All Comments on 'Schoolgirl's Desire'

is good in most of my favorite pens...but...this needs a bit more power...standing as is ...its ok..but, the idea is really great...Imho >I would add a tad more juice...blue

It's perfect ~ and blue's right too.

As a stand-alone, it could be stronger;

but in a collection, it'd make me want to turn the page and read more of what you offer.

you work the magic of this poem well....Bravo!

Late september days

when afternoon hours

seem like forever

and their heat

is the heat of a sigh

held close

is it then that we

for our short time

start to know each other

eyes forward

hands down

crisp cotton

fresh pressed silks

an offered apple

a lesson of lines

form and flow

the question I am dared to answer

do i take the fruit

to my mouth

and study at your feet

Late september days

when afternoon hours

seem like forever

and their heat

is the heat of a sigh

held close

is it then that we

for our short time

start to know each other

eyes forward

hands down

crisp cotton

fresh pressed silks

an offered apple

a lesson of lines

form and flow

the question I am dared to answer

do i take the fruit

to my mouth

and study at your feet

whoops! sorry!! My laptop is a bit quirky and i submitted my comment twice... duh, how lame am I?