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Click hereif snow men and snow woman
were rolled together and they
melted from their frolic play
that would explain alot
but never understood
why mess with missy'stoes
kisses she gested
with toes over head
sleigh ride of snow bladed song
blanket and horse drawn
singing christmas carols wrong
cold noses and kisses long
holiday cheer for Santa's near
tranquility of a snow trailed deer
emotions roar for an inner wish
I hope you get it this Christmas
improvement in anyone's work... but I liked this because it was cheery. Often my girls and I will make up silly words to carols, ( or any song at all), thus, singing them "wrong". IT was a pleasure to read that part, made me smile..Thank you MET
I heard about this poem somewhere and I wanted to check it out and see who wrote it. :) Though, I guessed it was you. You do have your own style. I like quite a bit of what you've written here, but I think it could use a revision. It was a good idea to submit it and get some feedback. There are times I go back and revise and resubmit some of my work.
The first line has snow men and snow woman. Why not snow man and snow woman or snow men and snow women?
I think your last two stanzas are definitely the best. Your snow bladed song and snow trailed deer lines are very good.
And I think gested is suppose to be jested. Yes, no?
Dear Art.. as usual your light hearted view of laughter and graceful living shines in this work. I love how you meld the symbols of the holiday together... and giddy I become envisioning the sled, blankets and kisses... I become the melting snowpeople lol.. so dear one, I personally say YAAAAY to this light hearted view of winter blues! Thank you... and I do have to say I am shocked that the poem that reflects gay times and joyful living should provoke such nasty behavior from others. This saddens me as I know it must you Art... blessings.. Du Lac
Shame on you both for using the Public Comment Forum for what should be broached in a private message. To get back to the poem....misletoe, as I understand it, is a little sprig of greenery that when hung, encourages people to embrace under it. Therefore, I would simply like to know what does snowmen and women frolicing have to do with mistletoe? And why are people singing Christmas carols wrong? Because they forgot the words? On purpose? To be a smartass? None of these questions are answered, and take away from the thrust of the poem, which I believe was supposed to be about misletoe, not riding around singing Christmas carols wrong which could easily be used as the basis of another poem. What is idiotic to you Annora and Anonymous? Anything you don't agree with 100%? I'm trying to stick to commenting on the poem, not using the public airwaves to make a political statement. That sure smacks of idiocy to me, not my perfectly reasonable questions about this poem which IS somewhat confusing to me!
Shame on you both for using the Public Comment Forum for what should be broached in a private message. To get back to the poem....misletoe, as I understand it, is a little sprig of greenery that when hung, encourages people to embrace under it. Therefore, I would simply like to know what does snowmen and women frolicing have to do with mistletoe? And why are people singing Christmas carols wrong? Because they forgot the words? On purpose? To be a smartass? None of these questions are answered, and take away from the thrust of the poem, which I believe was supposed to be about misletoe, not riding around singing Christmas carols wrong which could easily be used as the basis of another poem. What is idiotic to you Annora and Anonymous? Anything you don't agree with 100%? I'm trying to stick to commenting on the poem, not using the public airwaves to make a political statement. That sure smacks of idiocy to me, not my perfectly reasonable questions about this poem which IS somewhat confusing to me!