All Comments on 'Thirteen Years'

What a delight to read. The suspense in places had the hair on the back of my neck standing up. I loved all of the little details in this dark story. And the ending was magnificent. Congratulations on a great little story...

The ending really got me! Yikes! Great job, good luck to you :)

It's great to see this finally up and ready. Very good work, Munachi, and good luck to you.

Incredible. Well paced and original in concept. Wonderful ending.

Excellent. Perfect for Halloween, Munachi. I was right to save you a five.

And that's about all I can say. ICK!

FtF

the ending was completely unexpected! Great story - well done!

Wonderful descriptions take you with them into this story. Character developmant and plot line give tremendous effect. The ending is wonderful.

Keep writing

Assuming you did not get overly ecstatic in your enjoyment, I think it's pretty safe to say I enjoyed reading it as much as you did writing it. :D Thanks for the story.

It takes a great (twisted?) mind to come up with a story like this. You ought to rewrite it as a screenplay....sure would make one hell of a movie!! I caught a few minor things..."sexteen" instead of "sixteen", "Bed room" for "bedroom" and a couple of awkward, wordy sentences here and there. Yet, all told a great read, and I am so glad you decided to share it with Literotica!!

Excellent story, Munachi! The ending caught me by surprise. Well done.

with a sting in its tail, best describes this story. A helluva ending. Brilliant. I loved it! Good luck in the contest.

Wonderful, utterly unexpected ending! Good luck in the contest!

What a great story with no hint of what the ending would be.

Tons of luck in the contest!

That was creepy good!!! Wonderful story with such a surprise to it...well done!

good luck to you!

Fusionnee (Abs and Nirvana)

The ending was nothing I expected.

Well done, and good luck with the contest!

Maharat

Loved it.

.....and I loved it!!

Great job & good luck in this contest :)

A subtle but cloying residue remains even after the reading and it is troublesome. Scary huh.

The inevitable occurred without escape and was very entertaining, most scary and not faintly predictable.

Thanks Authoress

With Very High Regard

...twisted tale of horror. A little wordy in places --Stephen King would be proud! *hugs* Good luck! ~Minx

This a great, creepy Halloween tale! It was like a horror movie where you want to scream, "Don't do it!" at the character. And, the ending..I never saw that coming! You did a wonderful job!

~Good Luck in the Contest~

Not particularly sexy, but really scary. When I couldn't get to Page 4, I was afraid I might miss the ending. Good luck in the contest.

Very well written Muni, kept me on the tip of my chair all the way threw, never expected that ending but very well though out...espectacular

Is english your first language? There were places in this that didn't make sense at all to me and that whole "let's tell everyone what really happened in the ending monologue" thing really clinched it.

Very scary story, and nicely paced too. The final dialogue made it even darker, which is great. Well done.

Well paced and suspenseful from beginning to end. Great plot twists in a strong narrative, delivered with fascinating ease and ability.

I loved it.

Extremely scary! Niceeee!!

I really enjoyed this story and wish that you would make a sequel to it. Maybe something about the world she is now in and what she is exactly. I loved it.

To "I Didn't Understand This": I don't see where you have any problems with either the author's use of language or the, as you put it, "Let's tell everyone what happened" scene. Usually you would be correct in your evaluation of such an ending, but in this case it worked so much better than usual. Great going, Munachi!

I thought that the ending was very depressing. The poor girl, who lost her mom and has been depressed for thirteen years selflessly trys to save her mother and risks her life in the process. And what happens? She gets trapped underground, her mother tells her that she's a monster and abandons her, and even has the audacity to blame her for the babies death!!

this story just made me want to read it. The suspense in it was fantastic, as well as the mystery of what she was meant to be.

The ending was kind of messed up but over all great story :)

wow, that was an enthralling horror story! and the end did surprise me bit... also pleased me in a way too: like, this isnt some hollywood fairy floss story, its more of a dark, original grimm brothers story. bravo