by lobomao
I keep coming back to this, lobo, which is intended as a compliment. I find the poem haunting and rich its imagery. I'm warming up to the artifact of computers. As a babyboomer, I probably would have chosen another representation of modern times, although I'm guessing it would appeal to millenials.
I had a some trouble with the double negative in L5., and structurally I'm not sure why 3 of the lines were stand alone, so it detracted my attention briefly and interrupted the flow.
"fell hand" was a delight. It rubbed me the wrong the wrong way at first because I didn't understand its use. I do now. I don't mind disruptions to a poem as long as they result in an "aha."
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the last stanza, but it seemed superfluous to me. It felt like an epigraph of another poet without attribution. If it wasn't, the archaic language felt didn't fit, given the preceding stanza, which I think would have been sufficient to end the poem.
I hope you post more of your work here. I enjoyed reading this
I just realized you were once a frequent poetry contributor on Literotica. I'm looking forward more of your stuff.