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Click hereI'm a fucking saint I tell ya,
With a bottle of Old No. 7 Holy Water
And halo for a cock ring.
I'm not here for absolution,
I won't hear your fucking prayers.
The music of Sid and Nancy drowns it all out.
I'm the patron saint of sinners
I'll lay hands on tits and ass
And bless you good and proper, slut.
In a cathedral of neon lights and stripper poles,
The offerings are taken up in poker chips
And vespers are whispered as joints are passed.
The world is made of sex, drugs and rock and roll
And virtues and vices are the same damn things
And I'm a fucking saint I tell ya.
I have to confess (for I have sinned) that I find your discussion of theology illuminating, particularly the references to the noted theologians and sainted literary fellows St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas, First Doctor of the church. I really liked your repeated use of St Aquinas' eloquent last earthly words 'I'm a fucking saint I tell ya', bespoken to all gathered wherein he departed the terrestrial realm and took his seat amongst the blesséd in Heaven. This, I have no doubt, is the true topic of this poem. Furthermore I enjoyed the references to St Sid of Aquitaine and St Nancy of Lorraine, who forsaking all earthly pleasures and violence formed the musical troupe the Abstinant Cushions.
I think, also, the underlying political and socio-economic issues you raise are fascinating. You have genuinely captured the moment of British demographic inequality as, unfortunately, those most inclined to turn to the world of professional stripping are disenfranchised and scorned Eastern European immigrants. Who is to blame, Salvor Hardon (I apologise, St. Salvor Hardon as you proclaim your own beatification)? Your poem raises these issues and more backsides. If you have more poems of a similar nature, I would appreciate it if you'd send them to me. In fact, if you have any poems at all, especially those relating to my specialisation (bestiality in early Renaissance poetry) that would be wonderful. In fact, when all is said and Donne, your poetry is the best thing on the internet. (Except my beautiful girlfriend)...(whom I hope is not on the internet)...(or if she is that I feature somewhere)...(is this comedic style working for you?)...(
Write to:
The Sex Booth
69 Rude Funnell lane,
Royston Boulev-hard
Pratt's Bottom
Kent
PB69 000
Eamonn
You have a great use of language and cultural knowledge. I read this poem and though, fucking amazing. Great job. Why did you publish here? Send it out!!!!!