All Comments on 'A Double Standard 'Revisited''

You should have left the original story alone. Each reader could added their own ending as they saw fit or been pissed off at you for not finishing the story. But readers' memories are short and they would have forgiven you since you are a good storyteller. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Boyd

Find an editor. The revisitation was disjointed and illogical. It was topped off with a major spelling error. It's "THEN I took the pistol," NOT "THAN I took the pistol." Geez!

Split emotions here.

Can't say I'm ever a fan of the Macho "If I get violent it proves I'm a man" senero that alot of folks seem to want to throw around, but on the other hand you did take an "unexpected" dark path that showed some concequences for "both" their actions. Up till the death part I mean, and that was a new twist.

Can't give it an 100 because of the Macho violence (pistol whipping? Assult with a deadly weapon?), its deserves more than 50%, but I'd have left original story alone if it was me.

But either way, good story. But this is one story that more than likely could have been stand alone.

I normally like your writing, as dark as it is, but this one is strained and doesn't "ring true" like most of your works do. Harry isn't faced with a "double standard", but a triple one; he fucks around on his wife, but doesn't want her to have anybody else. However, he insists that she MUST have, and refuses to believe anything but the worst of her.

Sorry; the original ending, weak as it was, was better than this one.

what up with that?that what coward do, a man face his demons head on and not chicken out.you write like you got some coward in you.

Your stories are among my favorites, but this one doesn't work. Living well is the best revenge, dude!

First - Thanks for the conclusion Author - Your talent in this theme is among the very best and quite appreciated.

My feeling is that had you not been influenced by the outpouring of emotional comments and suggestions - this would have been a different story to some degree - perhaps not but how could it not be - unless it was already in the can - done!

Was your ending a probable - unlikely / was it a possible - most assurdly possible / had everyone thrown stones & been with some fault - of course.

The most heinous were real and perceptual - her's burned into his mind as not just revenge but the pass to screw locally and his friends and relatives. Strong disrespect close to home and possibly work. To Scorn! To Demean!

Dirty business all around and one in particular who was shamed by those close and supposedly trustable? His suicide was a way out and revenge on those left - not just to explain the why's but live with them - both the preceeding unspeakables and the gore that followed.

Uncomfortable and unpleasant does happen - read the paper - talk to a long time cop. Shit precipitates gore quite often when family offends - disrespects - because the pain is deep and other people know. But didn't care - enough.

You Author - provoke some deep and dark thoughts - our considerations and contemplations can be good as the consequences can be extreme and life ending. Thanks - With High Regard

the twist in the story,miriam's adultry, was pretty clever,and made for a very good story. however,the suicide finale was terrible.walking out and leaving her with nothing would have been much better.

this is the biggest flaw in this revisited chapter........

if the man commited suicide,how can he be telling the story???

I thought this wrapped it up very well. Miriam's vengeful nature was not mentioned in the first part, but that is only a minor quibble.

It does leave the husband with a bit of pride, whereas the first part seemed to be leading up to his humiliation and subservience. On that basis I score it highly - there are enough "wimp/cuckold/subservient husband" stories on this site already for those that like them, its nice to see new stories that take a different route.

Ok, readers I told you, you may not like the ending. You had 58 others to choose from. I could have him kicked out as many suggested. Or in my ending he could have killed anyone, wife? Steve? himself or just walked out. He figured his life was over no matter what he did. So he took the cowards way out but left a hell of a mess behind for his wife and bro-in-Law to explain and live with. I even gave you a little sex at the end.

In my original story I was thinking of doing two endings. One like this and one like many suggested. That's when I thought I'd let everyone writ the ending of their choice. Then of course I took the alternate route so we could have more debates.

Thank you for reading my stories, even though I'm getting pounded on this one.

DG Hear

I looked down and my security code was 3fff ouch!

The ending was dark and a little more twisted than what I enjoy but I loved the twist with the wife and the affairs. Let her whine and cry about his one night stands...I love your work and especially a new story of yours I read. It was fantastic.

of the original story; but did you even read it? That story and this ending were like two separate creatures sewed together. Now we find out that the wife is a manipulative, coniving, evil whore that has stabbed her husband in the back dozens of times?

Did you just print out the comments and choose the one that vilified the wife the worst and say, "I'll write my ending to match this one?"

You are one of my favorite authors, but I must say this is your worst effort.

I dislike your ending - not that it is not a viable ending because it is. I've known a few people that weak/ill/shattered so I can picture it. Having said that, I did not read into your ending that he was a man of such pride that thoughts of his friends laughing at him for years would destroy him. What could you have added to this that would have better set that up? I'm not sure you set up the ending as well as you could have. I've read everything you have published here and enjoyed it all but the flow on this was somewhat disjointed, I think.

No, please no! tell me you did not do it please. delete it please. From the site, from you pc. burn any printed copy. PLEASE.

this was un-needed. please undo. i know the compulsion. i have done it myself. but please undo.

the story was never meant to have a finish. please i beg you DELETE.

let the minds of the reader form the ending. delete, please

it is a classic. nothing more was needed. please please please DELETE.

You took a turn with this story that I never saw coming, congratulations. It was a very dark story and you executed it well.

...the gun jammed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't you just love a chalange?

Hey! It's your story. End it as you want. I don't like the suicide thing(i think its yhe greatest of all sins) but, in this story, it sure is a good revenge tactic.

I think you are the number one writer of this type of story. I might try some of your others.

Thanks

1

It's great to see a story with an ending where somebody gets offed, because in so many stories, a lot of the characters deserve it. I hate that "living well" bullshit canard. Aint possible for anyone with an iota of self-respect. We live in a feminized, wimp society where stubbing your toenail is considered a life crisis. In a real man's society, any cheating wife and the other man/men would be blown away with no questions asked.

And I hate this bullshit about a wife's and husband's cheating being the same. No way, Jose. A man is not emotionally different after, has not had anything put into his body, there are no bodily fluids in him and he can't get pregnant. Ya wanna' make it the same? Easy! Let the legal system put people, especially women, in jail for cheating.

An author with courage and creativity! I salute you.

Phil

Hey readers. The story is still a stand alone story. The revisit is opional. But I do love the comments. It gives all you nice people a chance to voice your opinions and let off a little steam. It's all right, I can take it.

Please still read my stories. There might be one you can agree with.

Thanks again for reading and commenting on my stories. By the way I gave myself a 50% for those who think I'm just trying to pile on numbers.

DG Hear

I liked the the story. But I really think Im going with H2OWader on this one.

DC

get when the author does not want to finish the story. It’s the readers’ fault for begging him to complete the story. Be careful what you ask for, DG has shown he will deliver. The writing god still plays with us; he amuses himself at our expense. A fan always

I like the way you twist things. I can only imagine how much fun it is to be a writer capable of doing these stories. It was a good effort and I like most of what you write. I liked this alternative and I’m glad you put out an ending though it is optional. If I don’t like a story I might tell you it wasn’t the best but I respect your writing. All I can say is keep doing what you want as I look forward to reading them.

dont we all have these thoughts sometimes

"Shit," exclaimed Miriam! "I told you we could get him to commit suicide. I just hoped it would have been in some ambiguous way that would have allowed me to collect the insurance. Oh, well, you win some, you lose some. Let's party!"

I enjoyed the whole story right up to the last line. How can he relate his story if he's dead?

With a ldifferent last line I could really believe this story for real

the ending sucked! I loved the way you turned it around on the other spouse because we expected that he was going to be toast! However, the timing of his analysis that she had been cheating all along during the marriage was suspect. So as he was rushing to confront Steve with a gun he was thinking about her failure to act on her knowledge of his one-night stands? There was no hint in the first story that she was a very vengeful person.

Also, as the person who had just been caught Harry was in a very weak position to be saying that she was a bad cheater and he was a good cheater. The only difference between a series of one-night stands out of town and a series of affairs at home is the nature of the excuses for the behavior. His excuse was that he was lonely (like a kid shoplifting in a candy store). Her excuse was that she was trying to humiliate him for his bad behavior (both real and imagined). Anyway, except for Miriam giving herself away his claims about her infidelity seemed self serving and unlikely. If she had been so good at pulling the wool over his eyes all those years why was she suddenly inept.

So we have a situation where both spouses cheated on the marriage and one spouse wants to end it. It is understandable that Harry was upset since she made it her mission to humiliate him in her cheating (she could have chosen strangers). But did he ever think that had he confessed about the one night stands in the begining they could have sorted this out before it got to this point. He knew how vengeful she was but he thought he was so clever that she would never know about these lapses.

The supposed rape and pistol whipping showed that Harry was not a good person and justified Miriam's treatment of him.

His suicide was stupid. His death while tragic can easily be explained as a reaction to being outed by the disclosure of his one-night stands. He rushed to his best friend, Steve for solace but the burden of these acts was too much for him to bear so he chose the easy way out. So much for his revenge on Steve and Miriam!

You are one of the best authors on this site. This story was an outlier among the outstanding offerings that you usually share with us.

SleeplessinMD

In my experience, suicide is an act of stupidity, not cowardice. The depressed mind is an impaired mind. A profoundly depressed individual is overwhelmed by any significant problem. A suicidal individual barely understands, much less feels cowardice or courage. There is only emptiness, darkness, despair.

(Ok, my experience is limited to suicide attempts. People generally don't relate their successful suicides.)

A minor nit. I don't think that Harry could have managed an erection for sex with Betty under the circumstances. But that's what artistic license is for :-)

This is odd, but I posted a positive comment to your "Double Standard - Revisited"

and it is not there today. I posted it last night.

I can't think of any reason for YOU to remove it. No profanity. No abuse to anyone, I

just gave you a "100" and said I concured with your ending. It is certainly possible.

During my darkest days (23 years ago) of the divorce/custody battle I never thought about suicide. Killing the ex.........yes, killing me? Nope.

Now, I am 60 and after taking Zoloft, Buspar, and 5 other mood changing meds, I found

myself thinking.....is this all there is? Why keep going? THEN.....somewhere in the

back of my mind I heard a voice screaming at me.....SEE THE DOCTOR, get off this

crap. And I did. I am much better now that I am off those meds, but at that time...

whew......scary. And I have it made. Retired, no money problems, all the toys I want

and a wife that is great. Even the kids are talking to me....so why in the hell would

someone with all that going for them EVER think about suicide????? Too weird for

me DG.......sooooooooooooo in summary, your story was good. Nice twist.

Take care......

It is strange that their marriage survived as long as it did with both of them dishonoring the other.

I confess to double standard living, but this illustration of it didn't bother me in the least. They were both stupid and equally guilty. His one night stands with strangers were just as hurtful to her as her more prolonged affairs with people whom he knew were to him. They both are stupid.

The only addition to your ending that I would add would be for Miriam to pick up the gun and off herself as well like the wife would be doing in my story Cheaters Never Win.

Great Effort DG

I look forward to your next.

What an ending. I liked it

I like to see an author try to keep from being predictable.

It was interesting, I enjoyed reading it and made me think... what more can I ask from a story?

Keep writing!

Don't listen to the moanings of the people that say you shouldn't write an ending, you should as you're one of the best writers of the site. I would still read others' endings anyway.

I generally don't like dark stories and like reconcilliation, but this was excellent. I could see him ending his life and causing her pain - pain of loss of income from his work, no insurance, etc. I could also see him causing her pain - pain of explaining to everyone why he did it, pain of being looked at as a slut, and pain of remembering how she lost her husband and her comfy life. Thanks again for another of your great stories, but please keep them coming.

It would be really difficult to face anyone he knew, and many he didn't know. What a humiliating postion he was in; that she had put him in. She fucked nearly every male that knew him.

He did seem to pretty much have two options. If he decided to stay with the wife he would have to quit his job, move them 1500 miles away and find another job.

Or do what he did.

His infidelities weren't known to her friends and family or anything like what she did to him. They affected her only; and their marriage.

However neither is blameless and you can't feel sorry for either of them.

chicken is person who run away from problem.that what webster says.what with the killing of one self,that not facing the true.you hurt only yourself and the one who love you and there was no one in the room who love him.they won the one who hurt you.

Maybe it is because I place such a high value on life. Shooting, maiming, perhaps, even killing through maiming and intended pain could be rational. Even were he to arrange his suicide so it would point at his wife or Steve, IT would make more sense. But to merely pull a trigger with a muzzle in your mouth does not punish or perhaps even negatively affect either, except for maybe splashing some gunky brain matter or other bodily debris on the culprits. So why would a person, so abused, so mistreated, so deliberately deceived, remove all possible forms of improvement to his condition in that manner, especially since he was so rational and so insightful up to that point. Now, if he could have gotten his wife's fingerprints on the weapon----

That was a most unlikely, sick ending.

The Double Standard was still there. His hands were still just as dirty. Why should she have to confront him when he knew he was in the wrong. He claimed he loved her but still had his one night stands? Bullshit. He was still a bastard. Then you had him take the cowards way out.

The story did'nt flow like the original. There was to much contrivance going on to set up Harry fucking his wifes sister.

The first version was much better.

Absolutely your best work. Killing himself is a little extreme, but a nice touch. Killing Steve then committing suicide also a tempting alternative. (zed)

Wow! Great unpredictable twist. Thanks.

It's rare that I find a DG Hear story that I dislike but I do not like this one. I'll say no more as I've nothing good to say about it.

As an author you have no standards. You have no "self-appointed right" to be dishonest with your reader. At no Place in "Double Standard" do you indicate the vindictive nature that you attribute to Miriam. You simply, off the cuff, write it in to your sequel as an excuse to produce some porn. That is not being honest with your reader or yourself. You have a long list of material that I have now decided to ignore, and I hope that some of your other readers of these two stories find the same dishonesty that I do and feel you are not worth reading any further.

The old french roulette or it maybe a squirt gun i bet he didnt kill himself it was to scare them .

Pat

Atlanta,Ga

You should have left this story without a sequel. The ending was completely unsatisfying, a coward's way out. I thought he was a stronger man, a reasonable man, and then you fucked it up with the ending. Now that's what I call a wimp.

Well, the author finished the story. My somber concluding comment is that the four total losers all got what they deserved.

I think the first story was good. But the second story really strains belief. The wife, Miriam, who was smart enough to notice the missing gun and divine her husband's intent, was not smart enough to call the police to her sister's house despite the expectation of violence? Give me a break. Harry is a piece of work. His pistol whipping of Steve makes no sense. If it's OK to get nasty and threaten to kill someone who had an affair with your wife, then Harry should already be dead, or at least he should have been taught a physical lesson by the husband who had him 'dead-to-rights' while he was on one of his trips. Instead the wronged husband just told Miriam and sent pictures.

Why not use cyanide instead of shooting yourself its more quicker.

I am sorry that not just a few took issue with your ending. As the writer in a work of fiction, you get to end it your way!!!I agree with your ending! It fit the story well! All but the sister had equal ammounts of guilt in my view. You dont have to agree with all the aspects of a story to like it. Plus, you need to consider your own morality before you judge others Keep up the good work D.G., at least one of us enjoys it!!!........richard

spirits. You did this time also with the words...I pistol whipped him again just because I wanted to. ...No I'm not kidding. It's great to read someone who admits to having feelings, not that I would ever really do it...(i think) It's good to know that another human being has the same feelings as you do. It makes you seem like part of others , even tho you are somewhat of a recluse because you figure people in general are stupid ( yes I said it) Anyway thanks again..this time for being honest...nyminus@yahoo.com

That story from first part sounds boring and a mood lover hard. I read today few your stories and was cerious how it ends. But the new end is fucking awesome!. I didn't feel shame use that words. Shit :-) We are adults and a whole here is nothing more like erotic stories sometimes rated H.

That story I enjoy well, not so much vulgarity and great story line. Better than introduction part.

It's mine english clear? :-) I use it only to read the stories ;-)

too drastic to be real. He detached himself from her when he started to fuck around, she clearly did the same. Goodbye would heve been more realistic while closing the door on his way out. G.Belgium

Hard to believe a fine writer like DG Hear wrote this piece of garbage. I guess even the best sometimes write real losers.

the Ct. Yankee

The only way to really end this loser, is for the other three one after the other to blow their brains out.

What you proved in your very strong ending is that first and above all you write FICTION – stories, and not moral essays. Yes, in the background all stories are informed by the same dilemmas we all struggle with (or else the story would not speak to us). But when push comes to shove - the most important features in a story are those that make it seem alive -that the characters seem as if they are a unique couple with their particular traits habits and weaknesses - the way only spouses can know each other. And boy, did you press this very point home! <P>

At the end, I believe, the main message of the story was that in each couples life, the main problems and the way they resolve or deteriorate, isn't so much about general gender profiles. At the end - it's the unique universe each couple creates for itself. As you have shown -appearances to the outer world could be very misleading, and with enough outside intervention even the partners can forget who their partner really is... But here the husband reconstructed their history and realized that people can't really change their basic temperament. <P>

This was a brilliant narrative not only in terms of the angle it chose to focus on, but just as much in terms of its artistic qualities. I can't remember the last time I have 'endured" that many twists and surprises in one story - all carried out with sound explanation. <P>

Yes, I too did not like the particular ending the husband chose. But I doubt it was meant to please anyone. That’s beside the point. The relevant question is was it an organic outgrowth of the previous developments? I have no problem seeing it as at least one very probable ending. <P> All who argue against this ending on moral grounds simply miss the point. This is NOT a moral essay. Fictional characters like the husband’s, DO NOT - at least not automatically - represent the author’s view on conflict resolution, or anything else fot that matter…. Trust me on this one! <P>

A reminder: from the start the explicit premise of the story was the moral imperfection –at least of the husband. The husband/narrator acknowledges as much. He did not beat himself in the past for his straying, but when confronted, he was willing to change his ways. Not a saint and not a monster. <P>

As far as the emotional reaction associated with his final revenge - it is highly doubtful that this kind of a decision was a product of cold premeditated plan. Rather, it was a desperate reaction to the discoveries which were unfolding - one on top of the other, way beyond his initial suspicions. Eventually he simply lost it. <P>

Now we can simply sit and judge its "appropriateness" from the convenience of our detached position as readers. Our subjective emotional reaction may be inevitable as it is irrelevant to the quality of the story. For sure, it’s one of the luxuries that reading fiction affords us. Great job DG!

I dont believe in suicide but this gives the two women and the asshole something to explain to the police, their families, and thier children. Personally I would have preferred he take the younger sister and leave the other two to themselves. The wife was a real piece of work, pure out and out trash.

i liked the story and her personality made a difference, suddenly it made it more likely. THEN it turns out she is lonely and just going after those others? the net effect is the same, affairs with harry's 'friends'. so much for the victim status for her. THE ENDING i quibble with. are those people wirth dying for? i think not. her 'guilt' versus being the poor widow with the marital assets? harry should have just left them all, even with the financial things with divorce. no one [except betty] was seeminly w/o fault, but his death was unnecessary.

I saw the ending coming way ahead. The only thing he did was possibly get himself some relief. His wife could recover and they could tell whatever lie they wanted. She could even still do Steve? I don't see any real final revenge here. Maybe I'm blind. He was a hypocrite and he and his wife deserved each other. Staying alive and tormenting each other would have been more of a revenge.

the only part that was remotely good was that he didnt trust that she never got any kind of revenge during all the yrs she knew what a man whore he was. it was going good until you got to the vengeful part because in no way did you portray her in that light in your first chapter. it made sense though, i mean think about it, if she knew about for yrs adn yrs, why didnt she say something? why wait till its thrown in her face? in case anyone is wondering, yes, there is a double standard and yes, people are quick to dish out advice but rarely listen to it. i mean fuck, we all know what a bastard he is but it stands to reason the moment he knew the gig was up, he would have tried to minimize the damage, by leaving his job, moving, etc if he wanted to stay married. and the whole dirty whore of a wife scenario seemed a bit much, along with killing himself, wtf was that shit? in a way, that was letting them win because he offed himself. the best revenge is to move on with his life by finding someone better and having a loving life. of course, thats after beating the shit out of wifeys lover and banging some chick just so he can rub it in her face.haha

You telegraphed the ending well ahead of doing it. No sane man kills himself, it would have been much easier to gut shoot all of them then kill himself. No woman is worth what this man lived thru. Take Houston, if you divorce a bitch you have roughly 2 million women to chose from, why get upset over one........

He should have send letters to his family explaining his motives.I do not condone suicide, but thinking all of his friends are laughling behind his back...it´s too much!Hey DGHear, you could do an aftermath, with him surviving the shoot, after 2 years of coma.

OH! where is "the rest of the story?"

Hypocritical bastard shoulda killed himself before he reproduced.

I hope he left plenty of bullets in the gun, so the three of them could replicate his stupidity.

A permanent end to a temporary problem.

Well...if anyone had to die you chose the right one. What an egotistical, selfish, arrogant bastard. So what if the wife and brother in law had a long running affair. Harry is the one who started it all with his philandering ways. The revenge his wife got was after the fact. OK, so maybe she had some adulterous fantasies about her brother in law bouncing around in her head, and OK, so after realizing her "faithful" hubby wasn't going to change his evil ways so she callously decides to get even and ends up going "all the way". Tough fucking shit for good ole Harry. He is the cheating bastard who started it all. Would Mariam have given in to her secret lust for Steve if Harry had been half the man you want to portray him as. Who hasn't looked at a sister or brother in law and felt some erotic twinges. Mariam was just looking until Harry proved his unworthiness. He's a rotten fucker who is lucky his wife decided to cheat on him for revenge instead of taking his lying ass to the cleaners years ago. No sympathy for Harry from me. You make your bed, now lay in it, or in this case, your coffin.

I suppose the gun didn't go off since he couldn't then have written the story.

Very nice - totally predictable about half way through - but very nice.

It is a very thought provoking series of ideas -

1. Is there any difference in what the husbands and wives did?

One husband was a dishonorable schmuck - he cheated he was dead wrong - but it was almost guaranteed to never put the wife in a compromising position or subject her open humiliation (almost guaranteed)

One wife took, felt betrayed and betrayed her spouse in return. In an act of revenge (a personal attack on her mate) and held the husband up to ridicule by fucking his friends where it would be seen by all.

One husband betrayed his wife and best friend and took advantage of a vulnerable and vengeful woman who was also his friend and used her for his pleasure for years - humiliating the friends his wife and exposing himself as having no honor.

One wife accepted the betrayal by her husband and her own sister, got past it even if harboring anger and resentment. She "allowed" herself to be used and got her revenge only when forced to.

I see only one person with any integrity in the whole group

2. What did the "solution" do?

It places all the survivors in the position of dealing with his actions while he ran away and hid in the ultimate fashion. He abandoned the only quality person in the group to survive this in the middle of the other 2 low lives.

So on top of all his other shining qualities he was a coward.

NEAT I do like the way you write - good writing provokes thought, controversy, conversation and challenges the reader. The responses suggest you did just that good work

Thanks

For the bravery of adding suicide to the story.

It was a bit contrived. I can't see Betty being able to do that. Scared women are dry. If she was scared, she wouldn't be able to perform.

Also, I can't believe Steve didn't try something. Running. Fighting. Nope.

Additionally, they were 50 for god's sakes! Betty would not go into details of 'Miriam was saying 'Fuck me, Steve, fuck me.' as a character. She would say, as a discrete woman of a certain age "I caught them in an intimate moment together and we had a huge argument."

So fewer points

It is the author 'gotcha'. Best mocked in 'Murder by Death', it discussed how mystery writers of a certain era brought in some person from far left field who didn't get introduced until the last second to fill in for the murderer. The reader never got a chance to figure out the mystery because the facts were withheld from their analysis.

No. Miriam's propensity for vengence blindsided me. In no way was I expecting that, so the story seemed to be made of the whole cloth. I was waiting for the aliens next. (Just kidding, but you get what I mean)

I didn't have a chance to figure out the story because I wasn't given enough facts. Not that guessing a story should be a goal. But adding character elements at the last moment breaks Suspension of Disbelief with me, in the same manner that having a nice demure, religious, serious mother of three suddenly, at the glimpse of a Big Black Cock, suddenly becomes Slutzilla.

This was nowhere near as bad, but it wasn't good.

For him to shoot himself, rather than find and enjoy something away from them. Steve'sgot his own 2x standard. Better to just go away with betty and start anew as he may.

Hate for yourself, hatred for others. A very selfish act. I would never commit suicide unless I was clinically depressed, at least that is what I think now.

I did like the story. I did not read the first part because the writer said there was little sex. I have had enough trauma today.

I would like you to come up with a better ending than this. This was lame.

And I just made a comment on the first part of you story. Not fair that you waited to paint Miriam as a whore too. Your choice DG. I give up. I suppose the House Republicans will change their pledge as well... Can't count on anyone to not talk out of both sides of their mouth when spinning a story...Huh?

Seriously what the point if Harry killing himself. It not revenge with suicide. Also he the one who cheated first. If he cannot accept she cheating on him what about her accepting he cheated on her for 30 years.

Also it only count as revenge if someone did something to you when you did not deserve it. In this case Harry did deserve it. If he wanted to kill himself then goes for it, but the one who ruin everyone lives is him. In the end he only prove he a coward, a rapist, unfaithful husband, and an asshole. He never deserve a wife like mariam

I wont be coming

back so don't hold your

fucking breath

You know what you've

done no need to go in

depth

I told you, you'd be sorry if

I fucking left

Id laugh while you wept

Hows it feel now, yeah,

funny ain't it, you

neglected me

Did me a favor although

my spirit free you've set

But a special place for you

in my heart I have kept

It's unfortunate but it's

Damn.... Well that uhhhhh..... Damn.... Right over my head.... Just damn.... I hope my life never gets that weird.... I mean shit, wow, damn, and I don't know why but I burst out laughing reading this part. Anyway great writing keep up the interesting work.

I won't say it was twisted end, because the flow and sense of the story pretty well dictated something wasn't right with Harry. As the author, you might not have consciously been aware of how it was going to end, but I bet you had a good inkling. Anyway, it was a surprisingly enjoyable read.

He is a salesman and the most important thing is his self worth and bravado. He finally gets what he wants but it is of no value to him as he will be divorced with no family to come home to each night. He will still be laughed at, although every day now instead of half of the time.

Excellently written flawed character.

always do it with style and grace. TK U MLJ LV NV

He did the correct thing for revenge but I think if I was going to kill myself I would have killed Steve and Miriam first. I guess they will be shamed before the police and their children so maybe this way was best. This punishment is probably best.

No way they would have confessed. In any event, it was good that he killed himself since is was criminally insane.,

she locked herself out of her motorcycle

The suicide is a stupide thing. He is an older man he should divorce his wife and look for a merry widow an same older divorced lady etc. The best revange a newer mate instead of the earlier.

Talk about twists! I loved it and am damn glad I read it.

I found it hard to reconcile the fact that the story was told in the past tense, but the narrator killed himself at the end of it.

PAY OFFS WORSE, AND THEN YOU DIE. TK U MLJ LV NV

Jeez that was a hell of an ending I still stand by comments from chapter 1. Harry was still the asshole. He cheated, Miriam got revenge by doing the same. He couldn't stand that he was a cuckold but didn't care what he did to Miriam. So he took the next step. HE BLEW HIS BRAINS OUT.

Typical coward jerkoff asshole.

The world is better off without him.

FUCK

Your ending was much more dramatic than mine... lol. That's what makes stories interesting and that's why you're a writer and I'm not. Plus, hey, the ending lived up to the title.

This story is now twistier than a tornado. Cannot say I liked it, but it IS interesting. Re: Anon who points out that a suicide wrote the story after blowing his head apart, two comments...did the tale sound like someone with a brain wrote it? (lol) ... And, have you never heard of a 'ghost-writer?'

What a doofus.

Not interesting. Not entertaining. Not, not, not.

Writer just had brain cramps; twisted brain cramps.

"The ultimate revenge." That's just a buntch of shit .Fuck !!!

To fucking funny - yup perfect ending for the posers out there heh

Flawed - of course they just lie about why he did it - not risk at all -

BUT did you get the readers back - yupper shore diid lol

The good old suicide card trumps 'em all; problem is, you can't play it very often...

First of all, Calm the Fuck Down People. IT'S A FUCKING STORY!!! And not far fetched at that. I thought it was really good. Keep on writing!

I'm not sure how it constitutes revenge, raping a woman at gunpoint until she asks for it, then blowing your head off afterwards. Nobody's gonna feel sorry for the cheating bastard and rapist, let alone a cheating slut.

and now it will never be. TK U MLJ LV NV

you are harsh. love it. 5

I got it wrong on my first comment. Re-reading the tale I realised the wife cheated with everyone and while the husband had one night stands while away at work, she cheated with all his friends and brother-in-law.

There is no varying degrees of cheating but my first comment only condemned Harry and not his wife. I correct that now in saying they were both cheating assholes but now only the wife has to explain to the kids why their father killed himself.

Don't cheat

I love a story with a happy ending. But I love a story with a sad ending better.

I like this sad tale.

LMAO the best line in the story is "I pistol whipped him again just because I wanted to." The guy just went power mad. The players in this story were a sad sack. Man whores, woman whores unfaithful POS that should never have got married.

Wanderingaimlessly

The open ending of the original story may have left loose ends dangling, but this frantic 'tidying up' strangles the narrative and leaves every character diminished.