All Comments on 'A Guy and His...? Ch. 32: Partnership'

another great chapter, keep up the good work ;)

there is a contradictory scene element which needs correcting.

You wrote: "..."I hate to do this but I have no choice, Nyrae destroy him! Order number one that the council gave you." Juno ordered."

You don't give any background reason for Juno's action, other than 'I hate to do this'.

"Order number one..." is too vague, if it even has anything to do with the out of left field attack.

Juno has been nothing but sympathetic and helpful to your hero, and suddenly he changes? It doesn't make sense. Then, once the attack is repelled, all is forgotten? Not with your hero's temper...

You did something similar with the council when your hero asked to add the fourth Jen to his harem. The council head turns and faces the council with a 'sour' look, then the entire council gets the same look. I thought there was 'evil' influence about to break out.

Instead, the head says, 'Oh, humans are scum, just not you.' (or in that vein.)

If you are foreshadowing evil influence, you need to flesh it out a bit more, and/or not just drop it. It's meaningless, otherwise, and too confusing.

GeoD

Every time he has sex with his Jinn, a resurrected/imprisoned Jinn arrives. Gotta be irritating!!!

Never seen any better story man oh hell i think one of th bet in terms how to read an story gramar and never care to explain anything bcs thats just the way the world goes no information

further the hero was asked if he could handle 3 or even 4 gins and Jake said "jes i will at best" and then every day it seems to be scruntwork to give his Gem's the basic needs and then Jake is always out of energy and then he need to take headless any silly trap and never prevent, defend or think of any backroundcheck. No Jake think he is responsible to fuck any boss relatet woman, old or young doesent matter while struggelingto keep up for his beloved. Why bother of an wish to kep all his Geanies protected and safe everyone together bcs they re bondet b body and soul in terms of lifeforce. Never bother to explayn about the personal development for Sheena or anone, just two days enou for love at second comment.

So when Jake take a slice of bread everyone falls prone to the floor and gasps because Everlast Master Jake is such humble and fall prone on the floor for punishment that will never come frome an headless unmotivatet person. Never took classes in selfdefense and never backed up for himself against other bullying coworkers. Never defend or plan against enemys traps. Don't need to do much to fulfill the old untold saga, only put your stick in the geenies and don't care.