All Comments on 'Time'

You're right about the wonder of that realization, watching an infant sleep. But, just like my title of this comment has boiled your first verse down to just a line, I wonder what would happen if you tried the following experiment:

1. Cut everything down to the bare minimum.

2. Repeat and reorder the images as necessay.

3. Then write the soft, (and short), transitional phrases, keeping in mind the structure you ultimately want.

I think you might be surprised at what you discover.

She leaves it exactly as it is, a personal comment about her experiences. This is prosaic, not strictly poetic. Give it a rest. smiles.

I think it's beautiful

SN

soo sweet, brightie. it reminded me of when i was a new mother eons ago.

Grae's wench [wenchplease]

Awwwwwww brightie! Makes me smile with warm sweet memories...and makes me a bit misty as well...~*hugging you*~...thank you sis for sharing, it feels good to remember. love you, kata