All Comments on 'A Brief Moment of Insanity Ch. 08'

This started out as really sexy story. Then you went completely batshit crazy and invented this long winded sci-fi writing that absolutely blew my mind. Exceptional job.

A quite amazing series of stories. Deeply thought out and cleverly interwoven. The sex scenes were hot. The fantasies well developed. Good job sir. I thoroughly enjoyed it

This is possibly the most convoluted, disjointed, cluttered, rambling, presumptive jumble of whatthefuck EVER. And that's doubly frustrating due to the fact that the dialogue is actually pretty serviceable in many places. It just overwhelmingly seems as though you sipped a little too much of your own egocentric Kool-Aid, when instead you should've been exercising and refining your descriptive scene-writing abilities. I'm pissed at you for the investment I've made up to this point, clinging to the hope of witnessing the writing getting better, a cohesive plotline- with FULFILLING CHARACTER ARCHS- being manifested, and my time being well-justified. Instead you simply wore me out. This is my dropout point; with what, ONE chapter left? You simply exhausted both my suspension of critical thought, as well my patience. A poor effort, shoddily executed, Author.

Q

put them in a blender, set it to puree, remove the lid, whatever lands on the sheet of paper is the story.

This is the first time I've ever felt strongly enough about a story on here to post a comment. This story is a colossal failure in spite of the tremendous amount of potential it had.

What started out as an Illuminati-type story of mortals has now seismically shifted to a fantasy story that includes elements seemingly randomly plucked from 17 different fantasy genres and various obscure sites on the Internet. I describe this as a seismic shift because it is anything but a smooth progression through the plot. There are gaping holes in the main storyline with no explanation given. The misspellings and misused idioms were frustrating at first but are now maddening. Sex scenes seem to be sprinkled in simply to occasionally remind readers that this is an erotic story.

In short, this might actually have potential as a book or book series, but only with a LOT of aggressive editing after a prolonged effort to fix the structural problems with this story.

I'm not sure whether you simply tacked on the first couple of chapters onto a convoluted fantasy story you had already written to try and give it a broader audience, but it didn't work for me. And I love comvoluted sci-fi and fantasy. I simply give up caring about the characters in chapter three, and then gave up caring whether or not I finished the story at all.

But, good luck with your writing. And don't forget about those weird past tenses.

This chapter made little sense, grossly deviated from the last chapters, had no continuity, and made almost no sense whatsoever. It seemed like you started this chapter without consulting your previous chapter, messed up, found your old chapters, and at the end tried to quickly patch it all up. ...and failed.

I've been hanging on, but, damn, I'm just not sure I want to continue wasting my time reading your stories.

Is there a story about aaron atwater named posession is 9/10th of the law. I couldn't find it in your list of stories on lit...

Time shifts and assorted characters are becoming harder to follow but possible with paper, pen and ruler. What is impossible is to determine why a character simply disappears. The character had a past and present; therefore, it should have had a future, even if that future was immediate death. 5 star series.