All Comments on 'A Gift From His Father Ch. 13'

by Absolutelywickedthoughts

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  • 16 Comments
paradise71paradise71over 10 years ago
A great series!

I'm really enjoying this one. I hope it lasts a long time. Might want to work on your spelling a little bit more though!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Nice Work!

I have enjoyed the series and I really appreciate the humor in the story. Where does it go next?

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Great follow up

I have enjoyed the series very much and would love to see it go on and on. How about getting all his ladies together for one big orgy and have his ladies go out to clubs and recruit others ( gay and straight ).

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Would love to see Lafayette Hubbard return to do as he does.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
More

He has already seen his sisters naked and fucked his mom and step-mom, why not make his sisters and mom agents? That is one sure way to make sure they are kept safe from his father's enemies.

C_frommnC_frommnover 10 years ago
John John

Getting:busted" with the Girl Friends Mother. Next thing you know April will be an Agent. Maybe Eddie could be a pussy eating agent .

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Is there gonna be anymore chapters? It's such a good story that i would like to see it go on for a little bit more

_PhoenixRising__PhoenixRising_over 9 years ago
Spellcheck

The story is quite entertaining. However, the constant plethora of grammatical and spelling errors is detracting from what could otherwise be a four or five star storie. In the age of computers, it's easy to become dependent on "spellcheck". Unfortunately, the computer often interprets intent and replaces misspelled words with nonsensical words. Having a friend, partner, Literotica colleague, etc proof your writing prior to posting would all but eliminate all criticism of this kind.

The concept of the "Ring of Power", is much like "Aladins Lamp". However, as the story continues to loop and grow exponentially, it's resembling more and more like a pseudo "Green Lantern", DC comic. I would humbly suggest John have slightly more restraint either in fear of; often mentioned but as yet unseen consequences, for immature or spiteful decisions. If not fear of consequences, perhaps the energy drain would directly impact him in some way as the ring "leeches", essence from him when the "batteries", get low from overuse. And not to overextend the metaphor of "Aladin's Lamp", but John is appearing; more and more, the part of a sultan or sheik with a harem. Only, he pimps them out to generate and/or gather energy to fuel his abilities.

I plan to keep reading; if for no other reason to see how the author will wrap up all the loose ends with his plethora of characters and these often mentioned consequences. Will the protagonist find himself the new occupant of the ring? Interested to see.

jott50jott50over 9 years ago
HEY PHOENIX RISING

when you submit something that is superior to this story, you might have cause to complain to this author...till then...STFU

disableddandisableddanalmost 9 years ago
Hey, jott50

Phoenix made valid points.... Absolutely's spelling, grammar, and punctuation all need some work, or a good editor.

And speaking as someone who HAS submitted work to this site, I DO speak from experience!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
The ending of this Chapter....

Doesn't go along with the story line so far. John already did a threesome with Candace and April and April resigned herself to the fact that John would never be a one man woman. Candace had also become her lover......

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Really like the story. But...

The numerous grammatical and spelling errors really detract from enjoying it. I'm a scientist and terrible at grammar but seriously. It could be pretty great. Too bad.

jmkuehnjmkuehnover 7 years ago
Another great chapter!

Enjoying this. Hope he has more interactions with the sisters. Like that there has been more anal encounters. Like the plot twist.

bills47bills47over 7 years ago
very hot

dam I want to be april

RadAshaRadAshaalmost 3 years ago

As many times as John sensed someone approaching the room he was in while having sex, why did he not sense April?

Michael56SmithMichael56Smithover 1 year ago

I'd totally lost track of April's memory wipes/adjustments, so I guess this was a bit of a surprise for the girl, seeing her boyfriend and mother in bed together, a shock to her system, ... ;-) TTFN

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