All Comments on 'Dark Earth'

Interesting S.O. if you’re familiar with Greek mythology or are willing to read a little bit about Persephone.

“Quite keen” and “quite cold” as well as too many “ands” made the lines feel forced to me. Your sonnets (for me at least) are typically more melodic. I also wondered if more soft consonants and 3 syllable words would make the poem sound better to my ear. The one 3 syllable word I read, “exercising,” still had a harsh sound to it.

Still, the last couplet was excellent, suggesting passivity, dormant winter on the one hand, and the inevitability of moist warm coming of spring. The word “quim” was a wonderful alternative to the vulgar terms so often written in “New Poems.”