All Comments on '52 Pick-Up'

Got To Be One Of The Best I Have Read This Month.....

You are an amazingly gifted writer..... keep giving us more " cheating has consiquences " stories in the future.

^^ Thanks ^^

You really are one of the most creative writers. Thanks for turning the comments on. It gives me the opportunity to tell you how much I enjoyed this story.

I enjoyed your story very much.

Boyd

Nice story with development of realistic characters. You were a little bit slow to give us Melinda, but the ending was delightful.

a wife cheats for a year and you are lied too and betrayed.she disrespected you as a man you lost trust in her.now what happen the next time,because they say once they cheat she want stop.

You demonstrated that nothing is forever and almost all people grow, mature, and learn. The so-often repeated mantra of "once a cheat, always a cheat" has been used so much it has lost any real meaning, at least to me. Can life’s experiences be so simply summarized? It seems that many readers firmly believe that a person cannot learn from a mistake and become a better person. That people feel everything is pre-determined and destined to repeat itself is sad. I prefer those that have hope and believe in love and forgiveness, when possible. Life is too short to spend with someone that lies and cheats, but it is way too short to carry senseless grudges to the point where you lose your humanity. Thanks for the story!

Overall it was a very good story; although I saw several similarities to the House of Cards by Ohio. The cum crusted panties, the recording, Melinda vs Marianne (even the name May Anne was used once) Ernie vs Eddie, Tim vs Tom. Kids at camp. The affair lasting nearly a year.

After that though the story became more unique; Tim was certainly more angry than Tom and was out for revenge.

So good story..

Story was great till the end then the part of putting it back together was rushed another half a page would have made it great. Please consider a story from her side. A lot of questions still need to be answered from her point of view from the point of catching her to the reconciling. what took her so long to go to counseling,why she was so amazed when he did not forgive her right away,who was she talking to during the breakup, and what she felt at the end of her marraige to the begining of a new start. You are a good writer I got sucked in. You made me hate her then hope she would be able to get back with him. Thank you!

Excellent read. I thought you handled the getting back together very well. I tend to be a cut your ties and move on guy but I can see them getting back together. Hope you'll write more of this style.

One thing he never really talked to her about was her "intimacy" with the other guy, particularly: "Yes, I love you too. But in a different way...thank God I don't have to choose. I have the best of both worlds. A husband who makes love to me and a lover who totally fucks me."

Hearing her tell someone else she loves him is pretty hard to get over. That said, I agree totally with hdk The only ones that can say whether or not reconciliation makes sense is the two people involved.

Good effort - DJ

Good story. This was definately not a "reconcile at any cost" story - his revenge was thought through and thorough. Without it, I don't think he could have ever forgiven her. The only part I think is unrealistic is that she didn't date - IRL she would have. Still could have ended up with the same ending, though.

Extremely well written with well drawn characters. It was most proper that sufficient time was given for the anger and angst to have eased a bit. Infidelity in a union can destroy and it's nice to come upon instances where a relationship is saved, albeit with a lot of turmoil. Thanks for a great read.

word and a good description. definitely one that i will read over and over. as a matter of fact, this was the third time. couldn't believe i hadn't commented on it. excellent writing and a damn good read. a fan always.

I loved the story because it was very well written, and because it was one of the very few long stories that I have read beginning to end, a job well done. The only problem I have with the story is the ending, the reason I say this is because it's like deja vu another story about a cheating wife and a husband who despite what she has done ends up taking her back in the end. Been there read that. Don't get me wrong you are a great writer and I have book marked more of your stories, and can't wait too read them. It's just that Iam tired of reading about a cheating wife and a stupid and forgiving husband. I still look forward to reading more of your stories, keep up the good work.

Sorry..you write well but your story ended up totally fucked up and un believable.

as others have said there is a lot of similarity between the stories...

wife in HOUSE OF CARDS is Marriane here it is Melinda... Hubby in House is TOM here it is TIM....

wife's Loverin HOUSE is Eddie-- here it is ERNIE

The main issue is that HOUSE of cards sucks shit on toast b/c all TOM does is talk and talk and talk and talk.... and with in less than a week TOM is giving the whore wife a full kiss..

In THIS story... HUBBY really slamms this whore and rightly so... OHIO should read this story to learn how it is done

1] Of course this story has similarities based on House of Cards - that was the point. I enjoyed House of Cards, I thought it had a great premise. I had some problems with the husband's initial strong stance and how quickly he faded into becaming an apologist for his wife's actions. That POV became the seed for my story. I think she got off way too easy in House of Cards and I thought that hubby needed to get a little more self-esteem boosting along the way. But that's just me.

2] Before i posted this story I ran it by Ohio, he liked it. Incidently Ohio had some very good suggestions that I eventually included in the final draft.

3] I would disagree that those readers who characterize this as a revenge fuck story. It's a story about a marriage breaking up and of the pain released in that break up. This eventually leads to reconcilliation, though it took a long and winding road to get there...and it could just as easily not made it. I wrote this with the intention of getting them back together - ala House of Cards - but by a different route.

4] Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to comment and/or write me personally. I really appreciate your comments and critiques.

How did I miss this in back in Feb?

Believable route to a reconciliation - a method rarely seen on Lit.

Slightly overstated in places, but that's your style.

I just re-read this, and realized I never made a comment when I first saw it posted.

It's terrirfic--very powerful, above all the series of feelings that Tim goes through in dealing with Melinda's adultery, and the way he gets his revenge is amply satisfying.

I guess I'm slow, because I hadn't noticed before the "House of Cards"-- "52 Pick-up" connection.

Count me among juanwildone's many fans--more please!

ohio

the viciousness and anger toward his wife was actually embarrassing for me to read. i felt like this was real and i was experiencing it myself; the revenge he took out on his wife was believable because it's usually harder for men to deal with a cheating wife because of our fragile ego's.

the part w/ the children seemed unrealistic (and the wife not dating); being a child of divorce i know it would be very painful for them and as a father i would have tried to avoid a divorce and hopefully handled the situation with more dignity. anyway whew! i need a break! oh and i do like that they got back together in the end.

...but ultimately not very erotic. Too many details got in the way here - the story needs more sex. The ending is particularly cutesy, especially the scream that scars the kids for life. And how old is the narrator if Jillian is 21 years his junior?

It kept me reading til the end, because like I said, you have a good writing style - readable, clear, even funny in places. But ultimately this was like reading a Harlequin romance when I wanted a Hustler Fuck of the Week.

Enoyed this story and it seems well written.

Time heals everything!? I think he would still have trouble trusting her. Maybe leaving the electronic eavedropping equipment on her would help?? I didn't really get the transformation of Melinda but certainly she sounds like maybe it's true.

Something I've never figured out. Does sex really become mundane? I've always found it great just in missionary position. Add a little different positioning occasionally but it's all great. Some people must get tired of the partner rather than the sex. And that is a major problem. I can see where the disrespect of the partner could set in. And the marriage vows are disregarded.

Forgiving Melinda for all that would be difficult but enough time can heal the problem. Well, let's you forget it, maybe.

He wasn't worried about getting revenge from Ernie? Ernie should learn to keep his hands off of married women. He needs a major lesson. At least, Ernie's marriage should be drug over the hot coals also.

At last a story that features the consequences of cheating. In so many stories today, the husband is clueless that his wife is cheating with one or many men. The women in those stories are only interested in how many orgasms they acheive; their family can disapear down the drain and they go along their merry way.

I think you did an excellent job of creating such rage in the husband for him to take the action he did. The wife realized what she had lost and was, after therepy, truly sorry. The husband learned that when hate disapates, love can still survive.

I must say this story was so very good. It is the best of Literotica. Apart from all other cum soaking stories this story really dealt the real life situation. I would like to congratulate the writer for writing such a powerful story. Best of Luck for future assignments

Could things happen this way? YES

One main things that gets to me on many LW tales is how fast that the man crashes and burns before he begs his cheating spouce to forgive him.

WHA?!?!

Here we have a wife that ACTS liek most of the wives in LW and then slowly..GROWS THE HECK UP.

"Learning her lesson" is different from knowing what she did.

In the first it's like swatting her hand becosue she wanted a cookie.

in the second she knows the pain she gave and that no matter what ... it's HER FAULT.

A good one and Dang...I wish I had more room in my Favorites to add it in!

The heart wrenching part was when her stud muffin got hauled away in error for drug use...How terrible.

That was Incredibly great you also need to reread your work you had alot of words mispelled in it.

Of course I a sucker for a happy ending, but I'm also a sucker for justice. I think you did a great job with both. This was indeed a couple who were "made for each other."

No husband should accept a cheating wife. However, humans have the unique ability to change. She fixed her problem and she showed her loyality by not dating even when it looked hopeless. She became someone worth having as a wife.

To not give her that opportunity would be to punish yourself if you were the husband.

Thanks for a very good story.

This was a hot story. The sex was there, but the relationships were what it was all about! It's important to remember that the relationship is ALWAYS the most important thing in these stories.

How do these couples "end up"? To see this total divorce situation wind up in reconciliation was the best possible outcome, for me! It didn't work out that way in real life for me. But that it can and does for some of the couples in these stories gives me a sense of hope in this world, if only for all the other couples so benighted by divorce.

Loved the read, very smooth and enjoable. Hated the ending, after such a great payback, hubby wimps out and takes her back. (zed)

You Know she will cheat on you again when you do get back together because once a cheater always a cheater so dont let you guard down.

Pat .

Pretty well written. Plenty of story. Just doesn't really make sense to me.

Im glad Melinda learned from her mistakes she found that she had the grand prise in front of her and now she isnt going to ignore the prise.

Atlanta,Ga

Had nearly the same things happen to me, except for the ending. We are indeed remarried, just to different folks. I could never trust the ex ever again, and she would not even try.

In my case it worked out for the best for everyone. New wife, kid still with me, and get child support. She, on the other hand, married her lover and as long as the check arrives, I have no reason to communicate with her at all.

Nicely paced prose with believable characters in realistic situations. I enjoyed the author's portrayal of the marriage break-up, how he picked on the little things, the tiny signs of disrespect, the subtle aversion to intimacy. The ex-wife's discomfort at his post-divorce sex life was a bit overdone, and I thought it strange that she would choose not to date at all after the divorce. The husband's search for a new partner was well-done, nicely illustrating the difficulty one has in finding someone suitable.

<P>

Very nicely told. I thank you for your effort.

As much as I loath the very thought of infidelity, I could see that under the certain conditions, maybe there is still hope. I don't know. Very entertaining story.

The revenge was cerebral, (nice to see he didn't need a baseball bat) and the relationship with Jill well done.

Like the wit, the occaisonal "If I give you 20 dollars will you go away" style.

And the reconcilliation was pretty well related.

The relationship with Melinda initiallty (pre infedelity)struck me as a little 'un loving". And I think that you faded Jill out of the picture a little too quickly, it would hae been nice to see he and Jill have a talk, consider their future, before he was boarderline unfaithful to Jill going back to Melinda. But thats a minor content issue.

Thank you for a well told story.

I was able to suspend disbelief, just enough so that I could enjoy the reconciliation part. The fact that you were able to lead me through this

highly improbable part (in real life) to the end, speaks for your skills as a story teller. Usually I just can’t buy it, even within the confines of the story.

High level of attention to details on emotions – a rarity with this genre.

Kept me glued to the screen the whole time... I really like this story... well done and thankyou for such a great read!

you all might hate the ending but this is so true to real life. we love we make mistakes we get revenge we realise its empty we get back together ..... marvelous writing. thanx for sharing!

You got a gift

Nice to read one that can get past bad choices and become a family again.

You really have the talent to make a story come to life.

Wow! Geat Story, and the ending brought tears to my eyes. You ran us through the gammit of emotions. Skillfully done!

Quite okay.. Just wish that all cheating was so easy to spot :) And so easy to handle... Cheers Yoron.

Loved your story, very compelling reading

This is one of my favorite stories on the website! It had a good flow and your descriptions of the emotions and the interactions between the husband and the wife made them both sympathetic characters. I liked the reconciliation at the end. Everyone got hurt enough. It was time to move past that. Keep up the good work.

I usually don't care for reconciliation endings especially when the spouse cheats for any length of time but I enjoyed this one and I'm not really sure why. I could probably disect it and come up with a reason but suffice it to say you pulled it off with style. Keep up the good work

This was story telling at it's finest tbh. Liked how even though he still loved her, he had to destroy her and move on. Also the way he explained why he was forgiving her was nice in that it was for both her and himself, didn't hurt that there was also a good deal of time for him to settle his thoughts and feelings on the subject either. Finally the ending was nicely done, and just glad that he didn't end up cheating on Jillian or anything like I thought was going to happen. Hope to read more of your works in the future.

I really like your writing style. You really developed your characters well. I can't wait to read more of your stuff! It was a very satisfying story all-around.

The best! Well written and told! Bravo!

...example of human frailty. He loves her, he hates her, he loves another but loses her, then he realizes he loves the first one after all. Perfect story, I loved it! You have quite an imagination; I am pleased you shared your genius with us! Keep writing! Jim

Stupid wim and wife slut

Nice story. Not nearly as torrid and evil as many cheating spouse stories. Melinda got her cumuppance. The husband got a holiday from his joke of a marriage and even experienced love in the process with the young hotty Jillian, whom Melinda accepted fully as somebody who made her ex-husband happy. Melinda learned that loving somebody meant looking out for the other person's happiness as well as her own. The kids got their family back. All in all, a good tale. Hope more families figure out those life lessons instead of repeatedly putting people through hell. The only thing missing was revenge against Ernie. A man who knowingly fucks a married woman shows a total lack of respect for both the cheating spouse and the cuckolded husband, and should face severe punishment for being a douche bag.

You've taken a bad situation and turned it into a marvelous story. Excellent writing and flow. Thanks for this treat!

Why take on new trash when you can keep old trash and just let it stink. The exwife was a manipulator and a lying deceiving bitch. There is no way he can ever trust her again.

And from what I've read in this story, she has. Remember, grace is forgiving someone who does not deserve forgiveness. It totally is in the power of the one offended.

I think this may have been the best one of yours that I've read. The ending couldn't have been any better. Definitely a Five Star story. Thanks for sharing a fine talent with us all.

You had a great story well written and only one omitted letter that I found. However the ending killed the whole thing.

For him to take her back is just rubbish!

There really are some bitter twisted bastards on this site. So he took her back, so what, it's fiction, it had a happy ending just smile and read something else.

All of it, including the reconciliation, was very well written.

No doubt thought through, from the beginning to the end. Quite a roller coaster

i guess i'm not a good person because i would kill myself before i ever talk to her again about seeing each other. But i ask some other people and quess what of the 8 i asked only one would give her the time of day, the other 7 said if their wife or girl friend were screwing someone else for a year they could have her but on this site it seems there is something wrong with you if you act normal if you get upset it is only a story.

This was a well written story. I enjoyed the high spots and the low ones as well. Many stories here have left me wondering what is next. Yours did not. It left me wanting more. 52 Pick-Up is the first of your stories I have read. It will not be the last.

quite a masterful telling i laughed i trembled with rage and i smiled for the power of love!! best i have read on here yet, and i havent been idle. i really enjoyed "operation slap the slut" thanx for the read!!

I know some people in real life whose relationships survived or recovered from infidelity and can say that while trust is very hard to earn back it's not impossible and if someone bends over backwards to pay for a mistake its not a sign of weakness to forgive them. It was a great read, and while the ending was a bit abrupt it was not unheard of or even that unlikely. To the author, nice story and keep up the good work.

Yeah some people get over infidelity. And some people get over cancer. Would be a lot better if the people never got cancer wouldnt it. Infidelity is a choice someone makes, it isnt something that happens. You have to put yourself in the position for it to happen. A woman raped against her will is one thing, a woman chosing to rape and ravage her spouse by betrayal and infidelity is another. The woman in this story is mentally damaged merchandise, why keep trash, recycle and get an improvement.

This story has it all... From the revenge to the reconcilliation it is a delight to read.

By a Master of the Pen !!!

he didn't get enough of her creampies the first time around - time for round 2

A perfect fantasy. A world where soured milk goes back to being fresh and whole.

If I wanted reality I'd read a newspaper.

I thoroughly enjoy a reconciliation story where the wrong party truly repents and atones. This was one of them.

Thanks.

You pulled it off reconciliation while maintaining his important body parts. Very well done Sir!

of all of the stories i have read. this is the one that says hope springs eternal. excellant fictional writing. ever wonder how many real life situations this story reflects

The prose flowed well, it was a good bit of revenge and the reconcilliation was also believable.

I can't believe that both FD45 and RePhil are complimenting an author of a reconciliation story. One where the wife cheated for a year. My God, I better start digging a fallout shelter. Great story, I wasn't going to comment since this is the second time I've read this story but after reading the comments I just had too.

Good writers like these are Tempering my point of view!! LOL Or I'm just mellowing like an old Single Malt Scotch. Appologies juanwildone for Chatting here

You make me sound like Billytheger.

You made it work. That's all that counts in a fiction story. I am sure that a lot of couples do in real life too...

I think you made it very realistic when Jillian and Tim don't get married i liked the ending too, Melinda seems to be cured from her infedelity

cream pie?

Liked the realism of this. The reconciliation was believable to me because enough time passed for him to get over his hurt, and he got to experience a new relationship for a time to help erase the bad memories of the old one.

Maybe -

Should be an interesting future for the imaginary couple lol -

Nicely done and conceivable.

Thanks -

there's no love, they made up merely for the sex. I have no doubt their relationship would be an open one.

One recently admitted that he didn't like women very much and wouldn't trust a woman. That's just a result of poor selection of women companions. Men who are raised to distrust or dislike women have my full sympathy.

BTW I enjoyed the re-read of the story.

I'm staying standing for sex and peace. On the 'net. Of course in real life I love a fucking war. Step it up cuckboy.

didn't get his creampie?

he got his revenge, she learned her lesson. a lot of time passed and they got back together. not to bad 5*'s

I like your writing a great deal. I liked the main character a whole lot, too. These types of reconciliation stories are always interesting: long-term good marriage, kids, then the wife takes up with another man for a prolonge, secret affair, hubby finds out, all hell breaks loose, wife is remorseful, husband gets to the point that he can forgive, and then reconciliation. It's a tried and true format in the LV genre, and I've rarely read a better version.

Technically, I like that you keep your paragraphs short and snappy. I like your mix of dialogue and narrative. It just reads so easy. 4 pages from you go by like 2 from most other authors.

Personally, I don't think I could forgive that prolonged of a betrayal. Her remorse and atonement (agreeing to a disadvantageous divorce term, her not dating at all for a few years, etc.), his "pound-of-flesh", etc., would help, but damn, she even told the other man that she loved him. In retrospect, she says that she did not; that she was excited by the experience, that the cheating ("the game") made up much of the thrill. But, how long would the affair have gone on had hubby never known? Her ongoing dishonesty for almost a year is pretty disgusting. Her disdain for her husband as evidenced not just by her actions, but also by his words, was really bad.

I thought the scam he pulled on wife and lover was funny, btw.

Anyway, I'm a fan.

One of the most entertaining story to date.

Thank you Author.

Not bad for a perfect story. Still a major fan of your writing

couples get together all the time but rarely does the slut go without until it happens.

I went through this once. The difference was my wife ran off with another man, leaveing me with four children. I have never got over my hate of her. Your story is really great. Keep writeing

fool me once....shame on you, fool me twice...shame on me....

she did it once she will do it again

I can live with, well written and a joy to read

So, the fucking whore succeded in her whoring and the stupid cuck will be cucked again.......... Some story

...when the little head does the thinking.

But I have the feeling that Tim will never completly trust Melinda ever again. The marriage may last until the kids are grown and out of the house, so it is probably best for the kids.