All Comments on 'Will you come inside my mirror?'

It's good to see a novice poet putting forth effort. Keep writing. You'll improve. :)

Sack, do you really need the ending? Or at least do you need the next to last line? Isn't the explicitness a bit much considering what has been said in the main body of the poem?

I would chop out the first stanza, #2,3,4 are quite solid, well above ordinary, last one dips a little, AVOID the word "shard" if glass is involved.

but I did not understand it from a glance but I am not looking deeply into the mirror either. I read your write sack. <grin> (~_~)

So much pain here. I feel it with ya my friend. You paint this picture with brilliant strokes of hurt, passing through your brush of love as it dips into the crevices of past ... future. Just a great poem of need ...

Huggs ya my friend.

I really love this one Dave.

Lotta hurt and so much

feeling coming through.

More, I want more ~!!!

looks a bit cliche, but the rest makes up for that. i really like the 2nd stanza though...solid piece......don

Dave and very very sad...from birth to death...

Deep, powerful and heartfelt. I see an anonymous asshole in the crowd. Prehaps a little bored - ah, perhaps a little jealous of good POETRY! Well done, my friend!

I would edit this out:

Will you be with me when I die?

Will you?

Your message is clear!

sal

A powerful and heartfelt plea permeates this lovely rendering. Be with me ~ come what may. Lovely effort!