All Comments on 'A Double Standard'

Another great story by you. I admire your honesty. Miriam should dump him.

Boyd

keep us guessing!!

but then she shoulda dumped him years ago and didn't......

but as for the story, what does HIS reaction to cheating have to do with HER choice? nothing, people are different. some forgive, some don't.

as for the gun, i was wondering if he was gonna shoot steve - or want eat the gun himself?

it sucked because you didn't finish it. Whats up with author's not finishind stories these days. The main reason why i don't read stories from (just plain bob) is because he always leaves them unfinished.

your story you finish it.

And I say dumphim. Nowadays, screwing around can kill the innocent party.

The situations may be similar, but they are very different, assuming she had been telling the truth.

He chose people neither of them knew and he would never see again. He thought he was keeping it from her and that would spare her any pain.

She chose her sister's husband, someone they would be expected to see regularly. She chose to put her sister in the same position her husband had put her. She chose someone trusted so if he ever found out, the pain would be multiplied by ytwo betrayals, as it was when she told him. She added the blackmail attempt which would pour flames on the fire if he felt protective of her. She did it to punish and intentionally hurt him at a later time of her choosing, potentially for maximum infliction of pain.

This is what it looks like if her story had been true. Her action were intentionally hurtful, his merely grossly selfish and thoughtless. That doesn't give him a pass, but it makes his decision sufficiently different from hers that nothing applicable can be learned from it that applies to her decision.

She knew of his affair and had all the time in the world to figure out whether to forgive him or not. He had one day to make that decision.

I'd say she had pretty much decided to leave him regardless. Could she realistically expect him to internalize that info so quickly? Yeah, he had a bunch of one night stands. She (as far as he knows) had an ongoing affair with a family member and friend. That implies some sort of emotional intimacy, an attachment with someone he would see at family gatherings. Difficult.

Given that, I don't see it as a double standard. I would expect the same (general) ending as was in the story if their roles were reversed. Yeah, no gun and not wanting to beat the crap out of the brother-in-law (Now THERE is a double standard!).

Bottom line is she would have a pretty good idea of how he would react. What if he had beat her to the brother-in-laws house and he shot Steve? What if he had eaten his gun? Are those possiblities (not certainties but certainly possible) something she was prepared to live with? Of course she could have had the same feelings when he cheated on her, which is one good reason why he should not have cheated. But the past is gone, she made a decision today and has to live with all possible outcomes.

The only way I could see them staying together is if he went to her in her time frame and said, "I forgive you but we have to sever all ties with this area and the family." Even assuming she tells him it was just a test, there would always be that niggling doubt. Think of Aussie Bard's "The Phone Call." He would always wonder.

Nice story, well written. It was definitely thought provoking! A fresh look at the issues.

"Miriam looked at me and said, "Harry, yesterday you had the choice to save our marriage and was unable to come to a decision. Well, Harry, I'm making the decision for us both now. I choose that we . . . ."

"stay together and try to heal our marriage...starting now. However, I will no longer tolerate your cheating and your indecisiveness. But I shall stay here with Barb and Steve until cooler heads prevail and I'll see you at home later in the week. I looked at Miriam with a reflective glance and recalled all the many years we had together and said, "you know me too well Miriam, otherwise you would not have been here.... you know that I never meant to hurt you... that they were all faceless affairs with strangers that were always kept at a distance and never involved any love from my heart... and yes, I agree there is a double standard....but you put a face to your affair...or shall we say to your lie... in all our years together, you have never lied...but this lie almost jeopardize Steve's life because of his supposed blackmail... It put me through hell last night and this morning...your lie broke all my trust I ever had in you....and in Steve and in Barb...no, I believe our marriage is dead...I know my friendship with Steve and Barb is dead...so rather than both of us trying to save a dead marriage....let us part amicably...perhaps you should have had your affair with Steve". Miriam's anger now flared realizing her marriage was all but over, "how do you know we didn't". "I thought so", and point blank quickly aimed my gun at Steve's forehead and shot him dead. " I figgered so, you have never lied to me before...why would you lie now"...and I left the shocked sisters scrambling to assist Steve. I went home quietly t to wait for the police, nursing a final drink and remembering to make sure I called my boss about turning down that promotion.

"Wait," I said. "You had time to think about the situation, but I only had overnight to absorb the shock. And my cheating, though terrible, was with strangers, not someone you knew or were ever likely to meet. I was confronted with having to regularly face the man who I believed cuckolded me. That's why I came over here--to see if I could stand that."

"I don't accept that," said Miriam. "If you loved me, if you wanted to stay with me, you should at least have said that you hoped that we could stay together.

"My decision is irrevokable," she continued, her voice cold and flat. "I even have the divorce papers here." She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. "This is it, the end of our marriage, and there is nothing you can do to stop this divorce now." She held out the envelope to me.

"Actually," I said, tearfully. "There is. I am devastated I hurt you so awfully and that I got us in this terrible mess, but I realized on the drive over here that I can't live without you."

My hand was already in my pocket, wrapped around the butt of the revolver. I pulled it out and put the barrel in my mouth as I thumbed back the hammer...

Once a cheater always a cheater.

if I have all this correct. We have a husband who has proven he has no ethics or morals. Over a period of years, he has broken every marriage vow he ever made, cheated on his wife, lied to her, squandered their future security by spending their money on other women, put her health and welfare at risk by having unprotected sex (I did use condoms most of the time), and last but not least, grabs a gun to deal with their problems. WOW, why would any woman ever want to lose a man like this, they don’t come any better. Anyone would have to be three kinds of a fool to purposely do anything that would potentially upset a distraught man with a gun, like telling him you want to get a divorce. Wouldn’t that be like playing Russian roulette?

And he deserved it.

Great Story! You, "Just Plain Bob" and "HardDaysKnight" are about equal in your ability to spin believable stories that are quite hot.

I think Harry needs to be tied down while Miriam gets a dose of "in his face" revenge sex. Miriam needs to find out how many new partners Harry has had - and them match that number in the form of "rubbing in" how badly he'd screwed up.

It probably won't help Harry and Miriam's marriage any - but damn, _I'LL feel better!

There is at least a double standard--actually even more than two.

Of course a lot depends on whether the male is only a male or whether he is a man.

Your male character was only a male who has the mistaken idea tha having an appendege makes him a man.

I get feedback besides the comments. I will post them if they apply to the story so you can see more reactions. I will not post any names. Giving the commenters their privacy.

Thanks for commenting DG Hear

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I enjoyed reading your story and the honesty that was put into it. your right there is double standard, doesn't make much sense but it's there. about 10 years ago I read an article done on couples where one of them was caught cheating and the effects it had on their marriage. In the study they found that 7 out of 10 marriages survive when it was the husband who cheated but only 3 out of 10 marriages survived when it was the wife. There was no clear reason why the difference in which spouse did the cheating mattered so much it just was. My husband's first marriage ended because she cheated on him, I have a close friend that I helped (as much as I could) deal with her marriage ending after 20 years for the same reason.

I've learned one thing unless you have gone through it yourself you have no clue how you will deal with it. Regardless of what you believe you know without a doubt what you would do, it doesn't mean crap. The "if it happened to me" verses "it did happened to me" makes a big difference.

Again thanks for another good story, I've read quite a few of your and enjoy your writing and look forward to reading more.

What a wonderful way to end a story and get positive feedback. I love it. If it were my story and since I am such a sucker for happily ever after, they would stay together and get marriage counseling and private counseling for his little extra marital activities. If it were my husband, I'd celebrate all the way to divorce court but hey...that's just me. Great job, I really enjoyed it.

At least in how most stories on this site play out.

If the wife cheats, there are a certain number of standard scenarios that authors seem to use. The most common seems to be willing cuckold. Then there is the "reconciliation". Divorce and moving on is a rare theme, as is outright revenge (though there is more of the latter than the former).

Now, if the husband cheats. Most common theme seems to be the wife goes out of her way to get revenge. Note the difference? Majority of "cheating husband" stories involve the wife getting even. Majority of "cheating wife" stories involve cuckoldry or reconciliation. At least, that's what I've observed. Less common for "cheating husband" are cuckold wives or reconciliation - and I don't count "wife gets revenge then they move on" as genuine reconciliation stories.

Double standard? You bet. In that cheating husband stories more often than not feature gits who treat their wives in an awful fashion, who finally face "justice". Cheating wife stories, on the other hand, either feature sluts who married wimps (OK, maybe not wimps, maybe they just have a fetish about voyeurism or masochism) or wives who "just made a mistake" and have husbands more forgiving than Jesus.

Not that I'm being critical, though I'd like to see more balance in the character types presented in these "cheating spouse" stories. Just calling them as I see them.

Hi, she should devorce him there and then,but deep down she

only wants revenge.She should kick him out,but have him

tailed to his new abode,he should be made to suffer,by having Photos sent by the P.I. to him showing her flings.

Then after a time the Brother in law comes to him and see,s

if he wants his wife back.

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Hi. Loved the story. You know, part of why a double-standard exists is women's own fault. We have been taught almost since birth that men have needs and if we (wives) aren't fulfilling them, they'll seek fulfillment elsewhere. Well, what happens when you (wife) do everything you possibly can to fulfill his needs and he still goes and gets it from someone else? We're taught to forgive and forget. Remain faithful to our vows no matter what! I know my husband would never forgive me IF I ever did have an affair. And he'd probably kill the man, me or both. And yet, my husband is away from home all the time. Long haul. I have no idea what goes on...but I trust. So I just fell into the double-standard set-up. IF he has, do I forgive and forget? Would he? I know for a fact he would not, so why should I? Leaving the ending as you did was amazing, insightful and thought provoking. K.

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Personally, I think women should have enough respect for themselves to not allow themselves to become living doormats. This old idea of "me man, you woman, so shut up and close your eyes to what I'm doing to you" is destructive to the woman's self-esteem.

DG

Your a wicked bugger. I thinking something about a Cat and some Pigeons.

What's the plan get them at each others thoughts?

I assume that sometime in the future you've got an ending lined up. You could pull a fast one and drop alternative endings on them. Hey, didn't someone do a story the other month with several different endings.

Anyway I'm not going to play your little game. I told you I'm a miserable old bugger. (Well not for a while anyway.)

Come on what you got for us next?

PS loved the story.

ass. He fucked around on her all those times, many times without protection. And he was ready to threaten and possibly shoot the one guy she was having an "affair" with? Oh yeah, he needs to be slam-dunked into the garbage can.

You have given a good story with an interesting twist. The point I believe you missed is that the husband was having sex with strangers, not friends or relatives. I do not think the husband wanted to hurt his wife. As stupid as he seems for risking his family I think what she told him she had done is worse than what he had been doing.

Many stories have double standards. You can argue that this is one, but I believe the imaginary hurt he got from her was worse than he had given her. I do NOT condone what he has done, and should be hoisted on his petard, but I don't think the story is a black and white as you have painted it.

This is a question that has been asked innumerable times. I my opinion there are two answers. There is the Literotica answer and the real life answer. In the world of Literotica the majority of the recent stories about cheating are, for the most part, written by men. They usually involve a cheating wife and the husband is almost always the smarter of the two. These stories usually end up with reconciliation. The few recent stories about cheating husbands are usually written by women and the wife is almost always the smarter of the two. Cheating husband stories usually end in divorce. It appears that in Literotica world women authors think a cheating husband should be kicked out while male authors think that a cheating wife should be given another chance and the union saved. These are of course just my observations and certainly not any sort of empirical evidence. I suppose they could be verified if someone wanted to invest the time necessary to skim every such story.

In real life, statistics seem to paint a different picture. Marriages in trouble because of a cheating wife are less likely to survive than marriages that include a cheating husband. The only reasonable conclusion is that there is a very obvious double standard. The implication is that we men can’t handle it when the shoe is on the other foot. Just like our man in this story. On the whole I think this is a fair assessment. Women are at their most vulnerable at that moment when they seek to end a relationship. The majority of the physical injuries that women suffer are at the hands of their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, or lovers. One only has to read the comments made about cheating wives stories to realize how ill equipped most men are to handle a strong woman let alone an unfaithful one.

Is there a double standard? Absolutely. Actually there appears to be two divergent double standards; the one here in Literotica world and the one in the real world.

So, what should our fair maiden do? In my opinion she should dump him. Why should she bother to try to make it work? He is a serial philanderer and when it came to show what he was really made of, he failed the test. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and she should move on. I realize that these are fictional characters but I would give the same advice if they were my neighbors.

THESE STORIES ARE UNEROTIC AS THEY COULD POSSIBLY BE, UNLESS YOU THROW IN SOME DEAD KITTENS TO THE MIX.

But these comments are even more fun!

Thanks for sharing the ones that were posted privately to you and for respecting the privacy of the commentors.

I suspect that I'm a lot older than most if not all of the commentors. I was born and raised in an age were men were actively taught that it was their responsibility to take care of women. It is interesting to look back and see that this kind of "taking care of" did not extend to fidelity and other forms of emotional support, but rather to the mechanics of food, shelter, clothing and security.

The really important issues of emotional health encompassing ego, pride in self and accomplishments, pride in offspring and their accomplishments and the deep satisfaction that can only come from an intimate sharing of both hopes and fears and, believe it or not, bodies, was left out of most formal conversations about the "birds and the bees".

Women, in general, simply "filled in the gaps" and have provided their men with that much needed emotional support and men, in general, have come to rely on it, I suspect without realizing it. . . at least until that emotional support is somehow threatened.

In recent years the feminine movement has highlighted a few things.

1. Women want and need an opportunity to experience the feelings, good and bad, that come from building careers that classically provided the mechanics of food, shelter, clothing and security and most have proven they're damn good at it.

2. Having demonstrated a willingness and ability to share in the mechanics, women are demanding, and deserve, equal support in the provision of emotional health as well.

We men are just very, very slow to adjust! We justified our infidelities and our straying from emotional intimacy because, most of us at least, were taking care of our basic responsibilities and our women needed us to do that.

Not any more!

We have been all too slow to keep up with the social changes that engulf us BUT we are, I believe, in process!

Some of us have adjusted faster than others. We realize that women are equal but different. (Vive le difference!)

In the meantime the double standard around the resolution of emotional issues that has always existed has just become more obvious and it's men who are having the hardest time adjusting just now!

Keep in mind;

Life will go on! The sun will come up tomorrow, just like it did today. What ever pain and hurt you feel will fade in time. (Someone should write a story about all these classic lines!)

Men, again, in general, have never been good at handling emotional pain and now we'll have to learn . . . and we can . . . and we will. . . It's just going to take us a while!

First, lets forget the wife made up the revenge affair mainly because the husband didn't know that it was made up.

Right or wrong, the husband didn't have x-sex to hurt the wife. The wife DID have x-sex(see first sentence) to hurt the husband.

The husband was too stupid and incensitive to realize the hurt he would cause his wife when he was found out.

The wife knew full well of the pain that her x-sex(see first sentence) would cause the husband.

The inlaws suck because they never attempted to talk the wife out of the revenge thing.

I don't see any good guys and bad guys here, only incensitive,stupid,and vengefull people. the marriage should have been over two years ago.

I guess the double standard thing is in the eye of the beholder.

I agree and disagree with saw_man1.

I agree with his observations of how the Literotica site seems to work. That the majority seems to work that way. Thats why I personally prefer stories where if reconcilation is going to happen its after the husband gets some self respect first.

But I disagree with saw_man1 thoughts on how society works with double standard. To me in saying that, means that everyone feels that way. I disagree because I can only speak for myself and others can only speak for themselves. Everyone can only answer how they would react in a given situation, and every situation seems to have different variables too them. I know that I've often refused to be around folks that I knew would or is doing something like this to others. I even remember one guy I'd known for years who cheated on his girlfriend. I refused to hang out with him anymore, and told him until he told her what he had done, I wanted nothing to do with him. Imagine my surprise when a few months later he wanted a shoulder to cry on when his girlfriend cheated on him, and he wanted someone to tell how unfair it was. Darn. I couldn't even "Fake" sympathy. Maybe I'm just jaded, because of having been on the wrong side of that in my life before. But I can honestly say I'm the last person to have double standards (^_^)

Having said that, I think its a good story, but to me the story seemed to be leading to the fact that the wife should cut bait and run. I think the fact that the husband was doing it for years, saying that he loved his wife but would not stop doing it, says to me that he wasn't really sorry. Just sorry he got caught. And to top it off that he felt that he needed to get revenge on the man his wife was with, and felt he was wronged and thats all he could think of when faced with what she told them, never once thinking about how much he hurt her until slapped in the face with it, reminds me of the guy I mentioned above. But thats my opinion of course, based on my own personal experiences =)

But either way its a good story. It makes you think what what I do? But at least I already know what I would do (^_^)

I loved the story. I don't live by a double standard. If I cheat on my wife I expect she will dump me. And, you all know if she cheats on me she is history. That is all just me and each person is entitled to think as they will.

She will dump him. He was not willing to forgive even though he had cheated for years. I don't think that she actually forgave him either, just avoided the issue. Truthfully, some of it she could have avoided by bringing up the issue the first time she found out he did it... does not exonerate him at all for continued cheating, but it didn't stop him either.

Keep your good stories coming, we love them.

Charleybear

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Based upon what the wife had to say and the test she gave him, their marriage is over. Like it or not, she set up the test situation and why would she bother unless she was prepared to follow through.

Note she could have told him the truth and made tracks when she discovered the gun was gone. Walk in, tell them she's done a bad thing - told hubby about a non-existent affair and trust that Steve is fast enough on the uptake to pick up his cues.

Sir

This one of your better essays.

If you want a suggestion, try having him pull the gun out of his pocket and put to his head. he says, "sorry about the mess," and starts to pull the trigger. Steve grabs the pistol and blocks the hammer coming down. Miriam yells at him, "you are going to leave us in hell!" he says, "I can't treat you right and I can't live without you." "I will never be truly decent toward you." "Even now I'm scared that my marriage is over and I will be poor, but I'm terrified that I will never have another hardon and pussy to go into." "Damnit let me finish." "I'll go outside and splatter the grass."

Miriam say, "You can go finish yourself or you can work with me on this marriage, your choice."

This should be a suitably just ending. Hell yeah, he is a hycocrite, but then most of are just live at peace with our neighbors and friends. Anyway as you stated in the story he could not figure out how to live with divided assets. PS the reason that there is a LOVING WIVES category is that we actually care if the wife strays, that is much more important to us than whether the husband accidently rapes some other person. Its not that we don't think its wrong for men to cheat; its that men just aren't as important to us. We care about women, but don't give adamn about men.

I think you spelled out the situation very well.

As far as these characters go, Harry should start packing and looking for one-room apartments to rent.

It is the gun & the possible murder that is disturbing. Harry starts out as a sympathetic character but that changes. That, incidentally, is a strength of the story.

The story appears contrived but it is more a morality tale than a realistic depiction of human beings. Good work.

playingcardcompany

If this is America 2005 the likeliest outcome is Harry killing himself AFTER he kills his wife, and possibly Steve as well.

Suicide only = 30%

Murder wife, then suicide = 60%

Murder wife and Steve, then suicide = 10%

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good as allways.but why did she get three days to answer and he get one.

why was she worred about steve when he took the gun and not him.

hi dg hear,

the thing i find interesting about this story is that in the morning, the husband is going to feel differently. reading the story, especially about the part where the husband says (after getting the gun): "i didn't know what i was going to do" left me intrigued. what would he do?

if you would like a stopping point, why choose the point where the husband is begging to come back--why not end it prior to this point with him a whirl wind of emotions? by having him beg for forgiveness, you have really closed down a number of interesting avenues.

example: you mention that the brother in law tried to blackmail his wife--which would explain why he never came around anymore. maybe there was attempted coercion--to what extent? its not clear. it doesn't take much to spin this as a revenge fantasy--but not quite in the way one imagined. after all, the gun may be to kill the brother-in-law, but it might also be for use in self-defense, if the brother-in-law decided to try and interfere with the news he was going to tell her sister about the alleged affair.

the point of suicide was raised in an earlier comment in the thread, and that actually makes more sense given the moves you made about begging for forgiveness.

the husband screwed up, but the revenge of the wife is neither innocent nor harmless. she put people in jeopardy. she says she has sex in their house, with a close friend, on more than one occasion. they have both lied to each other. they are both infidelities, but they differ in degree of intensity (given the differing geographic and personal closeness to the persons concerned).

the final thing--the fact that she wasn't prepared to confront him at an earlier point, or that steve couldn't either, says volumes for where their relationships are at. when you add on top of that the fact that she lied to him, with the active help of her sister and his brother-in-law, it would take a pretty impressive individual to be able to square that level of humiliation with staying with his wife. and this is another difference--this is no longer about personal humiliation alone--of the husband to the wife. for the wife's actions towards the husband--its now public and shared amongst others whose opinions matter to the husband.

Several comments point this out. The two situations, the husbands casual one night stands which began some time after he began traveling were not "affairs" as understood. An affair is a planned love affair with someone taken as a lover. A one night stand is merely scratching an itch.

The scratch is not to be condoned, but it is never meant to surplant the married partner back at the corral. On the other hand, the affair DOES and is MEANT to take the place of the married partner. As written the husband did not have "a woman in every port." Is that forgiveable? It would depend on the one who was cheated. I'm not sure my wife would accept it (she adamantly insists she never would). But taking a long term lover is to place another partner on a par with the married partner.

Thus, while neither the husband and the wife did the right thing, the extent and kind of their betrayals (revenge in the wife's case) are of two different kinds.

Judging by my own feelings reading the story, I doubt the marriage could be saved. The wife has set a deadline, 24 hours, for the husband to weigh and judge her actions against his. An impossible time limit. In the only time he was given to decide all he could see were visions of his wife rutting with his best friend.

When he took the pistol my own emotion was despair. He loved her, she had done the one thing she instinctively knew he couldn't forgive, particularly and it was a double betrayal.

I was surprised he ended up at the brother in laws house, I expected him to stop off someplace remote, where it would be weeks or even years before he was found, and eat that gun.

As to the discussion you wanted, the story was too unbalanced to give it. If he had discovered she had taken to picking up random men on some occasions when he was gone, I could see and understand them realizing they sure as hell weren't communicating with one another very well.

The fact that the wife's tale was a lie was a nice twist, but had no bearing on how the story would come out.

But do the story again, using balanced evils.

Doug

This is a pointless exercise really. You have already put everything squarely on Hubby's sagging shoulders. Miriam is a saint and good ol' Steve a paragon. What is there to decide. She can take him to the cleaners and still retain her righteous indignation. Meantime Harry can work harder than ever to pay his obligations and still screw around until the next wronged husband kills him! No worries!

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hi dg hear,

the thing i find interesting about this story is that in the morning, the husband is going to feel differently. reading the story, especially about the part where the husband says (after getting the gun): "i didn't know what i was going to do" left me intrigued. what would he do?

if you would like a stopping point, why choose the point where the husband is begging to come back--why not end it prior to this point with him a whirl wind of emotions? by having him beg for forgiveness, you have really closed down a number of interesting avenues.

example: you mention that the brother in law tried to blackmail his wife--which would explain why he never came around anymore. maybe there was attempted coercion--to what extent? its not clear. it doesn't take much to spin this as a revenge fantasy--but not quite in the way one imagined. after all, the gun may be to kill the brother-in-law, but it might also be for use in self-defense, if the brother-in-law decided to try and interfere with the news he was going to tell her sister about the alleged affair.

the point of suicide was raised in an earlier comment in the thread, and that actually makes more sense given the moves you made about begging for forgiveness.

the husband screwed up, but the revenge of the wife is neither innocent nor harmless. she put people in jeopardy. she says she has sex in their house, with a close friend, on more than one occasion. they have both lied to each other. they are both infidelities, but they differ in degree of intensity (given the differing geographic and personal closeness to the persons concerned).

the final thing--the fact that she wasn't prepared to confront him at an earlier point, or that steve couldn't either, says volumes for where their relationships are at. when you add on top of that the fact that she lied to him, with the active help of her sister and his brother-in-law, it would take a pretty impressive individual to be able to square that level of humiliation with staying with his wife. and this is another difference--this is no longer about personal humiliation alone--of the husband to the wife. for the wife's actions towards the husband--its now public and shared amongst others whose opinions matter to the husband.

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I would not read another of your stories with the dumb ending you had in this one.

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Well, guess he has his medicine now and get to know how his wife felt! If he is really repentant, i will help him to appeal to his wife .... (heehee) One impt factor - if they still love each other and the man really repents, I see no reason why can't they go on with their marriage ..It is very obvious that the wife loved him very much by closing her eyes all this while ... It would be his loss if he did not know how to treasure the last chance. Where there is love, marriage shall exists.

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Great story DG Hear. It's an interest and clerverly written short story. And the story as a wonderful ending. As you indicate - It's a Wonderful Life (a la Frank Capra).

...your emotions and my emotions are too strong and volatile right now. We need time to cool down, calm down and think about what we want. I think you should move out for a while. While we're apart, I think we should not date or have casual sex. This will give you time to think through how you want to live for the rest of your life - do you want a monogamous relationship with me or maybe you'd rather be free to pursue other women."

I leaned back in my chair and sighed, thinking that Mariam did have a logical point. I was confused - on the one hand, I was furious with her for lying to me and setting up her rather hateful 'test,' however, I could see that I had caused her so much pain that I couldn't blame her for wanting to hurt me back.

I thought for a minute and then responded, "If I agree to this, how long would you plan for us to be apart? One month? One year? Three years? Would we be able to see each other? I don't see how we can work on our marriage and get past this if we're not able to talk with each other."

Mariam looked serious for a minute and said, "I'm not sure how long. I was thinking in terms of a year; I'd like to see if you can keep your dick in your pants that long and really stop screwing around. I think you're right that we would need to see each other - maybe start with lunch once a week and occasional phone calls and see how things go. To be honest, I'm not sure that I can forgive you, but I'm hoping that we love each other enough that we can kind of start over. If you want to see a marriage counselor during this time, we could do that, although I'm skeptical about how effective that would be."

I replied, "Do you have any idea how difficult it would be for me to be alone for a year? Being alone on the road was what got me into trouble in the first place - sure, it was part horniness, but I think it was more being lonely and wanting companionship."

Miriam nodded, "Yes, I know. It is going to be difficult for me too, but I don't want to divorce you right now unless that is what you really want. I just don't see another alternative - I really believe that we both need time to think. And if you can't go for a year without screwing around, that tells you something about your priorities and about what you really want from your life, doesn't it?"

I replied, "I guess this would be the real test, wouldn't it."

Miriam sadly smiled, "yeah."

Don't get caught up trying to satisfy everyone. Just keep it logically consistent. And satisfy yourself. Harrry is portrayed as a man who is in love with Miriam despite his inability to keep his dick in his pants. Miriam first describes her alleged affair, then denies it when things get out of hand. What is Miriam looking for?

Here's an ending that no one will like ;-)

Miriam announces that she's leaving Harry and moving in with Steve & Barb.

Harry goes to pieces and the rest stand around wondering what to do.

Harry appears to snap out of his stupor, then grabs his gun & shoots to cripple Steve & Miriam.

Harry demands that Barb tell him the truth as she knows it.

Barb admits that Harry's infidelity was just an excuse for Steve who lusted after Miriam, that the affair occurred and lasted far longer than Miriam admitted, and that Barb was the one who eventually forced an end to Miriam's and Steve's affair.

Steve claims that he would have never strayed if he hadn't caught Miriam and Barb together in bed(!) Barb had apparently consoled Miriam long before Steve became involved.

Harry shoots to cripple Barb, then calls 911. When the SWAT team arrives, Harry empties his gun into Steve's groin, forgetting to leave a bullet for himself. Harry turns the empty gun on the SWAT team but they shoot to disable.

Harry is found unfit to stand trial and lives out the rest of his life in a padded call, Steve is confined to a nursing home due to his permanent injuries. Miriam moves in with Barb but they struggle from day to day.

write it the way you want it to end. Don't care what others think, a writer has the obligation to finish the tale. So finish it for God sakes. Be a writer and a man!

Fabulous DG, such skill!

I agree with the sentiments expressed the likes of Troubador and Cageytee and others, very likely a doomed marriage for actions on both their parts.

But not quite a double standard either for reason of your well described variation in the gravity of their daliances - his with one-night-stand type events although numerous, hers opportunistic initially then developing into a premeditated affair of length, in terms of time and personal attachment. Situations both of quite polarised in-equality.

in the event when Miriam is confronted by an affair's husband, then it's likely that the wife is a regular player with other men too, that husbands beef is not only with Harry, but potentially many others. Miriam's long term suffering in silence is a little un-likely, particularly if she confided in her sister and Steve. The cat would get out of the bag. She won't take any comfort from realising Harry has no emotional attachment to his affairs. Simply it was wrong, and doubtful she could move past it in the scenario you portrayed. I liked the anonymous comment where he tricked her into revealing she did get it on with Steve after all, a twist on a twist that one!

You've done one thing to excellence, and that is to bring into focus in our minds that so called Double Standard, along with the Consequences. Men will see Harry's situation as forgivable (if not excusable) in Miriams' eyes, for the absence of that emotional connection "it was just sex". Men will also concur that Harry couldn't get past Miraim having an emotional connection affair of duration (or any other cheating for the most of us), which places him in that cuckolded and humiliated position.

In reality, I doubt that women are at all as forgiving or accomodating of affairs, cheating, or even 'mistakes' men make such as in-appropriate comment, reading literotica, porn, or perving or groping in relation to other women of their partners contact, as these sites might portray. Even though some women do suffer in silence for some time, it would be a vastly minority situation for them to endure it at length. The studies show that women operate on a more emotional level than men, is that true? Your story asks us to believe that is the case, because if Miriam wanted revenge for herself in a private sense she could go out and have a (or many if likes) one-night-stand also. But as you so expertly pointed out, the type of affair for her to have to extract the most reaction, and hurt him the most, was the type you described, one of lengthy time with someone known to Harry.

Even though all that is played out, imho the ending could likely be;

" I choose to stay with you, Harry, and try and rebuild our trust and love for each other. It may not be possible, the way I'm feeling right now, you miserable son of a bitch, but I'm willing to try if you can too"

So there DG, is where your next story starts...

There was more than one double standard here. When faced with this latest failure on the husbands part, the wife said, " I need to think about it, I'll talk to you in the morning". (paraphrased) The husband when faced with the shock of his wifes supposed wandering, is expected to immediately declare his love AND forgiveness! Bullshit! Granted he further crapped in his pants the next morning by not dealing directly with her and doing whatever was necessary to heal the breach, but to expect someone that more than likely was in shock, to suddenly come to terms with the situation was in a nutshell just plain idiotic.

So in this story, we have a double,double standard. LOL.

Tim C.

I already commented on my opinion that the situations were sufficiently dissimilar that it was not a double standard but two completely different situations that had surface similarities.

Some commenters have discussed real life where, and I accept it as likely, only 30% survive when the wife cheats but 70% when it's the husband. I don't think this is the result of a double standard at all. I think that in the majority of the instances of the men cheating, if he could correctly articulate his reason, it would be he was thinking with his dick, he was stupid and selfish and, while it would clearly hurt her if she found out, he didn't expect her to and after it was over he felt no differently toward his wife than he did before the incident. The majority of the women would report that their affair, and it likely would not be a one-off, was not an oops event as it is often depicted here, but the result of some kind of emotional involvement with the other man. After the affair, as well as during, shes would feel very differently about her husband than before, as opposed to here where she almost always still loves him and it was just sex. When women get involved in real life, it is rarely just sex. If you removed gender from those scenarios and reported that when there was no emotional involvement, 70% of the marriages survived, but where there was emotional involvement only 30% survived, nobody would be surprised and the thought of a double standard would never enter anyone's mind. That men and women get involved in meaningfully different ways is more likely the reason for the disparity of result, rather than that women are held to a different standard in the same situation.

As someone mentioned, when she found out that her husband had his gun with him, why was she more worried about steve than her own husband. Why was she worried that her husband was going to kill steve, but never even worried that he might kill himself. Now that brings up two interesting questions. How do we know for sure that she wasn't fucking steve. How do we know that she wasn't lying when she told her husband that it was all a lie, when she tells him that she never cheated on him but just made it up to make him feel the way she felt. She knows that he has the gun and probably has every intention of killing steve, so she lie's to him about the "affair". For all we know, all three of them are in on it. Someone wrote this comment, and i have to say that i like his ending, but with a small change."Miriam looked at me and said, "Harry, yesterday you had the choice to save our marriage and was unable to come to a decision. Well, Harry, I'm making the decision for us both now. I choose that we . . . ."

"stay together and try to heal our marriage...starting now. However, I will no longer tolerate your cheating and your indecisiveness. But I shall stay here with Barb and Steve until cooler heads prevail and I'll see you at home later in the week. I looked at Miriam with a reflective glance and recalled all the many years we had together and said, "you know me too well Miriam, otherwise you would not have been here.... you know that I never meant to hurt you... that they were all faceless affairs with strangers that were always kept at a distance and never involved any love from my heart... and yes, I agree there is a double standard....but you put a face to your affair...or shall we say to your lie... in all our years together, you have never lied...but this lie almost jeopardize Steve's life because of his supposed blackmail... It put me through hell last night and this morning...your lie broke all my trust I ever had in you....and in Steve and in Barb...no, I believe our marriage is dead...I know my friendship with Steve and Barb is dead...so rather than both of us trying to save a dead marriage....let us part amicably...perhaps you should have had your affair with Steve". Miriam's anger now flared realizing her marriage was all but over, "how do you know we didn't". "I thought so", and point blank quickly aimed my gun at Steve's forehead and shot him dead. " I figgered so, you have never lied to me before...why would you lie now"...and I left the shocked sisters scrambling to assist Steve. I went home quietly t to wait for the police, nursing a final drink and remembering to make sure I called my boss about turning down that promotion. I like this ending with a little change, and that would be that he kills all three of them.

I was thinking of writing alternate endings but after reading the comments from the readers my thoughts fail in comparison to some of your ending. Thank you all for your thoughts and responses, it was fun to read what the readers thought. I hope you enjoyed it also. For those of you who arn't writers you might want to try submitting a story. Some of your endings had quite an imagination. I won't be posting any more of the feedbacks on this story. There were plenty of ending to choose from.

Thank you all for responding

Sincerely

DG Hear

Well done I like it.

She says I think we should go our seperate ways. He Loves her so much but is now thing of the lost of trust he has in her. If it could have been just a fling I could have gotten over it and forgiven her as she has me. But he also wonders why she never said any thing until now and why she wa there protecting Steve... He slowly walks to the door pulls the gun and puts it to his head. Steve grabs his arm and he is shot in the chest as he lays dying he tell Mariam " I forgive you and will always love you" Illoking at her one last time as sTeve now holds her close Harry dies... She now has to live with this for the rest of her life... wa this lie ... or affair worth his death

Well done I like it.

She says I think we should go our seperate ways. He Loves her so much but is now thing of the lost of trust he has in her. If it could have been just a fling I could have gotten over it and forgiven her as she has me. But he also wonders why she never said any thing until now and why she wa there protecting Steve... He slowly walks to the door pulls the gun and puts it to his head. Steve grabs his arm and he is shot in the chest as he lays dying he tell Mariam " I forgive you and will always love you" Illoking at her one last time as sTeve now holds her close Harry dies... She now has to live with this for the rest of her life... wa this lie ... or affair worth his death

Miriam and Harry should start divorce proceedings with the only way they stay together if Harry seek help and he learn to respect his wife. It is amazing to help people argue that people stay together based upon the number of years married. Obviously, a divorce within the first 5 years probably meant that it was a mistake in the first place.

Harry listed all of the economic reasons to stay together but his disregard for his wife (even having unprotected sex during his affairs) is unexcusable.

By the way, the blackmail was the only basis for Harry to settle things with Steve but the gun was a prelude to a disaster. Very human but very stupid!

So my recommendation is to give Harry until the divorce become final to get his act together.

Superb story! Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

Dear Mr. DG hear:

Below are some comments about your story “A double standard” which I liked but you may not be able to tell from my comments.

1. Does Harry not have some time to absorb the shock of his wife’s story about her adultery? When Miriam first heard the news from the irate husband she asked Harry if he had the affair and he answered yes. Miriam replied she needed time to think. “She told me she needed time to think.” (Paragraph 11 I think) and now when her husband also took some time to digest her fabricated but destructive story she is upset? Yes I would say that was a double standard but the other way around.

2. And Miriam is upset that her husband would go to her brother in laws house to tell his wife and confront him about blackmail? Well, she didn’t seem to have any problem with the irate husband calling her with the news of Harry’s cheating. She didn’t tell the irate husband that he was a bad man for calling her – why should she have a problem with her husband telling her sister the news. - Yeah this too seems to be a bit of a double standard. Not as bad but a bit.

3. My God, the on again off again nature of Miriam. When she first hears the news about her Harry’s affair she says she will take time to decide. Then she fabricates a story (Lies) (maybe it’s true – who knows) and after telling the story she says it is now his decision about a divorce. And then in the morning she says he must make the decision by that night and then she confronts him at her sisters and says now she will make the decision for him and her both. Good God does she stick to anything she says. This too seems like a double standard that she can change her own rules when ever she wants and he must follow.

4. The so called “Affair test” itself is a set up - a sure to loose test. What person on the face of the earth when told the story that Miriam told Harry would immediately think to say “Oh honey I forgive you”. What’s to forgive? The fact is Miriam never asked him to forgive her and incredibly she didn’t even say she was sorry. She just threw it in his face with no apologies nothing just laying her cards on the table so Steve, her brother in law wouldn’t surprise him someday. Her story was delivered in a malicious destructive way with no apologies. Harry on the other hand had apologized through the whole story in various ways. After the irate husband calls he says he told her everything he just said above which is kind of nebulous but implies I love you and an apology.

How would Miriam have liked it if after the call from the irate husband Harry said “oh Miriam its good you know now and the cards are now out on the table so you won’t be surprised when the other husbands call.” Now you have a decision to make about us staying together. Please make your decision in the next hour. -- Oh too bad I said an hour but it has been ten minutes and you haven’t said the magic word which is “I forgive you Harry” even though I haven’t said I am sorry and by the way this was really a test and all you have done is cry and hide in your room. So I am deciding for you and me. You will see divorce papers in the morning.????!!!!? I don’t think Miriam would have liked that treatment. The crucial fact here is Harry never wanted to hurt Miriam but Miriam was doing everything to hurt Harry with no apologies.

I would react just like Harry did. He didn’t “run away with his drink” He got a drink and tried to put his soul back together after being ripped apart. In fact, he did what Miriam did many years ago when she first suspected he had an affair. She sat down and cried and tried to repair her soul - within the marriage. Does Harry not deserve the same opportunity? Did he call her names and throw her out? Did he rant and rave? No he knew he was destroyed and beaten and he just needed some time to find himself again. If Miriam could not see this then she is not very understanding of what she herself went through. Now she will deny him time within the marriage to recover and go on. Yeah sounds like a double standard again and the additional fact that she had no apologies no regrets and did not ask for forgiveness and then made it into some kind of “affair test” after he apologized and asked forgiveness is a double standard in any culture on this planet - in reverse. Miriam with the encouragement of her sister is a real piece of work

The idea of the “affair test” that you put in the story was good but it was set up unequal. If Miriam had told her story and then said “Harry I am truly sorry about this and I am asking your forgiveness” she would have been on equal footing with Harry and you could play out a true double standard. However if she had said the above it would have been nearly impossible to refuse – Hell I would not refuse such a repentant woman after I had cheated and we had 30 years together. But that would end the story. If Harry took time to think it over and then answered the next night as requested that would have ended the story also. Only if he confronted her the next night and said he couldn’t live with the images and he wanted a divorce would we have seen the true double standard. And then the story would have ended without a deeper treatment of the double standard or the reasons for a double standard. As it is the double standard is kind of lost in Miriam’s revenge. But let’s give Miriam a break. After all it is (maybe) a made up story. So what if she left out the realism of an apology. Why would she apologize for something she did not do? She can only be accused of not winning the academy award for realism. Unfortunately it was real enough for poor Harry and he didn’t know it was untrue. And her uncaring attitude would destroy any man or woman with feelings and she should be made aware of it in the continuation.

5. A minor point. She had just given him the worst most destructive news you can lay on someone with her story of adultery. Then she finds he took a gun and left the house and when she found this out she rushed to her sisters thinking he was going to do damage to her brother in law? My first thought when he picked up the gun was he was going to commit suicide. Evidently she didn’t worry about that at all. And when he showed up at the brother in law’s house she was not relieved at all that he had not done something to himself. The lesson here appears to be that she really doesn’t care about him at all. She actually hates him. In many ways I don’t blame her – I can understand. But in her hatred she is not being fair and it could hurt her as much as it does him in the end. My experience has been that even when my wife hates me after a fight she still worries about me.

The fabricated story. There is no question here the story Miriam concocted ( or was it really true?) was designed to be destructive. It was told to hurt Harry in a way he could not reconcile and thus help destroy the marriage. A point I would like to make here - It really doesn’t matter if the story is true or false. She constructed it in a way that she knew it would devastate him. The take home message for him is that she hated him and has probably made her decision to divorce him but wanted to rip his heart before she told him she wants a divorce. This behavior I can understand but as an outside observer I loose a lot of respect her character.

As a kicker she announces that he didn’t say the appropriate buzz words for her ridiculous “affair test” and she was now calling an instant time deadline so he was a failure there too. So its all his fault and he can go rot in hell . DAH. It was all his fault to begin with and she didn’t need to dream up some hokey test to prove that. If the “affair test” were to see if he would forgive her then it is again a double standard because she never forgave him. Just because she stayed with him after she first suspected his affairs doesn’t mean she forgave him. It only means she put up with him for her own advantage to raise a family and maybe not to have to work much. I may be wrong but I don’t think she forgives him or implies forgiveness anywhere in this story except in her made up story where he brings her flowers. It seems this woman wants the marriage to end and wants to inflict as much pain and hurt as she can in doing so. I can’t blame her much but it may very well turn around to bite her if Harry is truly repentant as the story suggest. And the old saw “once a cheater always a cheater” is not true in all instances. There are lots of examples of this.

One more point about Miriam’s fabricated story. When Harry is confronted at Miriam’s sister’s house there is really no way Harry knows which story is really true. At the point the story ends he only knows that either the story of infidelity was untrue or the claim that it was all made up was untrue. For the first time since he has known Miriam she has directly lied to him. He has never lied to her. He might not have told her of his affairs but he never lied. Now he knows she lied in the story or the claim it was made up. Even though Miriam’s sister and brother in law corroborate her claim that it was made up for a “test” it could be that the story was true and now they are conspiring to say it was made up so that Miriam can get the best settlement in the divorce proceedings. Even though I agree that the chances the story was made up are 80% if I were Harry I would not be able to rule out that it was true 20%. In saying it was made up, Miriam gets to hurt Harry (for a day or longer) but she preserves a good position in divorce proceedings or some other motive like appearing to be the wronged partner to her children. Once you start to lie things go to hell in a hurry and Harry knows it.

When things reach the stage we see in the end of your story Miriam is trying to inflict damage on Harry for revenge but quite probably deep down inside she is also trying to bring out true emotions, regret, promises and feelings of renewed love and trust. If he shows regret and express love and grovels she can get some of her self respect and self worth back and she may even secretly long for a renewal of the relationship. What is crazy is people often to hurt to reconcile but in hurting each other they are driving each other away - just the opposite of what they might intend and they don’t seem to know when to stop. If Miriam is at all interested in continuing the marriage she needs to stop the poison. Soon there will be nothing left. Although Harry is contrite at this point, as he should be, he will only be able to take so much before he will try to hurt back and everything is doomed. I can almost hear somewhere down the line – “you never really loved me. You just kept me around to help raise the kids and provide you with food and shelter and now that you can take me for a bundle you will.” This marriage is headed for disaster unless either Harry or Miriam does something drastic. I think Harry will have to do something drastic. And I have a good idea of what it should be especially after the selfish bastard talked about all the money he would loose to Miriam, a woman who gave him everything for 30 years.

.

This story points very neatly to some possibilities of what Miriam is thinking in this process. And some possible motives that could lead to great conflict in the story.

1. She simply got tired of his cheating ass a long time ago and put up with it for the sake of the kids with the hope it would end. She probably loved him very deeply for a long time - maybe the first 15 years of their 30 year marriage but finally just got fed up. She should have confronted him about this issue a long time ago before her poisons had a chance to marinate for years but she didn’t. Toward the end, with little love left for Harry, Miriam begins to look at other men and she dress better and there are men who flirted with her and showed her she is desirable and she was beginning to think of getting out of her marriage. It was exciting and reinforced her self image. Now she wants out and needs to find a way.

2. When the irate husband called with proof of Harry’s infidelity it was really convenient and she new immediately this was her ticked out of the marriage with a clean break. She also wanted some revenge so she made up the story of adultery knowing it would almost kill Harry and then showed up at her sister’s house and confronted him and told him it was a test so that he would feel even more like a failure. She was going to stick it to him every way she could

By the way, if in the last scene she says she wants to stay together the story pretty much ends. If she opts for divorce and lives happily ever after with a new man or something the story also ends in 2 more paragraphs. The fact is she has to divorce Harry followed by a struggle to heal wounds and make things fair involving the whole family and friends reactions. In this struggle This story could get very interesting and very good. This story shouldn’t end, there is too much potential here.

There are some really great endings for this story. But it will need getting inside the heads of Miriam and Harry a lot. And it will take a carefully written view of society because after all it is society who has given us the double standard you want to talk about. The continued story here could be tremendous.

About a double standard. Of course there is a double standard. It has been handed down by our society for millennia. We have a derogatory word for a man who has been cheated on. It is Cuckold. For a woman who has been cheated on I know of no word for it. It is as if it doesn’t exist. And there is a simple reason for the double standard. When a woman is cheated on she is devastated with the thought that something is wrong with her. It goes immediately to self image and confidence and is very destructive. This is the principal component of a woman’s torment. When a man is cheated on it does the same thing it goes to his sense of adequacy and self image and is just as destructive as with women. With men however there is an additional component of peer acceptance. In the old days a man who had been made a cuckold and knew about it was considered week and not worthy of respect. Who would follow a cuckold into battle or anywhere else for that matter? He could not be accepted as a leader or a man worthy of anything. Men were forced by society to show their power and aggression in such cases. Henry the VIII chopped off heads because of this. It was a demand of society. Good bad or indifferent that’s the way it was and we still have remnants of this thinking. No one today respects a cuckold especially if the woman does it in his face so to speak. Knowing that a man is an willing or accepting cuckold could affect his work, promotions and all sorts of things. Most people if they knew a man was a cuckold wouldn’t want this weak pussy whipped man to even coach their kid’s baseball team.

In the past women didn’t have a job or career to protect. The only people that they were leading were children who didn’t care. Right or wrong they were considered the weaker sex so if they were weak in the face of their husbands cheating that was ok. These ideas still exist and are buried in our culture. I also think that they are changing as women have careers where they must protect their image. Hillary Clinton has been walking a fine line in this regard for years. I am not saying that it is right but that it is the way things are. If anyone is to be chastised for a double standard it is society as much as our asshole Harry. I don’t know why I just wrote this paragraph. You know this as well as I do.

I am susceptible to this double standard too and I am a bit ashamed of it. I realized when I almost finished writing this piece that I consistently referred to Miriam’s made up story as her adultery and when I referred to Harry’s behavior I characterized it as an affair, infidelity or cheating which are much softer terms. I am male obviously but I have three daughters who I hope will never go through something like this. I hope they would react sensibly and fair if it does happen to them and if there is no repentance – throw the bum out.

At the end of this story you ask for comments which I have given. By the way these are the first comments I have ever written. You also ask what I would do If I were to write what “I would do” it would be a story. Is this what you were thinking? I don’t know what the protocol is here.

Sincerely, Roger Dean.

Please keep in mind that MOST of these comments were written before

I completed the story so some of them are based on incomplete

information.

I've just started to read this story and I really feel that you are

simplifying the facts WAY too much.

Specifically:

Quote:

I think of all the names the readers of erotic material call the

woman who has had an affair. Bitch, whore, slut, and many more. They

want the husbands to dump their wife, beat them up and in some cases

kill the mother fuckers. They never try to understand them or why

they did it. They don't take the time to listen to them and most of

all never forgive them.

Is there still a double standard? Should a woman forgive her husband

if he has an affair or should she just grab him by the short hairs

and divorce him?

If he says, "I love you, I just made a big mistake, it was just sex.

I was just so lonely and you weren't there. God, how I wish you

were. It is you I love and want to spend all my remaining years

with. Please believe me, don't end this marriage. I know it will

take time but we can work through it." Sound familiar?

End quote

While there probably IS a double standard in cheating stories I find

the biggest difference between MOST of the stories and your

protagonist so far is that HE has not shorted his time with his wife

to enjoy his affairs, at least based on the information he (you)

have given us. It seems that he has strayed during his scheduled

trips but does not, again at least as far as I can see, leave

earlier and earlier and stay later and later to allow a continuing

affair. It seems to me that he has one night stands with women,

never the same woman and ONLY during his trip. He's basically using

these women as masturbation devices, not for emotional support.

This fact does not absolve his sins it just points out the

differences in the sinners.

MOST of the cheating stories involving women, some of yours for that

matter, involve a woman who is getting emotional satisfaction to the

detriment of her home life. She starts the affair and slowly,

sometimes so slowly that the unsuspecting husband doesn't notice for

months or longer. The trip that used to be one or two days has now

stretched to three or four. Instead of leaving late in the day so

she can spend time with her family she's leaving early in the

morning so she can 'prepare for her meeting and be fresh and ready

to go'. During this time the couples sex life deteriorates and

because the husband is trying to be an 'understanding spouse' and

support his wife he doesn't press the issue. Then, of course some

circumstance or other clue brains the husband over the head so he

can no longer delude himself and he's faced with the actions of his

wife. The kind of affair she has is so different from the affair of

your protagonist they are light years apart. Now, while I condemn

both affairs I could forgive the 'masturbation' affair much easier

than I could the continuing emotional support affair.

Each of them are a betrayal of the marriage vows but the continuing

affair with the same person goes much deeper into betrayal because

the person who has one of these types of affairs is not only having

sex outside the marriage but they have started the process of

replacing their spouse in their hearts and minds. They are

withholding sex AND love from the marriage partner for the sake of

the affair. When this kind of thing happens the claims of "it was

only sex" and "I love only you" ring very hollow, and I'm very

surprised if you can not see the difference.

The person who gets caught in this type of affair, and they always

get caught, wails that they are so sorry. The only thing they are

sorry about is getting caught! They would keep doing the behavior

until one of two things happened, they get caught OR, and this is

most rare, they divorce their spouse and actually marry their

cheating partner.

What strikes me as most unrealistic is how the authors, you included

based on the comments I've read, wonder why they get such passionate

(negative) replies to the situations they set up when, for the most

part the situation is not believable. Consistently, authors show us

circumstances where the husband, I say that because 99.99% of these

stories involve the husband being cheated upon, is mentally

devastated, physically affected AND angry as hell. This woman, who

he has given many years of his life to, has humiliated him in the

worst possible way; she has taken a long term lover, basically

replacing him. The reasons for it matter little to me, whether she

is bored with her home life, or whether she is getting older and

feeling unattractive or whatever, it does not really matter. The

bottom line is she's crapped on her marriage, on the person who

she's professed to love 'until death do us part' and all that

stuff. It would be kinder to the husband if she'd just tell the

poor guy she's tired of him and wants to be free rather than this

baloney that she loves only him and it was just for the excitement

and all that.

I can even accept the occasional reconciliation, IF the author

spends the time to really get into the head of the husband and his

thought process in forgiving his wife. However, what usually

happens is the husband, usually after a heated divorce, can't live

without his life partner and takes her back with minimal effort

because he's 'lost' without her. The bottom line of all of this is

the cheating wife gets a 'free pass' to have one affair since the

end result is she gets her husband and her life back. All she

has to do is not do the same thing again. In the mean time she's

caused the person she supposedly loves more than anything in the

world more heartache and pain than almost any other act. She's

enriched the divorce lawyers involved because just about all of

these stories involve an actual divorce. She's caused both sets of

parents pain because all of this comes out and it hurts them as

well. If there are any children, they too are hurt because their

happy home is now broken apart by mom's selfish activity.

An offshoot of this is the potential for giving the child

conflicting views of fidelity in marriage. Here they thought mom

and dad loved each other and would never hurt each other. Then

the affair comes out and it is shown that mom has done something

outside of what they have been taught as right and while there are

consequences daddy forgives her and in some cases even apologizes

for divorcing her in the first place. Now what are children

supposed to think? They have been told that cheating is wrong BUT

it would seem that if you can convince your partner that it was only

a mistake and you are really, truly sorry, that forgiveness can be

granted, as long as you don't screw up again, maybe. Heck if she

can make one mistake since we are all human can't we make more than

one and still be forgiven? It is a confusing situation at best, and

one that will almost certainly affect how the child reacts in their

own relationships in the future.

*****

Quote:

"I was mad at you, Harry. I was lonely, distraught, and wanted

revenge on you, Harry.

End quote

This is the other difference between men and women regarding their

revenge. Women screw the first cock that comes along where the man

wants to punish the cheater AND her lover. This is a big difference

to me. Two wrongs don't make a right and this kind of revenge only

serves to make her as bad as her cheating husband, maybe worse

because she knew what he was doing and specifically planned to do

the same thing. I can understand wanting to get back at the person

who hurt you, I really can, but how does this get back at Harry? He

didn't even know until she told him so how is that hurting him? Now

exposing the cheating slut and her lover to the world and his

brother, now THAT hurts the cheating spouse!

*****

Quote:

I looked at Miriam, my loving wife for thirty years. She just

admitted to fucking my brother-in-law and friend six times to get

even with me.

End quote

See here's the difference, Miriam had sex with the same guy six

times, a friend of her husband besides. Harry, it seems, only got

caught because he was having sex with a serial cheater. You still

haven't been specific enough to tell us whether he always had the

same woman or not but, again, I don't get that impression. He also

wasn't rubbing her nose in it by screwing one of her friends either

but she did this specifically so that good old Steve would have

something over her husband and could laugh at him behind his back.

Again, the method of the affair and the method of the revenge are

totally different and carry different levels of emotional distress,

at least in my opinion.

*****

OK, that was an interesting set up BUT you still failed to tell us

whether Harry was having masturbation sex or an ongoing affair with

one woman. I firmly believe that MIGHT have made a difference to

Miriam in her decision. Also I feel that your Double Standard set

up is flawed for the reasons I mentioned above, to wit, she says she

had sex with her sister's husband who happens to be her husband's

friend as well. This adds an element of personality to the affair.

Miriam only knew these people as faceless women but she put a face

on her affair for Harry. He could see the face of the guy he plays

golf with every time he thinks about his wife having sex with that

other man. That doesn't absolve Harry at all in this little test

since he's as guilty as she is, or as she is supposed to be.

However, the double standard you want to make us think about is

based in the difference between men and women as well. She 'knew'

about these affairs but she did NOTHING to stop them, did she? She

didn't confront Harry and tell him she knew or at least suspected

he'd been unfaithful and asked him to stop or else, did she? No,

she suffered in silence for the sake of the kids or some other

financial reason, but in effect she 'forgave' him each time since

she didn't do anything to stop further infractions. She's had YEARS

to get used to his affairs as well. She hits him up with a

'recurring affair', with his friend besides, and she expects him to

just digest it and say "Gee dear, you're right, we've both been bad

and I forgive you if you'll forgive me." You have to admit this was

a surprise to Harry and his reaction is NOT that unusual for a man

who has just been told his wife has had an affair with his buddy, no

matter how many affairs he's had. He's just trying to come to terms

with what he's been told, not that he can't forgive her. If

anything SHE'S the one with a double standard since she won't give

him the years to come to terms with the affair that she's told him

she had.

Also SHE introduced the blackmail angle to Harry. Despite

everything he's done while on business he does love his wife and he

wants to confront the bastard that tried to blackmail her for sex.

He's protecting his mate IN SPITE of what she's supposedly done.

As to your open-ended ending I lean toward Miriam going for the

divorce since she set him up to fail and he failed the test. She

has her moral high ground to fall back on since she did not have an

affair and, truthfully Harry deserves it since he was caught

red-handed.

As with all stories that involve this subject there are no clear cut

answers. I feel that there are more extenuating circumstances in

this particular story than a lot of others. Your premise of a

double standard is valid but I feel you've failed to use a REAL

double standard, at least in this case.

Thanks for making me think,

Ray

A lot of truthful meanings here.

A lot of truthful meanings here.

i dont believe in a double standard. i say a woman has the same right to get fucked as a man has and if the fucking slut does it, who am i to criticize? actuially this is crude humor...i dont have a double standard.

you write and the intense and intricate relationships that you portray. They make for interesting and consuming reading.

You should stay together. You have only fucked like animals, you still love one another.

Neither can trust the other now and every time one of them is missing for more than piss call the doubt will start. Harry won't be able to go work without wondering what Miriam is doing and Miriam will also be wondering he is doing. The mistrust will eventually drive them to divorce court.

If they do get past those feelings of miistrust, counseling may very help them and save the marriage---it's possible. But they would have a hard row to hoe.

Since you wrote your sequel, which I have not yet read, a month later last year, I presume this is a rather passe effort and would not change your mind about your own outcome for the story. However, I find that writing sometimes help me achieve some clarity in my thought processes, so here goes.

I think your story proved very clearly the thesis implied in your title, because the character study of both Harry and Miriam and their responses to infidelity and a bogus infidelity seem to me to be very true to life for a large percentage of men and women. I believe that most men have a tendency to set aside their own guilt when offered a "lifepreserver" in the form of their spouse's infidelity, regardless of the number of times each had been unfaithful or with whom it might have occurred (family member, close friend, mere acquaintance or complete stranger). And on the other hand, I think a larger percentage of women than men or ready to go through the emotional struggle of forgiveness in an effort to "save the marriage" (the nest). These are very broad assumptions, but they are where I sit.

To cut to the chase (Miriam's unfinished last sentence), I am guessing that Harry failed the "test" when he went to the bottle and could not fairly quickly measure his own behaviour over many years against her "six time affair" (revenge) with Steve, her brother-in-law. Was the cuckolded husband the straw that broke the camel's back, was the episode just one too many for Miriam, or could she forgive him one more time. Since there is no record of him ever straying when close to home, is his willingness to take a new territory in the area without overnight stays away from home an honest and real effort to maintain a monogamous life style. With the full understanding that she has been faithful while he has been grossly unfaithful through the years, is she willing to share the last couple of decades of their lives together?

I don't think you told us enough for me to decide that, so I'm going to read the second chapter. Thanks for teasing and challenging me with it!!!

Not too bad, though certainly not the author's best offering. I do have a comment directed to the anonymous commentor of 11-17-05, whose overly long diatribe I could not finish. That commentor stated "He has never lied to her. He might not have told her of his affairs but he never lied." Anyone who fails to realize that continued, repeated, longterm cheating is the SAME thing as lying, would not recognize a lie if it bit him on the nose!

her afair is a little more complicated seeing its with her brother in law who they will eventualy see at family gatherings and even if they never seen each other again the whole family would know.those kind of secrets never hold. not saying he is right hes not at all BUT and theres always a but,his afiars could have remaind known only to him and her.(and their therepist) and like may responders pointed out she said he was blackmailing her.that lends a new twist to the whole deal.bottom line though theres a double standard for sure.my wife and i were talking about it the other day theres all these names for women that fuck on their spouses or boyfriends(whore,slut etc etc.) but none for men.my wife got angry when i said women are whores for doing it and men are whore hoppers.i admit i have a double standard its they way i was raised i guess.i was raised to believe that its mens nature to fuck different women.which im positive it is .if you had a time machine and could go back to the dawn of men and women ill bet youll find men being stronger and hunters took the women whenever they felt the urge but since weve became so called civilized we just do it with afairs.yes were supposedly smarter than that now but how many times have men used the excuse their little head does their thinking for them or the equviliant? it doesnt make it right im just saying what i believe is true.so my reply to the question is there a double standard is yes of course there is.will it ever change ? no of course it wont. those emotions can never be bred out of men no matter how civilized they think theve become.i know some very liberal thinkers(im one myself on most every other issue) that would have big problems forgiving their wife fucking on them even if theve done it theirselves.i know how this sounds and im sorry im just trying to be truthful.

He wanted revenge on a man who had not done anything wrong!

He brought a gun so he would have an advantage! IT IS CLEAR TO ME THAT HE WOULD HAVE KILLED STEVE WITHOUT A REAL CAUSE!

I would say the marriage is over and he is lucky that the soon to be former wife headed him off before he made a fatal mistake. I have no sympathy for him!!!.....Richard

concept of males being right whereas women are subserviant to them. NOT..The wife should throw the bum out and have a good life with a real man because harry ain't it. You didn't say in the story but I am sure that this is what the wife told Harry when she gave him his walking papers. He will never change.It's too ingrained in his physch to be the MAN marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

It's good to know that you have added your ending (as you should have in the first place). One independent measure to the success and influence of your writing is the large number of responses and the intensity (and depth) of many of them. It all goes to your credit, as you are the one who coined the terms of the issue through the narrative. <P>

So much have been commented already on the moral implications, that I would not even attempt to add one more of my own. I just want to add my take from a literary perspective. It is no less than a victory to the art of story telling - to be able to present a very complex issue in seemingly simple and very engaging story line, as you have done here. But in it, you had planted all the elements which later on invited the readers to develop their rich debates. You presented fair, balanced and nuanced perspectives of both husband and wife. In addition, you hinted to the different options for action which were open for both partners before and after their affairs -real or otherwise (compared with the actual course they chose). <P>

What we got as a result is an extremely rich and 'self- aware' narrative, one which invites us to open our minds, rather than veering us into one way of thinking. Congratulations! And yes, I still think that from a literary perspective -you should ALWAYS end a story...

Second they are both useless pieces of trash and it really serves them right if they stay together.

Kick his cheating ass to the curb and go find a decent guy.

This is a real wimp, not someone that does nothing but someone that ruins all that he has for no reason. This guy has everything going for him. Good job, family, loving wife and yet he still goes out and screws around. If you can't keep it in your pants then just shoot yourself and save the world some grief. Nobody deserves that b.s. she should divorce.

I read both stories, commented on part two ending...not so favorable. I also read nearly all the comments some of which I thought were way more sensitive to the issue than your story. The thing I noticed is the number of people regardless of their level of satisfaction seem to think you are a wonderful author...the best in many eyes. I have read several of your other stories and thought they speak well to the "kill the bitch" crowd but I hardly think that qualifies you as "the best on this site". Here a test or challenge if you want it. Write a story about a husband who loves his cheating wife and they are living happily in his wimp existence. In other words your typical wimp hubby story that some here seem to hate so much. Bet ya can't do it. A good writer can weave a story about any subject. I believe you are just another macho fool with an agenda. Before anyone puts words in my mouth, notice I didn't say I agree with the wimp hubby concept as something valid. Just that Mr. Wonderful DGHear is not half the author everyone thinks he is. Go ahead...prove me wrong. btw, I haven't read every one of your stories so if I missed the cuckold wimp treatise then please direct me to it and maybe I will owe you an apology.

a guy that smokes 50 cocks in one night, or a chick that has sex with only other chicks, or famous people or old folks or outer space or werewolves or.... You get the picture johngalt? Cuckold/wimp stories belong in Fetish - DG Hear doesn't need to write a non LW story to prove anything to anyone.

I actually tried to read all these comments. Cageytee came as close to my own feelings as could be done. It's obvious why America is in gridlock over everything including the furtherance of our own Empire! I sense a possible collapse from within scenario. It's evident that the readers cannot even come to an agreement as to whether double standards exist! The story, taken simply, says that the husband was a philanderer and the wife wanted one final test to justify her having put up with his continuing cheating for 30 years. He failed it and showed his double standard and a lot of you are making excuses for him by telling us how it was different for him. Give me a break. Now I will read the sequel...

Fuck that shit, you just

caught this bitch cheatin

While you at work she's

with some dude tryin to

get off?!

FUCK slittin her throat, CUT

THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

missed me missed me now you got to kiss me....CHILDISH???? TK U MLJ LV NV

old folks -- 1*

when she surfs the 'net she wears a wetsuit

As a man who has been married 55 years and screwed around all of them I tried to use discretion. It was wrong but that's life. My wife found about the one that I left her for but took me back. She also told me to lie to her from there on out so I have. No sex between us since early 1998 for various reasons. I would have the ending with the wife giving him one more chance and keeping him on a short leash. Too much time and energy invested to divorce now. All this talk of shooting someone is just so much BS. Life goes on unless someone is an absolute fool. I would miss seeing the great-grandchildren etc.

Simple, he cheated, showed no remorse until confronted with her lies, the answer is simple= divorce him and let him live a miserable existance until he kicks the bucket.

This time I read the entire story and find that to be an interesting question.

In this case she should divorce him; not because he cheated but because he is unstable and dangerous. That is proven by the fact that he took a gun to confront his brother-in-law.

He is like a rattlesnake and no one should live with a loaded gun pointed at them. At any point he may go off the deep end and kill her. She is fortunate that it hadn't happened but certainly she should not push her luck and stay married to such an unstable and dangerous man.

But to answer the question: Is there and should there be a double standard? Since she is past child bearing age, the standard should be the same for her and her husband.

However, there is and should be a different standard for young couples. That is because when young wives get pregnant by other men they can and do pass off the child as sired by her husband. Therefore, a young wife can and does cause great injury to the husband when he supports and raises the child of another man, thinking the child is his.

However, it is impossible for a man to sire a child by another woman and lead his wife to believe that she is the mother. Therefore, a man does very little injury to his wife by cheating. In fact, for that reason, her cheating is forty times worse so any claim of a double standard is outrageous and contrary to all facts and reason.

only that it is much worse when the female if the guilty party. TK U MLJ LV NV

she has Jesus' autograph

They should get a divorce and both wear warning labels for future partners.

In this story the husband has a continual string of one night stands over a long period of time, some of which he does not even use protection for. This is a direct threat to his spouses health since he could give her a STD that could harm or kill her. He then lies and/or omits the truth for years while he is together with her instead of admitting his weakness and asking for forgiveness. I think it is also important to note that he never considered changing to a job that would require less travel and temptation. The final strike against him is that not only does he not forgive her affair, whether real or imagined, but he takes his gun to his confrontation with her lover. Whether he intended to use it or not matters a lot less to me then the thought processes involved in making that decision. You bring a gun because you intend to use it or are unbalanced enough that you could end up using it. Either way that's not someone you want to share your life with.

The wife in this story on the other hand has supposedly known about his cheating for years. She has accepted a marriage built on lies and betrayal without ever trying to make it better. When she finally confronts him she either makes up a story about an affair or admits to having had one for real. She says she did it for revenge and that it was with her brother-in-law. A close family friend that he will have to deal with on a continual basis, perhaps even daily. She slept with him on multiple occasions which brings up the issue of whether or not it was just sex or leading into something more which could threaten the relationship. She could have said she'd had affairs in the past and left the partners as a mystery but instead she put a face to them and in that way rubbed his face in it and created a situation that had the potential to end badly for everyone involved. So in the end her 'cheating' was done for revenge and spite, and put people who weren't necessarily even involved in harms way in the event that her husband handled the situation badly. Again, not someone you want to share your life with.

Every single situation is different and it is up to the individuals in the relationship to decide how and if it ends. People use all kinds of excuses to cheat. They were bored or lonely or horny or they want to get revenge. I think that whether or not the husband/wife is forgiven depends on the motive for cheating. Was it a moment of weakness, a continual strand of cheating, or something done to intentionally hurt your partner?

If it's a one time lapse that didn't mean anything and the person admitted it then they should be forgiven in my opinion. If it was an intentional act that was meant to harm/shame/spite the other and/or was done for revenge thats something I couldn't forgive. The same for running around or cheating repeatedly, in my mind that's not something to forgive.

There are lots of ways to avoid cheating on your partner if you really care about them. Phone sex, webcam sex, im/chat sex, sexting, masturbating with or without a picture of your partner, and not putting yourself in a situation where it could happen. If you get in a position where it could happen make a call to your partner or a friend to talk you out of it. If that doesn't work then go somewhere where there are less temptations.

If you do cheat be an adult about it and confess to your partner as soon as is possible. That means that at most you should allow yourself 24 hours to fess up. You should do so in private and in as personal of a way as you can. No text, email, or voicemail. In person if you can or over the phone/webcam if you must do so to avoid waiting too long. Be tactful, respectful, apologetic and recognize the fact that your partner will be upset and that they have every right to be. If you can, schedule your confession so that your partner has time to process it. No doing it while they are at or about to go to anything important. Lastly, remember there will be consequences to your actions and like it or not you will have to live with them. The difference between being a man/woman and being a male/female is having the gumption/moxy to live with the consequences of what you've done.

I say to end the double standard the same way you end cheating and all forms of prejudice, start with yourself.

FAIR IS FAIR

Miriam should divorce her cheating fuck-wad jerkoff husband and take him to the cleaners. What he has done throughout the 30 year marriage and rationalizing it was only sex is the epitome of a asshole who doesn't deserve a loving wife and then his actions over the wife's contrived affair sealed the deal. Fuck him.

Do not cheat on your spouse.

Consequences abound.

OH YEAH

I just can't jump on the band wagon. I mean... 30 years? Children... grandchildren... you can't just through all of that away so easily. I understand what she did, and I think it was good that he was made to feel what she felt. But she admits that she's known about these affairs for a while. And he had given her time to make a decision. At least two days, and he wasn't rushing her. She gave him 24 hours. When he went after Steve, we have to know he's not really himself... diminished capacity and all that. There's no mention of violence in the 30 years they've been together. People cheat. They do it for many different reasons. It's not right, it's hurtful and difficult to forgive. But sometimes you need a whack upside the head to realize what's really important to you. It would be hard to rebuild the trust, but I think they should try.

This is your story and yours to write as it is in your mind. If you do this regularly it is just playing around with your readers, of which I am no longer in that category.

It pisses me off to have you give no signal at first, so we can pass on reading this. You just start weaving your tale and then leave it undone. I think it is like masturbation, you are just mentally masturbating, because it doesn't matter to you one way or another how it ends. Your readers were looking for a complete product.

Well, FUCK you! Creep!

I am going through all your stories and voting 1. See if you like that.

Push back at the self righteous and self appointed arbiter's -

Either way can work for you - you do own the story - but IMHO based on the ground work you laid - she dumps him - she cannot trust him and she should not suffer with the double standard -

Have fun

I'm disappointed at how many readers reacted with fury at not being supplied with a pre-packaged ending.

Well that's one view on it. But it sounds to me that you are just trying to justify cheating. Sorry but it doesn't matter who is cheating, they are scum. No respect for there spouse or the commitment they made to the one they say they love.

You're on. I'll first send you a private message to make sure you're still even alive. Then I'll send you a pdf if you'll let me.

But I noticed that you provoked the largest number of thoughtful comments I have ever seen and that probably pleased you and was your aim. There is a double standard and always will be to a certain extent. At my age I have seen a lot of changes in actions and attitudes. I guess I will give an ending after all, this marriage cannot be saved for whatever reason you want to apply to it. Situations similar to this have lead to a lot of murder/suicide scenarios. Thank you for writing even though you did not end your story.

After reading through the commentaries, I think it is a sad commentary on modern society, that so many people are unwilling to be honest, with themselves as well as with others.

Over and over again the bloggers to this site claim that the 'man' husband's infidelities are so much less then when a 'female' wife's infidelities. That for the 'man' it's just about the sex, so no big deal. Yet in other stories posted to the LW genre when the wife says "It was just sex", the BTB howl for her to be tortured and burned at the stake while her children are forced to watch.

Per many readers, supposedly for the man it is just the trivial matter of wetting his wick. While for women it's suppose to be that the infidelity is in the emotional bonding. Manly men do not have emotions? If there is no emotional commitment to having sex with someone other then their husbands, then why is it defined as infidelity for the wife? Do you even see your hypocrisy?

"I was lonely, so I had to get me some strange pussy, as my trophy that I was here in this town. Veni! vidi!, vici!" Loneliness is evidently not an emotion?

My experience has been that men deliberately choose these "Traveling Salesmen" professions, to provide the opportunity to fuck strangers. They knew full well what they were getting into, anonymous cunt usually. Is that not an emotional choice? Getting to swagger around and loudly brag to every group of males they meet?

Is this not the testosterone hormonally driven emotional mood swings of the perpetually adolescent narcissist boy? You are not capable of self-discipline or honoring your sworn commitments?

And as for why women choose to deliberately ignore even the most flagrant infidelities by their husbands, has to do with how our society deliberately punishes her with isolation and all the shame and crushing burdens of trying to maintain the remnants of their families. Then the ex-wives are cheated of same pay for same work and promotional opportunities, even though they have the same economic needs as men or more if they still have dependent children.

"He" was just doing what manly men do.

"She" was obviously a failure as a wife and homemaker.

Or "He" would never have dreamed of treating"Her" that way. Right?

I once wrote: "For what little effort was spent in analyzing my Husband’s need to wander or hell, even questioning His adolescent libidinous. Much of the time was spent emphasizing how important it is that i, as a dutiful wife, it is my obedience and submission to my Husband that will eventually determine His faithfulness to His vows."

I have been married to my wife for 45 years. After about 7 years, her younger sister was getting a divorce, and labeled me as a male chauvanist pig. She talked my wife into filing for a divorce. My wife, then started going out to a dance club with her sister and girl friends. We had three sons, 3, 4, and 5 years old. I was working overtime one weekend during this time and came home to a mess, left over from a party at my home and my sterio equipment was gone, stolen by the party guests. I cannot prove but am sure she cheated. My sister in law got the divorce and had nowhere to liv so I agreed she could stay with us till she could get herself a place. My wife immediately started arguing with her sister and wanted to reconcile. We dropped the divorce and I moved us 1500 miles north to change the access to interfering sisters. Twoyears later, now after ten years of marriage, my wife suddenly

stopped all intimacy, sex, even holding hands. This has gone on for the last 35 years. Divorce, after all these years would be terribly unfair to me since I have been the only bread winner all these years. I feel my needs have been refused for so long and she has no feelings for me at all. Just a room mate. I feel it is my time to cheat if I expect to ever get any needs met. I know it is my own fault for sticking it out all these years but her health has not been the best. By the way, I have never cheated and she is the only woman I have ever been with in my life.

My story shows another crazy situation along the lines of this one. I have done therapy and see how mentally messed up she is related to her disfunctional family and childhood. Still my needs are likely to never be met. As you see, there are all kinds of extinuating circumstances.

thank you all,

Artman.1

about this story. I will be interested how the "revisited" story turns out. Very well-written.

Even without the "test", which he obviously failed, how many here would accept the WIFE'S excuse of "It was only sex?"

If it's ONLY sex, then why betray the person that you claim to love, for something you claim means nothing? If it means so little, why do it, knowing how much it will hurt the person that loves you? It is ONLY sex. Meaning that you could take it or leave it, so why not leave it then. It IS only sex, after all , you won't fucking die if you don't get it from every person you find attractive. If all that matters to you is sex, why not have it with your partner, someone that loves you and gives it freely? If getting a few moments of sexual release is all that matters to you, then stay single, and do what you like. There's nothing wrong with having sex with anyone you want, sex is, after all great fun, but why get into a relationship then? If one person isn't enough for you, at least be honest about it. Why lie to someone, and intentionally hurt them?

All cheaters are just selfish scum, and the only person that really matters to them, is themselves.

It's also about deceit and contempt for your partner. Unless, as in Miriam's case, it's about revenge.

Although I could see taking the gun and going after Steve for the seduction and blackmail parts of her story. She really shouldn't have thrown that in, because it was something Harry could have used as an excuse for the way he reacted. She should have just said that she came on to Steve.

Pick an ending and write it. Then we can bitch and moan about your choices. That's the American way of doing things. That's the Literotica way of doing things. You don't finish a story like this, you get no stars. Baloney!

on one hand:

i hope she forgives him & he remembers how bad he feels on this day for the rest of his life & learns to give her the love & respect ALL men should give thier wives.

on the other hand:

fuck it , kick him out

he ain't ever going to change & she really should have done something to either stop his cheating or to have left him years ago ,

( i guess the kids & shit played a big part in her putting up with it , but now the kids are grown up so fuck him)

cut his sack off and freez dri it

handling of an important issue. Plus, I've often thought of "fake affairs" as an appropriate vehicle for handling some cheaters with whom the spouse wants to stay married. My analysis of this situation: From her perspective he failed her test, they have no children at home, and she will likely get half of the assets and alimony. From his perspective he wants what he wants and he doesn't want to lose what he doesn't want to lose. What to decide?

Glad to see DGH wrote the sequel. I'm going there now.