A Blind Date for the Holidays

"And yet, here you are fully dressed and ready to go." I glanced at myself in the mirror one last time as the truth struck me. "I'm not dressed for work. In fact, mom would say that I was dressed to impress. She'd mean a boy. I guess that means she'd be half right anyway."

It was far too early to call Billie, but my need to talk to her had been boiling in the background since I woke up and needed release soon. I grabbed my keys and put Billie's jacket on as I left my apartment. It really didn't go with the dress, but that was beside the point. I decided that it would be better to talk to Billie in person and since I was already dressed and ready to go, why not just stop by?

"Sure, just stop by while she's still asleep. That makes sense!" I started my car and left the parking lot before it was fully warmed up despite my logic and sarcasm. I needed to see Billie. I needed her to know how I felt. "It's either this or call her right now. This way, at least she gets a few more minutes of sleep."

"That's some logic!" I snorted to myself. The trip over went smoothly enough, which is to say I was so lost in thought and nerves that I didn't remember much of it. I parked in front of Billie's house and moved to the front door quickly. It was only once I got there that I paused.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The hesitation wasn't from any indecision on my part. I knew what I wanted. No, my tentativeness was more out of fear. What if I screwed this up? I'd certainly been making a mess of it so far. I rang the bell. I waited impatiently, but ended up having to ring it a second time before the door opened.

"I was expecting you last night." Janet's look was pure annoyance. She was wrapped in a blanket and look still half asleep. I guess I should have expected that she would stay over to make sure Billie was okay. She was that type of friend.

"I was going to call," I replied guiltily. "But I fell asleep and didn't wake up until this morning." Janet stepped aside and let me in Billie's house.

"Nice dress," my best friend smirked as I walked by her. I blushed, but didn't respond. Janet bought me the dress. She knew that I refused to wear it to work and why. "Billie will love it."

"Think it will help her forgive me?" The more time that passed, the more worried I was about her reaction to what happened.

"Not really," my best friend said more seriously. "But there's nothing to forgive. She knows that. Billie's not angry with you."

"But I hurt her." That earned me a frown.

"Yes, you did," Janet replied carefully, meeting my eyes. "And as much as I love you, if you're here to do it again, then please just leave. Billie deserves better."

"Yes, she does," I agreed, not looking away so that Janet could see how seriously I meant it. "I'm not going to hurt her, ever again if I can help it." My best friend nodded slowly, understanding.

"And your family?" Janet asked in concern.

"I'm still scared about how they'll react," I admitted. "But so be it. Billie means too much to me for me to give her up. In the end, it's that simple." My comment didn't surprise Janet. That didn't stop her from asking a follow-up question.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I answered, smiling briefly as I thought about my conversation with my mother from the night before.

"What?" Janet asked, reading my amusement.

"Mom told me that she knew I'd met the 'one' on our call last night. You know she has a sixth sense about this type of thing."

"What did you tell her?" I could hear the compassion in her voice. Janet was the only person in the world who could understand what I was going through because she was the only one who knew everyone involved.

"She wanted to know the name of the man who won her daughter's heart." I tried hard not to show how hard the conversation had been, but Janet was too good at reading me. "I told her that there wasn't a man in my life."

"You didn't lie," Janet offered, trying to comfort me.

"But I didn't tell her the truth either," I admitted glumly. "At least not all of it. She knew it too." I paused and shook my head. "It's going to make for a very interesting conversation on Christmas."

"You're going to tell your family?"

"I won't hide Billie from them." It would be up to them to accept her or not, to accept the real me. "I won't live a lie any longer." My best friend nodded and broke into a slow grin.

"In that case, give me that coat." Janet pulled Billie's borrowed leather coat off of me. "It will ruin the effects of that dress." She threw it over the arm of the couch, but not before grabbing my car keys out of the pocket.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," she retorted. "My family wasn't thrilled when I called and told them I was staying at Billie's tonight, but they understood. If I hurry, I'll make it in time for breakfast with mom and dad. My father doesn't usually go in to the office until ten these days. It's one of the perks of being a senior partner."

"But I need my keys to go to work."

"Please!" Janet snorted, throwing me my cell phone which she'd also taken out of the coat pocket. "You would never have worn that if you planned on going to work today. Text your boss now and tell him you're taking a sick day."

"But Billie..."

"...didn't schedule anything for this morning because of the party," Janet interjected, leading me toward Billie's bedroom. "You two will have plenty of time to talk...or whatever." I blushed, but refused to rise to her teasing.

"What if things don't go well?" It was a real fear despite Janet's confidence in Billie and I ending up okay. That didn't stop me from opening my work email app and sending my boss a quick email saying I was taking a sick day. It was the first since I'd been there and there was nothing major going on today so it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

"You can call me if you need a ride somewhere, but you won't." She then smiled in a way that let me know what she thought was coming. "I doubt Billie will let you out of the bedroom when she sees you in that dress." Janet opened the door just wide enough for me to slip in.

"I hope not." It came out softly, but heartfelt. Janet's eyebrows rose in surprise, but her smile grew as she hugged me briefly and pushed me into Billie's bedroom.

It was dark, but I could see enough to make it to the bed. Even still, I hesitated. I was beyond second thoughts by this point. That didn't make what came next any easier. Okay, it did, but it sure didn't feel that way right now.

The end table light snapped on, surprising me. Billie was leaning over with her arm reaching out to the lamp. She let go of the light and settled back into the bed as I watched. She had obviously woken up very recently, but she didn't seem surprised to see me. Her hair was rumpled, which was an oddity for her perfectly straight dark locks. Her eyes weren't all that puffy, but I knew she'd been crying and felt terrible about it.

"You're awake."

"That's what happens when someone rings my doorbell twice, even at this ungodly hour." I couldn't tell if she was annoyed or amused. "And then spends five minutes talking to Janet, some of it right outside my door."

"I'm not sorry." Oh, I felt bad for waking her, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. "We need to talk. Besides, I really wanted to see you."

"I'm not looking my best at the moment." She said, shaking her head. Billie was in a cute nightshirt that probably only went to midthigh. She looked pretty good to me, but I knew what she meant.

"I am sorry for that." I meant it more than I could ever explain. I moved toward the bed to try. "And you still look amazing." Billie accepted my complement without comment. That is, until she saw what I was wearing. Billie's dark eyes lit in interest as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Nice dress."

"I wore it for you." It was the truth after all. Billie almost smiled, almost.

"So, I take it that means you don't want to break things off?" I was momentarily stunned by her question, but not because it was unreasonable. It wasn't.

I was a mess when she left me the day before. Janet visit helped, but when my best friend walked out of my apartment it was to give me time to decide whether I was truly willing to accept Billie and the ramification having her in my life would bring. The first part was easy. I'd already accepted Billie, but that wouldn't have mattered if I couldn't face the rest.

I was betting Janet knew what I'd decide before I did. On the other hand, she wouldn't have told Billie without being one hundred percent sure. Even if she had, would Billie have believed her?

Still, despite all the logic in the world, I was still shocked by Billie's question. It took me a moment to realize what caused it. It was her verbalizing the possibility that we were done. It was the thought of Billie not being part of my life.

"Never." I made sure to meet her eyes as I spoke. "Billie, I am sorry for everything I've put you through. It's important you know that none of it really had to do with you. It was accepting what I'd learned about myself and getting past the fear of how it would affect my life." Billie was watching me as I spoke, but her face was expressionless. It scared me more than I cared to admit. That didn't stop me from continuing, but it wasn't easy.

"Right or wrong, us being together may cost me people dear to me." Billie had other friends like Samantha that had gone through the same thing so I knew she understood on an intellectual level, but her family sounded so different from mine that I'm not sure she got it deep down where it counted.

"I don't want that." I could tell she meant it. That helped, but in the end, there was nothing she could do about it.

"It is what it is," I shrugged, reaching out and taking her hand. "No one ever said life was fair." Billie started to say something else, but I used the fingers from my free hand to cover her lips. There was nothing she could say to make the situation better. All she could do was offer to leave my life and I refused to contemplate that as an option anymore.

"Remember the other day at the dance club, when I said no one falls in love in two weeks?" I asked, dropping my hand from her lips. "Well, I still believe that." She nodded slowly, understanding that I needed to finish what I wanted to say without interruption. "Only, what I didn't say is that I do believe in love at first sight."

That seemed to catch Billie off guard based on the startled look in her eyes, which meant this next part was really going to surprise her. I sure hoped it was in a good way, but at this point it needed to be said. "And that's exactly what happened to me on that silly blind date." I could see her shock, but there was something else there that made my pulse race. If I were reading her correctly it was the beginning of joy.

"Billie, I love you. I have since the first moment we met."

Billie's face blossomed into a gently smile. I can't describe the relief I felt upon seeing it. I pushed on, needed to say everything that needed to be said.

"I know my hesitation and craziness over the past few weeks were unfair to you. I'm sorry about that. They were me trying to accept myself for who and what I was. They were because I was, and still am, scared to death on how this will affect my family." I paused, shaking my head. "But the truth is as much as I fear that, the idea of losing you is worse."

"I understand if you don't feel the same way yet," I continued. "I just needed you to know how..."

It was Billie's turn to silence me, only she chose to do it with a kiss instead of her fingers. I have to admit that her way was much better than mine. I responded to Billie's touch the same as always, which is to say I lost track of everything as my insides melted.

"Never doubt how I feel about you," Billie said when she finally pulled away. "Unlike you, I never believed in love at first sight. At least, not until I met you." I'm sure my smile lit the room in way a lamp never could. It became even brighter when she added, "Trish, I love you too."

I don't remember who started the kiss this time, but it didn't matter. We spend the new few minutes in each other's arms. There was a feeling of bliss that I'd always dreamed of, but had slowly stopped believing in as the years passed.

"Stand up," Billie said, bring me back to myself.

"What?" I asked in surprise. "Why?"

"A couple of reasons," she laughed as I did as she directed. Billie sat up and shifted so that was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Not the least of which is that I don't want you to wrinkle that dress. You look incredible in it. I want you to wear it later today when we finally leave."

"What's the other reason?" I asked, licking my lips in anticipation. In answer Billie smiled and reached up, pushing the dress off my shoulders, slowly tugging it down my body. Her expression turned hungry once the dress hit the floor. So much for no wrinkles.

"I want you naked and in my bed." Billie pulled me close and reached behind me. She undid my bra and it joined my dress on the floor. I saw her swallow with some difficulty when my breasts came free. My nipples stiffened at the sight of her reaction.

Billie pulled my lips down to her and kissed me hungrily. I returned it with just as much passion before once more standing straight. Billie frowned until I moved just enough to make my breasts sway enticingly. That was all the prompting she needed. Billie leaned forward and buried her face between my heavy globes.

I shifted my shoulders and pressed my breasts against her cheeks. She obviously liked the feel of my soft flesh against her skin. I know I did. Still, it was only a few moments later when Billie kissed her way to my right nipple. I gasped and almost didn't notice when Billie used both hands to slip my panties past my hips.

"Why am I the only one naked?" I asked.It wasn't so much that I was uncomfortable being the only one without clothes on in the room as it was that I wanted to see Billie's body. She laughed and pulled off her nightshirt in one smooth motion. She wasn't wearing anything underneath.

Billie's chest wasn't nearly as large as mine, but it was shaped very nicely. Her nipples were just starting to stiffen and they called to me, but I was distracted from them by the rest of her incredible body. This was one of the few times I'd seen another woman naked. It was the first time I could do it guilt free.

"Based on the way you're looking at me, I'm guessing that this time you're not going to be the only one to get some relief." She was smiling to take the sting out of her words. It helped, but only a little.

"Hey, that was your fault!" I retorted, embarrassed. "You were the one who showed me what an orgasm was supposed to feel like. I had no idea! Can I help it if it caused me to pass out?" Billie smile widened, but she didn't comment. It made me pause and think despite my growing need.

I guess it was possible that someone still not sure of her sexuality might use a powerful orgasm as an excuse to pass out and not have to reciprocate, not that the thought of touching Billie bothered me. I mean, almost every time we kissed it ended up being so deeply that it felt like our bodies were bonded together. Still, that was different than touching her in a way that would grant her release.

I glanced down Billie's body. Her stomach was taunt without being overly muscular and her hips were shapely if narrower than mine. I was surprised to see a patch of dark hair between her legs. It was well maintained, but I hadn't expected it. I caught myself wondering if that was something she liked. Should I allow my hair to grow back down there? That made me smile.

Everything about Billie naked in front of me was enticing in ways I'd never felt before. I didn't think I'd avoided bringing her relief the last time. I really had lost control and passed out, but even I had, this time would be different.

Billie was still sitting on the bed watching me. I bit my bottom lip, wanting to give her something to see. I'd never touched myself in front of someone before, but Billie wasn't just someone. Seeing her this way, there was no denying that mom was right. Billie was my 'one', my soulmate despite how crazy that sounded. It was the only thing I hadn't out and out said yet, but that didn't mean I couldn't show her.

"Alexa, play 'Dance for You' by Beyoncé."

Billie mentioned that said she had Echoes all through the house. I was guessing that included her bedroom. I was proven right a moment later when the music began.

I started moving to it slowly, watching as Billie's eyes lit with interest and a touch of hunger. They locked on to my hips which made sense since I was swaying them gently. Her look gave me the confidence to continue.

I knew I was a decent dancer, but I'd never done it like this before. Never this wantonly and never for someone else's enjoyment. I ran my hands along my body and without dwelling anywhere particular. Still, Billie's eyes shifted to follow my movement. Her lips parted slightly and she licked them as my fingers brushed the undersides of my full breasts.

I hadn't intended to caress my chest, but the growing need in Billie's expression excited me in ways I'd never felt before. I lifted my breasts and separated them from each other as I squeezed gently. It felt surprisingly good. My own touch didn't typically get to me this strongly. Maybe it was because of the way Billie was looking at me.

I continued to touch myself, using one hand on my chest now while letting the other slowly drop down the length of my side and along the top of my thigh. On the way back, I caressed the back of my leg. I stalled briefly on my backside and began rubbing because it felt good. So good in fact, that I ended up biting my bottom lip gently to silence a moan.

The song continued to play and so did I. I was amazing that Billie was able to keep her hands to herself so long considering I was well within her reach, but somehow, she continued to sit on the bed and watch me. I would have been concerned if her nipples hadn't become small pebbles and her eyes weren't filled with her own growing need.

"Alexa, play 'Cater 2 U'." I hadn't even realized the song had ended until Billie requested the next one.

It struck me that this whole situation was so unlike me. Well, the old me anyway, but one of the benefits of accepting that my life had changed and would continue to do so with Billie in my life was that I was open to discovering more about myself. It made me feel oddly free and not nearly as old as my coming birthday had me thinking I was until this moment. I continued to dance.

I watched Billie as I shifted the hand not on my breasts to my pelvis. I moved it even more slowly than before, massaging in small circles as it inevitably made its way down and between my legs. I rubbed my inner thighs. The back of my hand brushed the outside of my lips and I moaned at how good it felt.

"Play with yourself for me."

I thought that's what I was already doing, but I knew what Billie meant. She didn't want to be teased any longer. Her voice was thick and hungry. I couldn't deny it. I slipped two fingers along my lower lips. I was so wet they slipped in easily. I also used my other hand to pinch my thick nipples, first one and then the other.

I felt my body burn with need as I watched Billie react to what I was doing. Between that and how it felt, I was amazed I was still on my feet by the time the song ended.

"Alexa, play 'Only a Girl'." Billie's eyes were ablaze as she requested yet another song, not waiting for the previous one to end. I loved what I was doing to her. The problem was that I couldn't take much more. I was starting to hate Alexa.

I didn't know this song, but as I listened, I understood. Billie wasn't being subtle in her song choice. That was good. I was way past the need for that at this point.