by SweetOblivion
to see if if could say anything constructive, or destructive, or instructive. This is nice, nice change up, for you, and from the rest of the stuff that surrounds,It kind of annoys me, the amount of people that think poetry isn't work. This shows work. For those interested, look at where, how and what rhymes.
5ed
with no hedges
1201's right.
I don't know if it was intentional or intuitive, but I like your use of syntax here, something which I don't think gets alot of discussion when it comes to craft. I liked the nice balance of sentence length. When combined with good line breaks and well placed punctuation, it gives it a nice flow with occasional pause, all of which add something to the poem IMO. Nicely done.
lovely, thought-porvoking, evocative...
what more can you want?