All Comments on 'Haunted'

This is good. I love the comparisons. The first line pulls me in and I love "Aprodite's rival!" Careful with that phrse, She's been known to curse lives for less. Thanks for this great portrait of feelings.

and metaphor here in this bittersweet poem. There is a sense of loss, but I think the emotion of it would be enhanced if you remained more focused on the metaphors. You went with crimson wings to being haunted, then aphrodite's body (nice image here), then to peach tasting skin to the fire within her and then into the salvation lost in the second stanza. While perhaps reinforcing the poet's jumbled emotions at his loss, I think if you focused on one or two (maybe even three) of the metaphors and enhanced them though your poem so it is not a jumble of unrelated images, but something unified.

I think if you can do that, the overall emotion in the poem would intensify and the poem will sparkle...

jim : )