistic because they're just too perfect to be believed. I mean, come on, John has no flaws? Sheesh, make him hate cats or dislike firemen or obsess about his weight. Something, anything but nauseating perfection.

Ditto for Barbara. As a teenager, I would think she'd be freaked out by what her sister did but she accepts it without much complaint. She has no qualms about living with her brother-in-law while her parents cruise the world in their RV. Somehow she should at least ponder what meaning, if any, these have but she doesn't. She has no uncertainties, no insecurities, doesn't hate anyone, is loved by humanity at large and never has a bad thought. Please.

Lynn is more credible as she's seen the ugly side of life a time or two. She's a friend to Amy when she needs a friend and Lynn's not afraid to go after what she wants. There's a lot to like about her character and I did.

The story's narrative drive is very modest as the plot isn't deep. As soon as John suggests that Barbara become Amanda's nanny and move in with him, it was plain where the story was headed. This predictability made it hard to read all the verbiage looking for hints or clues because you don't need them.

The story has two conflicts: Amy's withdrawal from the marriage followed by the divorce, and John and Barbara falling in love. The author tosses no curve balls and we aren't surprised by what happens in the story.

Excellent fiction this is not. It's pretty good fiction if you don't mind the length. This 50's for you, jake60, for a story reasonably well-told. I thank you for your effort.

Took you long enough to get there, but living well is the best revenge.

Boring sex. Plot is slow as molasses in Alaska. You could move things along if you'd remember to show, not tell.

Jane

that i was able to read the story in one sitting.

im glad that the husband were focused on the future and not on getting even w/ his ex-wife and lover.

Well done. Definitely a nice story. Keep it up.

Jake that was very fine writing Jake i was routing for John and Barb i hope they have alot in common and amy gets herself together keep up the great stories.

Pat 54.

Atlanta,Ga

Wow Jake, I must say that this story is on the top of the "Hurt, Divorce, Revenge, and Love " stories of all times. WELL done. To the readers that make comment's like "not enough sex, or it's to long", and other CRAP like that I say DON'T READ IT THEN!!!! I for one love a good REVENGE story but I too like a good story like this with a happy ending for the ex-husband and the child!!!!!

GOOD JOB jake60.....

If anyone has a comment about MY comment then email me 'cause once I read a story I don't go back...

Paul

I can't agree with the knockers - it's getting extremely petty when critics have to complain that the characters are too good...

It's also great that you posted this in one piece - I'm not sure it had quite enough overt drama to keep readers coming back for 3 or 4 chapters. This is definitely a story which could not have survived as a serial, so good choice.

And, it wasn't a revenge story IMO. John remarried for love, not once imagining Amy would be coming back to try and claim him again.

Best of all the story had an ending! Everthing wasn't tied up - it didn't need to be, but there was enough outcome to leave the story where it is now.

The author obviously worked on his ending, and the work was rewarded with a strong story with a confident finale.

Maybe there were some typos and grammatical errors, but the story was interesting enough that I didn't see any.

while the story was over long it was well written and a most satisfactory outcome. Never forget that the critics are usually anonymous and have not submitted any stories. Says it all really.

You charted and plotted then wrote a detailed revealing story of selfish and selfless commitment to a little one and the marriage that produced her.

Was it long? Yes and in your style it was not an impediment as we knew almost everything necessary about everyone except the weird stepford mommie.

Predictable? Well almost. With the warmth and understanding of your delivery it was a solid effort and well appreciated. Also impressive was the aura of respect and the credibility it drove. Her consequence was earned and well delivered. A very strong Marital Consequence Story.

I am very impressed with your product(s) and hope for more as you continue to grow - if that's what you wish.

Thanks Author

With High Regard

I just enjoyed the story. That's what counts the most.

Phil

I enjoyed this very good story. By all means, it gave space and time for characters and plot to develop. With an edited version (I had to skim over more than few paragraphs which were overly detailed) the story could have been even better.

One comment to the style. You tend to report on events and developments in a summary mode (I am paraphrasing): His business grew; the rest of the evening was very satisfying to both of them; he grew more and more attached to her etc. Some is unavoidable, and I certainly don’t suggest that you replace those summaries with more details. But IMO this summary mode makes the story look more like a log, and takes away from the sense of dynamics of the plot. You might want to consider more showing of the changes rather than reporting on them. There are more ways to get around passages of times without turning those parts into ‘reports’. But there was enough good stuff in the story to keep me engaged (I loved the ending). Are you sure it’s only your second story?

I liked this story very much. It did move a little slowly at times, and personally I wasn't a fan of the story cutting to Barbara's self-musings (as her feelings were very obvious without the needed inner-dialogue), but other than that, no complaints.

Cheers.

This was a truly excellent novella. Loved it. Couldn't put it down. Could have been longer, actually - the ending was just a little too abrubt. An unquestionable Five. One of those stories that puts the Lit in Literotica.

This is a very enjoyable story, keep on with your work.

This hit very close to home for me. I married my highschool sweetheart when she was 19 and I was 21. She was a very talented singer and actress in highschool. She tried college but we couldn't stand the seperation and married. I got a job as a fireman and we bought a tract home. Had two kids by the time we were married three years. Then she like Amy began to be distant. Sex declined and fighting got bad. She started going out with girl friends to bars. Finally she took off for a weekend to *visit with a college friend*. I tracked down the friend and phoned asking for my wife. She was not there. The blowup when she returned led to me leaving and staying with my parents. In a few months she asked for a divorce. She asked for nothing but her car and gave me custody of the kids, then 2 and 4 years old. She left town to live with a rock and roll band leader who swooned her. Childcare was a nightmare as I worked 24 hour shifts. Finally I hired my brothers ex girlfriend who was 18 and just graduated from highschool. One summer day my mates from work wanted to go to a remote hotsprings which I had been to many times. They were all married and I knew it would be a skinny diping affair so not wanting to go alone I asked my nanny to go with me. It was after dark when we arrived so not much was revealed as we jumped into the chest high pool. After some wine and a joint we were feeling little pain (this took place in the mid 1960s era). The nanny and I were off side by side in a corner when we went into a full spontanious kiss that suprised the hell out of me. She put her arms around my neck and rapped her legs around my waist.....and well we did the deed. We became lovers and for 6 months life was good again.

Then my ex phoned one day telling me she had left her abusive boyfriend and was moving back to town. She of course wanted to see the kids for the first time sense she left. I agreed and she would see them once a week usually. Then after she had been back for several months she came to the house at 11 pm unannounced, just walked in. The nanny and I were watching tv laying on the living room carpet. The nanny was in one of my t shirts, nothing else. The ex finaly fiqured out that the nanny was much more than a nanny. She slammed the door and screetched away. I think it finally dawned on her that she had really screwed up. She started counceling and a month or so later we had a long talk. She wanted to come home. God what a hard decission I was faced with. In the end I still loved her deeply and could not take her kids from her. Then I was faced with telling the nanny. She took it very badly and never spoke to me again. Our family doctor when hearing of what had happened had us come for a visit. He explaigned that some women after a childbirth have a serious hormonal imballance and that that is clearly what had happened to my wife. Had we gone to him early on he could have treated her. We went on to have two more kids, raised all four to adulthood, had a great marrage....until the midlife crises years. We are now divorced but remain friends. She is married to a drama teacher and she directs childrens plays. Life goes on. Bob

Whose story brings to life readers’ true life stories; then inspires them to share them with us!

To the Anon in California. I am sure your personal story could have made a remarkable story in Lit. I am afraid though that your personal choice at the end (to reunite with your ex) would have met some stiff disapproval by some readers who tend to evaluate stories by the theme and even plot decisions the author makes, not by the quality of the story itself.

I commend you for choosing love over hurt. I have to agree with Kolkore that if your story had been posted on this site there would be those who would detract your decision. It is easy when you read a story which by definition has a beginning, a middle and an end to judge what someone should or should not do. In real life, we are like fishermen never knowing what storms lie ahead or what awaits around the bend just trying to harvest what life has in store for us.

Good fiction is about winners; either a loser who become a winner or a winner overcoming adversity. In the story "Consequences - Dalia" by thecelt, the wife betrayed her husband by cheating first in her mind even though she never went through to fuck her soon-to-be lover. When Amy allowed Peter to come between her and John she betrayed her marriage. The physical act of fucking Peter was just the icing on the cake.

Unfortunately many writers use the fact that she(he) did not fuck their lover as a basis for reconciliation even though for long buildup to cheating that is a clear sign that the marriage is dying - almost dead. How can you have any respect and love for your partner when you have been plotting for months to cheat on him or her? So, the writer just script in an intervention (usually by the husband), she says that she is sorry (cue in the tears and sobbing) and they get back together. Sorry that does not work in the real world.

Thanks again for sharing your story!

SleeplessinMD

Even better if it had been posted in a few smaller parts instead of one huge piece...

... mich durch die lange Geschichte gearbeitet. Es ist für mich nicht immer leicht gewesen, die Zusammenhänge zu begreifen. Ich habs geschafft und bin froh, dass ich so eine gute Geschichte lesen durfte. Vielen Dank dafür.

*** Nucleus ***

I really enjoyed this story. The pain and the search for love is just intense. I hope that you will continue writing with the same intensity and passion as this story. I look forward to reading other stories by this author.

Nice tale, but Hubby marrying the teenage sister seemed a litte creepy to me. And to Anon in Cali, you wre played. Her "hormonal imbalance" didn't kick in until Loverboy started kicking her ass. And she left you AGAIN!!!?! You should write that story. If for nothing else,it would be a cautionary "road map" for RAAC (Reconciliation-at-any-cost) crowd.

homo sapiens sapiens have establish, in practically all culture, for the longest time in history a pattern of bonding where a sibling of a missing parent to a children comes in to take care of it and doing it more successfully and happily than any other arrangement.

this case it makes more sense than the husband taking a risk going "outside" of the family. the young sister has for all intents and purpses become the little baby's mother those couple years. "mommy number one" is, to her, literally and metaphorically, nothing more than a phrase; she has no emotional attachment to that woman any long; the mother-child bonding has been between the child and her aunt, who is truly her mother in the truest sense of the word.

it is nothing incestuous or any thing; and what makes this particular situation more fitting is that the young woman has set her mind to love the baby's father; she does not want to be like her sister and is rolling up her sleeves, since she's in her final years of high school, to become a responsible young woman and then a mother to a little girl whose mother had coldbloodedly abandoned, in the latter's nonsensical quest to find her "muse", which turned out to be less than what she had hoped,,, it's more an adventure than a true artistic quest, which, if were true, she would still be pursuing regardless of that womanizing old man she abandoned her whole family for, supposedly!

good

I guess she figures he would always be waiting for her to come back....NOT! I like that part of the story, but no payback for Peter??? I would planned on some revenge on him also as "living well" only pays back Amy for all the hurt. Only gets a 75 because of this.

Multiple lies to her husband:

1. Lied to sister twice about going with Jerry and Allison knowing Allison not there ("Donna was invited out for a few drinks and some card playing with your friends Allison and Jerry"--Kathy) His sister was not in on it since she would have warned Donna and Jerry before he left his sister's house.

2. Lied about just a little visit 2nd time--when appears pre-meditated especially dropping Bobby off ("I think I just expected we might fool around like we had the first time"--as if multiple reciprocated oral sex isn't cheating if you do that again)

3. Final response letter denies trip to mall very flagrantly (" I saw him driving down the street one day last week, but beyond that I haven't seen him at all.")

3b. Just meeting him at mall during her lunch break bespeaks of a relationship lie no matter what her explanation could be--she should stay clear of him at all costs if she valued her marriage and truly loved her husband -----also incredibly suspicious that she didn't return to work-- Frank couldn't locate her car in her office parking lot

3c. Writing the e-mail so late--1:30 A.M.when she had written to him each day earlier is certainly suspicious of a rendezvous with Jerry that day--why not an explanation in her response why she wrote so late?

4. Doesn't tell sister all details first time when sister leaves first message for Hugh

5. Appears to be lies about her intentions the second time--no one allows that a second time if truly don't want to have sex--she wouldn't have let him go near her--drugs in drinks or not

Great story--glad he didn't put up with lies!!!!!!

this is "Amy finds her muse" not "shutdown fever" Jake60 your a good writer. Keep em coming,thanks Luis

I would say that this a damned good story...well plotted, good character development, etc. Most of all it has a discernible beginning, middle, and ending. The ending was well constructed, and left the reader with a sense of closure. Keep writing good stuff like this. Well done!!

Cheers!

so I'll just echo a couple of things.

Well written and nicely developed with a clear beginning, middle and end. The ending was handled quite well, albeit with some sadness.

I think the length was fine and I prefer it all at once rather than in pieces. Good reasons for thin but I'll not bother to get into that.

Please keep up the great writing.

Regards, Jack

Very long, but an excellent story. The sister thing was to be expected, although our hero seemed to just jump right in with that presumptuous proposal. The wife was the typical self-centered cheating wife to think she can just pop back into his life and be forgiven. At least she had the courage to make a break with the cretin artist, but that was all her ego, too. She did deprive the cretin of his expected threesome. And, don't worry; eventually a woman he has destroyed will blow his brains out. And though our hero was too kind to offer financial help, that will be just salt in her wounds over time. It will just make her realize even more how stupid she was, and what she gave up. And her little sister is reaping the rewards of her stupidity.

Why the high rating and all those praising comments for this story? Not in my opinion! Nothing more than average.

Dull because the 'hero' is always nice, prudent, sensible and so on. I think behind all that he is an irritating control freak. Story to long for the little that happens and placed in the wrong category. In "Loving Wives" stories must be "Tales of adventurous married women & their mates"; this is a story about a man who divorces his stupid adventurous women and about the growing love between him and a schoolgirl who baby-sits his daughter while he is having sex with another woman because he is to blind to see the schoolgirl is going to be his new love-for-ever-after for he is too well-behaved, honest and good to be able to see he could fall in love in a sexual sense with someone under the age of 18. (By the way what kind of nonsense is that to use a legal boundary between being a child and being adult as a mental and biological boundary? Typical American hypocrisy!)

Also the little sexual parts in the text (between the far more long-winded non-sexual parts) are not to good told, not erotically and no good literature, so not a top list literotica story!

I've enjoyed this story the best out of your 4 offerings. Bit long, but well written and made very good reading. Hope you can deliver more stories in the future.

Wow, I thoroughly enjoyed your story. It was great. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. The first time I have ever done that for a story of this length.

Jake60s stories are clearly getting better !!

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at 1st I thought this was going to be older guy fucks the Nanny thing...sort of like a Just Plain Bob story. But the author handled the crossover as Barbara grew up really nicely.

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In this one it is the wife ...AMY... who drives who the whole story and she is NOT well developed at all as a character. Her motivations are non existant. AS a result we dont if in the end AMY suffers enough or not. .

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Amy says she found out the true Nature of the artist in Paris from the 1st wife. She didnt beleive her at first. Then she found him cheating on her. Then she found out the 1st wife ex-husband comitted suicide followed by the 1st wife.

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STILL Amy did not come home. She did not even tell her own parents or Lynn nor communicate in anyway.

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Not one time over two years overseas did her conscious kick in. Not one time. Amy came back ONLY when the situation in Paris became too intolerable for her.

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Right and wrong and decency never entered into it.

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Then Amy says she freaked out when Lynn told her she (lynn) was fucking John.

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Finally Lets got back to the end of the story BEFORE Amy learned that Barb and John had gotten married. Amy got very angry VEEEEERY quickly when she found out that Amanda had been adopted by Barbara.

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Up until the moment Amy finally learns that John is married there is some part of her that STLL thinks she did nothing SERIOUSLY wrong. Oh Amy may have realized that she hurt John badly but she really believed she had to do it and besides dumb old stupid John will still be there right?

Selfish spoiled little girls always think their shit is golden. Normally I really take Harry's critiques to heart. But on this one I think he is barking at the wrong tree. Amy in this story if anything is overdeveloped. She comes thru as a cold calculating betraying bitch. She stops giving her husband sex so he wont have to have seconds. She never fights losing her daughter totally. She gets married and then begrudges her ex of having sex with her friend. She becomes angry that her sister adopted her daughter and then realizes he wont forgive and forget as she wanted because he is married, the nerve of him, all she did commit aduitry then run off and marry someone feeding her a line of shit. There was another author that wrote a story line along this scenario. But he has the ex blackmail the still wife for sex to earn money. Not really a lot different than this story. It was interesting that the wife financed the trip to Paris with money she "stole" from her exhusband by way of taking out a $20,000 llne of credit. My goodness didnt she deserve that, after those years of sex and giving him a child she virtually abandoned from birth? After all what did he really do for her besides provide a car, home, lifestyle, and pay for her education? Yep he was better off without her and found a woman that really loved him.

A little long for my short attention span but I still enjoyed it. Thanks for a good story. PAPATOAD

Ninety percent of this story can be skipped, as it is not only boring but also not relevant. When his wife suddenly, without warning, tells she leaves him, he is not even angry, but cries instead, does nothing to stop his foolish wife. A marriage like this is hardly possible: she leaves him without even having discussed anything with him; how long did they know one another? Two weeks? And the smirking seducer, why did the husband not at least tell him he is a bastard? For the rest I still do not understand any person in this fictatious mess, and so the plot remains improbable. As I said, read the first and the last part, and you know the story. The rest is not even relevant, or at least predictable.

Thanks... Great Story. One of the better developed stories you will read on this site.

There were a couple of things that gave me food for thought. I thank you for letting me witness Amy's final failure as a person. I really wish you had made Peter get something./..

NYMINUS

I'm getting very sick of the ID10Ts (yes spelled the way I wanted to), who harp and carp about the "adventurous married women" label associated with the genre. If you don't like a story, fine mark it down, but attacks against other preferences is hypocrisy, juvenile, and probably futile. I like long stories, but don't mark down short ones. I ask for expanded versions. If on LITERotica you notice something with ten chapters, it may be too long for a gnats' attention span. There are plenty of other shorts to peruse. I thought this story was interesting and engaging. The characters were people I wanted to know more about. Of course Amy wasn't a major contributor to the story, she absenced herself from their lives and returned after life caught up with her. She traded a sure thing in for a gamble and lost. I hope her ART keeps her warm. Any woman that sacrifices her child and major for a fruit loop, deserves her rewards.

Jake60, thanks for a moving story and for entertaining a lot of readers. Personally I find 'stroke' and 'cuck' stories boring. Please continue sharing with us!

Of all your stories I like this one the best. I hated one of your stories; the one about the wife and her black cock lifestyle that her husband forgives immediately.

I do agree that Amy's charactor could have been developed much more. It is like she was a bystander both before and during the story. I loved the romantic developement of Barbara. I also agree that Amy could have just left and run back for forgiveness when she found out the truth about Peter. She waited too long and lost out to baby sister! I loved the part about the portrait of her sadness expressing her view of her mistake. Yet, she still did not come back. (My brother died from bone marrow cancer caused by agent Orange in 1973.) He attended art school the last two years of his life and had painted a poignant oil of an open grave with a headstone enscribed with R.I.P. This painting was done before he was advised he was dying. Interesting how people somehow know intuitively when their life is really over...isn't it? I saw that on the battlefieds of Vietnam as well...you know...with the letters given to you before they are killed? Oh, well, just musing. This story, or rather the charactors could have been developed even more and then the story could have become a bestseller I think! It reminded me of movies of the 30s and 40s.

P.S. I think in a comment you made about another story that hardly anyone liked... You say that you are not a good enough writer or you would be selling your stories. I disagree when you write like this!

Well written and kept me interested even though you pretty much knew what was going to happen. Almost everything else I was going to comment on was covered nicely in the comment just before mine. In the beginning, I was waiting for John to fight for Amy. Especially, when Peter turned and gave John a smug smirk when he was leaving with Amy, giving John a glimpse of Peter's character. I thought John might be concerned for her safety and hire a PI to see what kind of a guy he was, even though a lot of damage had already been done to his marriage he still cared about Amy. For all anybody knew she was flying out of the country with a white slaver. It was still entertaining, even though it was a little too predictable. Thank you, I enjyed it.

Greatly enjoyed this story. I have to disagree with those who think it was to long, it gave us a chance to get into the characters. Many also seemed to think Amy should have been developed more, I'm not sure this was the case, as she wasn't a main character. She was the ex wife, the story is more about what happened after she left. I would consider the main characters to be the husband and Barb, Lynn was more important to the story than Amy was. Amy did get what she deserved though didn't she! as did the husband and Barbara, loving partners who truly cared for them. Excellent story, well written with a great ending

Great characters, loved John, evaluated, planned, followed through with what would enable him to properly raise Amanda. Hell, Barb did the same thing, made a plan, consulted with her parents, followed through and got her man. Lynn was intreging, real life character. The best part was the end where Amy came back to find everyone had moved on, making her irelevant. Her ex husband replaced her with an improved newer model, her daughter didn't recognize her and to make it best of all, the new wife was her younger sister and her parents approved! And even better, it wasn't done as revenge, just people moving on with their lives without her. Great story, perfect length, good read.

Amy's Character really needed some huge work on. Not fully develeoped character. Like there are certain things which does not fit in single persoon. First she fell in love with some guy within a MONTH and when she was infroemed about his past and his charater it takes her more than YEAR to believe. She left her husband and her one year daughter to persue her career and takes only one month to decide. But infidelity from her new husban is so hurtful for her she even riun her career which she has acheieved at the cose of her family. After two years she would not even feel a bit about what her husband and her sister are doing. I dont think a person who did not even talk to one willingly, even care about one. I did not understand her all reactions. I mean her all actions are real but unbeleiveable that all are taken by same person. Does not fit actually. And nothing was done to Peter, not because of revenge but he is like rabid dog, and we all know what shoud be done with a rabid dog. Only cruel mother leaves her kid, and cruel person does not talk about love.

According to her first action of telling her husband their were only two way one she would realize after weeks or month, two she would go with her plan. And if she went with her plan she would dump her new husband after some time and find new one, and there was noway she would have any feelings for her daughter.

John was good guy but IF his love was so deep for her, then he should have faught for her before leaving, deepness could estimated when did not want to intimate with Lyn befoe divorece and long after divorce. No one just let go her wife and mother of his one year old daughter so easily. he could have file alienation against Peter, he was teacher and should not be having any sexual realtion with student. There were lot of things couldd have been done. It does not mean forgiving her or hurting her but atleast punishing bastartd for ruing his marriage.

You have the ability to evoke many different emotions from your reader. There are not many who have an ability equal to yours. Thank you for all of your work and for your submissions to this site.

Really nice story. The length was perfect for me considering how developed the characters and storyline was and it was well-written. I do find myself wanting one short followup to this however, something from Amy's point of view to carry on the "Amy finds her muse" title. A story where she's a blooming artist whose paintings are highly desired and deeply touching, but the cost of that was that she paints from her broken heart and lonely soul.

This was a really good read. Balanced and with characters that grew as the story progressed. Nice to see a story with a nice ending to. Keep it up!

Great story. I would hav helped Amy...with a oneway ticket to Iran where women like her get treated the way they shold be treated

and it's minor...I would have sued the university and professor for harassment, alienation of affection, and anything else I could have dreamed up. The university would have paid to keep it from becoming known their professors made it a habit of seducing students.

A great story with a great cast of realistic people. Thanks for the read.

J,

Whoa!! Great writing. Could not leave it. Masterful storytelling.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Boy can you ever write. And a excellent endings just perfect

Of those stories which make you wish there was a rating higher than 5 a truly wonderful story

I could not stop reading it. love it.

I could not stop reading this story. Great Read!!!!!! Thanks!!

And somewhat stupendous !!!!

Did you ever think about an epilogue dealing with Peter, the slime ball?

its long. but i never noticed it until im done reading and looked at the page #. it flows. a 5*

to reach the end. It was a bit drawn out but...I finished it and I don't regret the time spent.

All your stories are good and believable. I have reading as many as posible

Enjoyed the story - you wrote about his pain as if you have experienced it ?

Certainly rang bells for me.....

i have enjoyed reading this story but if my memory is right i have seen this has movie in tamil in 1980's acted rajinkanth

film name engeyo ketta kural

I agree with Hammer, Kanga and a few others. This was one of the best written stories I have found. I love the filled in story and do not mind the length of the story. It takes that length to make a good story in my mind. Some of us want to know what all the characters are going through. I would have enjoyed knowing what Amy was thinking all through this.

I "Am Not" a great fan of short revenge stories because I think them immature and not realistic at all. I would not like your revenge stories at all except for the fact you are one of the best story tellers and writers on this site and your stories are not short.

Like OldWayne said, moving on and living well is the best revenge. To my mind it's the "Only" revenge possible for a mature and good man. You plotted that and I thank you.

That Barbara was patient and worked hard at getting her crush eventually was unusual for a young person, but it was good for the hero and his baby daughter who got her 2nd mommy when she needed one.

I understand that some readers look for quick, harsh, revenge. they want completly fictional stories that please their interests. I read the comment about one of them not caring about how well the story was written because they mostly want to read about the revenge taken.

I guess I myself want a story like this that has heartbreak, romance, and living well as the revenge. Like someone else said, "What goes around comes around." Once again, your abilities as a writer is what draws me to your stories.

thank you for sharing Jake.

Amy lost and should have lost more, as that was possible. A price for her betrayal and duplicity is not a bad thing here. Consequences are a bitch for her and a better life for the others.

she cheated on him and left with the other man. He turn out to be a dirt bag and left her and now she wants to come back....lol. and now she is hurt because he is married. Jake60 hit this one out of the park.

Very good read I did it in one sitting. The ending made me wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see the expression on Amy's face when she found out that life had moved on without her. Quite frankly I was not surprised at her audacity at being angry at him fucking Lynn. It just made the news of the adoption and remarriage that much sweeter. Very well done.

Amy made her bed and deserves nothing yet she walked in to a hard place and is going to get support in spite of the horrible things she did -

It is clear she has not changed much nor learned much to even dream he could just walk back in and have any standing or chances to do what she wanted. Supreme arrogance and self-centered world view - what a shock --- NOT!

I would be curious how you would have followed this up with another installment -

Excellent story. The character development was flawless. The story line was believable, smooth and flowing. One could not help but be drawn into the emotion of the story. It was palpable. The husband in this story was a poster boy for a husband who has been wronged. He rolled with the blow, took care of what mattered above all, that being his daughter, and conducted himself with class. His Sister-in Law was also a great character, showing a maturity far beyond her years.

Again, jake60, an excellent story. This was, without doubt, my favorite offering so far. Congratulations! It's good to see a story where the nice guy comes out ahead in the end without stooping to mindless revenge. Impressive Sir!

what one does find under turned over rocks. TK U MLJ LV NV

The terms of the divorce sounds like the fantasy of man that hates women. Even if Amy was willing give up custody, Peter would have wanted half the assets so Amy wouldn't have agreed to the terms.

And, John and Peter are both Predators. At least Peter didn't go after a child. Very creepy the way John set out to seduce Barbara and it was very close to statutory rape. It was psychological statutory rape. Getting her to move in with him when she is only 16 and sneaking his hand on her thigh when she is 17. It is clear that was John's intention from the beginning, but he knew he had to be careful.

John is an obvious sociopath. Only a sociopath would set out to seperate a mother from her child and make it appear that it to protect the baby. And only a sociopath could pull off the seduction of a child.

DWornock rants about a story she did not have to read spreading hate and vitriol at what she refuses to accept - IT'S FICTION!

I've read this story three times and I've enjoyed it even more with each reading. It isn't simply the story itself that brings about an interest in continued reading, but the way the author built the story. The Words. The Dialogue. Everything works together in a homogeneous way leading to a tantalizing predictability and a surprising conclusion.

It's a new spin on a old yarn.

Great story btw read it several times. DWornock just ignored or doesn't understand it was Amy's decision to leave. She also totally ignored the fact that John was being the adult and kept things with Barbara as friends. It Was John who was wounded by Amy and not some ill conceived notion thought up by DWornock.

John was the primary care giver of Amanda and had to do to PROTECT her sanity from Amy's need to play mommy when it suits her.

Dwornock has the mental range of a third grader, so trying to explain how things work in the world is like telling a crack head that their not hooked. So in the case of DWornock, don't even try.

she calls Dan Quayle for her spell check

Why does that idiot not get the message? My God.. Is this guy (or girl) out of grade three? Sorry Jake...I rant. Good story.

While I agree with many of the comments relating how other readers found the character of Amy to be flat, I think it's because, ultimately, she's not much of one. Her dropping out of the story was an event, a requirement of the plot, and since none of the action or subsequent character development can happen until she's out of the picture, she doesn't really get all that much airtime. In a way, her sudden departure contributes to the jarring sense of unreality that John suddenly feels stuck in at her announcement that she's leaving him.

Now on to the catty comments:

Is there a Cliffs Notes version of this story around somewhere? If so, I think you need to have them pulled. Unless we assume that DWMoronfuck is a complete and utter idiot, we have to assume that whoever posted a summary or outline of your story just didn't get it.

Oh, wait. That's right. DWMoronfuck _is_ a complete and utter idiot.

@huedogg: Please do not compare DWMoronfuck in any way to third-graders. That's an insult to third-graders everywhere. I know more than a few third-graders who have better reading and comprehension skills.

There should be more stories like this in the loving wives category. I'm a big fan of torch the bitch revenge/retribution stories. This one is great because the "revenge" isn't the focus of the story but is just an awesome climax at the end. Great build up to the ex-wife's return without the retribution on her being the focus but its just so satisfying at the end.