All Comments on 'A Beautiful Wife And Mother'

Super hot but very poorly written. Please get an editor.

Hot story and interesting plot with potential - but it is very hard to read and almost every sentence is a battle. Please, please get an editor.

The abuse and humiliation

were disturbing to me and not

erotic in the slightest.

Does she work for Mayflower Moving? Please re-read your stories to see if your words make sense.

First, I agree that this needs editing. Very poorly written.

Second, I do advocate open marriage and spouse sharing. But this story took things too far for me. I do want my wife to be happy and do not object that she has sex with others. But she is not abused as Donna is. I cannot understand a woman like Donna - someone that needs and craves abuse. This story exposed to me that I have limits I did not know I had. I could not be Mick and would have trouble with a wife like Donna.

I gave it only 2 stars, and that may be two too many. I believe in love and sex. I believe they are two different things and can be enjoyed separately. But I do not believe in nor condone abuse.

Oh boy! This is porn! Editing, well written, badly written. The story is full of all the stereotypes that make porn infantile and primordial (of course 'slut' had to be there, otherwise what kind of story would be) and you care about editing?

The overuse of that punctuation mark makes the majority of your dialogue into obnoxious screeching. The defilement of the angelic wife and mother is a classic trope. You've made it blandly revolting by overdoing every possible element. Tossing in a few random thoughts on his part about how this isn't really him is laughable. It's also as believable as any blubbering convict claiming his behavior was not who he is when evidence refutes that seven ways to Sunday. Mindless slags masquerading as soccer moms and nefarious best friends deserve better than this.

Oh boy! Another author that condones rape! Not only, the woman is a slut too! You're sick man!

"...The story is full of all the stereotypes that make porn infantile and primordial' (anonymous). Porn is always infantile and primordial; no problem with stereotypes, actually (stereotypes? cut and paste, really). A person simply cannot become an erotic writer just because he hates women and has infantile and primordial fantasies. .

Is this rape fantasy just another incling of a pitiful man with an inferiority complex?

Lot of people said it was rape. Not so with no refusal, and even driving to his house the second time. Mick knew from the DVD's and her husband that some of this was what she fantasised about. It was very borderline though with no clear consent to this arrangement beforehand.

Also, don't agree about abuse. Spanking, face slapping are very common in BDSM, as are people that get off on verbal humiliation and degradation. I will say that it was badly done in this story either because the author has no BDSM experience, or purposely writing it so because the character didn't have that desire or experience himself.

Story had promise, but was poorly written with bad grammar and punctuation. Also, only bad Dom's shout. Dominance is about control of someone else, and that means in control of yourself. Too much ranting at the woman with nothing positive. Ideal point would have been when he was admiring what she was wearing, but didn't express his thoughts. He could have used that to compliment her and tell her he was pleased with her for dressing in such a wonderfully sexy and slutty way for him.

He could then use this straight away or later on to push her even further if she really is so triggered by feeling demeaned. Play to her whore fantasy and push her clothing choice to something she would feel less like walking out in front of her neighbours in, but an outfit she could see a back alley street whore wearing as she drops to her knees to suck her first cock of the day for $20.

Too much bad mouthing ruined it for me.

A menacing Dom doesn't have to that sort of language.

You need to read similar stories before attempting to write again because that is all it was, an attempt.

hot and fast moving, but too violent and criminal ... the erotic parts are very good, but the blackmail parts ruin it