by writingdragon
This is by far, the BEST of all stories here of fiction, fantasy or real life! It is very erotic to begin with and culminates in a total finality of our society's expectations of what family and sexuality is supposed to be all about. If a '10' would be possible, I'd give it that.....If a "1000" would be possible I'd give it that, too.
Thank you. From the first story "Home by Eight" that Lothario wrote, I had the feeling that future episodes could be special, if he were to write the sequels implicit in the origional. I'm so glad that Lothario agreed to let you continue the story, since apparently he didn't desire to do so.
This second chapter more than fulfilled my hopes about how Cindy and Martin's reunion would go. Both of your sequels are so well written, speak so lovingly from the heart, that I find it almost impossible to stop rereading.
Thank you ever so much
The story is a 10 X 100.
It is an excellent and uplifting tale.
Great presentatio;n.
With so many callous and cynical stories on this site, a solid happy ending is so refreshing. This tale lived up to ALL of my expectations. Bravo!
Wow...you've left me with a wonderful warm fuzzy feeling...This is the most incredibly romantic story, steaming sensuality and all...simply fantastic! I really liked the way you expressed the deep emotional involvement, the openness and honesty of all the characters, and of course the wonderfully descriptive lovemaking...BRAVO!!!
This goes on my "best story ever" list!
A sequel is supposed to be a continuation of the original story. Right from the beginning of chapter one of the sequel, though the characters had the same names, they had different personalities. That made too much of a disconnect between the two stories to allow it work as a sequel.
As an original story, it would have been fine.
With the last readers comments, yes this writer brings out more of the adult character personality and the results of how the problems each faced shaped that final product.
If you were looking for just a couple of high school or college kids interacting your points are valid. I believe the writer did a great job bringing out the people they become as adults. Not the teenie booper kids that just play games but real people. A sequel doesn't mean exactly the same it's the next part, I've noticed in real life most people mature and change to some degree greater or lessor as they age.
Great job, great sequel I hope there is more to come. Please continue this wonderful love story.
A great love story. With so many people writing loser stories, it is like a breath of fresh air to find an author who writes about love. I hope more writers will follow your lead.
What a fantastic pick-up of the original story. The development of the characters from high school kids to adults (and the lack thereof) was exceptional. Well done!
I think this has been a really wonderful story. Erotic, sensual and oh, so loving, tender loving. It may be the best I've read.
I rather feel if you have another chapter Daddy will become a daddy again--Cindys surprise??!
Please continue writing stories like this!
Nightowl21
Great story line. Truly romantic. Keep it going!
You have an obvious talent - but don't think that means you don't need an editor. Misspellings and grammatical errors take away from the story. KEEP IT UP - I really enjoyed both the first and second part!
You have a knack for taking a story and adding more to it than the story itself. Your characters were a delight. and all were adequate for the parts they played. Your plot was an unique extension of the original. I kept waiting for the child to be someone else's or the girl reverting to old activities. Thank you for not following the easy path. This was a happy story, unlike some of your others. I am enthused over your story telling techinique. Yhanks for sharing it with us
Thank you so much for sharing your talents with all of us. I loved this series and would love to see it continue.
I am a sucker for great stories and this is one. You made an exceptional expansion of Lothario's story. Thank you for your words and your time to write them.
outstanding writing,tell us what happen in washington with the new family.
dollar short, everyone beat me to the good comments. a fan always.
Your writing ability was well displayed with this submission. It could easily be made into a book by expanding the high school & college years for both main characters.
You may have rekindled my own passion for writting. Human interst, not sex was the focus.
Keep up the good work.
I really hope you do one more chapter to finish it up nicely. I have now read all your stories and hope you write many more. You do have a gift for this.
Your chapters 01 and 02 are better than the original set-up. Very nice read. I agree with one of the previous comments - you could have some fun with Martin, Cindy, and subsequent impregnations in chapter 03. I especially like the way you wrote Cindy accepting responsibility and growing up, but not losing her zest for life (and you presented her parents in a positive, supportive role which was refreshing). You could also have some fun running Martin's narcsissic louts through some wake-up trauma...
I like the direction you took the story but the writing styles are so different from the original and yours that they're almost not the same story.
Mostly the dialouge between characters is what makes it a little cheesy at times. Try to make conversations sound a little bit more natural and improper. It makes it more realistic.
But I like the direction this story took and all the subplots were nicely fleshed out. Other than the dialouge the description and thoughts of each character were truely touching.
This one of the most romantic endings to another's story I have read.
Thank you for the great read
Who am I to judge? Myself I prefer the combination of sweet and bitter -at least in stories. What I saw here was mostly late infatuation on martin part and tremendous relief and gratitude but mostly shame guilt and regret on Cindy's part. All good stuff for Romance, not so much for sounder relations based on actually knowing each other. In addition, some parts do tend to be go over the top. Example: Now we are talking about people in their mid twenties. So Martin approaches those three young women screams their names(?) then whisper to their ears their most intimate secret to which he is somehow privy despite being an outsider gick at the time , and those women burst into tears, then proceed to cry run away etc. Some times more is less. You could have driven the message of letting them get what they deserve much better by being two or three degrees more subtle. Just tone it done it would work better.
As stated by the comment I made, I have read and re-read this particular story many times since it has been published, and would love to see a follow up to this grand Love Story.
I know that you have not written anything for a while, but I do like your style if writing, and would love to read some more.
Many thanks from a satisfied reader.
Yep she has to be pregnant - good for 'em.
Wonderful story - perfect outcome.
There is a need for a proofreading editor nothing major just some issues with the word order or choice being off and having some one who did not know what you meant as you wrote it go through can always help.
Would love to see another chapter...everytime I read this story it just screams more!
C
I really enjoyed your sequels to the original story. Together, the three chapters reflect, in a wonderfully exaggerated way (as erotic stories are wont to do), the sense that life can hit you hard, but then reward you later. Is it soppy romance? Possibly. But I tend to believe that sometimes soppy romance is appropriate to getting the point across.
Deeply satisfying indeed. Good show.
As I said before, a great stand alone story. Now I have to read the original story.
this was an excellent sequel and follow on to the original author's story
Thank you for writing a wonderful story and sharing it.
Very well put together.... good intro, good rising action, etc....
You would think they would have learned the first time. The first mistake they could have and should have avoided. Thay were smart enough and experienced enough to avoid a second pregnancy until ready.
Your time and efforts are most certainly evident and paid off handsomely for your readers. I thoroughly enjoyed the story.
Thank you so much for these chapters. I really hated that the first chapter had no followup from the first author. A terrible hang. This one could also have had a little more completeness either extra on the ending or even one more chapter. That said, you did an excellent job wrapping up most of what had been left hanging in ch 1.
Great story, but it seems like there was more to say between them. Also, a little more with Seth would be cool.
Well written & made sense, but only a 3.
He's still a subservient/obedient/clueless guy doomed to be manipulated.
She's remained a self-indulgent female used to getting her own way & wanting to remain so.
Great story - all chapters and versions. Many years ago was manipulated to help move what I thought was girlfriend from abusive parents to new digs only to be dumped after couple weeks. Was obvious but the sex was great while it lasted
Good story. Would have been a great one except he accepted Seth as his son before knowing. Trust is great and it showed him in a wonderful light but for the child's sake it would have been better to take things slower. My opinion but I may be wrong. I often am lol. BardnotBard