All Comments on 'Red October'

Clever and intelligent poetry, sir. You never disappoint. I like the use of luminous and numinous, your juxtaposition of Pharoah and Aztec how the nagual harkens to the spiritual under the numinary of night and back to animal in the dawn. Thanks for sharing your poem.

Yeah, what she said, with an added 25%. :)

Excellent juxtaposition of the warmth of life and the cold of the living dead...

Not only is it clever and intelligent, it is infuckingcredibly beautiful. While I am more partial to the work you used to have up (it had a more rock'n'roll feel to it) your more recent work is amazing.

Great poem 1201. Mournful and caught the lonely hours of early morning beautifully. The one line that stopped it being a near perfect poem for me was 'I looked in the mirror while shaving,' It just feels too literal to me in a poem full of melancholic metaphors.

bb

Although I'd describe some elements of this poem as being downright brilliant, it has some flaws(not that my work doesn't sometimes have these as well.) To point out one: "I burn with the heat of the sun

on sand." "I burn with the heat of sun on sand" is much more impactful. On a similar note, I'd dispose of the "and" at the beginning of the last stanza. Next to last stanza, a comma after "awe." I'd also consider a little more nature imagery: something to clarify this landscape and offset the personal rumination(assuming the poem is actually set in the desert, I'd expand on this theme.)

friendly regards,

Sean