All Comments on 'Fifth Place'

You are the best.

If you are reading my comment before reading the story go NOW and read this story.

We have a LW tale, a romance and...

wait for it ... wait for it...

Probally the best damn counciler i have read in Lit YET AND some of the best legal/moral actions I have ever read.

What Lit placed as page 5 is proablly the single best page in Literotica I have ever read.

The bar has been raised..and raised high RP.

By all that is Holy and the Gods of my forefathers, THANK YOU!

We have a winner! RP, I always enjoy your stories, and this may have been your best.

What makes it the best is not just the plot line and the way that your character development was interwoven with the plot, but the fact that you are not afraid to employ the appropriate phrases and words - - language which may be above the abilities of some readers to really understand and appreciate. The editing was superb. Overall, I was impressed by every aspect of the story.

Thanks so much for contributing this tale.

Lots of good stuff in this story. Happy endings for the husband and some stuff I really agree with regarding his desire for revenge and how Betty's contempt grew even if it didnt start out that way. I liked that he didnt let the tremendous amount of pain he must have felt ruin his life by making him bitter and going after revenge that would have hurt the kids in its fallout.

About the only thing that seemed a little off for me was that Betty seemed to turn her attitude around pretty fast. You did imply it was process with her therapist over time but that seemed like mostly accepting the consequences and growing up. Her realization of what type of person she had been, how disgustingly she behaved and what she ended up losing, seemed to come almost instantaneously. It was almost epiphany like happening in the middle of a conversation in which she started out berating the husband for being such a pathetic cuckold.

Her quick turnaround wasnt really jaring and it did work in a fictional sense (i.e. nice to see she realized what she lost and what was really important - a form of revenge without lowering the husband and making him less likable) but it struck me as slightly too much to hope for. IRL, people dont usually recognize their own faults so quickly. They usually have to be dragged kicking and screaming towards the light especially if it forces them to see bad things about themselves. That it happened for Betty so quickly was just on the boarder of artistic license to get a happy ending in a fictional story, and being so quick it took me out of the story and made me thing 'that would never happen'.

Anyway, my small quibble with Betty's realizations didnt take anything big away from the story for me. I still thought it was very good - I really like romantic happy endings. Thanks for writing.

Thanks for just a marvelous piece of work. It is engrossing, detailed, convincing, and very moving. The range of emotions that you take the reader through is remarkable.

In every way, a complete success. Congratulations and thanks for writing this!

ohio

i knew from the start that the 'wife' have probably cheated. i would rather have that fact out earlier in the story. nicely written but the plot seems flawed to me.

he wants a mistress and more kids, yet he barely have time w/ his first 3. he is unhappy w/ his life, well, he ought to do domething about it. why not take the time to mend his relationship w/ his wife, if not, then divorce her first, then get on w/ his life. but no he spends his time plotting and interviewing women 'candidates' that could be his 2nd wife.

frankly, he is as much to blame as his wife to the mess he was in.

if i have to place this against Ohio's and S-Des, i would place it 3rd.

again, nicely written but flawed plot.

Read the logic written by "still wrong." I completely agree. Flawed plot.

harry, nancy, and justin are not his kids biologically; no problem with that, if he didn't find out about them until Betty confronted him and Karen outside Karen's place.

but he did find out, if i remember correctly, shorlty after Harry was born (after which, he said, Betty started cheating him badly: e.g., you are one stupid cuckhold SOB and you don't even know it, etc.)

as the "still wrong" commentator said, for him not to do any thing at all, but to take the attitude of "well, so what, Harry is already "done", so if a Nancy, a Justine, a Paula, a John, a Claire, et al. come along, it makes no difference."

i found attitude to be strange. again, ONLY because he knew shortly after Harry --- especially during her "fertile cycles" of the month when he knew she was going to fuck around again to get pregnant --- what Betty was doing; and he decided to let the fiasco drag on for many more years, enough years for Betty to give birth to 2 more kids.

all what's he been doing all those years? presumably he's been talking to his woman friend and "interviewing" for candidates to WAIT ON THE SIDE, patiently, for him to get a divorce.

"my kids (he might have used "Betty's children" rather than "my kids", according to Karen in rendition, but I thought he used "my kids" when he first spoke to Karen that first night their were dancing cheek to cheek!) are only a fews old and I can't divorce until there are grown," he said!

THANK GOD BAD-ASSED BETTY had been doing her own "intelligence" work, using different cars following him and had confronted him so unceremoniously untimely shortly after Karen got pregnant!; otherwise, he was gonna wait until Harry, Nancy, and Justin are grown to divorce their slutty mother Betty (who's now a deeply thinking woman! lol)

RPSUCH is one of the top writers here, no doubt about it. but the MERCHANT OF VENICE rendition --- to show how that BOTH Randy and Karen are well read (Karen who's so smart, the only obsticle to her getting full professorship was some idiot name Harry Cartwright? who's having affairs with young women at his domain?! lol --- was contrite, unncessary, and cheap.

in fact, in "real life" someone as accomplished as Karen would likely not agreed to meet with Randy in the first place; and if they did, they'd laught him off, when he so PATERNALISTICALLY told them,

"Trust me. Me and my wife, we have no future; I'm merely there to provide paternity stability for the three young children, whom I won't abandone until they've become majority. But I like to start having children with you, or whoever I think can love me. Just trust me now and I will tell you the full details later, after we're married or after those young children become 18. But I don't wanna wait that long --- as I'll be too old --- to have more kids again. I wanna start now, if I find the right woman for having my kids."

I'm exaggerating there; but only to focus on the silliness of the dialogue,,, no, the MONOLOGUE.

again, a truly intelligent young woman would say something like,

"Thank you for a nice dinner, err, Randy. I wish you good luck finding that woman who's gonna sit tight by your side, trust you with her heart, and started having kids with you, waiting for the day you'd tell her what's really going on in your mind about your socalled marriage and socalled young children. Reall, Randy, you sounded like an intelligent, hard-working, well read man. I can see what you're thinking in your head; all those conflicting thoughts,,, But, guess what?, I got a bus to catch in 3 minutes...."

but he did admit it later in the story so it wasnt a flawed plot imo. It was a story about a guy making a flawed/weird decision. Later in the story he admitted that his plan never would have worked so it didnt seem like the author was trying to run with a flawed concept, just that he was writing a story about a guy who tried to fly something that never would/could.

As for Karen, her reaction to his proposal was sort of odd but you have to take it in the context that she was starved for affection. She admitted that she never had any meaningful relationships so who knows what she would be willing to accept now? If she really wanted kids and didnt see any prospect of having them any other way, maybe she just wanted babies and didnt expect to wait for 15 years while the other children grew up. She was a sociologist (or whatever) so maybe she knew it would never work and that they would likely end up together far sooner than the 15 years he was planning on. Last but not least, it is fiction. Not everything has to make perfect sense in fiction. Im a stickler for detail but even I can allow some leeway that lets an author use not totally realistic devices in order to further the plot or make a point.

Yes, his decision and attempted course of action was odd but I dont think it was a flawed plot. I think it was exactly what the author intended to do in order to make his story and not a simple case of an author overlooking something or trying to pound square pegs in round holes.

He couldnt hide it from the wife who he didnt think cared at all what he even though he had specific training in this regard (undercover with FBI). His relationship with Karen also kept deepening until they couldnt resist the little touches and shows of affection that he had planned on doing without until divorced.

Both these things are far to pointed to be accidents imo. I disagree that the premise was flawed since it seemed to fit too well with what the author intended for later in the story. I could be wrong but it all seems too neat, tidy and tight to be unintentional.

anyone who places this stOry BEHIND Ohio's turd of a story about ANOTHERR Super wimp

is a total Imbecile

There are not words to describe HOW much I lovced this work. The point about WHY hubby let the wife cheat and create bastard kids is a BIG deal .... but perhaps he did NOT know that the radaition sickness that killed his sperms was ONLY temporary?

Perhaps at the time he thought it was Permanent? or perhaps he HOPED the sperm level / count might rise back to hwere it was SOME day...

some FABOULOUS dialogue here... stuff I have never come across here... its as good as SPENSER mystery novel

from BETTY.... Please make sure someome tells this to OHIO king of the super wimps hubbys

If you still loved me deeply after all the shit I piled on you, I'd probably have no respect for you. Even if I showed complete contrition, you'd, I don't know, either have to feel you deserved to be treated badly or were completely unlovable except by me, or for some other pathological reason needed to be with me. It would be sick..."

wow....

of this which is CLASSSIC perfect MAN/ hubby speak

Rarely have I ever read anything that conveys what GUYS think and what to GUYS is ROMANTIC

"Of course not. Who would get married with that expectation? Well, I guess lots of people would, but not me. What am I looking for? Backup. Like my partner in the Bureau. I want to know that whatever happens to me, it's easier, less dangerous, more manageable, because my partner's got my back. I want to have the confidence that when she's got to figure out what to do in a situation, she's thinking about how it will affect me as much as how it will affect her. And not just thinking about it; that it's important to her. That's what I want more than anything."

OR this from the cooking dinner scene...

Let me give you an example. That dinner we had the night we met: it was a very nice meal in a nice restaurant. We had the excitement of just having met, the anticipation of everything that could happen as a result. It was very nice. If we had the same meal right now, with the way I feel about you, it would be a completely different experience. I'd be looking forward to going dancing and being held by you in a way that doesn't just say I'm the leader, follow me, but with a connection that's emotionally charged. Or I might be looking forward to coming back here and making love with you or even just holding hands and talking about things important to us. That dinner would be a much more robust experience."

But now I plan to read all the rest. Excellent!

A cheating wife with consequences story is created by one or both spouses acting insanely. Not the adultery. Sadly adultery is too often a part of life. No, there's always some insane plot.

'Oh, well I heard my hairdressser said that a guy in his bowling league named Al said he would never accept an adopted child and since my husband Randal bowls and Randal has an -Al in it, he must have been talking about my sweet Pookie. Also since we haven't gotten pregnant and we've been trying for 11 days, well, he must be sterile. I think he mentioned being ill as a child and I'm sure the diesease started with an M and mumps starts with an M and can cause sterility, so it's obvious. Though I dearly love my husband I must force myself to have sex with as many men as possible who bare a passing resemblance to him. I'm sure nothing horrible will ever happen as the result of a bloodtest. No, and since I could never chance them telling about my indiscretion I better keep having sex with them. Maybe in groups and probably I should let them take movies of them -- just for their private collections of course. No, I love my husband to death but I could never actually talk to him about it -- or about the fact that the spaghetti sauce he loves so much comes from a jar. It would just kill him and I love him too much to do that to him.'

If I seem like I'm coming down on this particular story, I apologize. This is a general observation.

In regard to this particular story it's a little long, not bad though. But there's something about it. It seems a little... hmm... packaged.

Let's all talk about the problems we have, let's have some sudden reversals. Let's have the wife be punished, but still offer her a shot at salvation. Let's have a cheating wife story that shows the consequence of cheating on the children's lives, but have them all end up happy in the end. Mommy two? And let's not have one psychoanalyst let's have two because it's true that all true enlightenment comes in a marriage counselor's office.

Extremely well written and well crafted. An intellectually challenging tale, replete with moral dilemmas, only some of them answered. As much as I enjoyed the story, I did feel at times overwhelmed with the verbage and the almost tortured path to a final and "fulfilling" conclusion.

In any event, this was certainly an enjoyable read and I applaud the obvious talent of the author. He has certainly raised the bar in this genre on this site.

rpsuch makes us wait far too long between stories. The richness of the plotlines, the depth of charactarization always exceed almost every other writer on Literotica. Fifth Place is another fine example of his work: literate, fulfilling, ambiguous, thought provoking.

Who could ask for more?

This must have been done by the Count of Monte Philadelphia. This guy is so smart I have to have my dictionary with me when I read his work. He's more precise than a brain surgeon. Small wonder he's the Don of the Pa Mafia. There will be a combined effort by Blue, Ohio, and Cloacas to translate this story into regular English. The abridged version will be out in a few years. Thanks, RP, for the story, the humor, and the message.

Author thanks for an excellent story; and a very interesting and off-the-beaten-track story.

Story disscussion:

If I read the story correctly, he suspected something was going on, but by the time he found concrete evidence about her getting pregnant by others, she was already pregnant with Nancy. Randy decided to stay in the marriage at that point because of Harry, as he had already bonded with him. At that point Randy may of even still loved Betty.

He then told Betty, he wanted no more children, thus hopefully ending her betrayal of him in the future. Unfortunately, she decided she had to have one more child. That is probably what finally ended his love for Betty. And he then decided on his "wierd and somewhat flawed plan" for a future family. At least that is how I followed it.

I definitely liked how it played out. I especilly liked that Betty learned the hard way what she gave up by her actions and that she showed real remorse. If only she had talked to Randy back then instead doing what she did, but then we would have had no story.

I do have a question though on her cheating. Was she only unfaithful to her husband when she wanted to get pregnant? Was that the only timeframes she cheated on him? To me that was never really spelled-out too well, so I was unsure of her extent of cheating.

However, even if that were the only times she cheated, she had already driven her husband away with her change attitude toward him. I liked how the author showed this item to be one of the reasons why Randy's love died for Betty.

Again good story.

Except for your groupies salavating over this posting, the fact remains you could have done this in 2 pages and not 7. Lit has grown now to writers who either write stroke crap or pontificate pages to show they can do it.

I am pleased you have a few groupies who think you wonderful, but for the majority your style is Oprah on the sofa telling some Jerry Springer twisted tale. If you can write better you should, but you should get an editor who will inspire you to not think trailer trash stories are A Tale of Two Cities.

One of the previous comments has a grain of truth in it. The story line ran out about halfway through this text. RP, with respect, you spent too much time talking about the story instead of telling the story. I know you'll recognize the difference.

You use words beautifully, but the dialogue itself is stilted. The "stiff upper lip" style goes well in 1930-era crime thrillers, but it doesn't play well today. Remember too, a story has a rhythm to it--a series of high peaks of action and excitement. This story was flat lined all the way through. No one got seriously mad; no one was incredibly sad, or wonderfully happy. To the extent anyone experienced any emotion, you *told* us about the emotion instead of the characters showing it happen with their words and action.

RP, you’re much better than this. Please come back with a real story.

Excellent, truly excellent. Perhaps the best, most literate of all the stories I've read in "Literotica." Only one or two grammatical errors!! Once in a while I felt that the connections between stages of the story were a bit jumpy. So glad you did not try to juice it up with stupid depictions of sexual activity. Please continue. --Katib .

What an absolutely enjoyable, heart-warming and ADULT story. You had me from the opening paragraph. By the time, you mentioned the Rose Tattoo (one of my favorite restaurants); I knew I would absolutely love this story.

Your command of the language was superb. Of special note was the dialog of the seduction between Randy and Karen, it was as perfect as I have ever read in ANY story. Your description of the importance of dancing almost brought tears to my eyes. The entire story was perfectly choreographed.

You have set a new standard. As a junior member of the PA Mafia, I give you my most enthusiastic applause. Bravo!

This may be your best story yet though I still enjoy several of your shorter stories equally well. Boy, your hero sure loves to talk but I guess that only natural for a lawyer and lover of Shakespeare.

Best regards, Boyd

There are two stories here. There is the romance of the 'affair' that is more than an affair. That opening tale is told almost as poetry. The flow and the language used have a lyrical quality.

The second story is the reality of what be done when all parties realize the existence of one another. This second story is the children's story. That part is told in sharp focus with plain and uncompromising language.

One the whole, this is the best story I have read on this site.

Your writing keeps on getting better and better. The story you told was excellent there was some predictability with it such as her cheating. But there were several surprising twists. It takes a special person to be able to work out there problems and but the children first especially when they are not his. That he also kept a very good relationship with his ex-wife tells how much concern he had for her even after what she did. I find that the premise of how he goes looking for a new spouse very original.

Please keep up the great writing and hopefully come out with stories just as good but hopefully a little more often, but do not sacrifice quality for speed.

I never even finished the first page. Not only does a story need rhythm, so does the writing. If this is another example of editing by Kanga40 then she needs to study her own comments more carefully or consider the old adage "People in glasshouses should not throw stones."

what a overly written load of crap - yep, that pretty much sums it up. Nothing -the plot, the characters - was even close to beleivable.

it works on many levels.

Is it perfect? Has the perfect story been written? Will it ever be?

I notice someone below has made the ASSumption I had something to do with this story.

Strange that, considering he didn't finish the first page. How then could he know who was credited with editing it?

I saw no credit to me. Am I the only Denise in the world?

Poor silly bugger, if you have some bone to pick with me, you have my email address - it's on every post I make - I don't snivel like some spineless, impotent wimp behind the cloak of anonymity.

Why mark down a story just because you imagine I had some hand in it?

That only shows your intelligence and character for exactly what they are.

Excellent loving wives story I have to say your story deserves no other critique but to say wonderfully complex, a sensuous and humorous read to the mind, and an intoxicating romance. I believe AverageJoe made some very valid points.

I just want to add I found your sharing your insight of relationships as so authorative, with the ability for others to understand those intricacies. I wish I had your formulation of words to make ideas clear.

You have touched on one aspect of peoples thought process that gets so little mention in stories people portray here.

EXCERPT: I was selfish and immature. Even before any trouble started, we were in trouble. I loved you, in my way. But I saw our marriage as my marriage. I saw how I could get everything I had always wanted in life. I didn't stop to think what you would get out of it.

We do forget to look at what we think of marriage or relationships when we say our partnership. Are we really looking at just our own view without ever asking the partner what their view of the partnership is? I believe most people normally take for granted that both see the partnership equally. Our perceptions need to be challenged once in awhile.

So very superbly done and appreciated. I don’t see where you could have shortened it and still have a great story.

PT

enjoyable read as well as some very good points for those in similiar circumstances such as divorce to think about...its always the children who should come first no matter who is hurt or how much hate there is...the hurt will disapate as well as some of the dislike a childs heart never forgets the pains of childhood...thank you for another wonderful story. respectfully fan in Texas naynay

I can't begin to give you a critique, and I don't feel qualified to even make suggestions. It was obvious right from the start, that you are a writer. There are dfozens of instances that show the author's intelligence and broad experience. This may be the best story in this category.

Please forgive me but I must contrast your excellent work with recent stories (Fool's Envy by S-DES and An Innocent Question by Ohio) to highlight one truth depicted in this story.

In Fool's Envy, one of the most powerful part of the story was how Steve (the husband) made his decision. He still loved Terry (the wife) but he could not trust her. Terry wanted to control and change her husband to be in line with her desires to have other partners outside the marriage. Her actions reflected a basic disrespect for Steve.

In One Innocent Question, Ohio did a great job in describing one couple climb from the abyss of divorce and martial hell. Dan and Ellen (the husband and wife) clearly loved each other so I can see a real couple getting back together. Basically, the wife had a sexual obsession with a younger man resulting in a mindblowing sex session. My comments highlighted several problems with the story but they are center around respect for the husband. The burden for moving on with their lives was placed with the husband so he goes to therapy. The reconciliation was credible because the husband's character as written lived for his marriage. Once he was assured by his wife that the affair would not continue the bulk of the story dealt with him coming to terms with her betrayal.

Once again I have no problem with reconciliation as long as it is credible. In your story Betty had such comtempt for Randy that reconciliation was impossible. Just because she beileved that he could not give her children she goes off to be bred by other men. Even though Randy did not know about her infidelity she knew about it and her disrespect turned into contempt and then hate. This is the truth applicable to the other stories. If the husband in Fool's Envy had taken Terry back he would have the problem of her lack of respect for him. In Ohio's story the husband has to live with his wife's disrespect to him and hope that she will not stray again (next time she will not confess her cheating because he would probably kill himself).

I have to agree that Betty's turnaround to become a human being seemed too fast absence a life changing event. Usually when a person realize how they screwed up their life they usually seek to blame someone else. But this device is a small thing comparable to the depth and scope of the rich and complex human drama you composed for us.

Bottom Line: Outstanding Story!

SleeplessinMD

I read the first couple of paragraphs and decided to pass on the story at first. But I did my usually "read" the user comments and I saw that Harry gave it such high ratings that it raised my curiosity enough to actually read it.

And now I'm glad I did. It was good.

I disagree with the Anon's poster below characterization of Ohio's story and S-Des. I didn't really like Ohio's story because, well I'm sorry the wife didn't really do anything to redeem herself, was really selfish putting what she wanted all the way till the end of the story, and I personally felt that only the folks that liked the story "projected" and only saw what they wanted to read into the wive's character, because nothing I read justified a reconcilation between the two of them, other than because we were told so I mean.

In S-Des story, that one I liked because, like with Ohio's husband's character, the husband was someone to admired. But I could see the problem and logic he was working with in the story, that while he was trying to be the better person, the betrayal was too much to get past. Because of the logic and layout I could understand why he had the problem he did.

Your story reminds me of S-Des story and what I liked about it. The husband was willing to do what it took to raise the kids as his even though his wife was getting pregnant by another man and trying to pass them off has his, but at the same time he decided that he shouldn't have to give up what he really wanted in life just to take a back seat to his wife's selfishness. The husband was willing to do whatever it took to make sure the kids didn't suffer, but still while trying to get something out of life for himself. I gotta say, that was a new twist on an old theme.

Most of the time the stories like these are usually along the lines of "Suck it up and live with it" or "Ignore what you wanted out of life because the kids, even if they aren't yours, come first regardless of how badly you've been treated by your mate". This was a different twist where he was still putting the kids first, but thought of a plan to try and get something for himself as well. Nice twist.

Gotta tell you, I'm throughly impress that an author found a new way to tell an old story and not leave me feeling that the husband got the shaft, and all while somehow the reconcialtion at all cost crowd didn't break their own arms trying to suggest he somehow deserved it. (^_^)

-Risq

This truely is one of the best written and developed stories on this site I have read. Cudos to the author.

However, I have to admit that I never bought into the basic premise of the story. As a matter of fact, I stopped reading the story after the first page. It was only because of the quality of the author's previous work, that I went back and read the entire story; and I'm glad I did.

A truly original storyline in a genre full of repetetive writings. This was a pleasure from start to finish. Thank you.

I really liked the story. There are lots of things that the author might have done but it was his unique creation and we take what we get.

Was Randy wrong in seeking a lover before he divorced his wife? Probably, but was there some justification? Probably.

Should he have confronted her? Yes, but as someone said, the damage was already done and he loved his children.

Would I have resisted the need for stronger revenge? Probably not, but RP did it well. The men were made to pay and it was clear that Betty paid everytime she saw how happy Randy was with Karen. I guess no revenge was indeed pretty strong revenge after all.

I congratulate you on a wonderful story.

Your efforts are greatly appreciated.

Charleybear

This story deserves better than 5/5 or 100/100. A fantastic journey, some detours but overall sensational! I only wish your speed of production was faster but with such quality I can't complain.

NM

When you are glad you read a story when you finish it,thats all you can ask.Thank you for writing it.

I love it. What more can or should be said.

a great story! thank you.

Agree with most other commentaries. This rates a 150 among any category of stories! Superbly crafted entertainment... Of truth the greatest revenge possible is a life well-lived.

I know I've read this story at least twice before, and I can't believe I haven't commented on it before now. I think I know why I haven't. It's because I lack the words to describe how good it is. In one swell foop, rpsuch managed to tell an engrossing tale of a mature, delightful romance embedded in a complex story of a marriage gone horribly wrong while at the same time creating characters that we grow to like despite their foibles and follies.

<P>

One thing is certain: there's a problem with the Literotica rating scheme. I keep looking for the rating button labeled "1000" but can't seem to find it. :) And, gee whiz, a five just isn't expressive enough of how good this storytelling is. Rich scenes, handpainted by the author's excellent prose, captivate our attention, showing these interesting people and how they struggle up out of the morass in which they find themselves. The narrative drive is almost too good because it makes you want to skip ahead, only that would be wrong because you'd miss some of the story.

<P>

Excellent fiction this is. No, that's a lie. It's way better than excellent. This 100's for you, rpsuch, for a story extremely well told. I thank you for sharing it with us.

Dude! You've shot to the top of my favorite authors list with this one! I loved it! Great work.

This story has it all. Well-written, good plot, witty dialog, unexpected twists, drama, and realism. No wimp in this story! Some might wonder why Betty (who should have been as smart as Randy) would pull something like getting pregnant with a "live sperm donor" rather than discussing the situation with her husband? There were more acceptable choices such as anonymous donor insemination, test-tube fertilization with the husband's sperm injected into her eggs, or even adoption. Getting pregnant via another man as the "live donor" is understandably something so awful that a truly "loving wife" would not do this to her spouse unless she disrespected him as noted in the story. Maybe it's sexist but no more so than women saying "He thinks with the little head rather than the big one" implying men let their penises do their thinking. My thought (sexist) is that there are certainly women who think with their ovaries when they have an overwhelming desire to get pregnant. My urologist friend who does vasectomy reversals once got a letter from a patient's wife stating she was canceling her husband's surgery because she was pregnant and the reversal was no longer needed. She read in a book that it was possible for a man's "tubes" to grow back together and she prayed and "God made it happen!" Either the husband figured it out but kept quiet, or he remained clueless and believed God really took care of the problem as his wife claimed. They had several other children before he had his vasectomy; he was getting the reversal because his wife changed her mind and wanted more children. Perhaps both the milkman and the plumber were named "God" when she said something like, "Oh God, I'm coming." Whatever.

What more is there to say, except..<BR>

Why didn't I comment on this before?

The story was so sweet and so good. The only change I would make is have Randy knock up Betty at the same time as Karen. Randy still performed his acting duties and Betty thinking she could not get pregnant, had unprotected sex. This added child would make Betty realize all the more the error of her ways...by raising one more child without a full time husband....and how much her ex-husband truly loved the other three. He would have "twins" the first time around by two different women.

Wonderful story, great read. I loved the prose, please keep

writing.

... to dive into your story. Parallel I must always use an open dictionary-site. I must read any phrases two times until I would understand. The more I read the more I understand. I like your story and agree with other commentators that it is probably one of the best Literoticastories. Thank you for good entertainment and keep on writing.

<p><b>Nucleus</b></p>

Without that background it would still be a great and wonderful story, but the insights and phrasing are perfection. Thank you. I would rate it higher but it's not allowed.

...and a compelling read.

Rarely, if ever, has any story risen to these heights.

I loved it.Thank you.

Absolutely riveting. I only had a minute to read…30 minutes later, and I never re-read sentences. So good, I read them again.

Great writing.

DD

This appears to be a competently written story, in a technical sense, but I expected more, considering it is high on the list of "loving wife" stories. I have no idea what some people seem to enjoy about this. This is just a boring story with no emotional or erotic content. Whatever.

I read this when it first came out and then came back today and read it again. Reads just as well the second time, if not better. In termis of plot: very creative solution to a significant problem; very romantic story. Writing is very well paced. Good work RPS!

I married my second wife when I was 55 and now fifteen years later I have two kiddos in elementary school. Get real life begins when you begin it. The only real obstacle to kids is women's biological clocks. Men can it at least some cases still be having kids into their 80s. Love is where you find it and being in love and loving someone are very different things.

And very dark.

Your illumination on complicated subjects is admirable, though your approach feels heavy-handed in the first half (not offensively so; just that a more subtle and intricate approach could transform this type of writing into perfection). Also, your reasoning is sound (and it is true in most situations) about erotica/romance not being just physical acts--bumping uglies--but about the journey; yet, you overcompensate (at least in this story) by marginalizing much of the process, and that seriously hurts your storytelling. For example, review the first time they actually have sex: it takes less than three sentences and lends empathy to exactly no one (IMO, if you don't give an experience, then you aren't doing your job as a storyteller). There's almost certainly a happy median you're missing, especially for the important spots that could add meaning, such as first times. All in all, your tale was unexpected and welcomed; thanks for the depth and food for thought.

I love this story, have reread it numerous times. It is one of my all-time favorites.

I've been rereading comments and thought I could inject some understanding about why I may have seemed heavy-handed early in the story and why it couldn't be short.

I had only one goal when I started the story. I wanted to see if I could present a character who wasn't particularly likable and rehabilitate him. That precluded a one-page story. His plan was crazy. Was it realistic? It depends on how you see realistic. My standard is the answer to could it happen. If the answer is, "Yeah, I guess it could, possibly," then it's realistic. Unfortunately, under that standard almost everything is realistic. I heard a report of a local case where the police found a woman shot twice in the head with the gun missing and called it a suicide. Could it happen? No. But it did. (A fisherman later hooked the gun and the police followed up effectively)

The story also got longer because it needed to. The challenge I set for myself was simple, but I couldn't stop without telling the story to a point of resolution.

The comments got me thinking and I'll probably discuss it at length on my website when I get the time.

I just thought that was an interesting coincidence...

http://www.literotica.com/top/Loving-Wives-12/

Okay maybe I am a little over the top here. Anyway, this is one of my favs. It's as thorough a story as I've read here - truly excellent. I think what I like best is that the characters and their characterizations are all so fully developed. Really well done.

It was great before. I enjoyed it even more this time. Nobody writes as well as you.

Going from a steel hearted cheating bitch to a sorrowful cooperative partner in the dissolution of her marriage was just too much.

I think it could have worked had you stretched out the time frame a few months, up to maybe three years. But in ONE confrontational conversation. Sorry.

The conflict from her betrayal and his moving on was very nice till you ruined it with the quick conversion of Betty from bitch to sweetheart.

It doesn't deserve the accolade deigned by some readers.

This is just average to low level effort. Deserved and get 2 stars.

I'm going through the all time list under loving wives and can't see how this story isn't in the top 25! I agree with another comment that the turn around in Betty happened a bit quick but other then that this was one of the most well constructed stories I've ever read. The plot flowed with very few of the outlandish errors many authors make. I can't possibly describe how well the dialogue between these two intelligent people was crafted. Bravo! I'll be reading all your work and hope your still producing such great stories!

Didn't deserve more than a 2 star rating, and that was pushing it some.

I liked it. Everything worked out well with the characters, and whats wrong with that? Your protaganist moved on and had his own biological children as well as those he helped daddy.

I can see why some of the less educated readers would be frustrated. I am not all that educated, but do have college level reading skills and have done many hundreds of crossword puzzles. So...I did follow you most of the time.

I have to agree you do well with your dialogue with your highly intelligent characters. That is what makes your stories so different from others.

If the nerd in your continuing long story gets any smarter we will need him and Ashley to solve all the problems in the World, especially here in America. Especially with Ashley's growing ability to convince people to see things better and more realistically. No ignorant rednecks in your stories! The closest was Betty in the two. Even Harry was impressed!

This is a very well crafted story. I like the intellectual dialogue, the interplay between the characters, the well thought out revenge on the sperm donors, etc. I really liked the insight into the roll of dancing in developing romantic relationships. I also liked the insight when Karen attempted to withdraw to figure things out. Kudos and well done rpsuch. Keep writing!

...but at times it was a bit of a tear-jerker...

Really enjoyable,so Thank You.

...any chance of more like this ?? Please ??

An excellent execution of a well designed plot and storyline -

I was not (as I have been by some "emotion filled" stories) as impacted by the sections of this story that are the tear jerker parts. I am not sure why not though they were as intense and the impact was deep - I think I fell into his character and read with a more stoic approach that seemed heh righter here.

Karen is a miraculous find!

This story, like so many others, makes it much easier for the hero to live well because he can afford it - most of us can't - ah well.

I don't know what comment or comments to make about this story other than it is unlike any I have read. I suppose the closest would be the movie "The Remarkable Mr. Pennypacker."

Mmmmmmm different (not in a good way )

It was an excellent story, about a willing cuckold. You couldn't call him anything else. He knew the kids weren't his and stayed to raise them anyway. He knew she was fucking another man and said nothing. So what else would you call a man that does that, a willing cuckold. He might have not be a true one but he is one and lived with all the lies and mistreatment by his wife. She thought he was a loser and he was. Why would anyone that calls himself a man stay and raise another man's children when he could have left and had his own. Love for the kids doesn't mean be a door mat. 4*

You tell us tales od entrepreneurs, self-made billionairs, near-James Bond spies. When in the end it comes out that your protagonists are simply stupid pathetic wimp cuckolds.

Whats all that bullshit about his searching for a replacement family ? Should we be impressed with his elaborated revenge ? Should we be thinking "wow, he is so cool, he can't be a stupid wimp" ?

He didn't have the balls to do what had to be done. End of story. He chose to go the way of the wimp and choose a miserable existence, lived in hatred and contempt, over confronting his cheating slutwife.

Everything else is just smoke up our asses. He is a pathetic loser and everything else is made up by you to make it seem like he accomplished something in live which he never would. Wimps don't get to be super-spy.entrepreneuers. End of Story.

this way you have room for improvement. TK U MLJ LV NV

...As sad as it is, the commentaries that dislike this story are devoid of Humanity, and the fact that Humans make mistakes, and that, in order to remain Human, one must be able to forgive one's self and others...I think that it is likely that his first wife may have had more than 'making a baby' in her mind when she went astray, and it is a little surprising that it took multiple children before he got the clues together, but, overall, a good story.

As for the critics, well, you will waste your time and piss off the pig; but that's ok too.

I just finished reading this for the fourth time and discovered that I have commented on it. I believe that it would be worth going back to RPSuch's own comments on the story where he sets out his goal when initiated writing this.

He achieved his objective!

Does someone consider this guy a "wimp"?

a good read - well developed story line - i think some people for get this is fiction and fun. loved the getting married dialog with the nurse asking for insurnace. sorry you dont write here anymore. gave you a 5 anyway.

The emotions portrayed of all three main characters,the depth and clarity - made this story a real joy to read - thank you.

This is a fantasy but such an enjoyable one. It takes a lot of conscious awareness to come up with such indepth characterizations, such verbal byplay, such sense of human pathos...something like that...I thoruoughly enjoyed this. Thank you for taking the time to create such a wonderful little world...

Easily in the top five LW stories on LIT. I cannot buy HueDogg's description of a wimp. He is a cuckold by definition, but he is not a instigator-cuck, nor a participant-cuck, nor even a willing-cuck. He is not even a tolerant-cuck. He IS a reluctant-cuck who sees no way out of a situation not-of-his-own-making that AVOIDS creating a bad problem for one (later three) children he has come to love and want to see flourish. I cannot accept that as qualifying for wimpdom.

Dud, just because you and the husband in this story want to raise another man kids like their your's is your choice. I think he's a wimp and allways will because of the idea of them being your kids. Look at it how ever you want, but in the end the DNA says she's a slut and he's a moron. The thing I find funny is you look at the husband like he's this real man protecting his family, and I say what family. They aren't his kids. Look at it from a different angle. When a man can't have kids what happens? The same shit that happened in this story. His wife ran off and became a slut, had someone else's kids and blamed her husband for not getting her pregnant. But GOD forbid if she couldn't have kids. Then if he went out and got some other woman pregnant, Lickdeedick, you would be the first to claim he's a dog, he's not a man and the rest of the bogus crap that all the so called "real men" spout. It's one thing to come into a marriage and know that not your kids and you raise them anyway, your a stepdad and it's a great choice. But for your wife to get pregnant by another man while your married and then to show nothing but disrespect for your husband and he stays just because of the kids is a wimp and willing cuckold. I look at it my way and that works for me.

I have seen the effect, while I personally walked away. I deal with the broken men on a regular basis. I help the husbands deal with coming from a war zone only to find out they have a cheating or pregnant wife. Some stay and I back them up just as if they had a faithful wife. And the rest I help send the wife home back to her family or in other cases just away from the husband. Alot of people do thing I'm harsh but in the end no matter how you look at it. The kids aren't his, she/he is a cheater and life goes on. Just so you know, my version of a wimp is any man that doesn't stand up and face the truth that is in front of him. Being a man doesn't mean being a fool for a woman, and just because they aren't his kids, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love them. And reguardless of what you may think, staying married because of the kids still doesn't make you their father, just like the kids having your DNA doesnt' makes you their dad. And someday the rest you'll figure out.

I won't have a cuck in my platoon because any guy that can't keep a woman is by definition a slacker and will run under fire BUT when it comes to knowing about cuckoldry those are the exact guys to ask because they know about one thing; being a cuck.

Bickering comments brought this story to my attention, and I am glad! Clever dialogue, good poking around inside people's heads, an interesting scenario, a nice romance, a verbal castigation that sinks into its recipient's head... this was a hell of a story!

Talented author and well written story. Illiterate jackwagons like hurdogg cannot recognize or appreciate how well this story was written. Technical and stylistic serendipity. Five Stars for Fifth Place.

so you think you know what I'm thinking...........humm how about, your comments about me being huecuck means about as much as the shit that rolls down a monkeys ass. I may change my name to huecuck, but then you'd have to get account and from 90% of the pussy assed comment you anon make, it'll never happen.

is thinking - "How did I end up being a cuck" and "Now that I've admitted to being a cuck, what next?" The eternal questions only someone who admitted to being a cuck, like Huecuck for example, can answer from experience instead of speculation.

you have these fags following you every where....I feel sorry for you dude. Your a cuck and the anon is just as much of one. LOL

fine story. one of the best. well written. good character development - plausable characters and situations - a good read for anyone. gave u a 5

Well written, good story, interesting characters, mystery and unfolding anwers, emotional connections. What more can the reader ask? Dan

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the "demonstrate the process after I punch you in the nuts" line. Very interesting piece on the concept-centered approach to teaching math. I have had a difficult time getting my students, collegues, and some parents to understand it. One thing, if you reached a conclusion about what "most" teachers want from that one incident then I suggest you take a stats course. A sample of 1 makes for very bad statisitcs.

rpsuch, I want to say how impressed I am by this storyline. I will admit that the first chapter left me confused and unsure of where this tale was going. But the second chapter clearly and decisively explained your intentions about this story.

As for the squabbling perpetual adolescents that infest the commentaries. Well, from this bunch of overripe lemons, I have gathered fascinating data on infantile narcissism, obsessive homophobia{by deep in the closet homosexuals} and hysterical gynophobics from this motherlode of childish tantrums.

I want to thank the crabby purblind commentators for providing such an abundance of material for my dissertations that earned me one of the only two A's given by the instructor of my college psychology course in the last four years.

I never said rpsuch couldn't write you fucking idiots. I said it's a willing cuckold story. Boo fucking whoo, if you didn't like my comments. Fuck anoncuck the stalker, faghater " the booty banddito". And any other cum out of a whore, pussy licking cuckold. I disagreed with lickdeesplit, I disagree with him 90 percent of the time, and it's his right to make comments just like I did. So for the rest of you jizz licking fags, that was for you faghater....Kiss my Ass! Oh and it's still a cuck story and it was a well written but a cuck story no less. ****

you fuckin disease.

It's all in here-- justice, sweetness, warmth, love, laughter, and OMG, Karen's intelligence and wit have me loving her.

damn it was a little cuckie but not in the end it wasn't. cuckie for staying with the kids and letting her fuck othr men but that "raw sewage" comment was great. but i don't believe for one second that the cheating fucking cunt would ever be reasonable in a divorce.

amusing and very entertaining..... but didn't like the plot very much

...I read this story,I marvel at the work the Author has put into it - of course I'm basing this on my own inability to even match it !!

The wording evokes many good emotions - and does the job superbly,without,resorting to vulgarity which tends to cheapen some stories.

Thank you for a really fine story.

Turns phrases so often it's more phrase spinning. Technically proficient with entertaining dialogue. And poignant. And very thoughtful. Nicely, nicely done.

With Rehnquist, DQ Steele, Slirpuff, Ohio, and SS06, there are a lot of best stories, but I may even promote this beyond the pantheon of the best into a new category emphasizing subtle, sophisticated, witty, insightful, and funny.

Even the climax deferring elision was well done and not gimmicky.

Truly enjoyed the story beyond certainly as much as I ever have. Well done. Thank you.

Great dialogue, interesting characters, well written. Wonderful!