All Comments on 'The Trinity'

"Life is in the waters that spawn life's strife

many a creature has drank from the river of life"

Consider changing life's to its.

this - very good- despite what you think of my critiques, some of the redundancy of words, phrases add to the hypnotic effect, but can also be overdone, i.e. perhaps too many old and losts <grins back bigger at you>

Trinity comes spawned in rivers of three

Living till Old and Lost, is the Trinity

I LIKE it!!

Wonderful feel of an almost mystical river...

of words made the flow very nice...and am glad to see 12 playing the good/bad critic fairy...blue

Good Arty...flowed nicely...almost like a soft wave! but still a powerful word approach as always!

I love it!

T

Here,

in the standing of divide,

of water and man,

to find mountains of rocks

and breaks,

where the river runs,

fluent, and just

content in flowing,

to Awe'd.

*** you must know,

one of my favorite topics..

TY !

-sGp-