by fogbank
What a great setup! Can't wait for more chapters!
Thanks!
the past/present tense fell apart at the very end. Good story though. The ending just needs to be reworded and sured up.
nice set up... perhaps a bit longer..
hoping to read more..
keep going!
nice plot and i expect a better ending
in the coming chapters...
It is now time for you to bring it to resolution.
It's good, No it's great! Please carry on. Ronnie W.
who care what the others say man, your story rocks. hope you post chapter 2 soon. to good to end it.
having read chapters 1, 2 and 3 there still seems to be too many loose ends.Needs a chapter 4 !
great tease. comments below i hope are wrong - i hope you finished this. great story!