Dear Mother - Finding Penny

Warren was a strange guy, but a great listener. He put all the facts together, and I think that's what convinced him he had the right Penny. He finally told me what I wanted to know.

"Well, I wasn't sure at first, Ron, but I think I know where you can find your girl," he admitted. He reached in the vest pocket of his shirt and pulled out a business card and handed it to me. I looked at it and my jaw dropped. It was a simple white card with dark green lettering and read:

Penny Lane

Journalist

Chelsea 6 4833

"You had this all along?" I said, not a little pissed-off.

"Well, I thought I might have it. I had to hunt around for it, and found it yesterday," he said a bit nervously.

I thought about it and decided he wasn't playing games with me. I grabbed his hand and shook it rather violently.

"Thanks! This is terrific! I won't forget this!" I must have acted a bit goofy because he was almost laughing.

"Promise me something, Ron. If it is your Penny, I want to hear how all this turns out. It's a hell of a story," he grinned.

"You got it. If she's my Penny, I'll owe you ... and I always pay my debts."

"Good luck. I hope she's the one."

I almost stopped at a phone booth outside on the street to try the number and see if it was her, but something told me to find a quiet place and think about what I wanted to say to her. Why was I calling her after all these years? How did I feel about her? What did I want to know about her life? The answers were obvious to me, but I was uncertain about her reaction to my reappearance. I don't know what I would do if it weren't my Penny.

I decided to head back to the base and call her from my room. I looked at my watch. It was nearing three in the afternoon. If I called sometime around five, I had a decent chance of catching her. Maybe she worked from home. I began to walk and then, caught a bus, then walked some more before hailing a cab, finishing my journey at the base gate.

At ten to five I couldn't wait any longer. I picked up the phone and dialed her number. It rang three times before it was picked up.

"Hello?" It was her voice. I'd know it anywhere. It was my Penny!

"Penny ... it's me ... Ron," I said, trying to contain my nervousness.

"Ron?" There was a pause and then, "Oh my god, Ron! Is it really you? Ron Francis?" She sounded excited and it made me excited too. It sounded like she was glad to hear from me, I thought.

"Yup. Same one you went to school with in Aberdeen."

"Oh Ron, it's been so long. How are you? Where are you?"

"Well, right now, I'm at my room in the Bachelor Officers Quarters at the Governor's Island Coast Guard Station," I answered.

"Here ... here in New York? You're in the Coast Guard?" She seemed completely stunned that it was me. "Can you come here ... I mean ... can we get together?" she asked.

"I was hoping you'd want to. I have the most amazing story to tell you," I said hopefully.

"Oh, I'd love to. When? Tonight? Tomorrow?" She was anxious to see me, that much was evident.

"Whenever you want. I've got a few days leave, and I've been trying to find you since you left me that phone message from the motel in Eugene," I fibbed.

"You have?" She seemed shocked by the idea.

"Well, off and on, to tell the truth. I've been out of touch for part of the time, but I can tell you all about it when we meet," I suggested. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here in New York. I have a studio apartment in SoHo. Why don't you come here? I'm dying to see you." It was all the encouragement I needed.

"I'm guessing it'll take me an hour to get uptown to your place, so why don't we have dinner together? We have lots to talk about," I said.

"That sounds perfect ... as long as you let me make the dinner. I'm not sharing you with anyone tonight." She didn't sound like she was going to take no for an answer. This was a different Penny from our high school days.

"Sold! What's your address?" When I had written it down and we signed off, it was all I could do not to let out a war whoop. I had not only found her, she seemed anxious to see me. What more could I have hoped for?

It took all of an hour to get to her place, and my stomach was in knots as I walked up the stairs to the second floor and looked for her number. I must have stood in front of the door for at least a minute, trying to compose myself before I knocked. She had to have been nearby because the door opened almost immediately, and there she was. We both stood still for a moment, taking in the changes in each other, and then all hell broke loose.

Penny virtually jumped into my arms, half squeezing me to death, tears in her eyes and sniffles in her nose. I have to admit, I had a little water in the eye area as well. When I stepped back after she began to let me loose, I looked at her and I was stunned. She was gorgeous! She was a knockout! Before, she had been pretty. Now ... now, she was beautiful. I just shook my head. I didn't need to say anything. She could tell from my look that I was dazzled.

"God, Ron, it's so good to see you. You look so handsome in your uniform and you seem a lot ... bigger than I remember," she said with a look of wonder.

"I can't get over just how beautiful you are, Penny. I guess we've both changed in the last seven years," I said, smiling.

"Has it been that long? I can't believe it! You have to tell me all about it. You said it was an amazing story, and I'm a writer, so I want to hear all about it," she laughed.

"Well, I don't know if I can. The fellow who helped me find you ... Warren Quincy ... I kind of promised him my life story as a reward," I kidded.

"Oh well, as long as he was the one who put us together again, how can I complain?" She had a look of supreme happiness about her. It really gave me a lift.

"Doesn't mean I won't tell you all about it, though," I suggested. "But first, what was it you wanted to talk to me about when you called from Eugene?" I had to satisfy my curiosity. It had been bugging me for years.

"Oh ... I ... I wanted you to know that I had ... broken up with my boyfriend," she said carefully. "I wanted you to know that I was still very fond of you."

I stood stock still. I'm not sure which instinct took over, but I took a half-step toward her, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. I mean, I kissed her ... seriously! If I was in any doubt about what was going on between us, it vanished in a moment. She returned the kiss and, wrapping her arms around my neck, just kept kissing. It was something we would remember for a long time afterward.

We had been saving up for this moment, never knowing if it would ever come. We had each been longing for the other, but not certain how to complete the circle. We had been standing in the doorway of her room for what seemed an eternity, the door open and our passion on display to any passer-by. Neither of us cared at that moment. Finally we broke, and I pushed the door closed before pulling her into me once more and kissing her more gently, and I hoped, more lovingly.

"Have we been waiting this long and not understanding what we felt for each other?" I asked.

"Yes ... yes we have." The look in her eyes told me everything. We had lost each other and now, we were found, and I got the impression that neither of us was about to let the other escape again. It was the beginning of the best part of my life, and I think I knew that, then and there.

I'm not sure how long it took for us to get to the bedroom, but it really didn't matter. We didn't need to talk about it. Neither of us were virgins, and I don't think we expected the other to be one. But this first time ... this very first time with the girl ... the woman that I had waited so long for ... it was going to be magic. I just knew it. And I was right.

We made love slowly, and it was a very emotional experience for both of us. It was as if I had been released from some prison and found my lover still waiting for me after seven years. I was not just excited, but relieved that she still felt for me the way I felt for her. It was as if nothing had changed in those years except that we had gotten older and more mature, and that Penny was so incredibly beautiful. I wanted this time with her to last forever.

"Ron ... can you stay? Tonight, I mean?"

"Yes. I have almost a week left on my leave. I can't believe my luck ... finding you. We have time to be together, Penny," I promised.

"Yes ... there's no need to rush. We can get to know each other all over again," she smiled.

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do," I whispered.

She nuzzled into my shoulder and neck and we just lay together for a while. Whatever she had planned for dinner must have been forgotten. If I had been hungry, it was for Penny. The food could wait.

"It must be exciting, whizzing around on those big white boats," she said a bit later.

"Uh ... well ... probably, but that's not what I do," I smiled.

"Oh ... what do you do?"

"I fly airplanes," I said proudly.

"What? You're a pilot!" she exclaimed.

"Yup. I fly an airplane called an Albatross. It's a flying boat. It can land on water as well as land."

"Wow ... Ron Francis from Aberdeen, Iowa, is a pilot! That's fantastic!" She sounded almost amazed. "How did that happen? I mean, how did you get to be a pilot ... and in the Coast Guard?"

It took a while to tell the story, but over the next hour, I told her about finding Mom and Frank and what hooked me on flying, and my luck at getting a chance in the Coast Guard. I glossed over the danger, and my occasional mistakes, and made it sound as glamorous as I could. After all, I wanted to impress "My Penny." I deliberately said nothing about Liz.

We had been lying on her bed as my story unfolded, and I could tell she was fascinated. But I was equally interested in her story.

"Dad got a new job in Dubuque, and he and Mom moved just after I started college. I was staying with a friend, Bobbie Jenkins ... you remember her, don't you? She and I were in most of the same classes and I was lucky to have a place to stay. When I graduated, I wanted to find a job on a newspaper, but there was nothing available in Aberdeen or Dubuque. I sent out résumés by the dozen, but nothing happened. Finally, I got a job at State Farm Insurance in the advertising department, and got to write a few magazine blurbs, little stuff like that. At least I was getting paid for writing."

"How did you get to New York?" I was curious. It was a long way from Aberdeen.

"Brian ... the guy I was seeing for a while ... he suggested it. He said I'd have more likelihood of finding something here. He was coming to New York for a job anyway, and it was his way of convincing me to go with him. I thought about it for a while. I didn't really want to be with him ... I mean ... he was a nice guy, but ... he wasn't you," she confessed, looking at me carefully. "Anyway, I decided to go with him just to see if I could get a break. It was probably a mistake, but I was anxious to get an opportunity, so I took a chance."

"What happened to Brian?" I asked.

"He thought I was in love with him. I wasn't. I told him that, and he got really mad. He said I had led him on and was making a fool of him. It was a nasty scene. I grabbed my stuff and got out of there right away. I had a few dollars, so I rented this place, and I've been here ever since." She had told the story with no hint of regret.

"You've been here for three years, then?"

"Yes, three very tough years. There were times when I didn't have a dime or anything to eat. I just had to stick it out to prove I could do it. I couldn't let my folks know I was struggling this much. They never thought much of my desire to become a writer. I think they thought I would become a "starving artist." I didn't dare tell them that they were almost right," she laughed.

"Are you still struggling?"

"Not so much any more," she said with a hint of pride.

"I have a couple of regular columns, and I've been able to sell a few features and that's been a big help. Also, I have a part-time job writing advertising copy for a small agency. All things combined, I'm doing a lot better," she smiled.

"Wow, that sounds like a tough life. I'm amazed you've stuck with it. A lot less dedicated people would have thrown in the towel by now," I suggested.

"Ron ... you know this is what I wanted to do. I had to try. I had to find out if I could. I still think I can. I just need a break, and I can make a career out of this," she said seriously.

"Good for you, Penny. I'm proud of you. I'm so glad I found you. It's all I've been thinking about for the past years. I wanted so much to learn to fly and I got that chance. I was also intent on finding you, and now ... here we are. I don't think I could ask for anything more. When we made love for the very first time tonight, it was something I had dreamed about.

"I feel like that too, Ron. I think we were destined to be with each other. I had almost given up hope of ever seeing you again ... and then ... your call this afternoon ... and now us ... here together. It couldn't be any more wonderful than it is right now. I think we both have this destiny to be together. I think it's written down somewhere that we are supposed to be with each other. Don't you think so?"

"Yes ... yes, I do. To be honest, a couple of times I gave up hope that I'd find you, but the way things have worked out ... yes ... we are supposed to be together. Someone or something is making this happen. I sure don't want to fight it or ignore it, do you?"

"Unh Uh! This is what I have wanted for a long time. There were times when I wasn't sure, but now ... after tonight ... I'm sure. I love you, Ron. I have for a long time and now I know ... now I'm sure. I love you."

"Penny ... Penny ... I love you too. You have been the only thing on my mind ... in my dreams ... for all these years. I can't believe you feel the same way. I am so lucky," I whispered.

"So ... what happens now?" she asked cautiously.

"I don't have a clue," I said seriously. "I'm going to have to find out what I can do about us getting married and where we can live and all that stuff."

"Getting married? Are you serious?" She had sat up quickly and had her hand on my shoulder.

"Yah ... well ... isn't that what a man and a woman do when they are in love?" I asked carefully.

She broke into a big smile and leaned down and kissed me. "Yes ... that's exactly what they do."

I had a hunch that I was missing a step and I stopped to think for a minute. Then it dawned on me.

"Penny ... I love you with all my heart. I have for a long, long time. Will you marry me?"

She smiled and I could see tears forming in the corners of her lovely blue eyes. "Yes. Yes, I will. Yes, I will marry you, Ron Francis," she beamed.

"I'm sorry I don't have a ring yet, but then, I guess since we've only been back together for a couple of hours, I can be forgiven?" I asked, hopefully.

"Of course you can. But only for a little while. In the meantime, why don't we make it official," she smiled.

"And how would you suggest we do that?" I kidded.

"Like this, my love." She slid her hand down to my manhood and began a most erotic massage that took only seconds to arouse me to full operating potential. I didn't need to be hit over the head to figure out what should happen next. As I slipped into her, I thought that perhaps this was the best day of my life, so far. What could be better than finding your true love, and then making love to her? Nothing! But then, that's what I thought the day I got my wings.

When I awoke the next morning, I was conscious of the woman in bed with me. Her scent and her soft skin and the now-tousled hair were another aphrodisiac. I was already aroused and my hand reached for her breast as I pulled myself into her back, holding her closely to me. These past few hours had been my private paradise. I had everything I needed for the rest of my life. What could I possibly want more than this? The answer would come sooner than I thought.

The next week went by in a blur. We hunted the city for just the right ring and finally found it. Penny was just as frugal with this purchase as she was with everything in her current life. I was grateful and I told her so. I had saved a fair amount of my pay, but getting married would be a big step and I wanted to make sure we could survive financially. As we talked about these problems, I was happy that Penny always found a reasonable solution. It took a big weight off my shoulders that she was so practical and clear-headed. It was just another reason I was in love with her.

Eventually, my leave was up and I had to return to the base. She knew I wouldn't be far away and that I would have time to see her fairly often, but not being able to be with her, sleep with her, hold her in those beautiful waking hours, was my own personal torture. We had become so dependent upon each other. It felt like I was leaving her for another world. It was a prophetic thought.

When I arrived back on duty, I was summoned, along with two other "Goat" pilots to the C.O.'s office that first morning. It was there that I got a very quick lesson in reality. We were being reassigned ... to Da Nang Airbase in South Vietnam. My guts churned when I heard those words. It seemed like a death sentence. The last place on this planet I wanted to be was Vietnam.

Penny took the news very hard. She cried and I cried and we both held each other for every minute we were together. I think it was the first time in my life that I seriously thought about death. I was going to war. I was going to fly a slow airplane with no armament in a hostile environment. I had to admit, I was scared. I'd heard all the horror stories from other servicemen, and they didn't inspire confidence.

Da Nang was a hotbed of activity. The Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, privately contracted civilian aircraft and god knows what else were all using the base and the air traffic control was constantly on full operations. I was lucky that I had experience with high traffic areas like New York, so it wasn't as big a challenge for me as it might have been. One thing was certain, however, you were concentrating every minute you were in the air.

Our mission was Combat Rescue and Recovery. It meant flying out over the South China Sea, looking for downed pilots. I thought Miami was bad -- it was a walk in the park compared to Da Nang. I think the thing that got to me first, and lasted for my entire tour, was the lousy morale. None of us really wanted to be there, we just had to suck it up and do our jobs. Oh sure, there were a few guys who were making out like bandits with their own private operations, but for the rest of us, it was our own special hell.

The only consolation was the few times we were actually able to save some of the pilots before the sharks got to them, they died of exposure, or just drowned. It didn't happen often enough to make me feel good, but the ones we saved ... well, they were grateful as hell. You didn't have to be there very long to figure out this was an un-winnable war. For all our horsepower and strategic weaponry, we couldn't beat a guerilla army that didn't count its losses.

I wrote to Penny every second day, unless I was tied up on a mission. This time, there was no letting up on our correspondence. Early on, I made a big decision. If I was going to marry "My Penny," I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. I took a chance, and about a month after I arrived in Vietnam, I told Penny about Liz. I didn't try to fool Penny into thinking Liz wasn't someone important. I told her what had happened and how it ended when she went back to Canada, and that it was her phone call that reminded me of just how important she really was. I had been infatuated with Liz, but I was in love with Penny.