All Comments on 'Stormy Sea'

Very good for your first poetry posting! I like the piece a lot. Only critique is that you are too descriptive. You write poetry like most story writers do and end up with a piece that is too wordy. Try removing as many unnecessary words as possible, while still retaining the meaning. I look forward to your next piece. Thanks.

I like the description, but do agree with the last comment.

What we storytellers do with a paragraph a poet does in with a word.

Nonetheless, I found the poem most enjoyable making the analogy from the see to the man.

Good job.

The comment on being close to prose is fair enough. It actually was a passage of prose in a story that will post here soon, "At Sea with Maurice." My editor reset that passage to poetry, saying he read it as poetry. So, for a lark, I posted it to Lit. as poetry. There's a sentence more in the prose version, but that related to the larger story and isn't understandable standing alone, so I excised it. Other than that, this started life directly as a prose passage in a story.

There is nothing wrong with the way this poem is written other then some tired phrasing and superfluousness that a bit of editing could fix. I think this poem is imaginative and "hot" or the metaphors make me hot. Enjoyed, thanks!