by ElectricBlue
Nicely written -- the visual description, the repetition. Just the right degree of lust. Very light. Everything rings true. I can easily imagine seeing this, like a short movie.
The imagery is gorgeous and the writing is provoking in all the right ways. A lovely read.
Nice! I feel as if I have just watched a short movie - and now I am wondering what might happen tomorrow morning.
Delightful story! Too bad the bus didn't lurch causing her to fall unto his lap.
Ships that pass in the night, maybe is all it will be, but talking is a gentle start.
For such few words, it's very descriptive and a sweet encounter that could someday develop into more. Very well done.
5I
Lovely writing, EB. Indeed I was seated across the aisle, watching the exchange intently. I hope it leads somewhere, but if not the vignette is concise, precise.
I enjoyed your story, very much! So keen an eye for the tiniest eye for details. I would never have thought of counting her pulse in the manner you have described. Excellent.
Love the way you capture the many possibilities of an encounter - from lots of connection to absolutely nothing. Judging by the list of sequels I am hoping it is not the latter....
Daydreaming & desire.
'Red' is an important color in your writings, so are ponytails.
Your imagination & craftsmanship touch all of my senses. Thank you. xox
I love how you can paint such a vivid picture with so few words. A wonderful story and an inspiration to other writers, for sure!!