All Comments on 'Her Face Was The Desert'

some astonishingly vivid metaphors here and with a bit of work, it would be awesome. I dont know if you actually want

suggestions, but in the first stanza, you could shorten the last line to

I drank my fill...

you seemed to lose your focus towards the end, maybe if you just let it rest for a few days, you could see it with fresh eyes and understand what I mean

but I really do love this, seeing th e potential, i am tempted to rewrite it myself, but I would never do that to someone elses poem :)

have a great day- M

This could be a very good poem, and the metaphor does show great promise, but it's a bit awkward, at times.

The desert can at once be very warm, dry and hostile during the day and cold and equally deadly at night.

Her hair, the NIGHT sky - Milky Way reference oblige.

Her eyes, one is the moon, the other the sun - the oddest thing of all, the way I read it. The image is of complete asymmetry, which isn't the most appealing thing in a human face.

All in all it is a good poem and a pleasant read, but the desert is traitorous. You should review these metaphors and make sure the message you want to transmit isn't symbolically disfigured.

I think if you consider what Maria and Lauren suggested you can make it that much better. Either way, well done.

jim : )

This reminds me of my own dear, beloved wife, and the special relationship that we share.... Thanks, DSoul!! You really wrote a good one, here!!