All Comments on 'Beauty's Choice Ch. 04-05'

Beauty was real stupid for running with nowhere to go. She has no money, didn't know her name or where she came from. If she would've thought about it a bit longer she would've realized that she did the one thing she was trying not to do. Beauty didn't want to hurt the brothers by choosing one over the other but that is what happened when she took off. Now she got her memory back I wonder if the person she remembered is someone horrible.

Your story's so addictive I had to read ch.6 before coming back to post this comment!

Two small pieces of constructive criticism:

1) A small typo, about three quatrers of the way down page one of ch. 4 - "you're lips" should be "your lips".

2) To me, the brother's language and actions towards an injured woman they've just met would seem too crude and disrespectful for their society, station, and upbringing. It's like they've been consumed by raw lust and all their manners and decency have gone out the window on meeting their mate. I know this is Literotica, but that doesn't mean you have to throw in gratuitous sex before the story's ready. Your writing is good enough to entitle you to make the reader wait!

I'm good at criticising, but couldn't write a story worth reading, so please take this into account when reading the above. You, on the other hand, really can write a story worth reading!

P.S. The other commenter may say Beauty was stupid to run away, but I think her reaction was very realistic. Whilst I think she would have been better advised to seek advice and support from Ramilla, things were moving too fast, she was in a seemingly impossible situation, she hadn't known Ramilla for long, and she was still shaken up from her accident and the resulting amnesia, so couldn't be expected to make the best choice. (But you know all that, since you wrote it!)

AAAHHHH ! I would be saying if I had to wait for the next one .